Love this - How to Talk to Your Daughter About Her Body

[Twoboos]

I need to have MIL read this before we visit. She looooves talking about weight and looks and who is fat and diets and who is pretty or if someone's ears stick out. And how lucky we are that DDs are slim and that they won't need surgery to pin their ears back. Seriously.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sarah-koppelkam/body-image_b_3678534.html

[arivecchi]

I think this was posted here already, but I could not agree more. My mom is obsessed with weight and it is such a rude thing to talk about, but of course, she gets all offended when we tell her she is being rude by commenting on people's weight. Um, what?!

[elbenn]

Great article! Thanks for sharing!

[Twoboos]

I think this was posted here already, but I could not agree more. My mom is obsessed with weight and it is such a rude thing to talk about, but of course, she gets all offended when we tell her she is being rude by commenting on people's weight. Um, what?!

Totally know this! MIL was grilling me on how much weight SIL (not her daughter mind you, my brother's wife) gained or lost since having her babies. I refused to answer and she kept asking and asking. "What you haven't talked about it?!" Um yes we have, and in fact it's none of your beeswax! I finally said, "Oh, that's an interesting question, why do you ask?" and she was all kinds of offended and claimed she was just making conversation. Then I was deemed a bitch. Whatever.

Sorry if it's already been posted - I must have missed it the first time.

[BabyBearsMom]

Great article thanks for posting. We are really big on complimenting DD1 on how strong she is and how healthy she is. She is very slim but I don't talk about it in front of her, as I don't want her to be self conscious about it. My mom was on a diet as long as I can remember and I feel like I am just now starting to break the unhealthy relationship with food that I developed from watching her.

[citymama]

Thanks so much for sharing. Really good food for thought.

[bisous]

You know, I've already been feeling this way, but I like the way the article summarizes and collects these thoughts. I'm forwarding this to DH. Our little girl is just two weeks old and already he keeps calling her "beautiful". That's certainly not a bad thing, I just don't want her to grow up feeling that looks are that important. Of course, calling a newborn "strong" or "smart" or "kind" is also a little silly. Still, I intend to start right with this little one. Hopefully she'll grow up blissfully unaware of societal expectations for women and will instead reach her potential as an incredible human!

[Mopey]

Another thanks for this - what a clear path to follow! It's been confusing for me as my mom picked so my sis and I don't (and so I wasn't sure of what to say on the positive side). Mopey may be very thin like her Dad or chubby like me and no matter what I want her to feel good and strong. My hubby already read this and we are forwarding it on to the Grands.

PS - Bisous, thank you for that. I call Mopey "beautiful girl" all the time, as a term of endearment. Lately as her face gets more girly/grown up looking I realize she could be quite beautiful in reality and also realize that I don't want her to always associate that either. Phew! So much to think about!

[elektra]

Good little read. Even though I do already try to focus on eating healthy so our bodies are strong and such (as opposed to skinny or beautiful), I know I do make comments on my appearance that I probably shouldn't.

[georgiegirl]

Thanks for sharing! I've been very good with DD about the whole body image thing. She's 7.5 and about 6 months ago, she asked me what a diet is. Glad she went so long before hearing that word. I'm kind of crazy since I won't let her do certain sports/activities that are associated with body image issues, mainly ballet, gymnastics, and cheerleading, She's a swimmer, and I feel like that sport promotes a healthy body image, DH and especially the ILs focus on appearance. MIL always comments on people's weights and it drives me nuts. She's always telling DD how pretty she is. I always respond with something like, "well, what I like best about DD is that she's kind and a hard worker." My maternal grandma was HORRIBLE about making comments to us and that's one reason why I'm so anal about it. When I was a teenager, she commented, "you have such a nice figure, why don't you have a boyfriend?" I flat out told her that I wouldn't want a boyfriend who liked me for my nice figure.