Updated in OP: I want to stop pumping and don't want to at the same time (long)

[Philly Mom]

Updated: DD2 is now 2 months. Based on the advice here, I tried nursing again. I figured the worse case scenario I would supplement with formula and eventually she would be totally weaned to formula if she was not getting enough from me. Well, she had matured and we have been nursing with very limited formula supplementation for the past few weeks. She is getting between 2-4 oz of formula a day and the rest is breast milk. I am proud of myself for sticking with it and for giving her breast milk the past couple of months. However, I do not enjoy nursing. She is still not "good" at it. I am getting the lipstick nipple every time we nurse no matter how I try to improve the latch. We have gone to nursing support classes and spoken with LC. I also find that I have a hard time spending time focusing on DD1 when I am nursing ALL THE TIME. I am getting ready to go back to work in the next couple of months and have already started doing some work, meeting with clients, etc. I hate pumping, don't want to and not sure if I will be able to given all the client meetings I will be having. So that is a long way to say that I think I will slowly wean DD2 at this point. I am conflicted about doing it, but continuing to nurse comes from a place of guilt or trying to be a perfect mom, and less from a place of joy. I appreciate everyone's advice. I am not sure I would have gotten to this point without it.

DD2 is almost 6 weeks. She was full term but in the nicu for 4 days from seizures. She is on anti seizure medication though slowly weaning off as she gains weight. At about 2 weeks she wasn't gaining weight. I had a LC come who noticed that she was struggling to suck swallow and breathe when nursing so even though I was nursing non stop she was not getting much in. At that point, I switched to pumping.

I started pumping every 2 hours including at night. I never pumped enough to keep up with her. I have tried every trick to boost supply and while it has worked to a point she still needs to be supplemented with formula. Right now I pump every 2 to 3 hours and I make about 22oz a day with 9 pumping sessions and sometimes a nursing session thrown in. I am exhausted. At night I am pumping for 30 mins which takes 45 mins from start to finish and then feeding DD when she wakes up. During the day, we are stuck at the house and I am pumping during the time I want to be cuddling her. Mix into this I have a toddler that I want to spend time with but who thankfully is in daycare so is not being completely ignored as I pump all day. So I feel like I am not getting quality time with either kid because I am pumping all the time which is making me exhausted and somewhat ill and of course effects my mobility to play with DD1. Finally, my boobs are just uncomfortable. I pump to make them more comfortable which lasts about an hour before they ache again. My nipples just constantly ache from the pump. It makes it hard to snuggle either girl.

So my long story is I hate pumping and I am miserable doing it. I have no problem with formula. DD1 had lots of it and she is wonderful but I can't bring myself to wean this time and am so conflicted on what to do. My mom and DH both think I should wean or at least pump a lot less. I am traveling alone with both girls in 6 weeks. I can't imagine having this pumping schedule then. It won't work but I don't know what to do or what I want. I thought about waiting until her 2 month appointment to talk to DD2's ped but my DH thinks this is my decision not the ped's. Of course he is right but maybe I thought the ped would absolve me if my guilt or at least talk it through with me.

If you managed to read this whole thing, I would appreciate any thoughts. TIA


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[kaharris83]

((HUGS)) I pumped for my DS1 exclusively when he wasn't able to nurse. It was exhausting and when I think back to his first year all I remember is pumping all.the.time. It makes me sad. Of course when I had DS2 I swore if he had the same issues I'd pump just as much for him, but in reality knew that wasn't feasible with 2 DC. There were so many times with DS1 when I wanted to throw in the towel but I didn't because of guilt. But like I said looking back now I'm racked with guilt over not holding him as much as I should have, or cuddling as much, or connecting as much because I was so busy pumping or cleaning pump parts. Had I known I'd feel guilty either way I may have chosen differently. I know how hard it is to let go of the want to provide the milk to your DC, but your sanity, ability to care for both your DDs, and your own comfort are all no small things either. I hope you're able to come to a decision that works best for you. No matter what you do you're doing what's best for your DD and yourself and that's what's most important. Formula isn't bad. I hope things get easier. :) And good luck on your travels with both girls. You'll do great!!

[SnuggleBuggles]

What happens if you try nursing again (sorry, you might have said)? She's older- things may have improved.

[123LuckyMom]

I sympathize! I had a lot of trouble pumping with DD (though not with my first, DS). If I had been reliant on pumping, I would have had to wean. My body just would not give milk to the pump no matter what I tried. In my case, I was able to nurse and am still nursing. I just couldn't pump.

If you don't have a problem with formula, there's no need to be conflicted. The snuggles are of utmost importance, as is your sanity. Before giving up entirely, I would try meeting with the LC to see if your DD can get more from the breast now. If she can, then you can cut down the pumping and nurse. If she can't, you did all you could, and it's time to make sure you give her yourself in the form of cuddles and attention rather than just milk. Like your other DD, she'll be fine on formula, and she might do better with even more mom time.

[HannaAddict]

I would try nursing again now that she's older. It might take a bit to get there too, maybe use a nipple shield at first if that makes it easier to get back into nursing, then wean from the shield. Pumping is hard, I was lucky to have no supply issues, and pumped round the clock from when our first was in the NICU for a few weeks (he was term) and then when we had to get nursing down and build a stash. Anything you can do is a bonus though, so if you cut back or go longer between pumping sessions don't beat yourself up. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

ETA I would try a different pump too maybe. I was like a Holstein using the hospital Medela pump but when we left the pump rental place only has a different brand that was supposed to be hospital grade. It did nothing for me, like a different t person, hardly a drop. I was upset, it was in the dark ages where stores didn't just have pumps to buy, you has to get them from special stores so called a friend who had her old Medela Pump in Style and that worked. My body only likes Medela I guess!

[georgiegirl]

I agree to try to get her back on the breast if that is something you'd be interested in

If not, don't feel guilty. Any amount of breastmilk is beneficial and a happy mom is much better than a stressed, overtired one.

[KLD313]

Don't feel guilty. I hated pumping, too. Both my kids didn't get enough from nursing. You being happy is way more important to your baby.

[Philly Mom]

((HUGS)) I pumped for my DS1 exclusively when he wasn't able to nurse. It was exhausting and when I think back to his first year all I remember is pumping all.the.time. It makes me sad. Of course when I had DS2 I swore if he had the same issues I'd pump just as much for him, but in reality knew that wasn't feasible with 2 DC. There were so many times with DS1 when I wanted to throw in the towel but I didn't because of guilt. But like I said looking back now I'm racked with guilt over not holding him as much as I should have, or cuddling as much, or connecting as much because I was so busy pumping or cleaning pump parts. Had I known I'd feel guilty either way I may have chosen differently. I know how hard it is to let go of the want to provide the milk to your DC, but your sanity, ability to care for both your DDs, and your own comfort are all no small things either. I hope you're able to come to a decision that works best for you. No matter what you do you're doing what's best for your DD and yourself and that's what's most important. Formula isn't bad. I hope things get easier. :) And good luck on your travels with both girls. You'll do great!!

Thank you. You expressed the conflict really well. I don't like that I am wishing this time away but it is winter and she was in the nicu and DD1 is in daycare bringing home germs and we were in the er this morning because she was having a hard time eating and breathing because she is so congested. So all of that makes me want to give her breast milk. But I want to cuddle with her and take her for long walks and explore and pumping doesn't allow for that.

I am not sure how to multiquote on tapatalk but thank you to everyone else as well. I would love to get her nursing. Last week I thought we had a breakthrough. We were at the Peds and I didn't have any milk. She was hungry so I tried nursing her and it seemed to work. I then nursed her a bunch the next couple days while also pumping. She was miserable. She seemed hungry all the time and my pumping supply seemed to go down. I was thinking of using nursing to wean from the pump actually and if it worked as nursing, awesome and if it just made my supply drop slowly while I continued to supplement with bottles that is ok too. I have been speaking with the LC about it and she wanted me to rent a scale because she is concerned that DD2 won't get enough from nursing. She has seen us nursing and so knows the issues.


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[Kindra178]

Are you using a hospital grade pump, like a Symphony? That was key to my success in pumping. Make sure you are using horns that are big enough as well. Here's my advice as someone who pumped for 7 months (always with some formula) with twins and a two year old at home. Pump when you can, nurse when you want and supplement as needed. Formula is your friend.

I stopped pumping for the reasons you mentioned. All I was doing was pumping and not spending enough time with the babies.

[Piglet]

I had a lot of trouble with DD after 2 fairly easy goes of nursing my boys. I pumped, supplemented, hired LC's, you name it. I had regular weigh-ins with her and loads of support, and yet she just didn't gain and the stress of it all seriously decreased my supply. At 2 months, my dad gave me the best advice, which is what I needed to hear - just feed the baby, whatever you feed her. It was the type of ’duh!?' statement that I would have scoffed at as being way too simplistic, but honestly, I just needed to have someone say it - feed the baby, be it formula or pumped milk, or nursing or whatever. I then worked on pumping what I reasonably could and adding formula in to make up the difference. I didn't get up at night to pump and I didn't stress if I didn't get a ton. It really helped my emotional health!

[sunnyside]

Hugs! I would try to not feel guilty over the decisions you are making. You obviously love your children and want the best for them and are doing your best. Things could change a lot in 6 weeks as your baby gets bigger and maybe some of the feeding issues would ease. Do you think another LC could help you more? I have heard of lots of people having to pump early on, but then being able to gradually switch to nursing and stop pumping all together. I think in the long run nursing is easier than formula, and you can always do a combo if that works for you.

Bottom line is it really is up to you, there are no right answers. Just keep in mind that if you decide to stop pumping, just be sure you ok with it, because the decision may be very hard to change later, if possible at all. I think if you can keep some milk going then you could get your supply back up if her feeding issues resolved.

Hang in there!

[AnnieW625]

:hug:

If I had the same issues as you with DD1 I would have switched to formula in an instant and had zero guilt. I was never a big producer with her even when using a hospital grade Medela Lactina pump so she got formula at least one formula bottle every other day or sometimes everyday and most days when we were out (I was not comfortable nursing in public) and she has been an excellent little kid and always pretty healthy. I ended up weaning her when she was 4 months because I wasn't producing enough milk to make pumping at work worth it. I consistently pumped 3 to 4 oz. total each time I pumped.

Had I had those issues with DD2 I would have felt the same way you do and honestly I blame the BBB for that second guessing and guilt. It seriously sucks and it is the one thing about the BBB I don't like.

If I were you I might try only breast feeding and no pumping at all for a bit, but if that is going to be too stressful I would switch to formula without even thinking about it.

:hug:

[egoldber]

I agree that it does not need to be an all or nothing decision. What is sounds like is that you don't want to pump, or at least not so much. So maybe stop pumping during the day. Nurse and top off with formula (or pumped milk if you have it) and then pump maybe twice a day, perhaps after the kids go to bed and/or before they get up. That way the pumping doesn't interfere with your daily interactions, but at the same time, she is still getting some antibodies from breastmilk.

[westwoodmom04]

I would try nursing again (maybe with the assistance of a lc) and if that doesn't work, pump the number of times a day that works for you (even if that is 0) and make up the difference with formula. Pumping is the absolute worst, no matter how high quality the pump (at least it was for me).

[Philly Mom]

So I am trying to nurse instead of pump and then offering a bottle. The first time was at the ped. I could weigh her after she ate and she gained 5oz between feedings. I did it again this afternoon and she did not want any bottle. :). If I can wean off the pump other than at night, it would be awesome. For some reason she has a harder time nursing at night. She does not like to latch on at all.


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[georgiegirl]

So I am trying to nurse instead of pump and then offering a bottle. The first time was at the ped. I could weigh her after she ate and she gained 5oz between feedings. I did it again this afternoon and she did not want any bottle. :). If I can wean off the pump other than at night, it would be awesome. For some reason she has a harder time nursing at night. She does not like to latch on at all.


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Sounds like a great plan! Glad things are going pretty well. Babies are able to get more than the pump. I bet her latch will get better at night the more you nurse her.

[123LuckyMom]

I think that's a great plan, too. I hope you start feeling better about everything soon!!!

[sntm]

That is fantastic! Good luck switching off the pump!

[TwoBees]

I have not read the other responses, but I couldn't not comment. I totally, completely understand. I had a similar situation with DD. I pumped exclusively while she was in the NICU. When she was discharged, we tried nursing but she had such a weak suck. I continued to pump. After a few months, I realized that I wasn't spending any quality feeding time with her because I was rushing off to the other room to pump. I chose to stop. It was more important for me to spend time with DD than it was for her to get more milk.

You need to do what is best for you and your family as a whole. You can't devote yourself to your kids if you are tired and frustrated. It is ok to stop. Pumpking/nursing is great when it works, but it does not work for anyway. I'm pro BM if it works, but you should NOT feel guilty if it isn't working for you.

Giant hugs. Whatever decision you make is a good one. :grouphug:

[Philly Mom]

I have not read the other responses, but I couldn't not comment. I totally, completely understand. I had a similar situation with DD. I pumped exclusively while she was in the NICU. When she was discharged, we tried nursing but she had such a weak suck. I continued to pump. After a few months, I realized that I wasn't spending any quality feeding time with her because I was rushing off to the other room to pump. I chose to stop. It was more important for me to spend time with DD than it was for her to get more milk.

You need to do what is best for you and your family as a whole. You can't devote yourself to your kids if you are tired and frustrated. It is ok to stop. Pumpking/nursing is great when it works, but it does not work for anyway. I'm pro BM if it works, but you should NOT feel guilty if it isn't working for you.

Giant hugs. Whatever decision you make is a good one. :grouphug:

Question: when you decided to stop, how did you wean yourself from the pump? I am using DD2 to nurse as best she can to wean. I often feel a real need to pump to get comfortable and am afraid of making myself sick.


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[TwoBees]

Question: when you decided to stop, how did you wean yourself from the pump? I am using DD2 to nurse as best she can to wean. I often feel a real need to pump to get comfortable and am afraid of making myself sick.


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I'm trying to think...I don't recall doing anything specific. I think I was only pumping 3ish times a day at that point because I was back to work, and just stopped cold turkey. I don't recall it being particularly uncomfortable but to be honest it's all kind of fuzzy. I'm large-chested to begin with, so I'm used to my breasts being large and heavy...maybe that helped? Can you try to increase the amount of time between pumping sessions gradually? I think by continually pumping to relieve the pressure, you are telling your body to keep up the supply, which is the opposite of what you want if you are planning to stop.

[mommylamb]

So I am trying to nurse instead of pump and then offering a bottle. The first time was at the ped. I could weigh her after she ate and she gained 5oz between feedings. I did it again this afternoon and she did not want any bottle. :). If I can wean off the pump other than at night, it would be awesome. For some reason she has a harder time nursing at night. She does not like to latch on at all.


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That's a great update!

Out of curiosity, have you tried a nipple shield? Both of mine had a hard time latching and the nipple shield really helped. I know some breast feeding purist poo poo nipple shields, but this is what worked for us and made latch so much easier. Both of mine used them for at least a couple months, which is a lot longer than typical, but both were eventually able to BF without them once they got bigger. I'm also a big fan of whatever works, and I think formula (supplementing or total) is perfectly fine.


Question: when you decided to stop, how did you wean yourself from the pump? I am using DD2 to nurse as best she can to wean. I often feel a real need to pump to get comfortable and am afraid of making myself sick.


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I pumped at work for many months both times, and basically, I just started pushing pumping sessions further apart and then eventually dropped a session and so on. I weaned very slowly that way, but it wasn't painful.

[Philly Mom]

That's a great update!

Out of curiosity, have you tried a nipple shield? Both of mine had a hard time latching and the nipple shield really helped. I know some breast feeding purist poo poo nipple shields, but this is what worked for us and made latch so much easier. Both of mine used them for at least a couple months, which is a lot longer than typical, but both were eventually able to BF without them once they got bigger. I'm also a big fan of whatever works, and I think formula (supplementing or total) is perfectly fine.



I pumped at work for many months both times, and basically, I just started pushing pumping sessions further apart and then eventually dropped a session and so on. I weaned very slowly that way, but it wasn't painful.

I tried a breast shield and it was painful and did not work. I tried it with the LC and she agreed it did not work.

I just nursed her now. She took enough that I am able to really push back pumping but clearly not enough as she seems really frustrated. Hopefully nursing will allow me to wean from the pump and give her some milk.


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[egoldber]

A nipple shield is different from a breast shield.

[Philly Mom]

A nipple shield is different from a breast shield.

This just went over the nipple. So a nipple shield?


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[mommylamb]

This just went over the nipple. So a nipple shield?


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I had never heard of a breast shield, so I searched for it on Amazon, and this is what I found http://www.amazon.com/Medela-PersonalFit-Small-Breastshields-2-pk/dp/B000RZYJDC/ref=sr_1_4?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1387215492&sr=1-4&keywords=breast+shield This is different than the nipple shield I used, which is http://www.amazon.com/Medela-Contact-Nipple-Shield-20mm/dp/B000YQMWLU/ref=sr_1_3?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1387215492&sr=1-3&keywords=breast+shield. I know they make nipple shields in two different sizes, and the small size hurt me a lot, but I was totally comfortable with the larger size. However, if it hurts you, you shouldn't do it. Do whatever makes you the least stressed out.

[123LuckyMom]

The nipple shield I used was similar to the one above but had no cut out. I had to use it to save my nipples from cracking and becoming raw. They worked wonderfully for me!

[sunnyside]

So I am trying to nurse instead of pump and then offering a bottle. The first time was at the ped. I could weigh her after she ate and she gained 5oz between feedings. I did it again this afternoon and she did not want any bottle. :). If I can wean off the pump other than at night, it would be awesome. For some reason she has a harder time nursing at night. She does not like to latch on at all.


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This is fantastic news! I had latch issues at night too, and ended up with a patched together way of nursing that most people didn't get. (Nursed on the left at night and the right during the day, as my DD would not latch on the left side unless she was very sleepy like at night and only if we were lying down).

Also, if you are still building your supply, it may help to keep pumping just a little longer while she is getting her latch organized. I know it's not fun, and in no way mean any pressure. Also, many women find production highest in the very early morning hours. Pumping then may have produce more for you, and also help boost your supply. If you could nurse a lot for a few days, offering often and trying to stay skin to skin as much as possible, it may help as well. It sounds like your little girl is starting to catch on and will likely continue to improve her latch. Hang in there!

If your supply is already ok, then disregard what I said about boosting it. :)

[lizzywednesday]

What happens if you try nursing again (sorry, you might have said)? She's older- things may have improved.

:yeahthat:

I had to pump exclusively with my DD while she was in the CICU. The every-2-hours pump thing was BRUTAL and I would fall asleep while pumping (yes, really) with the rental pump. We didn't get the hang of nursing until I saw an LC - DD was almost 2 months old by then and we had what felt like CONSTANT pediatrician weight checks to see if she was gaining at all.

I say head back to the LC and see if the suck-swallow-breathe issue is still there.

If it is, you've done the best you could at this point and you've got every reason to do whatever feels best for your mental health. You've put in a heroic effort!!

[Philly Mom]

Brief update: I nursed her between 10 and 4 yesterday and then pumped. I also went to a BF support class and the nurse who ran it thought DD was doing ok. Doing the same today. She has not wanted the bottle after nursing but she seems more frustrated after nursing than she does after a bottle. I have my in laws here for the next few weeks mixed with having to work a bit so not sure I could get the LC again. I am planning on taking her to the doctor to put her on the scale later this week. She was weighed there on Saturday so I can at least see if she gains.


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[123LuckyMom]

Refusing the bottle after nursing is a good sign! I hope you're feeling relieved of the pumping burden.

[thelilprincess]

I only read you post and none of the replies.

Do not feel any guilt. I bf my daughter for a year but had to supplement at 5 months because my supply was low no matter how much herbals I tried. Loving you children and spending quality time with them is great. Some moms can not produce milk at all and feed their children formula strictly. I have a friend with a brain tumor and could not produce breastmilk. I hate when people don't understand and shame other moms for formula feeding (pointing out at idiots like Gisele who thinks it should be a law).

Do what is right for you and your family.

[Philly Mom]

Bump. Updated in OP.

[thelilprincess]

Bump. Updated in OP.

Is part of the low supply part of the problem on why you hate pumping? My sister just has her baby 5 weeks early - baby is now 2.5 weeks old and my sister is able to produce 9oz in one session! I'm envious since it was hard for me to get that much in even a few sessions. My sister went to another lactation session on 1/1 and said she learned a lot about trying to get a better latch. She also learned that baby is actually getting enough milk on one side in he less than 10 minutes he feeds so LC said it wasn't necessary to nurse him on both breasts.

My first time around I only tried herbals teas and more milk plus supplements, diet (oatmeal, lots of water). This time around if milk production is low, I will consider asking my dr about reglan (metoopramide) RX. It's an anti-nausea med but used to help with milk production.

But again, if you don't enjoy it, don't push yourself. But in case you wanted more options, thought maybe some of the things I wrote above could help. Good luck!

[kaharris83]

You did awesome Mama!! No guilt.

[123LuckyMom]

I'm glad you got to pump less but sorry nursing has been so unpleasant. Did you ever try a nipple shield? If you intend to wean, that's just fine, but I had really terrible discomfort with DS, and the nipple shield really did prevent soreness and pain of any kind. I used it for months, actually, which is very unusual, but it worked for us. Once he was a bigger baby, we were able to nurse without it. The shield will prevent pain, but it won't solve a small baby wanting to nurse all the time, unfortunately. ;)

[Philly Mom]

Is part of the low supply part of the problem on why you hate pumping? My sister just has her baby 5 weeks early - baby is now 2.5 weeks old and my sister is able to produce 9oz in one session! I'm envious since it was hard for me to get that much in even a few sessions. My sister went to another lactation session on 1/1 and said she learned a lot about trying to get a better latch. She also learned that baby is actually getting enough milk on one side in he less than 10 minutes he feeds so LC said it wasn't necessary to nurse him on both breasts.

My first time around I only tried herbals teas and more milk plus supplements, diet (oatmeal, lots of water). This time around if milk production is low, I will consider asking my dr about reglan (metoopramide) RX. It's an anti-nausea med but used to help with

milk production.

But again, if you don't enjoy it, don't push yourself. But in case you wanted more options, thought maybe some of the things I wrote above could help. Good luck!

I normally got 22oz over a whole day, pumping 8/9 times. It was miserable.

However, I don't think supply is my issue really because she seems to be getting enough now. I do drink lots if water and mothers milk tea.


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[Philly Mom]

I'm glad you got to pump less but sorry nursing has been so unpleasant. Did you ever try a nipple shield? If you intend to wean, that's just fine, but I had really terrible discomfort with DS, and the nipple shield really did prevent soreness and pain of any kind. I used it for months, actually, which is very unusual, but it worked for us. Once he was a bigger baby, we were able to nurse without it. The shield will prevent pain, but it won't solve a small baby wanting to nurse all the time, unfortunately. ;)

I tried the shield. It didn't work for either of us. DD2 still has mechanical issues eating. Has them with a bottle too so the shield was counter productive. The amount of nursing would be fine if it didn't hurt so much and I could interact with DD1 in the smallest way. I need both hands to nurse though and need to fully concentrate so I can't be there for DD1 at all during sessions. Thankfully we kept her in daycare during the week so it is ok. But I really feel it on the weekends and she is too.


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