My first bad sports experience with my kids

[elektra]

I feel like I just have to vent because what happened on my son's soccer field today had my blood boiling!
I am really glad I didn't freak out or yell at anyone like the "crazy sports parents" I have seen. I do not want to be that parent. But I was this. close. to flipping my sh*t.
I drafted a letter to the AYSO people and am going to sleep on it before sending. But man, I was ready to punch someone in the face.
Basically the opposing team had a boy who was shoving our players down and calling them "losers". And then it just kept happening. They are 4! And there are no refs. So it was just a complete #fail all around. Luckily, DS did not seem too phased. More bewildered. We had a good talk about sportsmanship, but sheesh!

[ShanaMama]

Wow. Where were those kids parents??

[larig]

Oh, Elektra, I'm sorry that you guys experienced this today. I'd have been super pissed too. If I saw my kid do that I'd run on that field and yank him off by his ear.

[elektra]

Oh, Elektra, I'm sorry that you guys experienced this today. I'd have been super pissed too. If I saw my kid do that I'd run on that field and yank him off by his ear.

Larig, my email references that- where were the coaches or parents of the the other team? It was crazy. It is hard being on the parent side of this situation!

[niccig]

At that age it's up to the coaches to intervene. Once they have refs on the field, it's the ref's job to call the kids on it. DH was a ref in U8 and our division tells them to give them a warning first then call them on it and if needed talk to the coach. Now at U10, a penalty gets called.

Our AYSO is very strict on this kind of thing, so definitely report it - give team name and player number.

[KrisM]

That's awful. At that age here, they have coaches on the field with the kids. Two per team. They help tell the kids where to go, loosely ref, etc. Pushing would be stopped. I can't imagine the parents letting that happen. Ugh.

[BabyBearsMom]

Oh Elektra. That is so awful. I would have been livid too. What terrible behavior. You have to wonder what his parents are teaching him if he thinks that is acceptable behavior. You did great keeping your cool. I think I would have stormed the field in a fit of mama bear rage and be really embarrassed about it later.

[AshleyAnn]

Oh Elektra. That is so awful. I would have been livid too. What terrible behavior. You have to wonder what his parents are teaching him if he thinks that is acceptable behavior. You did great keeping your cool. I think I would have stormed the field in a fit of mama bear rage and be really embarrassed about it later.

:yeahthat:

Except I would have stormed the field and not been a bit embarrassed to have it out with juniors mommy and the coaches. Do your job and parent you child or I will break out the momma bear. They should br embarrassed their child's behavior caused the situation.

[arivecchi]

Larig, my email references that- where were the coaches or parents of the the other team? It was crazy. It is hard being on the parent side of this situation!
What about your coach? My DH had no problem yelling at kids from other teams if their coaches were not saying or doing anything.

[crl]

I am so sorry. I can imagine how frustrating that must have been. I think that's one of the hard things about being a parent on the sidelines at sports, there's nothing you can do without making the whole situation worse.

Catherine

[elektra]

What about your coach? My DH had no problem yelling at kids from other teams if their coaches were not saying or doing anything.

Our coach did try to do what he could but he should have done more in hindsight. Like called a timeout and had a talk with the other coach to settle things down, or just yelling at the other kids or blowing a whistle and saying, "no pushing". Our coach was yelling " no grabbing!" When one of the opposing players was grabbing onto our guy's shirt, and then our player grabbed back. I think he felt like it was his job to instruct our players and the other coach's job to instruct their players. Some of our moms were standing up and yelling WTH. It put our coaches in a tough position. But yeah, I was not exactly happy with our coaches because I feel it is up to then to handle it as opposed to parents yelling from the sidelines.

[ArizonaGirl]

I used to umpire girls softball games and I never really had problems with the kids; however, I will tell you that I threw out a coach once because his teams parents were out of control (unhappy with the play calling and yelling that the other team wasn't being fair), and I can't make the parents leave so we were told if this happened the coach and parents get a warning and then the coach gets chucked.

It was interesting tho because I think that in my situation, the kids were a bit older and more embarrassed by their parents than anything else.

I am sorry that you had such a difficult experience and I hope that the league takes this seriously. :hug:

[JBaxter]

Yes this is on the coach. In the letter make sure you add who you were playing. AYSO coaches here & in MD had a training session were they covered things like that. The child should have been sideline. But must have been the weekend I saw a PARENT get directed to leave the soccer field Saturday first time in all my kids sports years I saw one kicked out. ( U10 Soccer)
At that age it's up to the coaches to intervene. Once they have refs on the field, it's the ref's job to call the kids on it. DH was a ref in U8 and our division tells them to give them a warning first then call them on it and if needed talk to the coach. Now at U10, a penalty gets called.

Our AYSO is very strict on this kind of thing, so definitely report it - give team name and player number.

[SnuggleBuggles]

That sucks.

This year, our 4-5yos had official refs after problems last year. Last year, coaches were spending way too much time arguing with each other about rules but at least nothing like you describe. The refs have actually been really helpful. A bit over the top for the age group but I think it is good to have a neutral party there. Might be worth requesting. We just have older kids do it; they've been through training.

[TwinFoxes]

I'm so sorry E! I hope it didn't put a damper on our DS's enthusiasm. The only bad behavior I saw at tee-ball was over parking. It was pretty bad though, f-bombs were tossed out, and they were coaches (of older kids, not tee-ballers…but still!) DDs didn't hear, they were playing. If I were in your shoes, I'd be annoyed at your coach too. Pushing isn't cool, and name calling is definitely NOT cool.

[crl]

I used to umpire girls softball games and I never really had problems with the kids; however, I will tell you that I threw out a coach once because his teams parents were out of control (unhappy with the play calling and yelling that the other team wasn't being fair), and I can't make the parents leave so we were told if this happened the coach and parents get a warning and then the coach gets chucked.

It was interesting tho because I think that in my situation, the kids were a bit older and more embarrassed by their parents than anything else.

I am sorry that you had such a difficult experience and I hope that the league takes this seriously. :hug:

dh swears he's never umping another game after how obnoxious the coaches on one team were to him the last time he umped. He's hiring one of the teenagers to do his turn from now on. I have to say I have not been all that impressed with how kids and parents act in sports so far. I keep telling ds (and myself) that we cannot control how other people act, but we are responsible for how we act.

Catherine