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View Full Version : Question about Gifting DNs 18+ y.o.


ha98ed14
12-15-2013, 04:05 PM
Our family has had differences with SIL before, so in the past, we have tred lightly on what to give her kids. This year, DN1 will turn 18 in Jan. The only time we give her kids gifts is at Christmas, so DH & I want to do something big for him. We are planning to give him $100 cash. It's more than we've ever spent on him (we usually spend ~ $50 per child; there are 4 of them), and it is more than SIL would ever hand him. She keeps him on a very short leash and will often pay for things for him, but not give him the $ to choose himself. He has never had a job, so no earned money of his own; however, he is a VERY responsible and sensible guy, so we don't worry he will do something foolish with it. He's going to be living at home and going to community college next year, which will only enable SIL to control him longer. Do you think it is okay to get him what WE want to now that he is (going to be) 18?
JBaxter
12-15-2013, 04:17 PM
I think cash or like a Visa gift card would be great.
StantonHyde
12-15-2013, 05:08 PM
I would get him the usual xmas gift in cash or gift card--$50 and then give him $50 when he starts college as a graduation present.
ha98ed14
12-15-2013, 05:11 PM
I would get him the usual xmas gift in cash or gift card--$50 and then give him $50 when he starts college as a graduation present.

Oh that's a good idea...
misshollygolightly
12-15-2013, 08:42 PM
I would get him the usual xmas gift in cash or gift card--$50 and then give him $50 when he starts college as a graduation present.

I completely agree! The extra $ will be even more useful and appreciated as a graduation gift, and I think there's less risk at that point of your SIL being shocked or offended that you've spent so much on him. Plus, giving him such a disproportionate value as a Christmas gift may look weird when his siblings would, I assume, be receiving lower value gifts.
JBaxter
12-15-2013, 10:24 PM
Try getting him a wallet too. You can tuck the cash ( of what ever amount ) inside. Its a fun way to give cash.
JElaineB
12-15-2013, 10:34 PM
Absolutely. DH has an 18 year old niece and we found out that her mom kicked her out after she turned 18 because here dad (DH's brother) no longer had to send child support. So she is on her own. We hardly ever see her but sent her $100 for h.s. graudation and another $100 for Christmas. More than we have every spent on her over the years, cumulatively.