magnoliaparadise
12-16-2013, 04:35 AM
Hi,
I'd love your thoughts. When DD2 was in (a posh) nursery school, the norm was that everyone had all class birthday parties. I liked it at the time - we had birthday parties every weekend and it strengthened our ties with her classmates and families.
Now that DD is in kindergarten, there appears to be fewer 'all' class birthday parties. Though I can't be sure because I don't know when all the kids birthdays are, so this is a guess.
I am torn as to whether to have a class birthday party or not for DD who turns 6 soon.
There are 25 kids in the class.
If we had an all class party, I would not invite her personal out-of-school friends to it. (it feels like too much to have school and non-school friends in one huge party.)
I should add that, as far as I can tell, DD1 is well liked in school, but she does not get to see classmates after school and has few play dates because many classmates come from very far away or have busy schedules. As a result, DD mainly sees classmate out of school at birthday parties - and she really loves when she gets to see them.
The reasons to have an all 25 kid invited class party are:
- it seems like a nice thing to do for the class and I'd like to get to know the other families more and strengthen our class as a whole (nice people, but we are all busy)(this is a big reason);
- I feel uncomfortable only inviting a few classmates because I feel like the kids talk now and I don't want DD to be seen as excluding other kids (this is also a big reason);
- at this point, we have been invited to several so that we would want to reciprocate anyway;
- DD really wants an all class party - I think she views it as feeling 'special' within the class - not the determining factor, but if she didn't care either way, I definitely wouldn't even consider an all class party;
- for those families who are more inclined to reciprocate after coming to DD's party, it would be great for my DD to be invited to other parties and see her friends. I'm not assuming that the invitation would assume reciprocation, but to the extent that my DD got invited to other parties, she would be happy.
The reasons to not have an all class party are:
- it's very (very) expensive here and I just wonder if the money spent is worth it - we are in a small apartment so having a class party in our home is out of the question unfortunately. And we are in a city so space is a premium (and thus the high expense for parties);
- we REALLY don't need any more presents and I almost wince thinking of 24 coming our way - I would consider saying no presents for this one if we have it, even though DD would be disappointed;
- after all the all-class nursery school birthday parties, we really only keep in touch with 2-3 families, and DD only left pre-school 6 months ago! Which makes me think... was it really worth the time, effort, cost to invite everyone?...
- now that I have two kids and increasingly have to do 'the same' for both of them (DD2 is 2), I am wondering whether this is a bad precedent, given the cost.
- my sense is that the parties are about to get smaller anyway so part of me thinks... if they are going to get smaller by next year or the year after generally anyway, maybe we should bite the bullet and just make it small this year and save money.
One possibility is to 'share' a birthday party with another family. DD is not thrilled with the idea, but I might do that. I just don't know when other parties are and would want to do it with another kid DD liked a lot.
Another possibility is to have all girls - problem with that, though, is that she has several really great friends who are boys. And honestly, for some reason, I have consistently found myself loving the parents/families of boys in our classes, so I am usually keen on including boys at our parties and not limiting to gender.
I'd love to know your thoughts on this, from those who have BTDT.
Also, from your experience, when the all-class birthday parties start getting smaller? By 1st, 2nd grade?
Thanks in advance.
I'd love your thoughts. When DD2 was in (a posh) nursery school, the norm was that everyone had all class birthday parties. I liked it at the time - we had birthday parties every weekend and it strengthened our ties with her classmates and families.
Now that DD is in kindergarten, there appears to be fewer 'all' class birthday parties. Though I can't be sure because I don't know when all the kids birthdays are, so this is a guess.
I am torn as to whether to have a class birthday party or not for DD who turns 6 soon.
There are 25 kids in the class.
If we had an all class party, I would not invite her personal out-of-school friends to it. (it feels like too much to have school and non-school friends in one huge party.)
I should add that, as far as I can tell, DD1 is well liked in school, but she does not get to see classmates after school and has few play dates because many classmates come from very far away or have busy schedules. As a result, DD mainly sees classmate out of school at birthday parties - and she really loves when she gets to see them.
The reasons to have an all 25 kid invited class party are:
- it seems like a nice thing to do for the class and I'd like to get to know the other families more and strengthen our class as a whole (nice people, but we are all busy)(this is a big reason);
- I feel uncomfortable only inviting a few classmates because I feel like the kids talk now and I don't want DD to be seen as excluding other kids (this is also a big reason);
- at this point, we have been invited to several so that we would want to reciprocate anyway;
- DD really wants an all class party - I think she views it as feeling 'special' within the class - not the determining factor, but if she didn't care either way, I definitely wouldn't even consider an all class party;
- for those families who are more inclined to reciprocate after coming to DD's party, it would be great for my DD to be invited to other parties and see her friends. I'm not assuming that the invitation would assume reciprocation, but to the extent that my DD got invited to other parties, she would be happy.
The reasons to not have an all class party are:
- it's very (very) expensive here and I just wonder if the money spent is worth it - we are in a small apartment so having a class party in our home is out of the question unfortunately. And we are in a city so space is a premium (and thus the high expense for parties);
- we REALLY don't need any more presents and I almost wince thinking of 24 coming our way - I would consider saying no presents for this one if we have it, even though DD would be disappointed;
- after all the all-class nursery school birthday parties, we really only keep in touch with 2-3 families, and DD only left pre-school 6 months ago! Which makes me think... was it really worth the time, effort, cost to invite everyone?...
- now that I have two kids and increasingly have to do 'the same' for both of them (DD2 is 2), I am wondering whether this is a bad precedent, given the cost.
- my sense is that the parties are about to get smaller anyway so part of me thinks... if they are going to get smaller by next year or the year after generally anyway, maybe we should bite the bullet and just make it small this year and save money.
One possibility is to 'share' a birthday party with another family. DD is not thrilled with the idea, but I might do that. I just don't know when other parties are and would want to do it with another kid DD liked a lot.
Another possibility is to have all girls - problem with that, though, is that she has several really great friends who are boys. And honestly, for some reason, I have consistently found myself loving the parents/families of boys in our classes, so I am usually keen on including boys at our parties and not limiting to gender.
I'd love to know your thoughts on this, from those who have BTDT.
Also, from your experience, when the all-class birthday parties start getting smaller? By 1st, 2nd grade?
Thanks in advance.