"I hate you very much" How to respond

[babyonway]

I said to my DD this AM "I love you very much" she responds with "I hate you very much". She was totally kidding, smiling, etc and trying to get a rise out of me. How should I have responded? I put her in a time out because I said that was mean and we don't say mean things to people.

What should I do when something like this happens again. Was a time out appropriate?

[DietCokeLover]

I would have bear hugged her and said, well I still love you to pieces and I bet you love me too. And then I would have gone on about my day.

[Indianamom2]

I don't think I would have done a time out, especially if it was attention seeking behavior. I have generally just very calmly said that "We don't hate anyone." That hurts feelings. Then I move on.

[rin]

I wouldn't do a time-out for what you described, since I think that would give her comment way too much weight.

I would probably just say something like "Oh DD, we don't say things like that. It's mean, and it hurts my feelings. I love you very much no matter what." And then I'd drop it. I think kids often say things just to see what kind of response they get. At least for my DD, being put in time out for something like that would ensure that we'd spend the next month hearing her say "I hate you" to see if she could get a rise out of us again.

[elektra]

Looks like she's only 3, right? I agree that this would be a good time for playful parenting instead of a time out.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I would have bear hugged her and said, well I still love you to pieces and I bet you love me too. And then I would have gone on about my day.

Same. Definitely not time out. She was being silly.

[anonomom]

I get this a lot (a LOT) from my DS, though usually when he's mad. I just say blandly "I'm sorry to hear that" and move on. I know he doesn't mean it, so I don't want to react too much.

[minnie-zb]

I would not have a done a time out. It's hard to say how I would have reacted since I don't know what was going on before this occurred, it sounds to me like it might have been her poor attempt at being playful and fun, but trying too hard and coming off poorly. But, I could be reading the situation all wrong as I wasn't there. If I think it was her attempt at humor/being cute/etc. I would probably do something silly in return.

[babyonway]

Thank you everyone. Now I feel like a total jerk. I was so caught off guard I didn't know what to do and that is the first thing that came to my head to do. I feel like a big jerk. Thank you everyone for the great advice now I will know what to do next time. (cause of course there will be a next time)

[BabbyO]

Thank you everyone. Now I feel like a total jerk. I was so caught off guard I didn't know what to do and that is the first thing that came to my head to do. I feel like a big jerk. Thank you everyone for the great advice now I will know what to do next time. (cause of course there will be a next time)

Don't be so hard on yourself. I probably would have reacted in a similar way...and you were caught off guard. What is great, is if it does happen again you can handle it differently - and there is a lesson in that as well. She will see first hand how we can change tactics and respond in a better way (make better choices - even mommy and daddy need to do that). She will see first hand how your two different reactions made her feel...

[babyonway]

Don't be so hard on yourself. I probably would have reacted in a similar way...and you were caught off guard. What is great, is if it does happen again you can handle it differently - and there is a lesson in that as well. She will see first hand how we can change tactics and respond in a better way (make better choices - even mommy and daddy need to do that). She will see first hand how your two different reactions made her feel...

Thank you for this cause I really feel bad. Your response helps a lot though! Thank you.

[BabbyO]

Thank you for this cause I really feel bad. Your response helps a lot though! Thank you.


;) No problem - says the mama who is trying to forgive herself for snapping at her 2 yo more times than she can count this weekend because he was so beligerent and she's been sick...not a good combination. We all have our moments, usually kids just remember the good ones, though! :)

[TwinFoxes]

Looks like she's only 3, right? I agree that this would be a good time for playful parenting instead of a time out.

:yeahthat: To me those are fightin' words…tickle fightin' words. :)

ETA: OP, don't feel bad. In the grand scheme of things it's not a big deal. But I do think punishment should be saved for true naughty behavior, not kids being kids stuff.

[anonomom]

Please don't feel bad! Kids have the unique ability to push all of our buttons and some days we react better than others. I don't think how you handled it was necessarily wrong (and certainly not jerk-like!), just different from how others might deal with it.

[DietCokeLover]

Oh mama, don't be hard on yourself. We all have moments we would like to do over. Hugs to you.

[mackmama]

Don't be hard on yourself. It's hard to figure out what to do in the moment. Hindsight is often best! Now you are prepped for next time.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk (http://tapatalk.com/m?id=1)

[babyonway]

Thank you all again so much for the responses. It is making me feel better it is really helping! Thanks again!

[Momit]

Looks like she's only 3, right? I agree that this would be a good time for playful parenting instead of a time out.

:yeahthat:

And definitely don't feel bad. I think we've all said/done things as parents we later realize weren't the best. Don't sweat it.