Help - how did this happen

[Chitowngirl]

My DS is just over a year old. We started introducing foods slowly at around 6 months and he really seemed to like them. He would try pretty much anything and really seemed to like feeding himself. Fast forward a year and I can't get him to eat ANYTHING... Well anything besides Cheerios and bananas that is. Even things he loved two weeks ago like yogurt or carrots he just will not eat now. Not only does he not eat them, but he shakes his head, flings his arms around, and sweeps the food on the floor without even tasting it. I've definitely heard stories about kids who were picky eaters, but this is like he became a whole different kid overnight. Plus, it's not like he always tastes it and doesn't like it. Sometimes I think he'd just rather throw the food and squish the food than eat it. He's a pretty determined kid. Once he decides not to eat anymore, the more I keep offering food - even something different - the more he yells and shakes his head no.

Everyone keeps telling me that if he gets hungry enough he will eat, but he's always been a skinny kid (90%ile for height but 40%ile for weight). I just worry that I'm going to starve him, but on the other hand I don't want to make it worse by making mealtimes a struggle.

Advice would definitely be appreciated.

[lmh2402]

no real advice, but commisseration

DD was a great eater. and then something happened - i think it's age and independence - and she became ridiculously picky

what's helped us - she needs and wants a lot more independence. we got he out of her highchair and into a tripp trapp at the table with everyone else. that alone helped tremendously - she was / is so excited to sit right at the table with us. also, against every grain of my mess-avoiding body, i now give her her own bowl and spoon and fork and let her go to town. she flings and flaps and food gets everywhere, but some gets in her mouth and she is less resistant to me helping her if she's doing some on her own

DD is 16 months, so older than your DS, but we've been struggling for awhile. hoping things turn for you soon, but maybe a bit more independence will help. good luck

[twowhat?]

Well, in our experience we totally contributed to the problem - and you don't necessarily realize you are doing it. Just tiny things, like offering both bananas and a new food because you know he'll eat the bananas and you don't want him to be hungry...

A year is a long time for this to gradually get worse and worse.

For us it all came down to "don't want them to be hungry" so you find something that they will eat. Which devolves into making sure you buy things they will eat "just in case". Even if you don't realize you're doing it.

If I could go back, I would totally have done things differently - no cooking anything special for them, no buying things I know they'd eat...I'd just cook meals for the family and serve it (cut up for babies) and if they don't eat it, they don't eat it. And I'd be consistent about it.

We have an extremely picky eater who used to be a great eater when she was a baby - eating fruits, veggies, etc. She won't even eat any fruit now. Not even banana. It's so awful to have such a picky eater.

I really wish I could go back in time with regards to the whole picky eating thing. It is probably my biggest parenting regret.

[ArizonaGirl]

We are struggling too, much like lmh2402.

At almost 15 months some days are good and some are not.

We just keep providing the same food over and over and some days she will eat and others not so much.

She is a peanut at at 18 lbs 5 oz, which is at the very bottom of the growth curve, but the ped says to just keep doing what we are doing.

No other suggestions, just :hug:

[abh5e8]

For us it all came down to "don't want them to be hungry" so you find something that they will eat. Which devolves into making sure you buy things they will eat "just in case". Even if you don't realize you're doing it.

If I could go back, I would totally have done things differently - no cooking anything special for them, no buying things I know they'd eat...I'd just cook meals for the family and serve it (cut up for babies) and if they don't eat it, they don't eat it. And I'd be consistent about it.

this! it works really well for our 1st 3 dc (the 4th is yet to be determined). i cook the meals, they choose to eat or not. but they can't and don't fill up on snacks or milk. 1 snack a day, at about 4 and its usually milk plus a fruit or veggie. dinner is later, maybe 630 or so. they still whine and complain some. sometimes they refuse to eat but its their choice. i serve a small portion of each part of the meal. they can have more of something after they finish what is on their plate. we dont' fight about it, its their choice. they always eat eventually. i cook a mix of things i know they like and new things. it takes 12 - 15 times to learn to like a new food, so keep serving it!

or, you can serve what you know they like and will eat. less whining and complaining this way, but you may also end up with much pickier eaters. i know food is not the hill to die on for some families. i guess you could say it is for ours, but really, its pretty low key. very matter of fact. eat what is offered when and if you are hungry. if not, wait for the next meal. :)

oh and sometimes i do allow choices. but i will give 2 and they can choose. ie. apple or orange for snack. broccoli or peas for dinner. that kind of thing. now the olders do help plan meals. do we want tacos or spaghetti on Friday. salmon or chicken on sat. they enjoy helping plan and cook. and we do eat out some. they have pizza some. its just not that often, and on my schedule, not theirs. food can be so so so tough. op, i'd just offer it and if the child throws it down, set them down from the table and when they get hungry, offer again. it may take some time for the dc to get used to the routine, but they will.

eta: for toddlers low on the growth curve...try offering only higher calorie density foods. avocado or full fat yogurt or almond butter instead of crackers or cheerios. focus on meats with some fat still in them, eggs (scrambled, hard boiled, deviled), veggies with a little butter or coconut oil added, some dairy and fruits. dips are great for helping add calories. peanut or almond butter, hummus, guacomole, "ranch" made from dried spices and yogurt. mine love the "spinach artichoke" type dip restaurants serve. i make it with cottage cheese, romano and parmesean, tons of spinach and kale, a few artichokes. they dip carrots and celery and peppers in it. also watch the milk. kids will fill up on milk and not eat. i offer milk at snack times, like afternoon snack and maybe bedtime, so they eat more foods at meals.

[Chitowngirl]

This is so strange to me as it literally seemed to happen overnight. A month ago he ate and now he won't. I'll admit though it may have been more gradual and I just missed it. I also may have accidentally played into it as a previous poster was saying. I just never wanted him to completely go hungry. It will be hard for me to consistently let him refuse meals, but I will try it now as I hate to let things get worse.

Any ideas on the throwing food part of it? It's not so much throwing as much as he flings his arms arms around and brushes any unwanted food on the floor. We are working on sign language to try to get him to say 'all done' when he is finished but it's not working. Is this age appropriate or something we really need to put a stop to now?

EDIT: I just realized my first post was confusing and I don't know how to fix it. My DS is only 12 months now and we started introducing foods 6 m

[Simon]

Honestly, with such a fast change, I would suspect teething pain or the like. Bananas are soft and cheerios will dissolve in the mouth making both easy to chew/eat.

Throwing food usually just means they are not hungry remove from high chair and let them go play/read, etc. Its totally age appropriate, although frustrating. Sign language can help but not overnight.

Also, you should consider his food intake over several days or a week. Often times, a toddler with eat 3-4 servings of a food (carrots, for example) on one day and then refuse them for the next week and then eat a few servings of broccoli all in one sitting. My kids tended to only eat well balanced diets if you look over the long term and not just day to day and I think that's fairly typical.

[BabyBearsMom]

This is really normal behavior for a one year old. Both of my girls did it from about 12 months to 16 months, DD2 is just coming out of it. My pediatrician reminds us that once they get past one, they may not be as hungry every day, so some days they will eat a lot and some days they will eat a little. I continue to give the kids the food I am cooking and they move on eventually. As for the throwing food, I only give my kids two or three bites at a time at that age. I cut everything up and keep it on a plate by me and then give them a couple of bites as they finish. That way, if they decide to throw the food, they throw two bites on the floor, no big deal. Once food starts being thrown I say "Okay, I think you are telling me you are done" and I take the food away.

[Tondi G]

This is really normal behavior for a one year old. Both of my girls did it from about 12 months to 16 months, DD2 is just coming out of it. My pediatrician reminds us that once they get past one, they may not be as hungry every day, so some days they will eat a lot and some days they will eat a little. I continue to give the kids the food I am cooking and they move on eventually. As for the throwing food, I only give my kids two or three bites at a time at that age. I cut everything up and keep it on a plate by me and then give them a couple of bites as they finish. That way, if they decide to throw the food, they throw two bites on the floor, no big deal. Once food starts being thrown I say "Okay, I think you are telling me you are done" and I take the food away.

yes what she said! Only offer a few bites at a time ... if they get tossed say ok, you're all done? Take them out of the high chair. If they are hungry they will come back and want to eat. Don't just give in and give him the bananas and cheerios because he didn't eat what you offered for a meal.

[HannaAddict]

Totally normal and this too will probably pass, just not necessarily right away. It is maddening though. Mine decided she didn't like things she used to love at age 6! I'd relax and keep offering and surviving on Cheerios and bananas isn't too bad!

[HannaAddict]

yes what she said! Only offer a few bites at a time ... if they get tossed say ok, you're all done? Take them out of the high chair. If they are hungry they will come back and want to eat. Don't just give in and give him the bananas and cheerios because he didn't eat what you offered for a meal.

I disagree and would definitely not get into a food battle with a one year old. The people I known IRL (my day's wife's kids and their children) take that route and have the most picky eaters and tension about food from the toddlers to the 45 year old son who eats like a toddler himself but tries to force his children to eat. This is normal, and a one year old can't reason. I would not let a toddler or in this case a baby refuse meals, when they will eat a fruit or veggie and cereal. I wouldn't offer Cheetos but I would Cheerios and I can't imagine any pediatrician suggesting withholding food from a one year old to "make him eat."