Formal long black dress suggestions?

[elektra]

I want to start looking for the dress I will wear to a wedding I will be in in a few months. I will be walking my brother down the aisle in his wedding in a Jewish ceremony, filling in for my mom, as she is unable to travel to the ceremony due to her long term illness. Sniff.
So I guess I technically need a "mother of the groom" dress, and want to look appropriately covered and such, but I also don't want to look 60 years old either.
I haven't really started looking. Where should I start? Nordstrom?
I also don't exactly know what might be appropriate, as I have actually never even attended a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony.
I am going to have SIL/bride give her thumbs up or thumbs down before I actually purchase anything but any guidance on nuances of attire in a Jewish ceremony in Israel for a mother of the groom would be much appreciated as well!
Thanks!

[AnnieW625]

Macy's in Brea has some nice ones (I was just there on Sunday), but I haven't checked Macy's at South Coast, but was at Nordstrom at South Coast last week and has some nice dresses as well. They had some black and navy option as well that wouldn't have really struck me as mother of the groom dresses. Most of the dresses had at least a cap sleeve so not sleeveless. I was looking for a not so formal dress for my brother's engagement party, but found lots of potential dresses to wear to his wedding next fall (although I'd probably end up altering some of the longer ones if I liked the style better to make them shorter, big bonus was they had a lot that were under $300, and a lot of those were still under $200).

Hopefully SwissAir81 will see this.

[lizzywednesday]

How observant is her family? And do they expect you to dress according to their custom or are they OK with you following your own custom? It kind of changes the types of dresses I would suggest.

For my college friends' (Orthodox) wedding, I wore a strapless dress topped by a velvet blazer so their grandmothers wouldn't talk ... also, I would have felt quite out of place if I hadn't dressed at least passingly modestly. It was not necessarily expected that I cover my shoulders (etc.), but I know that it would have made some of my friends' relatives (and, frankly, some of my friends!) uncomfortable, so I modified things to suit what I had in my closet.

However, since you're filling in for your mother, I would suggest leaning towards "modest" ... which can be VERY pretty and trend-forward nowadays!

Anyway, I did a quick look-see at Nordie's and came up with these:

(1) http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/adrianna-papell-layered-chiffon-lace-gown-regular-petite/3441314?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=Charcoal&resultback=0&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-1_1_B (unfortunately, it only seems to be available in charcoal or navy)

(2) http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/adrianna-papell-embellished-mesh-gown/3586080?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=3078&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-1_8_C (pricey and probably heavy; lots of beading ... but lovely!)

(3) http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/patra-metallic-lace-jersey-gown/3587370?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=1938&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-1_6_A (neckline might be an issue, but you can do a lot with a camisole!)

Macy's had this:

(4) http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/xscape-sleeveless-metallic-lace-draped-gown-and-jacket?ID=926661&CategoryID=5449&LinkType=#fn=DRESS_OCCASION%3DEvening/Formal%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D250%26ruleId%3D74%26slotId %3D5

Hope this helps!

[ilfaith]

Since I am guessing your brother is not Jewish, I am going to presume that the bride's family is probably not orthodox, which makes the level of modesty similar to what you would wear to any wedding here in the US. If they are getting married in a synagogue, I would suggest that you keep your shoulders and upper arms covered, at least for the ceremony. For my wedding my mother wore a sleeveless dress with a wrap, and for my brother's she wore a strapless dress with a jacket.

Israeli women do tend to be very fashionable, even the ones who dress modestly do so with flair. I suppose the main thing to consider is the formality of the wedding. Will it be in the daytime or evening? I love the Nordstrom dresses posted above, and think any of them would be appropriate for a formal evening affair. Does the dress need to be black, or all black?

[elektra]

Thanks for all the suggestions. My brother is not Jewish, and his wife's family is not orthodox. I am not sure how "traditional" the ceremony will be actually. SIL's immediate family is not very religious, although I know other extended family members are and have varying levels of observance. I think the ceremony will be outside, in the evening, so not in a synagogue. I think they had a hard time fining a rabbi that would do the ceremony actually since my brother is not Jewish, but they got that part sorted out. I think they reason they want the ceremony there is not because of the religious part so much but because SIL grew up there and most of her family still lives there outside of her parents and sister. And while she is not particularly religious, and is not marrying a Jewish person, I know being Jewish and Israeli are extremely important to her, so that is where we are having the wedding. :)
So I think she wants it all black but some lace or other black embellishments are ok (I think!)
I was wondering about arm coverings too because I know some Catholic priests have issues with that too, at least for the bride and bridesmaids.
I would love to find that balance of looking fab, but also not looking like I'm trying to upstage the bride (I could never upstage her though, because A) I think all brides are gorgeous, B) and this one in particular will be stunning IMO!), while also being properly modest for a wedding in a country I am not familiar with as far as wedding customs. :)

[sariana]

I like the Macy's dress lizzywednesday posted!

[boolady]

While I agree that you want to look appropriate, I don't think you need to try and wear a dress that a mother of the groom would wear. I think you can find something that is not too revealing, but is age-appropriate and reflects your style.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/tadashi-shoji-textured-lace-mermaid-gown-regular-petite/3452181?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=690&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-undefined_2_A (http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/tadashi-shoji-textured-lace-mermaid-gown-regular-petite/3452181?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=690&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-undefined_2_A)

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/bcbgmaxazria-mixed-lace-gown/3562915?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=7901&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-undefined_21_D


http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/tadashi-shoji-foil-print-detail-jersey-gown/3554032?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=4903&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-undefined_15_C

I'm still looking. :)

[boolady]

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/laundry-by-shelli-segal-bead-trim-jersey-blouson-gown/3351323?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=BLACK&resultback=6689&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-undefined_20_D

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/kay-unger-bonded-lace-gown/3611103?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=4003&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-undefined_13_C

[mommylamb]

While I agree that you want to look appropriate, I don't think you need to try and wear a dress that a mother of the groom would wear. I think you can find something that is not too revealing, but is age-appropriate and reflects your style.

(http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/tadashi-shoji-textured-lace-mermaid-gown-regular-petite/3452181?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=690&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-undefined_2_A)

:yeahthat:

You have a good relationship with SIL-to-be. Can you just check with her to see if there are any limitations as to what is appropriate and then go from there?

[elektra]

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/laundry-by-shelli-segal-bead-trim-jersey-blouson-gown/3351323?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=BLACK&resultback=6689&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-undefined_20_D


I really like this one, especially because it has that little sparkly trim to make it fancier. I will have to ask her about the lace ones to see if she prefers more solid, because I do like those too.

[Kindra178]

While I agree that you want to look appropriate, I don't think you need to try and wear a dress that a mother of the groom would wear. I think you can find something that is not too revealing, but is age-appropriate and reflects your style.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/tadashi-shoji-textured-lace-mermaid-gown-regular-petite/3452181?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=690&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-undefined_2_A (http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/tadashi-shoji-textured-lace-mermaid-gown-regular-petite/3452181?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=690&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-undefined_2_A)

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/bcbgmaxazria-mixed-lace-gown/3562915?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=7901&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-undefined_21_D


http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/tadashi-shoji-foil-print-detail-jersey-gown/3554032?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=4903&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-undefined_15_C

I'm still looking. :)

Love these. E, you would rock that Tadashi mermaid dress!

[BabyBearsMom]

What about somethign from Rent the Runway:
http://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/erinerinfetherston_dresses/suchillusiongown
http://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/nicolemiller_dresses/temptedyougown
http://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/bibhumohapatra_dresses/comehithergown

[elektra]

:yeahthat:

You have a good relationship with SIL-to-be. Can you just check with her to see if there are any limitations as to what is appropriate and then go from there?


:) I think I will forward a few of these to her and just ask her about the lace or the modesty stuff, and her opinion in general.

[boolady]

You can tell me when I am getting too annoying (ETA: and I may already be there). I just think this is fun.

http://www.neimanmarcus.com/BCBGMAXAZRIA-Fitted-Lace-Stripe-Gown/prod161100025_cat48730734__/p.prod?icid=&searchType=EndecaDrivenCat&rte=%252Fcategory.service%253FitemId%253Dcat487307 34%2526pageSize%253D30%2526No%253D360%2526refineme nts%253D717%252C&eItemId=prod161100025&cmCat=product (http://www.neimanmarcus.com/BCBGMAXAZRIA-Fitted-Lace-Stripe-Gown/prod161100025_cat48730734__/p.prod?icid=&searchType=EndecaDrivenCat&rte=%252Fcategory.service%253FitemId%253Dcat487307 34%2526pageSize%253D30%2526No%253D360%2526refineme nts%253D717%252C&eItemId=prod161100025&cmCat=product)

Only a few left of this one, but I like it.

http://www.neimanmarcus.com/David-Meister-Seamed-Fit-and-Flare-Halter-Gown/prod157770117_cat48730734__/p.prod?icid=&searchType=EndecaDrivenCat&rte=%252Fcategory.service%253FitemId%253Dcat487307 34%2526pageSize%253D30%2526No%253D390%2526refineme nts%253D717%252C&eItemId=prod157770117&cmCat=product

[elektra]

These are some really pretty dresses! SIB2B said this was her favorite:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/tadashi-shoji-textured-lace-mermaid-gown-regular-petite/3452181?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=690&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-undefined_2_A

I am really liking it too. I will keep looking to see if I find anything else and maybe try some on on Nordstrom if I can over the next few weeks.
She said that modesty wasn't a concern so that is good. I mean I won't be going for any crazy plunging necklines like the J. Lo Oscars dress or anything (can you imagine?!) but it will be nice to know that anything I would normally wear is probably fine.

[mommylamb]

That one is really beautiful.

[TxCat]

These are some really pretty dresses! SIB2B said this was her favorite:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/tadashi-shoji-textured-lace-mermaid-gown-regular-petite/3452181?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=690&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-undefined_2_A

I am really liking it too. I will keep looking to see if I find anything else and maybe try some on on Nordstrom if I can over the next few weeks.
She said that modesty wasn't a concern so that is good. I mean I won't be going for any crazy plunging necklines like the J. Lo Oscars dress or anything (can you imagine?!) but it will be nice to know that anything I would normally wear is probably fine.

A good friend from college is sort of how you describe your SIL. She had a second wedding in Israel (first was in SF), and I remember her sending me links of bridal couture in Israel - it was very trendy and they were not afraid of showing skin at all!

I think the Laundry dress is my favorite so far.

Some more ideas:

http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374306 422140&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446537080&R=628710660194&P_name=ML+Monique+Lhuillier&N=306422140+4294929607&bmUID=k9NwFWz

http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374306 422140&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446574844&R=628710693604&P_name=ML+Monique+Lhuillier&N=306422140+4294929607&bmUID=k9NxEG7

http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374306 422140&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446615921&R=887873075195&P_name=Aidan+Mattox&N=306422140+4294929607&bmUID=k9NxEC9

http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374306 422140&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446637043&R=744330004382&P_name=Carmen+Marc+Valvo&N=306422140+4294929607&bmUID=k9NxEEQ

http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374306 422140&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446637667&R=749200117933&P_name=Herve+Leger&N=306422140+4294929607&bmUID=k9NxEFj


http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374306 422140&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446634119&R=883879459168&P_name=Tadashi+Shoji&N=306422140+4294929607&bmUID=k9NxEHW


http://www.shopbop.com/neck-sleeveless-gown-issa/vp/v=1/1500175906.htm?folderID=2534374302204905&fm=other-shopbysize-viewall&colorId=12867

[AnnieW625]

I like the Tadashi one as well, but a few of the other ones as well like the Papell one that LizzyWednesday linked to, which I am pretty sure I did see in person and it is really pretty.