Thanks, MIL. I feel much better now.

[bisous]

I'm not usually sensitive about my weight. I'm also not really a competitive person. You look fantastic? Great, that doesn't diminish me at all.

MIL is a generally nice person with whom I have a decent relationship.

BUT, I'm recovering from a really tough c-section, from my 4th pregnancy and I'm carrying extra weight. I'm feeling sensitive about it because my clothes don't fit.

So MIL, even though I usually like to joy in other people's triumphs, now might NOT be the best time to share that you could wear your regular jeans to leave the hospital after the birth of your twins... I mean good for you and everything, but that story was from 37 years ago and your twins were 7 weeks early because you weren't very healthy. However, I acknowledge that for your age you look fantastic and very thin. I'm glad that you like the way you look then and now.

If I'm not super enthusiastic to congratulate you though, maybe that will make you think about the stories you choose to share with a woman 6 weeks pp. And do go and call me "jealous", okay? I'm not. I'm happy for you but it just points out to me that I'm not very cute right now.

That's all.

[Simon]

:22::hug5: 6 weeks pp is a very hard place to be even without a clueless MIL. I'm sorry she's being such a pill right now and I hope someone can set her straight if she is so insensitive as so mention it again!

[Twoboos]

It must have been a thing back then. MIL also left the hospital in her regular clothes, I have been told more than once. I think I responded with, "Oh, huh."

Really, who CARES what they wore 30-40 years ago when they left the hospital?? It must be on a Really Important Scorecard somewhere.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

huge hugs. i hate those comments. there's a local mom of twins (less than a year old) who is super thin brags that she only gained 30 lbs with her pregnancy and was out of maternity clothes 2 weeks PP (and her twins weren't preemies). she lives in my subdivision and i saw her jogging every morning when they were like just a few weeks old (yeah that 1 year rule is totally ignored here). I think some people are really fanatical about losing baby weight. i'm sure that was especially the case in the 70s.

don't feel bad. i'm 2.5 YEARS out and i still don't fit into half of my pre-pregnancy jeans. despite losing all the baby weight (which it took me 2 years to do). i'm on the smaller side and have a smallish-frame, so i think it's harder. i gained weight when nursing.

[hillview]

REALLY? WTF. Sorry that is so wrong. I am impressed you didn't punch her :)

[petesgirl]

Oh, do we have the same MIL? Very insensitive...

[georgiegirl]

I'm sorry. Some people are so insensitive.

[mmommy]

I think you must be the SIL I haven't met. My MIL tells the same story. Shame on them both.

[hellokitty]

I'm sorry. That was very insensitive of her. How did you respond? My mil commented after I had ds1 to my dh that I, "didn't look that bad.". I think she meant it as a compliment, because I only gained 10 lbs due to hyperemesis, BUT I was super pissed that she even felt the need to make ANY kind of comment about the state of my body when I less than one wk postpartum. Plus, hyperemesis sucks, I had it for all three pregnancies and was unable to enjoy being pregnant, which was another thing that my mil was insensitive to as well. Of course, due to the hyperemesis, I lose the wt quickly, but I'm so starved for food, I always GAIN wt afterwards, esp since I bf too. So, just because You lose your weight quickly postpartum, it definitely doesn't mean much. I couldn't fit into any of my pre-pregnancy clothes even when I was down to that same wt anyway.

[bisous]

It all started when I mentioned that DD is sleeping well. She started a diatribe about how people are so "jealous" and to be careful who I told that to. She then went on in detail about all the people that were so mad at her for fitting in her jeans after her twins and how she could wear the same dress as when she was a teenager and blah, blah, blah. (Not the same subject but I can see how she got there, kind of.) The conversation was LONG about how skinny and tiny she was though!

Honestly, if I wasn't so big (by the scale) this time around I would almost take it as a compliment because seriously who goes into a lengthy description of how skinny they were pp in front of someone who is not!! But I'm wondering if in a small part of her mind it was self-satisfying to her to say that to me. Which is why I don't think it was very nice. Most of the time I feel "fine" about my extra weight. I'm admittedly a vain person and it is something that I'm working on. But honestly, I'm SO happy to have DD here and I know that this is just a phase of life thing. I don't want to wish the weeks away or spend my time wallowing as this is my last child and it is going so fast anyway! My kids don't care about my size at all and DH is still happy with the way that I look. Or at least he says he is. And he was raised by MIL, lol.

I pretty just said, "Wow, you were so small" because after such a conversation I wasn't about to be one of those "jealous" people who couldn't stand to see her in her levi's.

What I wish I had said was something to the effect of, "I'm certainly not someone to be upset at seeing a pp woman who looks really nice. I'd even be one of the first to congratulate her! But I do think it is insensitive to talk about how skinny you were in front of someone who just had a baby. I know you probably didn't mean to do it, but it hurt my feelings." I can never put my feelings together eloquently in the moment, though. I'm MUCH better about figuring out what I want to say a couple of hours later--not terribly helpful for me.

[MamaMolly]

Oh please. Jeans from 30 years ago? Those were mom jeans with pleats in the front and elastic waist. Big whoop.

[hellokitty]

It all started when I mentioned that DD is sleeping well. She started a diatribe about how people are so "jealous" and to be careful who I told that to. She then went on in detail about all the people that were so mad at her for fitting in her jeans after her twins and how she could wear the same dress as when she was a teenager and blah, blah, blah. (Not the same subject but I can see how she got there, kind of.) The conversation was LONG about how skinny and tiny she was though!

Honestly, if I wasn't so big (by the scale) this time around I would almost take it as a compliment because seriously who goes into a lengthy description of how skinny they were pp in front of someone who is not!! But I'm wondering if in a small part of her mind it was self-satisfying to her to say that to me. Which is why I don't think it was very nice. Most of the time I feel "fine" about my extra weight. I'm admittedly a vain person and it is something that I'm working on. But honestly, I'm SO happy to have DD here and I know that this is just a phase of life thing. I don't want to wish the weeks away or spend my time wallowing as this is my last child and it is going so fast anyway! My kids don't care about my size at all and DH is still happy with the way that I look. Or at least he says he is. And he was raised by MIL, lol.

I pretty just said, "Wow, you were so small" because after such a conversation I wasn't about to be one of those "jealous" people who couldn't stand to see her in her levi's.

What I wish I had said was something to the effect of, "I'm certainly not someone to be upset at seeing a pp woman who looks really nice. I'd even be one of the first to congratulate her! But I do think it is insensitive to talk about how skinny you were in front of someone who just had a baby. I know you probably didn't mean to do it, but it hurt my feelings." I can never put my feelings together eloquently in the moment, though. I'm MUCH better about figuring out what I want to say a couple of hours later--not terribly helpful for me.

Wow, well I will give you a compliment. You are a very nice person. I don't think I would have responded as well as you did. I totally, "get" what you mean though, about how she kind of was fishing for a compliment about her skinny postpartum self, while being insensitive to where you are at right now. Anyway, I think that you have a great attitude about this, I just remember fuming when I caught wind of mil making a comment to my dh and then later on had a melt down when something else happened that day (my lovely mom decided to invite a bunch of relatives over to meet the baby w/o asking me first and we were stuck having to figure out how to feed them), and my dh was like, "do you have postpartum depression?" Yes, if you count my mom and mil driving me crazy = postpartum depression.

[niccig]

Oh please. Jeans from 30 years ago? Those were mom jeans with pleats in the front and elastic waist. Big whoop.

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical: