how is this allowed in public schools?

[♥ms.pacman♥]

An acquaintance just posted a link on FB re a faith-based "motivational speaker" who spoke at a local high school today. This is in a school district we are considering moving to, so it is especially concerns me. Forget the separation of church and state, the outright gender stereotypes of this guy's whole philosophy really bother me.

http://tfninsider.org/2013/11/13/faith-based-presenter-tells-high-school-girls-dateable-girls-know-how-to-shut-up/

For those you think this site might be biased or whatnot, this is guy who writes books for teens called "R U Dateable" and has the following dating"rules" for boys and girls (this link is from his own page).

http://www.rudateable.com/cool_rules.php


Let him lead. God made guys as leaders. Dateable girls get that and let him do guy things, get a door, open a ketchup bottle. They relax and let guys be guys. Which means they don’t ask him out!

Men of God are wild, not domesticated. Dateable guys aren’t tamed. They don’t live by the rules of the opposite sex. They fight battles, conquer lands, and stand up for the oppressed.


OK, I think I just died a little inside reading these. How is this outright gender stereotyping even remotely OK to teach to teenagers?? Even if it's supposed to be rather crass or tongue-in-cheek for teenage audience..WTF?? Whatever happened to girls can do anything boys can do? Am I the only one who is disturbed by this?

[JustMe]

Ugh, I have no idea why its allowed. I thought you were going to post something far more tame than this when I saw your title.

[nfowife]

Yep, this is but one reason we left the Bible Belt for more liberal pastures....
We had many similar situations happen in our top school district in Oklahoma.

[american_mama]

Wow, I am SHOCKED that's allowed in public school and I'd be outraged. I would want to opt my child out, but that doesn't do a thing against the larger context a talk like that creates in the school my child attends. I'd like to think I would raise a stink to the principal and school board; at the very least, a message like that needs to be opt-in for students, held outside school hours, and/or held off school grounds.

[ha98ed14]

That would really piss me off because it violates my feminist belief system!

This hardly the same, but I was shocked when DD's K class did "Spring Bonnets" (aka Easter) and a Christmas Singing "Concert." We live in Republicanland, so maybe that's why no one batted an eye. Since I am in the "majority (?)" of people who celebrate these holidays, I felt funny raising an objection, but there was a Jehovah's Witness child who missed 3-4 days of school due to "religious celebrations." (Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Christmas Concert, and Thanksgiving Feast.)

[khm]

"Dateable Girls Know How to Shut Up!"


Mind blown! There would be an uprising at our school. And, I'm sooooo not in a liberal neck of the woods......

[echoesofspring]

I saw this via Twitter and couldn't believe it. It's so discouraging. But I have to say, I loved some of the tweets from the students on your first link - good for them. Hope there was an uprising.

[Globetrotter]

wow, that is unbelievable :( and completely inappropriate!!! I would boycott it.

[JBaxter]

I am Christian and live in the south and cant say as I agree with this speaker. I'm not sure how it would go over around here either.

[egoldber]

Seriously speechless. How in earth is this considered appropriate in any public school?

[lovin2shop]

Not sure how this possibly got approved, but there is definitely a huge outcry over it. It was the top story on the news I watched last night.

[Cuckoomamma]

Wow. Every so often I need an eye-opener to realize what some people think!

[hellokitty]

Most ppl in our area would probably be ok with something like this, it is very bible thumping in our area, even though we don't live down south. I would probably be the lead parent throwing a stink over it. I can't stand when they intermingle religion into schools, it's inappropriate, I don't care who the majority are. They do sneak it in at our school, and it really bugs me. Oddly, I know parents in my district who think that public schools, "teach kids how to be gay." :rolleye0014: When I asked them what they meant, they were very cryptic and said that if I watched carefully, I would notice it. Well, my oldest is in 4th grade and has been in this district since K, and so far, I haven't noticed any of this, "teaching kids how to be gay," crap that they are referring to. It's so one sided. I don't see these same parents complaining when their kid comes home with WWJD, "prizes" from school parties, etc., when they are the same parents who would throw a fit if their kids got anything remotely, "halloween" themed, instead of doing the, "harvest festival," theme. Anyway, sorry to go off on a tangent, but I think it goes along the same topic of how religion doesn't belong in schools.

[JamiMac]

The district is apologizing profusely for this. I'm pretty sure it's an isolated incident.

[Gracemom]

Yep, lots of people are upset in the school district. Heads will roll. I heard that some students walked out in protest. Proud of them! It was a PTA sponsored speaker. What on earth were they thinking???

[AnnieW625]

I am okay with student led bible or other religious groups in school and if need be a teacher or staff advisor, but not this.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

The district is apologizing profusely for this. I'm pretty sure it's an isolated incident.
that's good to hear. was wondering about this. hopefully the school district will do more research (e.g. just googling and looking up a website) in the future on speakers and what sort of thing. And a lesson for neighboring school districts as well!!

i found one of his "dateable" books on Christian bookstore online, and it got rave reviews!! I was shocked. lots of people saying how they gave it to their teen daughters and how they loved it. I was like, um, when DD is a teen, I'd rather give her a subscription to Cosmopolitan than a book like this. I'm dead serious. I really really hate any sort of reference, especially aimed at young girls, that implies they are different (e.g. less powerful, less risk-taking, etc) than boys, and that they should be quiet and not speak up as much.

[Kindra178]

The tweets made me laugh at loud, while on public transport. Who believes that s?

[pinkmomagain]

Most ppl in our area would probably be ok with something like this, it is very bible thumping in our area, even though we don't live down south. I would probably be the lead parent throwing a stink over it. I can't stand when they intermingle religion into schools, it's inappropriate, I don't care who the majority are. They do sneak it in at our school, and it really bugs me. Oddly, I know parents in my district who think that public schools, "teach kids how to be gay." :rolleye0014: When I asked them what they meant, they were very cryptic and said that if I watched carefully, I would notice it. Well, my oldest is in 4th grade and has been in this district since K, and so far, I haven't noticed any of this, "teaching kids how to be gay," crap that they are referring to. It's so one sided. I don't see these same parents complaining when their kid comes home with WWJD, "prizes" from school parties, etc., when they are the same parents who would throw a fit if their kids got anything remotely, "halloween" themed, instead of doing the, "harvest festival," theme. Anyway, sorry to go off on a tangent, but I think it goes along the same topic of how religion doesn't belong in schools.

Wow, I cannot even wrap my head around this. Thanks for sharing as it's good to understand that some people think this way. Retreating back to my cozy, liberal bubble now....

[elliput]

i found one of his "dateable" books on Christian bookstore online, and it got rave reviews!! I was shocked. lots of people saying how they gave it to their teen daughters and how they loved it.
I'm thinking there's a lot of projection going on by the writers of these reviews. Or possibly single writer of these "reviews".

[mommylamb]

That sort of thing makes me feel sick. But it doesn't surprise me.

At least you know to never make a donation to the PTA or else your money will be used for that sort of dribble.

[twowhat?]

Did he actually say those things during his speech? That's what would bother me. It's one thing if he gave a motivational speech at school that was more generic. It's another if he ACTUALLY said those things. So I would want to know what he actually said.

I'd be OK with a generic speech given by him because at least it lays it in the parent's court to further discuss this man's philosophy on their own with their children if the kids ask, or if they're old enough to say "So I went to this guy's website...."

Now, if the man actually said those things, there would be an uproar for sure, and I live in the general area which is fairly progressive when it comes to those gender sterotype issues.

And eta: totally agree that the district should not be choosing motivational speakers with extreme philosophies like that, regardless of what the speech was actually focused on. Definitely falls into the "what the he!! were they thinking??" category.

[boolady]

The district is apologizing profusely for this. I'm pretty sure it's an isolated incident.

I'm sure the district is apologizing, but it's a bit late for that, isn't it? Who thought that any discussion of what makes a student "dateable" is appropriate fodder for an assembly on school time, let alone one that focuses on gender stereotypes that are completely unacceptable. I'm not giving them a pass because they apologized when they are responsible for any content that goes out to their students, and it seems pretty clear what this speaker was going to speak to the students about.

What do you mean that it's an isolated incident? The articles about this speaker indicate that he speaks at high schools all the time. Do you mean it's isolated for this district?

[JBaxter]

We have to get FLYERS approved before they are handed out how as a full assembly approved?

[queenmama]

Did he actually say those things during his speech? That's what would bother me. It's one thing if he gave a motivational speech at school that was more generic. It's another if he ACTUALLY said those things. So I would want to know what he actually said.

I'd be OK with a generic speech given by him because at least it lays it in the parent's court to further discuss this man's philosophy on their own with their children if the kids ask, or if they're old enough to say "So I went to this guy's website...."

Now, if the man actually said those things, there would be an uproar for sure, and I live in the general area which is fairly progressive when it comes to those gender sterotype issues.

And eta: totally agree that the district should not be choosing motivational speakers with extreme philosophies like that, regardless of what the speech was actually focused on. Definitely falls into the "what the he!! were they thinking??" category.


I'm sure the district is apologizing, but it's a bit late for that, isn't it? Who thought that any discussion of what makes a student "dateable" is appropriate fodder for an assembly on school time, let alone one that focuses on gender stereotypes that are completely unacceptable. I'm not giving them a pass because they apologized when they are responsible for any content that goes out to their students, and it seems pretty clear what this speaker was going to speak to the students about.

What do you mean that it's an isolated incident? The articles about this speaker indicate that he speaks at high schools all the time. Do you mean it's isolated for this district?

If you read the tweets and comments, the students were outraged by his speech, so I'm guessing it was his usual schtick. But according to some of those students, the PTA "wouldn't tell the school" what the assembly was about beforehand (?!?!). They raise tons of money for the school so they hold the reins (I'm not making excuses, just passing along the info I found over there).

Lara

[Momit]

Holy cow. I am speechless.

[twowhat?]

If you read the tweets and comments, the students were outraged by his speech, so I'm guessing it was his usual schtick. But according to some of those students, the PTA "wouldn't tell the school" what the assembly was about beforehand (?!?!). They raise tons of money for the school so they hold the reins (I'm not making excuses, just passing along the info I found over there).

Lara

Ahhh, I didn't read the comments. This is absolutely unacceptable.

[glbb35]

That sort of thing makes me feel sick. But it doesn't surprise me.

At least you know to never make a donation to the PTA or else your money will be used for that sort of dribble.



Are you kidding me? The speaker is not something I would choose for my school or my child to see. In fact I think it was a terrible decision to bring him in. Did the PTA actually bring this in? If so, I am shocked!! In our county, the PTA isn't allowed to bring any speakers in period (it takes away from educational time) and anyone brought in even (like someone who does an educational class) has to be approved by the principal and county administrators first. I don't know about all PTA's but I can say that ours works its a$$ off and does ALL the extra activities in our school. The Father-Daughter Dances, Mother-Son events, Fall Festival, Carnival, Spring Fling, etc… All those things you want to enjoy. When I see people blindly say this would be a reason not to give any, I have to speak up. You want your kids in these activities and you want the school to hold the Father-Daughter dances yet you don't want to support it in any way? I see this time and time again and it makes me mad. If the PTA brought this in then they should be called out on it. But here, they would have had to have approval from the office and county. And if they did bring this in, it was a huge mistake there is no doubt about that but I am sure the many other things they do for the school are better. I used to be critical also about our school. then I became involved. Now I see and have respect for those who put in their time and energy into their schools and I am not so quick to judge. Keep your money but then don't have an expectation that you should have your voice heard or attend their sponsored events. MY 2 cents…

If they truly snuck an event in and didn't tell anyone about anything, I would be shocked. How did they sneak in to reserve the time and space? Here all extra activities have to have their budgets approved beforehand as well. Who signed off on it? There is an administer at that school who knew exactly what being presented. They helped schedule it, organize it and ultimately should be held accountable.

B

DS 03, 06, twins 09, 11

[boolady]

If you read the tweets and comments, the students were outraged by his speech, so I'm guessing it was his usual schtick. But according to some of those students, the PTA "wouldn't tell the school" what the assembly was about beforehand (?!?!). They raise tons of money for the school so they hold the reins (I'm not making excuses, just passing along the info I found over there).

Lara

I missed that. Nevertheless (and I am not directing this at you, Lara) the school shouldn't be permitting an assembly to occur, on school time, without them being well-acquainted with the contents thereof. That's ridiculous.

[boolady]

Are you kidding me? The speaker is not something I would choose for my school or my child to see. In fact I think it was a terrible decision to bring him in. Did the PTA actually bring this in? In our county, the PTA can't bring speakers in and anyone brought in even (like someone who does an educational class) has to be approved by the principal and county admin. I don't know about all PTA's but I can say that ours works its a$$ off and does ALL the extra activities in our school. The Father-Daughter Dances, Mother-Son events, Fall Festival, Carnival, Spring Fling, etc… All those things you want to enjoy. When I see people blindly say this would be a reason not to give any, I have to speak up. You want your kids in these activities and you want the school to hold the Father-Daughter dances yet you don't want to support it in any way? I see this time and time again and it makes me mad. If the PTA brought this in then they should be called out on it. But here, they would have had to have approval from the office and county. And if they did bring this in, it was a huge mistake there is no doubt about that but I am sure the many other things they do for the school are better. I used to be critical also about our school. then I became involved. Now I see and have respect for those who put in their time and energy into their schools and I am not so quick to judge. Keep your money but then don't have an expectation that you should have your voice heard or attend their sponsored events. MY 2 cents…

B

DS 03, 06, twins 09, 11

Are you kidding? I thought that PP's point was that if you live in that district, don't give to the PTA because this is clearly what they're going to use their money for, not to decline to give money to your own PTA. Seemed pretty clear to me. And as Lara pointed out, and I originally missed, the PTA refused to tell the school what the assembly would be about. That's not acceptable on either of their parts, and as wonderful a thing as a PTA is, this PTA screwed up big time, as did the school. If I lived in this district, and this is what the PTA unilaterally decided was appropriate content for my child, they wouldn't see another cent from me, and it has nothing to do with my being uninvolved in the school. There are plenty of ways to be volunteer and be involved in school that don't require donating to the PTA.

[queenmama]

I missed that. Nevertheless (and I am not directing this at you, Lara) the school shouldn't be permitting an assembly to occur, on school time, without them being well-acquainted with the contents thereof. That's ridiculous.

Oh, I totally agree! It makes you wonder what else goes on there!

It may sound extreme, but I don't think a school should accept public funding if they want to operate like an independent school. DS' school is like this (operates on tuition and endowment) and our PA wouldn't dream of allowing this, despite being exempt from the separation of church and state.

Lara

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Did he actually say those things during his speech? That's what would bother me. It's one thing if he gave a motivational speech at school that was more generic. It's another if he ACTUALLY said those things. So I would want to know what he actually said.

I'd be OK with a generic speech given by him because at least it lays it in the parent's court to further discuss this man's philosophy on their own with their children if the kids ask, or if they're old enough to say "So I went to this guy's website...."

Now, if the man actually said those things, there would be an uproar for sure, and I live in the general area which is fairly progressive when it comes to those gender sterotype issues.



i looked into this further (because I was curious too if he actually mentioned these rules and his book). and found this article. it says religion and "rules" were not mentioned in his speech, but it did have lots of gender stereotyping. And maybe I am spoiled from growing up near SF Bay Area and then going to grad school in Boston..while this town is more progressive than others (definitely than the one I live in), it's still not progressive enough IMO.
http://www.dallasnews.com/news/community-news/richardson-lake-highlands/headlines/20131113-motivational-speaker-at-richardson-school-criticized-for-gender-stereotyping.ece


some snippets from the article

Girls are nastier to each other than boys are, Justin Lookadoo told two packed auditoriums at Richardson High School. Being a man means protecting the weak — and women.

Most of the hourlong talk was aimed at girls, and most of it was about relationships. When he addressed boys, it was mostly about achievements.

Somewhere between the modern church and the feminist movement, guys turned into pansies,” he said. “Stand up and be a man! Do something with your life!”

[dogmom]

I just would assume this assembly was chosen by a bunch a people that are stuck in very gender stereotyped marriages that need to bolster up the view of the world. The whole "rules" thing is very laughable. You girl, sit there, look pretty and demure to the boy. You boy, take the lead, live a dangerous life, be in charge. I think it's sort of a crappy deal for the boys also. Well enough I would love to see how the speaker addressed the whole does the girl have a right to say "No!" since she's not supposed to be speaking up. But, it's not really much different that a lot of other stuff out there. I would hope my kids would give the speaker heck and came home in disbelief that people would expect that from them.

[hwin708]

Gross, and a completely inappropriate choice for a school speaker, be it public OR private school.

I don't necessarily think he discussed all of the stuff on his website, like how girls should shut up, though. This story has been posted on many different sites now, including this Buzzfeed article (http://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelzarrell/texas-school-hosts-speaker-who-encourages-girls-to-shut-up), with a few more details. While the PTA was refusing the state what the topic was, the students learned WHO the speaker would be in advance. They clearly must have visited his website and seen his statements, because they protested and his talk was delayed, but ultimately rescheduled and attendance made optional. The twitter hashtag #lookadouche seems premediated, like when you go to a wedding and are asked to you a specific hashtag for your instagram pics. So I do think the students' ire was in large part from the speaker himself, and not entirely over the content of what he said that day.

Buzzfeed also had his Facebook post on the topic, where he denied discussing such things. That being said, even when he is trying to spin his speech to seem totally benign, he includes things like "girl drama- girls will destroy each other." Like that is a totally acceptable, basic thing that we should obviously teach our kids. I have no doubt that much of the "wisdom" he imparted to these kids was totally inappropriate, even if he didn't necessarily mention his book taglines like how girls should shut up.

With the student mentioning the school's no-bullying programs, I would be willing to wager that the PTA was searching for a speaker to discuss social situations amongst teenagers. But they specifically went looking for one who had religious connections, and thus ended up with this weirdo. Even more telling is the principal's "apology" voicemail to the families, stating that the problem with the speaker was not his misogynistic message, but rather that he used "non-religious terminology." Come. On.

Anyway, I live in the deep south, and have had kids in private, Catholic schools, and this speaker would NEVER been allowed. This school's problems go well beyond an inappropriate amount of religious influence on public education.

[mommylamb]

Are you kidding me? The speaker is not something I would choose for my school or my child to see. In fact I think it was a terrible decision to bring him in. Did the PTA actually bring this in? If so, I am shocked!! In our county, the PTA isn't allowed to bring any speakers in period (it takes away from educational time) and anyone brought in even (like someone who does an educational class) has to be approved by the principal and county administrators first. I don't know about all PTA's but I can say that ours works its a$$ off and does ALL the extra activities in our school. The Father-Daughter Dances, Mother-Son events, Fall Festival, Carnival, Spring Fling, etc… All those things you want to enjoy. When I see people blindly say this would be a reason not to give any, I have to speak up. You want your kids in these activities and you want the school to hold the Father-Daughter dances yet you don't want to support it in any way? I see this time and time again and it makes me mad. If the PTA brought this in then they should be called out on it. But here, they would have had to have approval from the office and county. And if they did bring this in, it was a huge mistake there is no doubt about that but I am sure the many other things they do for the school are better. I used to be critical also about our school. then I became involved. Now I see and have respect for those who put in their time and energy into their schools and I am not so quick to judge. Keep your money but then don't have an expectation that you should have your voice heard or attend their sponsored events. MY 2 cents…

If they truly snuck an event in and didn't tell anyone about anything, I would be shocked. How did they sneak in to reserve the time and space? Here all extra activities have to have their budgets approved beforehand as well. Who signed off on it? There is an administer at that school who knew exactly what being presented. They helped schedule it, organize it and ultimately should be held accountable.

B

DS 03, 06, twins 09, 11


Wow, just coming back here and I think you totally misunderstood me. That's an awful lot of anger at a pretty benign post. I did not mean that moms here should never donate money to their school's PTA, or that all PTAs do this. I give money to our PTA. If I lived in this town, as the OP is considering moving to this district, I would never ever give money to that PTA. I would not want my money being used for an activity like this. Ever. I wouldn't trust the people who made the decision to do this.

PTAs in general do very good things for schools. I was not speaking about you, your particular PTA, nor was I speaking about my PTA. I do respect the time and energy of the folks who do PTA work, and saying I wouldn't give to this PTA does not mean that I'm quick to judge.

[mommylamb]

Are you kidding? I thought that PP's point was that if you live in that district, don't give to the PTA because this is clearly what they're going to use their money for, not to decline to give money to your own PTA. Seemed pretty clear to me. And as Lara pointed out, and I originally missed, the PTA refused to tell the school what the assembly would be about. That's not acceptable on either of their parts, and as wonderful a thing as a PTA is, this PTA screwed up big time, as did the school. If I lived in this district, and this is what the PTA unilaterally decided was appropriate content for my child, they wouldn't see another cent from me, and it has nothing to do with my being uninvolved in the school. There are plenty of ways to be volunteer and be involved in school that don't require donating to the PTA.

Thank you, boolady.

[BabyBearsMom]

Are you kidding? I thought that PP's point was that if you live in that district, don't give to the PTA because this is clearly what they're going to use their money for, not to decline to give money to your own PTA. Seemed pretty clear to me. And as Lara pointed out, and I originally missed, the PTA refused to tell the school what the assembly would be about. That's not acceptable on either of their parts, and as wonderful a thing as a PTA is, this PTA screwed up big time, as did the school. If I lived in this district, and this is what the PTA unilaterally decided was appropriate content for my child, they wouldn't see another cent from me, and it has nothing to do with my being uninvolved in the school. There are plenty of ways to be volunteer and be involved in school that don't require donating to the PTA.
:yeahthat: Mommylamb was clearly referring to this PTA in particular, as this PTA clearly makes extremely poor choices regarding the use of funds donated to them.

[glbb35]

Are you kidding? I thought that PP's point was that if you live in that district, don't give to the PTA because this is clearly what they're going to use their money for, not to decline to give money to your own PTA. Seemed pretty clear to me. And as Lara pointed out, and I originally missed, the PTA refused to tell the school what the assembly would be about. That's not acceptable on either of their parts, and as wonderful a thing as a PTA is, this PTA screwed up big time, as did the school. If I lived in this district, and this is what the PTA unilaterally decided was appropriate content for my child, they wouldn't see another cent from me, and it has nothing to do with my being uninvolved in the school. There are plenty of ways to be volunteer and be involved in school that don't require donating to the PTA.

I agree with you in that there are plenty of ways to get involved in the school that don't require donating. In our county the PTA gets very little parental volunteer participation and they plan ALL extra activities that go on with the school. The county only pays for 1 workshop a year so the PTA does the rest here. They fund EVERY teacher conference and workshop. If you don't pay your dues here these kind of programs don't' happen. And I agree every PTA is different and every county handles things differently. But to blind say no money goes into them is only in the end going to hurt your students. Why don't you join and then have a say and have a voice. IF the is PTA is as strong fisted as it sounds it sounds like they need new leadership and more regular parents involved making a difference. Most high schools here, in fact so do middle schools here, have a PTSA, a student driven PTA. Maybe that is something to look into.

I still can't wrap my head around the fact some PTA member just scheduled during a school day, interrupting class time, a program and gave no notice to the school. Someone isn't telling the truth in the school. No one walks into a high school and says we have a speaker coming this day, won't tell anyone what it is about and then expects all students to attend. That is nearly unheard of. There was a situation that happened a few years ago in WV where some group brought in a similar type of group to talk to students. Like normal counties, the school approved the person coming in and scheduled it and then were horribly embarrassed about the outcome and back lash. There were some major backpedaling by the school going on for allowing this. So again, I wonder who the heck in the school ok'd this? Someone had to. Someone needs to be doing some serious investigating. There is absolutely no way that would ever happen here. Class time is never taken for "speakers" anyway. The saddest thing about this is all the attention the horrible speaker will receive. Now he/she will have a platform to continue to voice their crap.

And no there isn't a lot of anger in response to blogs. This happens every day on this site and many more. Emails/blogs are pretty emotionless and always seem harsher than they are.

B

[maestramommy]

I'm speechless. If this happened at our HS I would be contacting the school board ASAP and writing letters to the town paper. Not that it would.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Gross, and a completely inappropriate choice for a school speaker, be it public OR private school.

I don't necessarily think he discussed all of the stuff on his website, like how girls should shut up, though. This story has been posted on many different sites now, including this Buzzfeed article (http://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelzarrell/texas-school-hosts-speaker-who-encourages-girls-to-shut-up), with a few more details. While the PTA was refusing the state what the topic was, the students learned WHO the speaker would be in advance. They clearly must have visited his website and seen his statements, because they protested and his talk was delayed, but ultimately rescheduled and attendance made optional. The twitter hashtag #lookadouche seems premediated, like when you go to a wedding and are asked to you a specific hashtag for your instagram pics. So I do think the students' ire was in large part from the speaker himself, and not entirely over the content of what he said that day.

Buzzfeed also had his Facebook post on the topic, where he denied discussing such things. That being said, even when he is trying to spin his speech to seem totally benign, he includes things like "girl drama- girls will destroy each other." Like that is a totally acceptable, basic thing that we should obviously teach our kids. I have no doubt that much of the "wisdom" he imparted to these kids was totally inappropriate, even if he didn't necessarily mention his book taglines like how girls should shut up.

With the student mentioning the school's no-bullying programs, I would be willing to wager that the PTA was searching for a speaker to discuss social situations amongst teenagers. But they specifically went looking for one who had religious connections, and thus ended up with this weirdo. Even more telling is the principal's "apology" voicemail to the families, stating that the problem with the speaker was not his misogynistic message, but rather that he used "non-religious terminology." Come. On.

Anyway, I live in the deep south, and have had kids in private, Catholic schools, and this speaker would NEVER been allowed. This school's problems go well beyond an inappropriate amount of religious influence on public education.

Yes, it sounds like he didn't use the taglines from his book/website in his speech. But I agree, the overall message was still highly inappropriate and had no place in a school.

Also, i am too shocked about the principal's voicemail message. What.The.Frack. As if the "use of non-religious terminology" was what got people upset. Um, no, how about the promotion that girls are all drama queens, boys have become "pansies" since the rise of feminism, etc.

i saw this and apparently there are lots of people who agree with his overall message. Shaking my head here.
http://blogs.dallasobserver.com/unfairpark/2013/11/richardson_hs_speaker_baffled.php

[crayonblue]

I'm very aware of most Christian speakers and I have never heard of this guy.

My take is that he is using controversial language to make points. Probably works with teens.

Interestingly, just yesterday I attended a presentation on bullying by a lady who has started a no-bullying organization that teaches kids how to deal with bullies and also to defend themselves against predators. She said that girl bullying is far nastier than boy bullying. Maybe it's more acceptable for a female to say that.

[ssand23]

That is disgusting. If we lived in that district, I would be contacting the principal, superintendent and someone higher up in the state government about making a complaint. I feel that the separation of church and state is important. I live in New Jersey and my children attend school with children of many different faiths. All my children and I aren't even the same religion. :) Public school just isn't the place for faith based programs nor is it the place for programs that border on misogynistic and use language that could be offensive like pansy.

[KrisM]

I agree with you in that there are plenty of ways to get involved in the school that don't require donating. In our county the PTA gets very little parental volunteer participation and they plan ALL extra activities that go on with the school. The county only pays for 1 workshop a year so the PTA does the rest here. They fund EVERY teacher conference and workshop. If you don't pay your dues here these kind of programs don't' happen. And I agree every PTA is different and every county handles things differently. But to blind say no money goes into them is only in the end going to hurt your students. Why don't you join and then have a say and have a voice. IF the is PTA is as strong fisted as it sounds it sounds like they need new leadership and more regular parents involved making a difference. Most high schools here, in fact so do middle schools here, have a PTSA, a student driven PTA. Maybe that is something to look into.

I still can't wrap my head around the fact some PTA member just scheduled during a school day, interrupting class time, a program and gave no notice to the school. Someone isn't telling the truth in the school. No one walks into a high school and says we have a speaker coming this day, won't tell anyone what it is about and then expects all students to attend. That is nearly unheard of. There was a situation that happened a few years ago in WV where some group brought in a similar type of group to talk to students. Like normal counties, the school approved the person coming in and scheduled it and then were horribly embarrassed about the outcome and back lash. There were some major backpedaling by the school going on for allowing this. So again, I wonder who the heck in the school ok'd this? Someone had to. Someone needs to be doing some serious investigating. There is absolutely no way that would ever happen here. Class time is never taken for "speakers" anyway. The saddest thing about this is all the attention the horrible speaker will receive. Now he/she will have a platform to continue to voice their crap.

And no there isn't a lot of anger in response to blogs. This happens every day on this site and many more. Emails/blogs are pretty emotionless and always seem harsher than they are.

B

I think you think your school is representative of all schools. In my experience, there are a wide variation of what schools cover vs PTO/PTA. Here, for example, the town's parks and rec puts on the Mother-Son and Daddy-Daughter dances. It's $10/person and not held at a school. We do have speakers/assemblies during the day. Not all are strictly educational. My kids are in elementary, but they have assemblies with the high school kids putting on part of the play, or a group playing music, etc. Our PTO does not pay for any teacher workshops or conferences. They do pay for new recess equipment,, additional books or laptops, scholarships for graduating seniors, etc. So, there really is a wide range of things the PTO/PTA does, not just your experiences.