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View Full Version : Exhausted, Worn Out, and Feeling Unappreciated



lizzywednesday
12-20-2013, 01:12 PM
Let me preface this by saying that I know my DH is a good guy who really makes a huge effort to make DD and I feel loved, secure, and safe. And I know that he really went the extra mile for me for Christmas this year.

But, when I told him last night that I hadn't gotten him anything for Christmas (and what I did get wasn't on his list, but I still think he'll like it) and started to apologize, the first words out of his mouth were "what happened?"

REALLY?

After we had the gift-grabby nephew at Sunday's family party? With whom BOTH of us had a quiet word about how, perhaps, he'd missed the point of Christmas, and maybe it would still be Christmas without presents? (I think his excitement and the way he's expressing it is developmentally appropriate at 7-going-on-8, but it really rubbed DH and me the wrong way.)

Yes, I have cash-flow issues this time of year, but it's especially horrible this year.

This month sucked - I had to be in my hometown three days in a row for funeral stuff and then rehearsal.

When you don't come up with a list of "wants" or "could use" stuff until the week AFTER Thanksgiving (which is when my grandmother died), I can't shop for you bit-by-bit.

When you also start to harass me about food shopping and forget that I'm the one who buys gifts for your nieces, one of whom never writes "thank you" notes (or even expresses the least bit of gratitude), and nephew (who cornered us both with the gift-grabbiness) as well as for DD, MY nephews, and tries to keep it together so as not to bounce the effing daycare check, I kind of feel like **** already.

But asking me "what happened?"

Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

Next year, you can do the shopping, cards, errand running, and all that other sh!t. I'm frigging done.

crl
12-20-2013, 01:45 PM
:hug:

Catherine

babyonway
12-20-2013, 04:05 PM
I am so sorry. Many hugs to you!

♥ms.pacman♥
12-20-2013, 04:10 PM
Eek, I am so sorry your DH said that. Hoping he just didn't realize how totally clueless/ungrateful it sounded when he asked what happened, and he steps up to the plate. And so sorry about your grandmother. Lots of hugs.

abh5e8
12-20-2013, 05:36 PM
oh, so sorry mama. hopefully you 2 can reconcile soon. holiday stress is enough, but with a recent death on top of that, its really tough.

(and maybe i misunderstand...but you said you didn't get him anything but that you already got him something, just not from his list? so he was mad his gift is not on his list?)

lizzywednesday
12-21-2013, 10:12 PM
OK, so we talked it out after I got home from rehearsal last night.

I had (thankfully) misinterpreted what he meant by "what happened" … I guess feeling really crappy over the nephew was coloring my total worldview. He was genuinely concerned about my finances (we keep our money separate for the most part to keep each other sane) but I totally took it the wrong way.

Also, lack of sleep doesn't help any of us! (I had late rehearsals Thursday, Friday, this afternoon, and tomorrow's my concert. Eek!)

He's a good guy.