Really MIL - you have more than 2 grandchildren

[marymoo86]

Unbelievable. MIL is trying to guilt trip DH into coming early for Christmas b/c her two favored older granddaughters don't want to wait 2 days to open presents. Well sorry. I am out of vacation days and am not traveling on Christmas day with a 3yo and 3m old - the youngest ones. They are your grandchildren too by the way not some afterthought. I don't even want to get on the road without this silliness happening. GAH!

[ArizonaGirl]

We have the same problem over here with my MIL.

Always thinking of my niece and nephew and our kids are the afterthought.

It SUCKS! (DS is beginning to notice it too...) :(

[PZMommy]

Last year my in laws got all of the grand kids gifts, except for my two boys. Their reasoning was that my parents probably got them a lot of gifts. That was fun explaining to my son why all of his cousins were opening presents that night, and he had nothing to open. This year I have purchased a couple of small things and will bring for them in case they pull that crap again. I was livid, and my DH wasn't thrilled either.

[abh5e8]

sighs. the joys of family. my dad missed both boys birthdays and told me he decided not to give christmas gifts this year. "i mean, your kids dont' need anything." yes, because that is why we celebrate...so the grandparents can give my kids all the stuff they NEED that I (their obviously incompetent parent) dont. time for more chocolate.

[Jenny_A]

Last year my in laws got all of the grand kids gifts, except for my two boys. Their reasoning was that my parents probably got them a lot of gifts. That was fun explaining to my son why all of his cousins were opening presents that night, and he had nothing to open. This year I have purchased a couple of small things and will bring for them in case they pull that crap again. I was livid, and my DH wasn't thrilled either.

:47: Oh my gosh, WHO does that?!

[PZMommy]

:47: Oh my gosh, WHO does that?!

The same people who live 15 minutes away from us, but have only seen my boys less than ten times because we live too far away. Meanwhile my parents who live across the country have flown out here to visit them more often. I could spend hours telling stories, but I will save that for a separate BP.

[marymoo86]

Last year my in laws got all of the grand kids gifts, except for my two boys. Their reasoning was that my parents probably got them a lot of gifts. That was fun explaining to my son why all of his cousins were opening presents that night, and he had nothing to open. This year I have purchased a couple of small things and will bring for them in case they pull that crap again. I was livid, and my DH wasn't thrilled either.


:47: Oh my gosh, WHO does that?!

OMG! I couldn't even imagine that happening. I am so sorry.

Luckily DH called out his mom and asked her if his brother was okay (with his 2 kids younger) waiting why was it not okay for the older kids? He has in the past just not engaged on this but he did this time. Guess it got too much.


The same people who live 15 minutes away from us, but have only seen my boys less than ten times because we live too far away. Meanwhile my parents who live across the country have flown out here to visit them more often. I could spend hours telling stories, but I will save that for a separate BP.

[tabegle]

My parents are the ones that snub my kids over the other grand kids at Christmastime. My parents live about 5 minutes away from my brother and every year for Christmas, my parents go over and watch the kids open their Santa haul. When I finally had kids, and went to visit my parents, 1) we weren't invited to my brother's place for the annual tradition (I thought it would be nice if I could bring the Santa haul there) and 2) my parents were not at all interested (and still aren't) in watching my kids open their presents from Santa even when we spend the night there and wake up Christmas morning at their house. They are napping from having gotten up so early to see my brother's kids. It hurts every year.

[newnana]

My parents are the ones that snub my kids over the other grand kids at Christmastime. My parents live about 5 minutes away from my brother and every year for Christmas, my parents go over and watch the kids open their Santa haul. When I finally had kids, and went to visit my parents, 1) we weren't invited to my brother's place for the annual tradition (I thought it would be nice if I could bring the Santa haul there) and 2) my parents were not at all interested (and still aren't) in watching my kids open their presents from Santa even when we spend the night there and wake up Christmas morning at their house. They are napping from having gotten up so early to see my brother's kids. It hurts every year.

This is exactly why we insist on Christmas morning at our house. DH put his foot down the year DD was born and said now that we had a kiddo, our little family had to come first. I was mortified at first, but also relieved since it meant at least 5 hours in the car for a miserable holiday between 2 families would just be eliminated. Anybody else is welcome to join us if they choose (though 99% of the time they don't), but they all know where we'll be Christmas morning. There is too much drama on both sides of our families to foresee having a pleasant Christmas otherwise and he desperately wanted DD to have fond memories of waking up in her bed Christmas morning. I never thought it would be as successful as it has been and am so grateful he was so adamant about it, because I never would have been and it never would have occurred to me that it didn't have to be miserable.

I'm sorry for everybody having to go through anything like that!!!! Huge hugs for a good holiday!

[janine]

The same people who live 15 minutes away from us, but have only seen my boys less than ten times because we live too far away. Meanwhile my parents who live across the country have flown out here to visit them more often. I could spend hours telling stories, but I will save that for a separate BP.

Shocking. I have crappy IL's too - I say their loss and how about not seeing the "unfavored" grandchildren at all? Problem solved for all!

[Nooknookmom]

:47: Oh my gosh, WHO does that?!

My mil would! She is in the same camp...I swear she's bi polar. Hates my parents bc they DO send the kids things. They also manage to stay active in their lives and live on the other coast! My girls area super close to them.
Mil moved two states away so she could "spend the holidays with us more" gag. It was just to be in the southwest so she could be a cowboy "NO I'm not joking-made her hubby - who she married for $ after DH's dad passed) dress like one complete with hat, boots and bolero!

She asked our oldest he other day "if we send presents to her "other grandmother?" She won't call my mom by name....and proceeded to say how her loaded hubby's spoiled boys ask them to send a list of what they (mil!) want for Christmas!!! Expecting us to ask! Hmmm. NOT!

She always favors DH's little bro's DD who is 18 the same age as our oldest. DD1 ALWAYS got sad bc she noticed how mil treated one over he other. :(. Dd2 now notices and I don't say anything, she just picked up the behavior....smart 6 yo.

I would never ever treat my kids children like that!!!!!

[hellokitty]

{{{HUGS}}} to all of you dealing with crappy parents or in laws, esp during this time of yr when we all strive for a, "normal" relationship. Unfortunately, "normal" to us means drama from both sets of parents. Next yr, my parents are moving closer to my brother, who is almost 8 hours away. They are signed a contract to build a 5000 sq ft house (why a retired couple needs a house that big, yeah, I know), and they keep gloating on and on about how, we can visit them for every holiday, since they will have room for us. They don't plan to furnish ANY of the bedrooms, other than their own, so we will be expected to sleep on the floor or air mattress, and no I don't mind sleeping in those situations when someone is short on space, but to make the choice to NOT furnish bedrooms of a house, really rubs me the wrong way, it is just out of cheapness, and it's especially crappy, b/c they make it sound like they are providing five star accomodations. My DH has a crappy work schedule and I have school aged kids, I just don't forsee us visiting them more than maybe once a yr, but it is crazy to me that they are already laying on the guilt. "We bought a big house, so when you come to visit, you have somewhere to stay." This is what they said, when all of us questioned their sanity for building a 5000 sq ft house. Yeah, it's all OUR fault, that they had to get such a big house. We could stay at my brother's place, and my parents could have been sane and gotten a small condo. My other brother who also live about 7 hrs away, doesn't plan to visit my parents much either, and they are already laying on the guilt on him too. These are ppl who currently live less than an hour from us, and see my kids only a handful of times each yr. My dad has refused to come to my kids' birthday parties, just because he didn't feel like it. They would rather go golfing with friends, than see their grandkids, but now they think that they are entitled to us having to visit them for every holiday, for an almost 8 hr drive, when they basically suck at being grandparents now, who have easy access to their grandkids? Yeah, next yr will be fun, we will be hassled all the time for not visiting them (and as you can guess, it's not pleasant visiting them, my father is a jerk). It will be interesting to me to see if they spend more time with my nephew who they are moving closer to, seeing how my dad only sees my kids for like 6 hrs total each yr. I know plenty of grandparents who live across the other side of the country that see their grandkids more often than my parents and my in laws do (in laws live an hr away and are also very uninvolved, yet do a lot of guilting).