New love, young love, first love...

[SnuggleBuggles]

I just watched "The Notebook" for the first time and it got me thinking about that first love because they captured it so well, ime. Since I married my first love, I don't have any personal experience for what falling in love is like the 2nd+ time around or when older so I wanted to ask questions to people that didn't marry their first love. Was the total "can't live without each other, need to be together every second of every single day" how it always goes down in those early days/ months/ years? Or did we get the extra whammy of being young and hormonal? If you have fallen in love a few times in life, can you share those experiences? I'd really love to hear if you are willing to tell. :)

[pastrygirl]

I haven't seen The Notebook, maybe I should! I married my second love, who I met 10 years after my first love (and did not have the opportunity to date in between; my crushes were all unrequited during that time). Since I was in my mid to late twenties the second time, it was not as crazy-frantic-I-will-DIE-without-this-person. It felt more mature, but I did want to spend every single second with him. We worked together, so we did get to spend A LOT of time together! I irrationally(?) felt like I wanted to marry him right away. He had never dated anyone, so I don't think his feelings were as dramatic as mine. We dated for a year before he proposed and were engaged for 7 months. But, from the start, he wanted to be with me all the time, too. We were/are both homebodies, so we were happy just to hang out and do nothing much of the time.

I don't know when the intensity of those need-to-be-together feelings died down, but we did and do always want to be near each other (married 10 years). We were unemployed for a few months before our wedding and spent all our time together. I never want to be away from HIM, though I often want to be away from the kids WITH him! I have to admit that at some point, we stopped sitting right next to each other on the couch, because having the end table to put down my wine or tea became pretty important. ;) But the first few years, I forwent having my wine handy!

[Jenny_A]

I've been in love 3 times. The 3rd time was with my DH. Every time was "can't live without each other, need to be together every second of every single day". I'd say the first time was perhaps more "magical" in a way, because I had no history of having my heart broken. I remember thinking that I had cornered the market on love and that nobody had ever felt this way expect for me. But, yes, it's wonderful and awesome every time! :)

How special that you married your first love! I think that would be very cool.

[flashy09]

I think new love hormones are very strong and every new relationship has that infatuation stage. I didn't find that any weaker with boyfriends after the first love. But I was much more aware of it being a stage vs " this is my SOULMATE and only one for me and nobody has ever loved someone so much" way of thinking and I was also aware that things can go south. So it was never quite the blind innocence of first love. But basically, yes the feelings were just as intense. Which I wish I knew after my first breakup when I was certain I would never feel that way again.

[georgiegirl]

I think new love hormones are very strong and every new relationship has that infatuation stage. I didn't find that any weaker with boyfriends after the first love. But I was much more aware of it being a stage vs " this is my SOULMATE and only one for me and nobody has ever loved someone so much" way of thinking and I was also aware that things can go south. So it was never quite the blind innocence of first love. But basically, yes the feelings were just as intense. Which I wish I knew after my first breakup when I was certain I would never feel that way again.

Ditto this.