Opposite Sex Pediatrician

[bisous]

Do you switch at a certain age? Our ped is a woman and I LOVE her. She is the best and what's even better is that we know each other and trust each other. DS1 is 10 yo now and I'm wondering if I should switch. I would only do this to make him more comfortable at appointments and for no other reason, otherwise I'm completely satisfied with my ped. I've seen plenty of male physicians over the years and I'm over being uncomfortable about it but I'm not a tween! Should I ask her about it? She's part of a huge group (Kaiser) so she could provide recommendations or add her perspective. WWYD?

[crl]

I wouldn't switch unless my kid indicated he was uncomfortable. Dh prefers female doctors and always has.

Catherine

[BunnyBee]

I wouldn't switch unless my kid indicated he was uncomfortable. Dh prefers female doctors and always has.

Catherine

I agree. DH prefers female doctors too. Smaller hands. LOL. Not an issue for a teen, but I'd be worried I'd make an impression that female doctors are somehow less preferable or acceptable.

[JBaxter]

I can say once my boys hit the teen years they would have been very uncomfortable w/ a female DR. We avoided the female PA's/ NP's at the practice for physicals.

[lalasmama]

I've worked in clinics for over 15 years now. Personally, I've had male and female doctors. DD has had only female doctors since she came to live with me 7 years ago. Originally, my reasoning was two-fold: (1) I picked a doctor that I had worked with when she was a resident, and (2) there were some abuse issues in DD's biological home done by a male, and DD was showing some inappropriate behaviors toward men. I didn't want her to get "confused"/traumatized if/when a doctor needed to check down there.

Now, working in pediatrics and family practice, I think once the tween years are at hand, it can be more comfortable for a patient to have a doctor of the same gender. Why? Because doctors occasionally need to look down there for development (Tanner stages tell how far into puberty a child is, and is commonly checked at physicals, along with hernia checks and such). While they may be great, a man doesn't "understand" things like uneven boobs and waiting f.o.r.e.v.e.r. for your first period as some young girls worry about. And a woman might know that genital growth can be uneven in puberty, but what 14 year old boy is going to say "is that normal?" to a woman? Some kids are always going to be boisterous and uninhibited about their body, and be fine with a doctor of the opposite gender, but others aren't. Working with that population, I was always shocked at the difference of kids from 10 on up. There were girls who would ask me all kinds of questions, knowing that the doctor would be a man and they were scared/embarrassed to ask him. The doctor would walk out and say the child hasn't started her period, reports no hair growth, etc., when the girl herself had just told me the exact opposite, but was too embarrassed to discuss such things with a male.

[JustMe]

Definitely depends on the kid and the relationship they have with the dr (assuming they already have a dr). I had a male pediatrian from 3 yrs old through the end of high school. Sure, there were things I would not discuss with him in high school...but it would have taken a really high quality female dr with enough time for that to happen anyway. However, I really loved my dr and would not have wanted to change. When I went away to college, I did change (b/c I was mostly far away).

[westwoodmom04]

We love our male ped but recently switched our 8 year old dd to a female ped in the same practice who we knew and liked. DS will continue seeing the male ped. Adolescence is such an awkward time, I won't both kids to be completely comfortable with their doctors.

[MamaSnoo]

Interestingly, medical school matriculants in the US are increasingly female, and the pediatric work-force is particularly marked by female docs emerging from training. This should not be a driver for OP's decision making for her own kids, and likely will not greatly impact the current generation of kids as there are still lots of male pedi's around at present. However, I do think that in some communities in another generation or two, one may be hard pressed to find a male pedi to see one's son. It kind of reminds me of growing up and not seeing a female MD until I was 16!

I am aware of several all-woman pediatric groups in my own community. One of which I like quite a bit, and only did not select them for my DCs because they do not see newborns at the hospital where DD was born. Now, had I chosen them, now that I have a younger DS, I would not change pedi's just to go to a group with a Y chromosome in the office.

Personally, I do not care about the gender of my own doc as an adult. I have seen plenty of good (and bad) bedside manner from both genders!

As a woman, I do kind of cringe to think that someone would refuse an appointment with me because of my gender. But, I am sure it happens all the time. I am also sensitive to the idea that kids' anxieties about their bodies and embarrassment about seeing an opposite sex healthcare provider are really not tied to our collective struggle as women for equal opportunity in education and employment.

Bottom line, if I were the OP, I would just use scheduling of the well-check each year as an opportunity to check in with DS about whether or not he is ok with a female doctor. If he is ok with it, leave it be.

[alexsmommy]

We're probably switching and it breaks me heart, I love our ped and the practice. But its four women. DS1 is in the same class as our primary peds daughter. We have carpooled with another's son when he was on my DS1's baseball team. He had some precocious puberty issues and ourprimary was wonderfully sensitive, but still, for middle school I think we are switching over to my DH's new physician. I had a male ped a few years past what I was comfortable with but because I liked him as a person I didn't speak up enough to my mother. I want DS1 to be comfortable with personal questions. I do plan on checking in with him and making sure he's being honest as I could see him not wanting to seem like he's "firing" her. He really likes her and this practice has seen us through some big medical things with him (asthma, hospitalization for pneumonia including a chest tube, and Kawasaki's).

[egoldber]

We got to a large ped practice. Since older DD was 8/9 she has asked to see a female ped because she is more comfortable discussing puberty issues with a woman.

As an adult, I don't really care.

[smilequeen]

My boys currently have a male pediatrician, but our previous ped (before moving) was female. I wouldn't even broach the subject. If my kiddo said something and felt more comfortable, I'd switch, but otherwise I wouldn't even mention it.

[TwinFoxes]

I wouldn't even broach the subject. If my kiddo said something and felt more comfortable, I'd switch, but otherwise I wouldn't even mention it.

:yeahthat: No use borrowing trouble.

[bisous]

My boys currently have a male pediatrician, but our previous ped (before moving) was female. I wouldn't even broach the subject. If my kiddo said something and felt more comfortable, I'd switch, but otherwise I wouldn't even mention it.

I think this is what I am going to do. DS1 hasn't mentioned anything. We have an appointment coming up and frankly, I'm glad it will be the ped that I know and that knows me and my family. I am hoping to get a referral to a psychologist and probably a psychiatrist to help us with some ADHD issues that seem to be getting more complicated as DS is going through school. It will be easier to work with our ped that knows us well in this instance. If he mentions that he is uncomfortable to me, I will look into finding a new doctor.

Thanks for weighing in. I really appreciate it.

[AnnieW625]

Both of my girls have seen male and female peds. . DD1 saw a male ped. from birth until she 20 months old and then she has mainly seen female doctors since then. She has told me she prefers it and started at 3 or 4 telling me so, but she knows that if she gets sick and we go in for urgent care there is no guarantee she will see a female doctor. My DD2. has seen both and has shown no preference yet.

[Corie]

At age 9, my son said he wanted to see a male doctor. His exact words, "I don't like the woman doctor touching my balls."

It wasn't a big deal though since our pediatrician's office has several male and female doctors.

[JElaineB]

DS is 11 and just had his annual exam. He has a female doc, and at the exam there was a female resident who was there as well. So he got his parts checked out twice, but two different female docs. He didn't seem to care at all. I don't anticipate needing to change doctors because of gender, but if he expresses a preference in the future we would certainly ask to switch or have a male resident available.

[Octobermommy]

We choose our physicians based on competence and gender never plays a role in that. I honestly think that switching solely b/c of gender sends a bad message to children about what is right and wrong. I don't want to teach my son to be uncomfortable with a female physician or my dd to be uncomfortable with a male physician & I think that is the message that is sent if you switch unprompted.

[westwoodmom04]

We choose our physicians based on competence and gender never plays a role in that. I honestly think that switching solely b/c of gender sends a bad message to children about what is right and wrong. I don't want to teach my son to be uncomfortable with a female physician or my dd to be uncomfortable with a male physician & I think that is the message that is sent if you switch unprompted.

I've always sought out female obs and guns, so it doesn't strike me at all strange that a child would prefer a doctor of the same gender once they were going or about to go through puberty.

[westwoodmom04]

[duplicate post

[mommylamb]

We go to a large practice and see different pediatricians, some male, some female. My kids are little, but I don't think this would even cross my mind as they got older. I wouldn't bring it up. If your DS says something about it than follow his wishes, but I wouldn't mention it barring that happening.

[123LuckyMom]

I think that's a good choice, OP. I wouldn't fix what isn't broken. My kids both see a male ped, but all the rest of the doctors in that practice are female, and on sick visits they see whoever's available. I had male peds growing up. It hadn't occurred to me to worry about DD having a male doctor. We chose him because he was the most amenable to our alternate vaccination schedule. The women in the practice were less sympathetic. I don't intend to switch unless there's a good reason.