Dress for my son's Bar Mitzvah--update

[lmintzer]

The Bar Mitzvah was this past Saturday. It was an amazing day! I am usually the family photograher, so I don't have too many pix yet (still waiting on professional photos). But here is one a friend snapped of me and my mom. (Hope my mom wouldn't care that I am posting it). I wore the lace shawl for the bimah pictures with the torah and for the service itself. I left it off the rest of the time.
http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g316/lmintzer/IMG_6283_zps7ce28feb.jpg (http://s59.photobucket.com/user/lmintzer/media/IMG_6283_zps7ce28feb.jpg.html)

**********************************************

I can't believe I'm even typing "my son's Bar Mitzvah." Makes me feel so OLD!

Anyway, Jack will be celebrating his Bar Mitzvah in April. My mom was in town over T-giving, and we went dress shopping. We only had a few hours, but we scoured some of the major department stores.

Our colors (for the party and the invite) will be royal blue with a hint of lime green. I was thinking that we would try to coordinate clothing colors, as a family, for pictures. I like to wear blue, so I was thinking of a solid blue dress for me.

My challenge is that I am trying to find 1 dress that will work for both the religious service (morning) and the rececption (immediately following). If we were having an evening party, that would make things simpler clothing-wise. I would just change into a cocktail dress. However, for the service, I have to be a little more modestly dress. Though our synagogue is Reform, I should cover my shoulders, make sure I am not wearing anything at all low cut or too short.

Many women seem to wear suits (and often in pale or dark color) for the service and then just keep them on for the party, but I really don't want to do this. There is no rule against dresses--nor against color.

So here is what I found--it is a Tadashi dress. It IS admittedly very bright. (The see-through lace part looks less see-through on me--maybe it was the light they were using?) Also, it is way longer on me than it is on this model--in fact, I have to see if it's possible to shorten it some so that it just hits my knee.

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g316/lmintzer/_93_-6L1460MX_MARINA_zpsc114b766.jpg (http://s59.photobucket.com/user/lmintzer/media/_93_-6L1460MX_MARINA_zpsc114b766.jpg.html)

[lovin2shop]

Very pretty, I like it!

[SnuggleBuggles]

My only hang up with it is the exposed leg but if it's not that obvious on you, I think it's beautiful. I guess my other concern is it could be a smidge on the sexy side owing to the curve hugging nature.

[Staraglimmer]

That is a beautiful dress. I think it is modest enough for the ceremony, fun enough for the party, and will look good in the pictures. Great find!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk (http://tapatalk.com/m?id=1)

[lmintzer]

I bought the dress in my current size. Hoping to lose a few pounds and then it will fit a bit looser. : )

Since I'm bringing to a tailor, I plan to ask about whether I should (or could) line the leg all the way down if needed. We'll see.

My mom thought it was fine. But then again, I tend to dress more conservatively than she does.

[lmintzer]

I can't find the dress I bought anywhere online. I was hoping to find it in a petite, so I checked Tadashi's website. It appears to be in their Spring 2014 lineup. I also saw this dress (with ¾ sleeves, flared skirt). I e-mailed them to see if I could order it from anywhere to try. But haven't heard back yet. I am a little wary of long sleeves, as I tend to get hot easily--especially when excited or stressed, which I'm sure I'll be.

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g316/lmintzer/_92_-6L1442M_MYSTIC-BLUE_zpsff1d7527.jpg (http://s59.photobucket.com/user/lmintzer/media/_92_-6L1442M_MYSTIC-BLUE_zpsff1d7527.jpg.html)

[diamond]

Beautiful dress, I love it. Where did you get the dress? Online or BM? How much it cost. Ty

[lmintzer]

Beautiful dress, I love it. Where did you get the dress? Online or BM? How much it cost. Ty

It was at Neiman Marcus. (I never shop there--only when I'm with my mom, lol). I am a bit embarrassed to say what I paid. : ( I am still hoping maybe it will go on sale! It was $349.

ETA--I can't find the 2nd dress I posted (with the longer sleeves) anywhere yet. Not sure how the fashion industry works--I would imagine pieces labeled "Spring 2014" will be coming out showing up in stores over the next few months?

[erosenst]

Gorgeous dress. Only suggestion - between the lighting on the bimah and the pictures, very likely it could be more 'see through' than you would like. Your tailor should be able to line, and it will still be gorgeous. You *might* want to buy one size up while it's available in case they need a little extra room for the lining, and then to let it be totally tailored, rather than hoping to lose a couple pounds in your existing size. (I've done this a few times for special events and always been very happy to have spent the money.)

[lmintzer]

Gorgeous dress. Only suggestion - between the lighting on the bimah and the pictures, very likely it could be more 'see through' than you would like. Your tailor should be able to line, and it will still be gorgeous. You *might* want to buy one size up while it's available in case they need a little extra room for the lining, and then to let it be totally tailored, rather than hoping to lose a couple pounds in your existing size. (I've done this a few times for special events and always been very happy to have spent the money.)


Thanks. I think I will look into having it lined. I didn't mean to say that's small in my size. It really fits perfectly (and, if anything, is a bit big in the shoulders). What I meant was that if I lost weight, it would be a looser look.

[ilfaith]

I love both dresses, but love the first one you posted a little more. I do agree that you might look into putting in some sort of lining...I think if the lining came down a few inches so just the bottom lace "stripe" was sheer, it would seem more temple appropriate. You might also consider a jacket for the service that could be removed for the party immediately following.

I have a few years before we begin the bar mitzvah circuit...but I love Tadashi dresses, and would wear either one you selected.

[AnnieW625]

TBH I like the first dress better than the second dress. I have only ever been to a really casual backyard small family and friends Bat Mitzvah party (for one of the kids I used to baby sit) so I don't know about what to wear and not what to wear to a Bar Mitzvah, but I think the first dress is fine.

[lmintzer]

One other thought--I know how to knit so could knit myself a bolero jacket or shrug. That way I could try to match the color--or maybe bring a bit of another color in?). However, I'm not sure how a sweater would look with this neckline.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Any reason you feel a need for a sweater? I think it would really detract from the pretty, simple dress.

[specialp]

I think a sweater would be out of place. If you felt it necessary, you could buy a wrap try to coordinate, not necessarily match, but I wouldn't do a sweater. If it were me and I was worried about it, I would rather just keep looking for a dress that comes with a wrap or jacket rather than worry about if I am conservative enough. That's me when I am having to attend a wedding at a place where I am a little unsure. I have never been to a Bar Mitzvah, but I do think the dress is beautiful and like a PP said, if the lining came down a smidge more, I think it would be perfectly appropriate. Of course, if it is running that long on you so that you have to have it taken up, it might not be an issue.

[lmintzer]

I think a sweater would be out of place. If you felt it necessary, you could buy a wrap try to coordinate, not necessarily match, but I wouldn't do a sweater. If it were me and I was worried about it, I would rather just keep looking for a dress that comes with a wrap or jacket rather than worry about if I am conservative enough. That's me when I am having to attend a wedding at a place where I am a little unsure. I have never been to a Bar Mitzvah, but I do think the dress is beautiful and like a PP said, if the lining came down a smidge more, I think it would be perfectly appropriate. Of course, if it is running that long on you so that you have to have it taken up, it might not be an issue.

No, I don't think I NEED a sweater. The rule of thumb is just to have your shoulders covered, and they definitely are. So I can probably skip that. I really don't want anything long sleeve, as I get hot easily. I probably will be just fine in this--just over-thinking as usual. : )

[lmintzer]

So, I let the dress sit in my closet for a while--and I'm still really liking it. Haven't found anything else I am as taken with. I brought it back to the store where I bought it and talked to the seamstress. They are going to contact Tadashi and see if they can get a piece of the lining to use to cover the higher section of lace on the bottom of the dress. I'm fine with having the lowest section as more see-through--I think covering it would detract from the look. Hopefully, Tadashi can provide--and won't decide to charge and arm and a leg--because the alterations alone are going to be expensive. Hemming from the top of a lace section like that can't be easy.

The plan is for the dress to fall lower on me--to the middle to bottom of my knee.



I can't believe I'm even typing "my son's Bar Mitzvah." Makes me feel so OLD!

Anyway, Jack will be celebrating his Bar Mitzvah in April. My mom was in town over T-giving, and we went dress shopping. We only had a few hours, but we scoured some of the major department stores.

Our colors (for the party and the invite) will be royal blue with a hint of lime green. I was thinking that we would try to coordinate clothing colors, as a family, for pictures. I like to wear blue, so I was thinking of a solid blue dress for me.

My challenge is that I am trying to find 1 dress that will work for both the religious service (morning) and the rececption (immediately following). If we were having an evening party, that would make things simpler clothing-wise. I would just change into a cocktail dress. However, for the service, I have to be a little more modestly dress. Though our synagogue is Reform, I should cover my shoulders, make sure I am not wearing anything at all low cut or too short.

Many women seem to wear suits (and often in pale or dark color) for the service and then just keep them on for the party, but I really don't want to do this. There is no rule against dresses--nor against color.

So here is what I found--it is a Tadashi dress. It IS admittedly very bright. (The see-through lace part looks less see-through on me--maybe it was the light they were using?) Also, it is way longer on me than it is on this model--in fact, I have to see if it's possible to shorten it some so that it just hits my knee.

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g316/lmintzer/_93_-6L1460MX_MARINA_zpsc114b766.jpg (http://s59.photobucket.com/user/lmintzer/media/_93_-6L1460MX_MARINA_zpsc114b766.jpg.html)

[HannaAddict]

Great dress and I've been to many bar and bar mitzvahs and it looks perfect. I think the lace in the hem is so low it isn't scandalous at all and I would not describe the dress as sexy, it fits like a dress, not figure hugging in a sexy way. The model is 5'11" and a size 2 or 4 and twisted sideways with a come hither look, but the dress is entirely appropriate. I would have it altered to fit you and have fun and enjoy the day. Now, what shoes? :)

[lmintzer]

Great dress and I've been to many bar and bar mitzvahs and it looks perfect. I think the lace in the hem is so low it isn't scandalous at all and I would not describe the dress as sexy, it fits like a dress, not figure hugging in a sexy way. The model is 5'11" and a size 2 or 4 and twisted sideways with a come hither look, but the dress is entirely appropriate. I would have it altered to fit you and have fun and enjoy the day. Now, what shoes? :)

Yes, the model and I have a very different look, lol. (I am 5'2" and a curvy size 6--not 5'11 and a waify size 2/4!). And I am definitely not one to pose with a come hither look (lol). I am more conservative and shy about how I look, so I think that comes through.

When the dress was pinned up to hit me at the knee, the lace was a bit high, but if altered, will look fine.

I am thinking nude shoes. Pumps? Open toed? I don't like to wear anything too high--maybe 2.5 inches. It will be the end of April in Philadelphia, so weather could be as nice as 70 or as chilly as in the 40s. It's hard to know.

[drexlerlk]

This dress is gorgeous, and I think it would be perfect with a little extra lining for the skirt. My son's bar mitzvah is coming up in May. It's my younger son's, actually, which makes me extra old :) I love the dress that you posted, and I would love to try to find it for myself! I looked on the Tadashi website and on the Nieman Marcus website, but neither one is showing it :( Do have an exact name for the dress, so that I can try to do a better search, or any links you can send me? It would be much appreciated. Mazel tov on your son's big day!

[lmintzer]

Hi Drexlerlk. It was not easy to find. Saw it on the rack at Neiman's but nowhere else. I did find it on the Tadashi website under the "Spring 2014" collection. Here it is: http://www.tadashishoji.com/collection/spring-2014-collection . The description reads: Pintuck Jersey and Embroidered Lace Cap Sleeve Sheath Dress With Sheer Lace Detail (color is Marina). ETA: I have had much drama with alterations, though. The lining went in well, but the the seamstress had to open up the whole dress to take in the back a little bit. When I got it back, I realized the blue "lines" didn't line up right, so I had to get it taken apart yet again (probably not great for the dress). Everything now lines but, but the tailor added some skin-toned mesh material at the top of the zipper (probably lacking the blue-colored netting). It shouldn't be visible once it's on, since it skin-toned, but I am so DONE with alterations. Next dress I buy needs to just FIT!

It looks great with the added lining which covers just the bottom panel of lace. I also found a gorgeous lace wrap in almost the exact color through Etsy. https://www.etsy.com/listing/127080830/on-sale-cobalt-blue-lace-scarf-shawl . It is nice because it is small enough to just wrap around my shoulders to give me a little more coverage tuck under my arms without hanging down too far. In the back, it creates a nice triangle that ends before my waist. It looks almost like it came with the dress. I will probably wear it for the service but not for the photos. Mazel Tov on your "baby's" Bar Mitzvah, and good luck with finding a dress and planning.

[drexlerlk]

Hi Drexlerlk. It was not easy to find. Saw it on the rack at Neiman's but nowhere else. I did find it on the Tadashi website under the "Spring 2014" collection. Here it is: http://www.tadashishoji.com/collection/spring-2014-collection . The description reads: Pintuck Jersey and Embroidered Lace Cap Sleeve Sheath Dress With Sheer Lace Detail (color is Marina). ETA: I have had much drama with alterations, though. The lining went in well, but the the seamstress had to open up the whole dress to take in the back a little bit. When I got it back, I realized the blue "lines" didn't line up right, so I had to get it taken apart yet again (probably not great for the dress). Everything now lines but, but the tailor added some skin-toned mesh material at the top of the zipper (probably lacking the blue-colored netting). It shouldn't be visible once it's on, since it skin-toned, but I am so DONE with alterations. Next dress I buy needs to just FIT!

It looks great with the added lining which covers just the bottom panel of lace. I also found a gorgeous lace wrap in almost the exact color through Etsy. https://www.etsy.com/listing/127080830/on-sale-cobalt-blue-lace-scarf-shawl . It is nice because it is small enough to just wrap around my shoulders to give me a little more coverage tuck under my arms without hanging down too far. In the back, it creates a nice triangle that ends before my waist. It looks almost like it came with the dress. I will probably wear it for the service but not for the photos. Mazel Tov on your "baby's" Bar Mitzvah, and good luck with finding a dress and planning.


Thank you, lmintzer!! This is such a pretty dress, and I admit I became just a teeny bit obsessed with finding it after I saw your post. It wasn't coming up under the "shop" tab on the Tadashi website, but your link led me right to it. Naturally, it's not for sale online. But I talked to a Tadashi customer service gal, who put me through to the only store that had my size in stock.. in Las Vegas! They took my info and are mailing it out to me. I live in DC, so that would have been quite a shopping trip to undertake in person :) I am hoping that it fits well, and that I can avoid some of your alteration nightmares.

I'm sure you will look gorgeous in the dress, and all the hassle will be worth it when you look back on your photos! I'll also check out the shawl, which seems like a great option for wearing during the service. Please post a photo for us after the big day!

[lmintzer]

Thank you, lmintzer!! This is such a pretty dress, and I admit I became just a teeny bit obsessed with finding it after I saw your post. It wasn't coming up under the "shop" tab on the Tadashi website, but your link led me right to it. Naturally, it's not for sale online. But I talked to a Tadashi customer service gal, who put me through to the only store that had my size in stock.. in Las Vegas! They took my info and are mailing it out to me. I live in DC, so that would have been quite a shopping trip to undertake in person :) I am hoping that it fits well, and that I can avoid some of your alteration nightmares.

I'm sure you will look gorgeous in the dress, and all the hassle will be worth it when you look back on your photos! I'll also check out the shawl, which seems like a great option for wearing during the service. Please post a photo for us after the big day!

Drexlerlk,
Glad that you found it in Las Vegas. They are very nice at the store--I called them about something at one point on my saga. I hope yours fits nicely and that you don't have to do major surgery on it! I will definitely post a photo after the fact. Thanks for your good wishes.

[lmintzer]

Deleted--duplicate post.

[HannaAddict]

You look great. And so does your mom! Good genes. :) The dress was perfect.

[specialp]

Beautiful!

[citymama]

You both look amazing! Wow, I'm so impressed with both of your flat bellies. ;-) I agree, good genes!

Mazel tov on your son's bar mitzvah!

[123LuckyMom]

You both look absolutely beautiful!

[georgiegirl]

You look beautiful! Very flattering dress.

[MamaKath]

You look fabulous! Congrats to your son. How did our kids grow up so quickly? :)

[mattiew]

You look great - I like the dress on you better than the model!!!

[Tenasparkl]

Both you and your mom look fantastic. Congratulations to your son!

[carolinacool]

Wow! You both look great! Congrats to your DS!

[lmintzer]

Wow! You both look great! Congrats to your DS!

You ladies are too sweet. Thanks for all the compliments. And thank you to all who advised me about what to do with the dress.

[ourbabygirl]

You looked AMAZING! Love the dress; it looked fabulous on you! Can't get over how young you and your mom are/ look! :)

[ilfaith]

Love the dress. You and your mom both look fabulous. Heck, your mom barely looks old enough to be the mom of the bar mitzvah boy.

When DS3 has his bar mitzvah I'll be turning 53. Oy! I think my grandmother was in her mid 50s at my bat mitzvah.

[erosenst]

Love the dress, and you and your mom both look gorgeous.!

Sent from my phone. Please excuse typing errors I've made, and auto correct 'fixes' I missed.

[lmintzer]

Love the dress, and you and your mom both look gorgeous.!

Sent from my phone. Please excuse typing errors I've made, and auto correct 'fixes' I missed.

Thank you again! I am blushing from all your nice words. I have had a really rough year and a half, and it felt extra important to me to both look nice and experience a lot of joy on this special day. My mom has always looked fantastic. I'm sure she'd appreciate the compliments--I'll pass them on.

[AnnieW625]

Soo bummed I missed the photo of you in the dress, but I am sure everyone had a great time and you looked amazing!

[ZeeBaby]

Totally agree that both you and your mom looked fabulous. I honestly thought that was your sister.

[lmintzer]

Soo bummed I missed the photo of you in the dress, but I am sure everyone had a great time and you looked amazing!

Annie--I didn't take down the picture. I figure my mom doesn't know I posted it, and what she doesn't know won't hurt her. It is in the very first post (in as an edit).

[AnnieW625]

Oops, I was just antsy and the photo was taking too long to load, I guess. You both look lovely!