How much do you "entertain" your children?

[cleo27]

Hello,

I hesitate to post this, but I'm feeling somewhat frustrated lately. DD is 9 years old and an only child. She is not good at self entertaining at all. I am a SAHM, and whenever she is home, with no planned activities or friend over to play, she is very persistent waiting me to play with her (or DH, if I am not home - seldom!). She does not like to read independently, play by herself, even do crafts on her own. She was really into the Rainbow Loom for about a week, but now doesn't want to do it unless I pull up stuff on YouTube and sit with her. She wants me to play dolls, Lego, crafts, etc.

I love her so much, but I feel guilty if I try to do something on my own, like read, sew or even clean, because she is constantly asking me to do stuff. She will usually end up watching Spongebob or rarely playing Nintendo. (Im so sick of Spongebob!). She is involved in at least one sport a season, Girl Scouts, swim lessons, many camps over the summer. I just don't know what to do.

I love her very much, but frankly I dread days off school and weekends, because I feel like I never get a break. I'm considering pushing her to do a travel sport to keep her busier and out of the house more.

Thanks for reading. Maybe I should have put this in the Bitching Post, but looking for suggestions on what is reasonable.

[nfowife]

I think a lot of it is personality. My DD is 8.5 and she is fine on her own- does crafts, a lot of reading, writes notes, plays alone with barbies. DS is almost 7 and he's like your DD. If DD doesn't want to play with him and he isn't involved in some lego set he is asking to watch TV and complaining of boredom. Drives me nuts!

[georgiegirl]

It's definitely personality related. My DD (7.5) is like that...little to no ability to play independently. DS (4) , on the other hand, can entertain himself for hours. He might need my help or want me to read to him, but he rarely wants to play with me.

[twowhat?]

Definitely personality related. However, I would have no qualms instituting an independent play time for a couple of hours a day (or more, for that age!). You cannot constantly be "on" like that! I force my kids (5yos) to leave me alone for at least a couple of hours on a weekend day. I need that time to, well, do what adults want to do on weekends. Put my feet up. Not to mention laundry, dishes, etc, etc...

[lalasmama]

My DD is 9.5, and is basically an only child--DSDs are married and on their own.

DD can definitely have phases where she thinks I am her playmate whenever I am home. When she gets like this, DH and I will play a game with her, and then institute some personal time when each of us does our own quiet activity.

I will admit, though, that DD kicks butt on reading silently to herself, or to her dolls when she plays "school," so some days we just encourage that if we need a break.

[ZeeBaby]

I agree with personality. Mine are only 16 mos apart so they play with each other constantly. I am more of a referee then a playmate for them.

[BunnyBee]

Sounds like she's an extrovert. I have at least one and am an introvert, so I understand the mental exhaustion. There's nothing wrong with explaining that while she craves being with people, you need time alone to recharge. There are bunches of articles online with tips of varying degrees of usefulness.