How on earth do you handle homework, especially for more than one kid?

[magnoliaparadise]

I have a 2 and 5 yo girl and I am already looking down the long path of homework and wondering: how on earth am I going to manage this?

My 5 year old is in kindergarten and her school is very pro-homework. She gets about 30 - 45 minutes a night. While I'm working with her, my 2 year old is on her own and sometimes gets very frustrated (or, worse, angers her older sister by getting in the way of her doing homework or writing all over her homework).

I would get a sitter to help entertain my 2 yo, but I would rather not spend the money (I have no family nearby). Shockingly, last night, my 2 yo rejected the TV!

I would leave my 5 year old to do her homework on her own, but it's all about reading and new math concepts. She needs me to help her pretty closely.

It's a lot to manage homework for my 5 yo, make sure my 2 yo gets enough attention that she is ok, make dinner, keep them on schedule to get to bed on time... I am a single parent, too, but this issue would be the same for anyone whose partner was not home.

I would love to hear others views on how to balance homework, with one kid and especially more. And especially as they get older.

Thanks in advance.

[mikeys_mom]

I have one in grade 4 and one in grade 1 plus twins in K. I have found that as they get older, they need less constant assistance with homework and more just regular check-ins. DH is rarely ever home until shortly before bedtime so supper, cleanup and homework is all managed by me.

Thankfully no homework for K. The twins are almost 5yo and I usually have them either take a bath (they can play on their own in the bath for a while) or do crafts while the other 2 are doing homework.

While DS would like for me to sit with him the entire time he does homework, it's just not possible and he *can* do most of the homework on his own if he is motivated. I give him a task to work on independently and tell him that in x minutes I will return and we can work through any problems.
For DD1, similar to you, I need to sit with her and listen to her read or help her practice spelling words. Her homework is typically no more than 10-15 minutes so it's easier to give her the one-on-one time than if it were half an hour.

The one sanity-saving ground rule I have is - Homework is not my responsibility. I am there to help but the kids need to do it themselves and it needs to be done at the appropriate time if they want my help. I have told them that we have a big, busy family and in order to make time for everyone's needs, they need to be considerate of everyone else and make sure they get stuff done on time or they are on their own. I have no problem sending my kids to school with incomplete homework if they were goofing off and run out of time. I refuse to make homework a battle or to have it consume the entire evening. Screen-time is a major currency here so no screen time until homework is done but other than that, I don't fight it. I figure that getting the consequence in school for incomplete work is probably a bigger motivator than me getting upset. Plus, it helps me stay sane :)

[TwinFoxes]

It is the bane of my existence. I have no advice, but I feel your pain. Although we only get about 3 short worksheets, and they have a whole week to do them. 45 minutes a night would be the end of me.

[egoldber]

Well, I probably wouldn't do it, so I'm no help. I would be appalled at that much homework for a kindy kid. My kids got (virtually) no homework in K. Even in first, my kids got pretty little.

ETA: But it is hard. I found that older DD needed the most help in grades 1-4. After that she was pretty self sufficient.

She is now in 7th (middle school) and I'm finding that once again she needs more help. Not in doing the work, but she now has a LOT of work almost every night and many long term projects. She's getting overwhelmed managing it all and we are having to help her develop new skills and systems to keep track of everything.

[crl]

My two are really far apart so I don't think I will ever really be managing two at the same time. Dd is three and ds is ten and in fourth grade. This year ds hasn't needed help hardly at all so it has been very easy. Second grade was the hardest for us because he needed a lot of help and dd was at a stage where she wouldn't watch tv or play on her own at all. Fortunately she went to bed first so we did homework after she went to bed. It wasn't ideal because ds was also kind of mentally tired at that point in the day and got frustrated easily, but it was the best we could manage.

I have to to admit that I would have a very hard time making sure that much homework got done for a kindergartner. I hate homework in the lower grades because there is absolutely nothing to show that it teaches kids anything useful and I am convinced what it really teaches kids is that their parents are responsible for their homework--bad bad message. That much homework for a kindergartner might be enough to have me complaining to the teacher and principal and district.

Catherine

[pb&j]

This year I pushed back on homework. The stuff that DS can do on his own, he does. The stuff that I have to hold his hand through? I asked the teacher to assist or to modify the assignment so that he can do it with minimal assistance, or we choose not to do it. The teacher has been fine with it. The educational objective of the homework has never been communicated to me, and the assignments he's been given do nothing to reinforce what he learns in school or broaden his knowledge or skillset in any way.

DS is well above grade level in all subjects. It's second grade. Homework shouldn't be a struggle, and it shouldn't take very long. We are very involved parents who do plenty of educational enriching. I have a master's in education, so I certainly value it. I'm just not sure I value the one size fits all homework that our school sends home.

[KpbS]

It is hard! I've got a 2 yo that won't nap anymore so that time of day is usually ripe for meltdowns and mischief. A Kindergartner that has homework occasionally but needs a snack and some supervision and a 4th grader that doesn't love homework (of course) and needs help focusing sometimes and double checking. :dizzy:

[maestramommy]

35-45 minutes is ridiculous for K, imho. If it takes that long WITH your help I'd say something to the teacher.

Otherwise I totally sympathize because your younger one is at a very demanding age. I don't know what I'd do. When DD1 was in K she had only 10 minutes of homework but it required my supervision for the first 3 months only, basically to make sure she was doing it correctly, so I only had to look over her shoulder. Last year for 1st grade and same for DD2 this year needs the most supervision because they aren't reading well enough to get all the directions. This year DD1 only asks me for help when she can't understand a question, so I am only really supervising DD2, who needs to be drilled on math facts (and is extreeeeeeeemely reluctant!). It's tougher when I am practicing violin with DD1 but the other two are getting better at doing their own thing (well really DD3 who is still really demanding) for the 15 minutes, and if I have to step away DD1 is able to practice on her own for a bit.

At the beginning of the year DD1's homework took 45 minutes the first day, but it was supposed to only take 20. I emailed the teacher and she said for spelling (which is the most time consuming part) to just stop after 20 minutes. DD1 keeps getting 100% plus extra credit on her tests so I'm not worrying over that.

[niccig]

I hear you. I too wonder how it gets done with multiple kids. DS is 3rd grade and he is pretty much independent with Math, occasionally I need to help with that. Spelling he likes me to test him each day and if he doesn't fight it, it doesn't take long. I love review weeks as he already knows how to spell the words so it's quick. He also had tests every few weeks for math, science or social studies so I need to have him go over a few things before those. Projects we save for the weekend. He has a book report due end of January that we're going to do over the winter break as it's make a diorama or a scrapbook page.

[Piglet]

Ummm, poorly?

Seriously though, I hate homework and find that 30-40 minutes of homework in K is beyond ridiculous. If it is a must, I would make special "homework" for the 2 year old. Basically give her special colouring sheets and stickers that you save for homework time so she can be like big sister. I would also ask the teacher how much time is reasonable to spend on homweork and if parents are supposed to actively help. In our school they prefer parents be hands-off as much as possible so they can see where the trouble spots are for the kids.

It does get better as their reading skills improve - with DD (in grade 1) we needed to be more hands on at the start of the year and now she can do most sheets on her own. She can read the instructions (sometimes with a bit of help from us) and then get herself going on the actual work now. It helps that she does homework at the island in the kitchen so I can make supper and give a bit of assistance at the same time.

[wendibird22]

DD1, 1st grade, gets a small amount of homework M-T night. Nothing to do Fri or over the weekend unless it's a special project and then we have advanced notice. We are told to spend no longer than 20min (math worksheet plus reading) and to end and note the cut off if not completed. We are usually able to get it done in 10 to 15min max. I'm fortunate that DD2 is picked up by DH and DD1 and I get home before they do. I try to cram in a snack and homework before they walk in the door. If I can't do that or DH has a late night then DD2 sits with us and does her "homework" (she's 4) that we make up together...a coloring sheet, tracing letters, cutting out ads from the Sunday paper, etc. Now that DD1 is a stronger reader she can usually read and understand the math homework directions on her own and I'm there to check it over. 45min for a K'er is a bit overboard IMO.

[ShanaMama]

What??!! 45 minutes of hw in kindergarten? That is insane. DD2 is in primary (pre1a) & she has reading hw every single night- that takes 5 mins. DD1 is in third grade. I think she has a reasonable amount of hw & she's willing to sit & do it nicely. The problem is that 15-20 mins of it requires my involvement, which is challenging as she does hw after supper when I'm trying to start bedtime for the other 2. Her teacher mentioned at meet the teacher night that she emphasizes the children's responsibility for their hw, teaching them to be organized, pack their briefcases, etc. Its the kids job, not the mother's. I do prompt DD but I think her teacher's guidelines help a lot.
I think I am the happiest one on nights that they have no hw.

[Simon]

If you feel a need to do the homework, then I would get activity books (sticker, coloring, watercolor) for the 2 year old and also fine motor stuff like pipe cleaners to bend, mini pompoms to glue or sort, a scoop and pitcher are great for pouring things like beans and water. Those things keep 2 year olds busy here. Also, the 2yo may be reacting as much to feeling excluded as anything else. I pull out the above and if those don't work then its snack time and if that doesn't work then ts bath time and if that doesn't work, then I bring reading books for the little kids, read a few pages and then hand them the book to look at one their own while I help Ds for "just a minute".

Personally, I wouldn't do the homework, maybe a trial of 2 weeks, and see if it affects her ability to keep up in class. If not, then I say skip it.
The school rule of thumb here is no more than 10 minutes per grade level per subject, and never all subjects at once. In 2nd grade, we aim to do reading daily and math or instrument for a total of about 45 minutes. We didn't do anything in K that we could avoid and only did reading in 1st with some math games for fun.

[ellies mom]

This year is the first year I have two in school. For me, adding DD2 into the mix was easy because she loves doing homework and it is maybe 5 minutes a day, 20 if she insists on doing it all in one afternoon. They get a list of five very short things to do at the beginning of the week (practice writing the letter K, for example) and then a very short book comes home each night. My problem is DD1. It is such a struggle to get her to do her homework.

In your case, with the 2 year old I'd see if I could find some "homework" type things for her do while you are helping the oldest. For example, a coloring book, a Kuman workbook. Maybe a painting type craft. Something that helps her feel like she is involved and "being a big kid" too.

[crl]

I think the "homework" type activities for the younger is a great idea. Just so you don't feel too dejected if that doesn't work, it totally didn't for my dd. I think it would now that she is 3 1/2 but when she was younger she would let me set it all up and then run around wreaking havoc to get my attention rather than doing the "homework" we had set up. That's when I switched to doing homework with ds after dd went to bed.

Catherine

[ahisma]

I agree that I'd push back on that amount of homework for a kindy kid. My first grader rarely has more than 10 mins / night of homework and often has no homework. We're asked to read as a family (him reading or us reading to him) for 10 mins a night when he doesn't have any homework. That feels very reasonable to me.

We do slack off on his math homework some, but it is just online practice for facts that he's known for 3 years. No qualms from the teacher. I would stick with the program if he needed the reinforcement, but since he's mastered it I'd prefer him to spend his time practicing violin or, frankly, just playing.

[daisysmom]

I have just one child, but we find homework hard to manage with just one child and two working parents. While my DD (1st grade) can do homework in her aftercare program (30 min) she never finishes it there and they don't check it, so it often needs to be redone (high level of distraction there). We ususally have worksheets, word sorting, spelling practice, and 10 minutes of reading and write an "I wonder" note which means kids have to write a sentence or few about what they have read/wondered about at the end of the chapter... so it requires thinking, talking, etc. not just writing. We get home at 6 pm, eat dinner, practice an instrument, and sometimes have sports or other commitments. Homework has been my number 1 struggle and we are two (WOTH) parents with just one child!! Franly, it is the one motivating reason for me to cut back further on work. It drives my DH crazy to hear the homework battles at 8 pm at night.

[mommylamb]

Our district does homework too, even for Kindergarteners. I am not a fan. Though, 30-45 minutes seems totally excessive. Sometimes it can take DS1 (first grade now) a good 30 minutes to do it, but that's usually because he doesn't want to and is fighting it. Often, I just don't force the issue. I've talked to his teacher about it, and she agrees with me actually (but it's a district policy). She recommended that I not force the issue every night, and that if it's a choice between 20 minutes of reading and 20 minutes of homework, to do the reading. DS1 does very well in school, so it's not like he needs homework for the repetition. It's just to get him in the habit of having homework so he'll be prepared to devote a portion of the evening to it as he gets older. It is especially hard because I don't get home with him until around 6 pm, and he goes to bed at 8.

Like you, I also have a younger child (22 months), and it is really difficult to do homework with DS1 with DS2 there. I usually sit DS2 at the table with us and give him some markers and paper, but he is constantly asking for more markers, drawing on himself, attempting to put markers in his mouth, etc. It is really hard to sit and work with DS1 with him there. And he won't go and watch TV during homework time. He insists on being part of it. Lots of "me too" and then screaming if he isn't at the table to do his "homework". Usually DH is cooking dinner during this time, so he can't really help. I dread homework time every night.

[squimp]

I also feel that is a lot of homework for a kindy kid. I also do not help DD with her homework, never really have. She's in 4th now and all I do is check it. I really dislike homework for parents.

I have been known to talk with the teacher about homework if I feel like it's not working. Who knows, other parents may feel the same. Maybe it's not supposed to take 45 minutes. I know with our math homework, if it takes more than 45 minutes they tell us to stop because something is not right, either the kid is missing something, or the teacher overshot.

[Green_Tea]

Well, I probably wouldn't do it, so I'm no help. I would be appalled at that much homework for a kindy kid. My kids got (virtually) no homework in K. Even in first, my kids got pretty little.



:yeahthat: I would decline to do the homework. The expectation that a kindergardener should do 45 minutes of homework a night is age inappropriate and there is little to no research to support it helping advance a kid academically.

[egoldber]

Mommylamb, it is absolutely NOT a district policy. Neither of the elementary schools my kids went to routinely gave homework in K. My first graders got (get) it only intermittently and we are told if it takes too long, to stop. Each school's policy is in general set by the principal of the school. Sometimes the individual grade level will have a particular philosophy. But if my kid was struggling to do nightly homework, I would tell the teacher and only do what you feel is reasonable.

ETA: It really irks me when the schools blame policy when it is not. I do think that the district policies are deliberately vague.

Here is the official policy: http://www.boarddocs.com/vsba/fairfax/Board.nsf/legacy-content/867SLA2A9049/$FILE/R3205.pdf

[GoBlue]

DIscussions like this make me want to quit my job and homeschool.

There is not a chance in hell that we will be doing 45 minutes of homework in kindergarten. I didnt do homework until third grade, and I attended a top 10 medical school. Not a chance.

[magnoliaparadise]

Hi,

OP here. I am completely against homework, too, but I think I probably overstated how much we get.

My DD gets a weekly homework assignment once a week. Each weekly assignment includes:
- at least 20 minutes or '4 books' to read each night;
- Plus filling in the reading log, which actually takes some time;
- And then about 1-2 sheets of (fun) word problems (math);
- And sometimes one page of short reading comprehension and questions.

And the start of HW at the beginning of the year to date was slow so it has been only recently that it has accumulated to so much and takes more time.

The truth is also that even though the homework is 'weekly', we often stuff it into more like 3-4 days a week - and thus the '30 - 45 minutes' estimate. If done all 5 days, it would be more like 25 - 35 minutes, so more reasonable. Still, though, I agree that even that homework is probably way over-rated for kindergarteners.

The problem for my DD is that as her reading level slowly advances, the books, which used to be very simple and short, are actually getting longer and much harder and she needs to finish each book to fill in the log - so she goes over the required 20 minutes. The other day, one of her books took 25 minutes to read and we had another 3 to go after that! I might talk to her teacher about that part and see if we can decrease the number of (4) books on the log that she has to read each night. Lots of kids are at her level (ie it's not that my DD is way advanced in class and thus reading extremely long books), but maybe it's just too much for our family.

I appreciate all your comments about entertaining/distracting my 2 yo, and including her (and MommyLamb, I laughed when you talked about your toddler drawing on himself, asking for more magic markers, and eating the pens - I so can relate).

I also appreciated all of your views on talking to the teacher and the view that homework isn't 'my' responsibility and if my DD is reluctant and doesn't get it done, I can just send her in with incomplete homework.

Thanks!

[Piglet]

That made me tired just reading the homework! Our school is only working on letter sounds in kindergarten and just transitioning to reading in grade 1. DD is very much at grade level or slightly above and even she (in grade 1) would be overwhelmed with that kind of homework. Ours consists of 10 minutes of reading a night (either books sent home or books chosen from home), a quick signature in the log book and sometimes a worksheet.

[California]

Our strategy, which might work for you, is to offer to have your DD work for 20 minutes a night, and then after she's done that to draw a line through where you stopped, initial it and write "20 Minutes Done." That way the teacher knows you've put in the effort and stopped at a reasonable amount. Is it a half day or full day kinder program? If it's half day, the homework is almost like a little mini-homeschooling session giving your DD some one-to-one time. It's really hard for a teacher to meet with each student regularly (depending on class size) in a half-day session. It's not easy actually in a full day, either! But a full day does give a teacher more time to keep tabs on how each child is doing.

For your 2 year old, agree with PP that providing some "homework" might be helpful. We did that with our youngest and it's actually made the transition to school easier. She had a basket of supplies and a pre-k activity book that were kept up and out of reach except for at homework time.

[magnoliaparadise]

Hi,
Thanks, Piglet and California - good ideas. I like the idea of drawing a line through the homework reading and saying '20 minutes done', but I'm not sure my DD will go along with it. She is a total rule follower (except, err, may I say - at home) and may balk if she feels that she is not doing the homework 'right'. So - I might have to write to the teacher and suggest that idea and ask her to talk to my DD directly.
Thanks!

[essnce629]

I feel your pain but have no suggestions!

DS1 had pretty much no homework in K.

He went to a different school for 1st and 2nd grade and had a bunch of homework every night (usually 2 math worksheets and 2 writing worksheets, plus the 20 minutes of reading). It was a huge battle every day to get him to do his homework and I often had to help him. Lots of fits to get him to start and usually 2 hours had passed before it was all done. The homework issue was one of the major negatives at the school he was at.

In 3rd grade DS1 switched to a new charter school. The homework load is pretty light and DS1 hasn't complained since we switched schools. No more homework battles and DS1 must do his homework and chores before any screen time. He does it without me even asking.

DS1 no longer needs me to help with homework. He's in 5th grade now and I don't even look at it. It was the same way in 4th grade as well. We'll see how middle school goes next year!

I expect there to be very little homework next year when DS2 starts K at the same charter.

[niccig]

There is not a chance in hell that we will be doing 45 minutes of homework in kindergarten.

The homework may not take all kids 45 mins. It may only be 20 mins of work, but if you have a kid that takes forever to get started, DRAGS it out and complains over every.little.thing they have to do and then has a melt down because they hate it, it can take 45 mins. When DS just sits down and does it, he can knock it out in no time. The days he fights, I want to :banghead:

[egoldber]

OP, I still think that is WAY too much homework for K. That's more like what my first grader gets and she doesn't get that every week.

[Melaine]

OP, I still think that is WAY too much homework for K. That's more like what my first grader gets and she doesn't get that every week.

I am a homeschooler, so I probably view it differently than most but I completely agree that that is excessive for K. days are so long for them and to have to come home and do more desk work really really bothers me. I think it is setting up kids to dislike reading and school or view it as work which is so counter productive to enthusiastic learning, what we all want for our kids. if it were me with the reading log (this is what we do ourselves) is I would take a trip to the library, check out a whole bunch of books and fill in the reading log all at once. Then over the week, before you return the books make sure all have been read. Just read each night for as long as you want. Any extra books, you can read aloud on the weekends. (We do a mix of them reading and me reading still). I would make sure the kids get outdoor play time after school, and that would be that. On the other hand, I don't want my kids to think homework is optional so I don't know what I would really do. But I really feel homework in K is ridiculous.

ETA I totally feel your pain as I homeschool two 1st graders and deal with my high energy toddler. It is a constant struggle. He does not care about projects or crafts I try to do with him and all he really wants is to climb or destroy stuff. This is a frustrating phase for us!

[westwoodmom04]

OP, we have a similar homework amount for K, and I do think there are ways to make it easier. First, we always do the reading at bedtime since that was when we usually read with our children. At "homework time," that means we have only one short worksheet to do or one sentence to wrote, both my kids have been able to do that within the 5 to 10 minutes the teacher suggests it should take.

As for the reading, most everyone I know fills out the reading log for their kindergartener and first grader, and I have never heard a teacher complain. Second, in kindergarten, I mixed books that I read to my child with books that she/he read to me on the reading log. Our kindergarten teacher had no issue with this, and thought it was great that we read books like The Hobbit and Charlotte's Web to our child. I suspect that your reading requirement is 20 minutes or 4 books, whichever is shorter. Even if it isn't, that's how I would interpret it. After K, the reading was entirely independent and I just timed it.

[ckso]

I have a 2 and a 5 yr old too. 45 min is an insane amount of homework. Kinder is the grade they're still learning to sit still and can't expect to stay focus on homework for that long

But then looking at your list, I realize that DD gets roughly the same amount of hw with the exception that it's assigned and due daily not weekly. HW is Monday to Thursday only and nothing is ever assigned on Friday or weekends

Maybe because it's done daily I feel like it only takes about 10-20 min a day. She picks a book from the class library daily that I read to her. And the worksheets are pretty simple like cutting out numbers and match to picture. Coloring. Sometimes the teacher will ask her to find a picture in a magazine or ad that begins with a particular letter and that takes a little longer but it's not a daily thing.

Usually I'll try to do the homework while my 2 yr old is napping. If I can't do that then I have stuff for Dd2 to so at the table like coloring or playdoh etc. We're big readers here so that part doesn't bother me even if the books are longer. But usually the books she comes home with are kinder level short books with 1 sentence pages.


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[randomkid]

I agree with PPs - that is a lot of homework for K. IMO, if the reading assignment is "20 minutes or 4 books", I'd go with what comes first. If it takes 20 minutes to read one book, then your done. I think expecting a Kindergartener to read that many books is not reasonable. Or, I would let her help read one book, then read the others to her. My DD didn't have to start reading and filling in a log until 1st grade. They had to read 15 minutes/night. There was no assigned reading, just 15 minutes. When DD was in K, she had 4-5 pages to complete for the week. The packet was sent home on Monday with the idea of doing one page per night. It was usually so quick, that we would do it in 2 nights and rarely spent more than 10-15 minutes/night on it. In the lower grades, the thought at our school is 10 minutes a night x grade, so 2nd grade would be 20 minutes, 3rd grade 30 minutes, etc. Therefore, K was less than 10 minutes/night. This is in addition to reading. Even now in in 3rd grade, DD only has to read 20 minutes. In 2nd, they had to write 3-5 sentences about what they read, but this year they only read and fill in a log because they have other homework.

I would be very inclined to request a conference with the teacher and ask exactly what her expectations are for this homework, then see if she has any suggestions. You should not have to spend 30-45 minutes/night, even if you skip a night. So, my suggestion is - read the books to your DD and have her help, try to do some every night even if it's only part of the homework so you aren't doubling up on some nights, conference with the teacher. I will say that it does get easier. Even though DD is in 3rd, which is a tough year, she does 80% or more of her homework herself. I then check it and explain what she has missed. I help her study for quizzes and tests and help with projects. She does the work first, then I help her with whatever she is struggling with. By the time your 2yo is in K, your older DD shouldn't need as much help. My biggest struggle is getting DD to sit still long enough to get it done. Another reason I think that much homework in K is unreasonable. Not many 5 year olds can sit still long enough to do all of that!

[squimp]

After seeing what you wrote, that is similar to what we had in K. We had 20 minutes of reading every day and worksheet once in the week. We had a terrific teacher and it was definitely not about common core. The difference is that kids read what they wanted to read. Are they expecting all the kids to read the same material? IME being a reading helper in K and 1, there is a huge range in reading abilities at that age. It sounds to me like there is a mismatch between the teacher's expectations and DDs abilities. I would probably send a note back to the teacher explaining how it is going and if she has any strategies to help make homework less painful.

[kboyle]

ds1 (10y 5th gr) does his math hw at school while waiting for his bus, so when he comes home at 3:09 i check it and have him do anything else that needs to be done.

ds3 (6y 1st gr) gets his hw packet on fridays and they are due the following fri, we generally get all his hw done over the weekend or beginning of the week

ds2 (8y 2nd gr) gets his hw packet on mon and due the following mon. his teacher assigns a TON of hw, about 12 pages/packet, so we do 2 pages a night and tend to slack by week's end so make up the rest on sundays.

i probably log about 2 hrs of each day helping with hw between ds1 & ds2. they have very hw heavy classes, whereas i have friends with same aged kids in same school and they have a lot less... thank goodness my kids have a routine and they don't complain about doing it!

[o_mom]

For the most part, I don't help with homework beyond making sure they have a place and time to do it. I do not check their homework other than for completion and a quick glance that they didn't totally miss directions, etc. If they have questions on how to do something or want me to explain something, I will, but homework is their responsibility. In 3rd and 4th grade, I just ask/remind them to do it and that's it. They know that if they don't get it done they will have to explain to the teacher and they will lose the privilege of doing it when they choose.

I do think what you describe sounds excessive for K and I would meet with the teacher to discuss and even tell her we wouldn't be doing that much. My 4th grader does not have that much homework. Last year in K, DS3 had a packet of four math sheets each week, most with 2-5 problems and could be done in 5 min or less. We were to read nightly, but we do that anyway at bedtime and there was no log required. Occasionally they would have specific books sent home at their level, but we just put them in the nightly reading time. Now in first grade, he has a math sheet M-R nights (again, 5 min) and spelling words, but I quiz him on Monday and if he knows them we don't study any more. This is in a high-performing, high-achieving, affluent district with a whole raft of Tiger moms and the school has still taken the stand that excessive homework is not good for anyone.

[baileygirl]

Honestly, it sounds like there is a miscommunication with how long she is supposed to be reading. Maybe she is supposed to be reading 1 a night? Or the teacher doesn't realize how long it is taking her? Does she read them first with the teacher? I think 15-20 minutes of nightly reading (and then you reading to her) is pretty standard for K. DS1 didn't receive any worksheets in K, but if he had 1-3 a week I would have had him do them. We did what a pp mentioned and did reading before bedtime, and it worked well for us.

[magnoliaparadise]

OP here, thanks for your interesting views.
Just to clarify: I went to the homework sheet today and it actually doesn't say '20 minutes OR 4 books' like I had thought it did.
It says: "Please read with an adult for 20 minutes, four times a week. Read up to four books each time."
So it's more of a 20 minutes AND 4 books.
However - the teacher is great, reasonable, and very good at what she does, so I am sure that I can talk with her about it and ask her advice. I just wrote to her and outlined the problem - I think the crux of the problem is that some of the books are just way too hard - one homework book from a bin that my daughter picked this week has 36 pages of text (about 4 - 10 lines each page). It was so long that it took me (not even my daughter!) 5 minutes to read out loud to her! I think I'm going to just ask her if we can be on the same page for me to toss the books when they are too tough and go on the internet and find easier ones for my daughter to read. The 'bin' level of books (we do anywhere from A to Z) seems to have a lot of variation within each bin.
Thanks, everyone.

[o_mom]

OP here, thanks for your interesting views.
Just to clarify: I went to the homework sheet today and it actually doesn't say '20 minutes OR 4 books' like I had thought it did.
It says: "Please read with an adult for 20 minutes, four times a week. Read up to four books each time."
So it's more of a 20 minutes AND 4 books.
However - the teacher is great, reasonable, and very good at what she does, so I am sure that I can talk with her about it and ask her advice. I just wrote to her and outlined the problem - I think the crux of the problem is that some of the books are just way too hard - one homework book from a bin that my daughter picked this week has 36 pages of text (about 4 - 10 lines each page). It was so long that it took me (not even my daughter!) 5 minutes to read out loud to her! I think I'm going to just ask her if we can be on the same page for me to toss the books when they are too tough and go on the internet and find easier ones for my daughter to read. The 'bin' level of books (we do anywhere from A to Z) seems to have a lot of variation within each bin.
Thanks, everyone.

If it says 20 min, up to four books, to me that means stopping at 20 min even if you only read half a book. Not that you have to read four books every time.

Also, I would not toss a book that is too hard for her to read the whole thing solo. I would either read those aloud and count that time, or if it isn't too hard, just too long for her, alternate pages with her or have her read just the first page or two and you read the rest. There is great value in her hearing the book read to her. Again, stopping at 20 min even if you only read one book in that time.

[westwoodmom04]

If it says 20 min, up to four books, to me that means stopping at 20 min even if you only read half a book. Not that you have to read four books every time.

Also, I would not toss a book that is too hard for her to read the whole thing solo. I would either read those aloud and count that time, or if it isn't too hard, just too long for her, alternate pages with her or have her read just the first page or two and you read the rest. There is great value in her hearing the book read to her. Again, stopping at 20 min even if you only read one book in that time.

I agree with this -- I also read it as 20 minutes and then stop. We also do the alternative pages as reading when a book is more challenging. Are they allowed to read books they have at home or does it need to be only books supplied by the teacher?

[magnoliaparadise]

Huh! Maybe I've been misunderstanding it this whole time! I will clarify with the teacher!
They are allowed to read any book that they want, but they have to include the ones supplied by the teacher (really ones that they picked out themselves within their level in the classroom).
And yes, I agree with the alternative page. We will do that more.
Thanks for your thoughts!

[nfowife]

I haven't read through the whole thread, so forgive me. It definitely sounds like 20 minutes is the limit for reading- UP TO 4 books if you have time and they are short. In addition, when your DD is picking a book out, have her do the 5 finger rule. Open to the first page. If you get to a word you don't know hold up a finger and skip the word. If you put up all fingers on your hand before you get to the end of the page it's too hard for you to read independently. Put the book down and look for another! And you reading a book to her- like 20 minutes of a chapter book each night- has GREAT value. Short stories she can read on her own will not have the same plot development, character traits, etc.

My son is in 1st and there is no homework. 1-2 times a week the teacher sends home a book for us to read together that she has picked out for my DS and they have already read together so he's familiar with the story. That's it! We do read together, but sometimes it's 40 minutes one night and nothing the next, etc. No logs! Hurrah!

DD has nightly homework that the teacher specifies should take 10-15 minutes plus nightly reading (no log). Sometimes it takes longer but as long as my DD isn't getting frustrated I have her finish. If she starts to get upset our instructions from the teacher are to stop at 15 minutes and write a note on the paper and return it. Plus she does reading on her own before bed.

As an aside I used to teach K-2 pre-kids and expected a reading log to be filled out nightly. Now that I am a parent I see what a PITA it is! So many things I'd change if I went back to teaching now....though I don't plan to :).

http://www.alfiekohn.org/teaching/rethinkinghomework.htm

[egoldber]

If it says 20 min, up to four books, to me that means stopping at 20 min even if you only read half a book. Not that you have to read four books every time.

That's would I think also.

And FWIW, I never did the nightly reading with either kid. We read a lot on our own when it suits our schedule and strikes our fancy. And both kids are prolific and fluent readers.

ETA: Younger DD has a "log", but it's monthly. They get a sheet each month with several stars on it and they are supposed to color in a star each time they read for 5-10 minutes. Every so often I tell her to color in some stars. When they finish one, they can take it in and get another one, but that is "extra". They are "due" at the end of the month. I find this type of log much easier and much less stressful than the ones where you have to list the books. You can also count time that a parent reads to them.