How would you address this with teacher/lunch aide?

[alootikki]

DD started full-day kindergarten this year, and it's been a struggle to get her to eat a good/filling lunch at school. She's a slow eater, who gets distracted looking around at other kids, and on top of that - prefers a hot meal to easily packable things like sandwiches. Last year in morning Pre-K, I would pack lunch but it would rarely get eaten - she would just come home and eat a full meal then. DD has lost a little weight since starting K, and I partially attribute that to the fact that she's eating fewer calories at one of her main meals during the school week. Anyway - all of this background is to say that when I pack her lunch, I'm packing things I think she will eat, and just want to get calories in and sustain her for the school day - I focus on fruits/veggies when she's home!

Today I sent mac and cheese in a thermos, and a slice of homemade banana bread with cream cheese. DD told me that her teacher's assistant (who helps throughout the day, not just at lunch) told her that she couldn't have the banana bread until she finished the mac and cheese. So she only finished half of her macaroni, and didn't eat any of the banana bread.

This is a small incident, but I'd like to nicely let the assistant know that I don't care what order she eats in, I just want her to finish as much of her lunch as possible! The banana bread was probably healthier and more filling than the mac. How would you handle this?

[TwinFoxes]

I'd have a serious problem with that. I'd write a nice but firm note saying that it did not agree with my philosophy regarding nutrition. (I do not believe in making kids eat something to get something). That''s especially annoying when you've packed all healthy food. I guess she just assumed it was cake with icing. But talk about none of her beeswax. I'd also point out that you're concerned with her over all calorie intake.

[carolinacool]

I would probably send a note with some variance of what you said. It's entirely possible the teachers deal with parents who are much more concerned about food order (like my nutty DH *roll eyes*), so I think you can just let her know it's not a big deal for you - you just want her to eat period.

[Momit]

I had no idea teachers were the food police in school. I would also send a note asking that they let her eat what you send however she wants to.

[KrisM]

I know at our school, they tell kids that, but it's meant for those with a sandwich, a bag of Doritoes, and a bag of chocolate chip cookies. They want the sandwich first to make sure they don't only eat the chips and cookies. But, yes, I'd say something saying you're good with any order and aren't packing junk food.

[wellyes]

I think it's well intentioned. Banana bread with cream cheese can look like cake with frosting. And I'm sure there are families who use fat/sweety food as a reward for finishing an entree.
Personally I think the banana bread was probably the healthier part of her lunch!
But I wouldn't be upset. I imagine they get flack if a kid comes home with the meal uneaten and dessert gone, too.

I'd send a *cheerful* note saying, something like: I heard what happened, thanks for looking out for my daughter! You guys do a great job. D is a slow eater and I don't mind the order she eats, so don't worry about monitoring that for her lunch anymore.

[Simon]

I think it's well intentioned. Banana bread with cream cheese can look like cake with frosting. And I'm sure there are families who use fat/sweety food as a reward for finishing an entree.
Personally I think the banana bread was probably the healthier part of her lunch!
But I wouldn't be upset. I imagine they get flack if a kid comes home with the meal uneaten and dessert gone, too.

I'd send a *cheerful* note saying, something like: I heard what happened, thanks for looking out for my daughter! You guys do a great job. D is a slow eater and I don't mind the order she eats, so don't worry about monitoring that for her lunch anymore.

I think this is great advice. I also suggest sending in a very filling smoothie/drink option for a trial period. She may get more of that in her with sipping than food that requires chewing. I feel for you. I also have a chatty kid who eats very, very slowly. He is doing better now, in 2nd grade, but I still prepare a pretty hearty snack for pick up time since I know he didn't eat anything close to a fully lunch

[Indianamom2]

I have been there and done that with my DD. In her case it was massive anxiety and ADHD that combined made her not eat anything....all day. I talked to her teachers (multiple years) let them know what was going on and asked them to encourage her to eat something (anything) and told them that we were working on the problem at home, but for now, let her eat whatever she would eat. It wasn't even close to healthy some days and I have no idea how she didn't pass out some days from lack of food, but now that her anxiety is treated and we're working on the ADHD, eating is going a bit better.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

I think it's well intentioned. Banana bread with cream cheese can look like cake with frosting. And I'm sure there are families who use fat/sweety food as a reward for finishing an entree.
Personally I think the banana bread was probably the healthier part of her lunch!
But I wouldn't be upset. I imagine they get flack if a kid comes home with the meal uneaten and dessert gone, too.

I'd send a *cheerful* note saying, something like: I heard what happened, thanks for looking out for my daughter! You guys do a great job. D is a slow eater and I don't mind the order she eats, so don't worry about monitoring that for her lunch anymore.

:yeahthat: Exactly this!! And to what KrisM said. I would try to be as polite as possible..wellyes note sounds perfect. Like PP said, she probably thought the banana bread was cake with frosting. The teacher doesn't know your DD's issues with eating, and probably deals with tons of kids only eating cookies/chips in their lunch (while leaving the sandwich, fruit, etc).

I also second the smoothie idea. mY DD won't touch a veggie with a 10-foot pole, and is also a very slow eater (i serioulsy leave food out for 2 hours for dinner, she is so pokey about it). so i do try to pack smoothies in her lunch spiked with spinach and it helps bc she can drink things really fast.

[PZMommy]

I teach kindergarten and you would not believe some of the "lunches" that parents send for their kids. I'm sure the aide meant well. She probably just saw a quick glance of what was in the box and assumed the banana bread was cake. If you see the teacher at drop off or pick up, I would talk to the teacher then. If not, I'd send a little note. I'd keep the tone of the note light, just saying your DD has eating issues, and you just need her to eat whatever is in the box but that the order doesn't matter.

[azzeps]

It could be a factor of not having enough time to eat. I pack my daughter's lunch so that she doesn't have to wait in the lunch line, and she still doesn't finish it all. They do say to them to eat their protein first, so that's probably what happened to your daughter. I use a Yumbox and my daughter seems to enjoy eating from it, and it helps me put in a nice balance of things, and also they are "ready to eat" and I find that she eats some of each thing (usually) whereas when I packed things all separate, she just went for her favorites and didn't touch the veggies or fruits! Stinker. Maybe try packing more calorie-dense things for her. Good luck to you!