How do you handle a 2 year old who could really hurt someone ?

[fedoragirl]

Today, I went downstairs for 2 minutes to get something before bed time and came back to see DD screaming at the top of her lungs (she's a bit dramatic) and DS's hands around her throat squeezing with glee. I removed him from the situation and put him in his crib (not for time out) without a word. I went back to see DD and her neck had scratch marks and red marks all over. So, I am guessing more force was involved.
DS is getting more and more aggressive towards DD and I am at a loss at to what to do about it. We've done consistent time-outs but he just laughs at them. We've done time outs where we sit with him and hold him but he's never been much for physical affection.
So, what lesson can I teach him other than "it's not ok to hurt your sis?"

[BunnyBee]

Might be time to consult a professional. In the meantime, constant supervision. I would be no more than an arm's length from him.

[Tondi G]

He is 2. They really don't understand. All you can do is make sure that your DD is not left alone with DS. Keep telling him over and over that he is hurting his sister and that he needs to be kind and gentle.

[TwinFoxes]

We've done consistent time-outs but he just laughs at them. We've done time outs where we sit with him and hold him but he's never been much for physical affection.
So, what lesson can I teach him other than "it's not ok to hurt your sis?"

Do you mean you do these time outs in addition to traditional time outs? Because even if he's not into physical affection, it's still attention. At 2.5, DD suddenly decided her sister was delicious, and would bite her HARD. She stopped when we were at WDW, I told her not to bite her sister, she looked, smiled at me, and bit her sister so hard it drew blood. So, DH took the "victim" DD out to walk around the promenade (we were all strollered up to go) while the "biter" and I sat in the room with her in time out for 2 minutes. That was the end of biting. (This was after days of her biting us all hard, DH still has a mark on his shoulder!) I think you just have to find an age appropriate consequence, and make sure the victim gets the attention. (Although your DS might not understand that choking hurts…DD did understand biting hurts because her sister bit her back once).

[AngB]

Do you mean you do these time outs in addition to traditional time outs? Because even if he's not into physical affection, it's still attention. At 2.5, DD suddenly decided her sister was delicious, and would bite her HARD. She stopped when we were at WDW, I told her not to bite her sister, she looked, smiled at me, and bit her sister so hard it drew blood. So, DH took the "victim" DD out to walk around the promenade (we were all strollered up to go) while the "biter" and I sat in the room with her in time out for 2 minutes. That was the end of biting. (This was after days of her biting us all hard, DH still has a mark on his shoulder!) I think you just have to find an age appropriate consequence, and make sure the victim gets the attention. (Although your DS might not understand that choking hurts…DD did understand biting hurts because her sister bit her back once). U

Agreed that you can't give the attention of holding them for time out because a lot of it at this age is for attention and a reaction from you. It is HARD not to react though. We still have a high chair out for DS2 and even though DS1 is huge, he still fits in it, so I make him sit in the high chair trapped in for 2 minutes and play with DS2 or comfort DS2 while DS1 is in time out. That forces him to stay put. He doesn't get attention for it. And he doesn't like it. It's a pretty decent deterrent but I use it sparingly and pretty much just for hurting someone intentionally.

[hillview]

honestly we've btdt. It took a while but is now fine. You cannot leave them alone together for now.

[fedoragirl]

honestly we've btdt. It took a while but is now fine. You cannot leave them alone together for now.

Ok thanks! I thought we were raising a psychopath. On one hand it's comforting that he doesn't do this to anyone else but his sister. But I wish he didn't have to be so hurtful to her. Glad it's a phase and I'll monitor them constantly now.