How to gain self confidence?

[Mom to Brandon and 2 cats]

A little background:
Two years ago, I took a job closer to home, but outside of my work comfort zone. 99% of my previous job experience was focused on one "arm" of civil engineering (land development). The new job is focused on the other "arm" of civil engineering (capital projects design management).

In my current job, there's not much guidance to be found. Processes and procedures are not written down. There's a lot of complaining from the folks managing the construction about the quality of the design (which is what I do). The management has completely turned over in the past 3 years. My immediate supervisor has no background in what I do and is not helpful.

I've been running into problems (some little, some big), and am not handling it well. I've been beating up on myself (because hindsight is 20/20), and it's not productive. I'm feeling depressed, and not wanting to come into work.

I think the problem was that in my past positions, I was in a position to positively know what I was doing most of the time, and was successful. Here, I feel criticized and am sorely lacking in self confidence.

Does anybody have any advice on how to gain my self confidence back? Every once in awhile, I'll get kudos for something gone right, but then it seems like immediately thereafter, something else goes wrong, and they 'cancel' each other out. There's definitely more wrongs than rights. Or maybe it just seems that way. Rights are not really celebrated around here.

Help, advice, appreciated.
--Jennifer

[lovin2shop]

That sounds like a really tough position to be in! I'm not sure that I have really great words of wisdom, but I have been in a similar place in my career in the past. The only insight I have to share is that the most important thing that you get from any failure, perceived or not, is learning something from it. When I was stuck in a job that I didn't understand and had no one really to turn to, I just tried to fake it, because that was all I thought I could do at the time. If I had it to do over again, I would not fake it, but would I have done everything I could to learn what I needed to know even if that involved shaking down every manager, owner, whoever for the resources to learn what I needed to know. The confidence to ask for and get those resources, I would probably fake! But really, just being sincere about what you need and want to succeed can garner quite a bit of respect in the long run.

[ZeeBaby]

Can you join a professional group where you can get peer support?

[twowhat?]

That sounds rough:( I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have a supervisor or other teammates to turn to. I started my current job with little experience - very similar to the way you describe the two different "arms" of the field - I had experience in one arm but very little in the other. I spoke up whenever I was unsure and someone would help guide me. It doesn't sound like you have that kind of support:(

I like the professional group idea mentioned above, if it exists. Do you know anyone in the field you are trying to gain experience in? A past colleague or friend or anyone willing to be an ear?

As for gaining confidence, that's a tough one. I am also way more affected by things gone wrong than I am by things that went right. I think I posted here when I pissed off a client and cried (literally) all afternoon about it - thank goodness I work from home. It is hard when you work in a field where when things go right, that's how it should be and when things go wrong, someone is to blame. I think over time you develop a thick skin...I think it helps very much to have someone (a peer) in the field who "gets" it to vent to which is one of the things that helped me get through the last episode.

eta: I have no idea what that field is like re: jobs, but one thing that might help you in terms of feeling like you're moving in a positive direction is to start exploring other potential job opportunities. I do think there's such a thing as being stuck in a job where you aren't appropriately set up to succeed.

[hillview]

professional group
book you can read
find a mentor
is there a board or linked in group you could join that has similar folks in it
finally cut yourself some slack. Set reasonable goals vs expect perfection.