How is this already starting?

[BabyBearsMom]

DD1 is turning 4 in April. She is big for her age (43" and 36lbs) and the other parents from preschool are already starting to talk about moving their kids to the boosters. And I, inevitably, get the "You are so lucky that DD1 is so big, she will hit the weight limit soon!" or even a few "She is practically there, I don't see why you can't move her now." I don't like to push my beliefs on other so I always just brush it off with remarks like "I don't mind the carseat." Or "she is so comfy and has so much room in her current seat, I don't see the point of moving her." But then people push! "Oh it will be so much easier!" or "you don't want her in a baby seat when all of her friends are in a booster!" or my personal favorite "You can't keep her in a bubble forever." And this inevitably leads to the "Why haven't you turned DD2 yet? My kids just hated being rear facing and I can't stand not being able to see their faces!" to which I want to respond " DD2 isn't even 2 yet. Thankfully, my response of "The girls love being able to look at each other and talk while they are facing opposite directions, I can't bare to separate them!" usually works. Yes, DD2 is well over 20lbs (the little beast is closing in on 30lbs already), yes she is very tall for her age, and no her legs are not cramped. In fact, she loves to rub her feet on the leather seats and look at herself in the mirror and talk to her sister. I just want to say "STFU!" It is just so annoying.

[ArizonaGirl]

Oh Honey I hear you.

Only it is from my DH family, you know because my nephew has been FF since he was 10 or 11 months old, YES you read that right. My niece has been in a backless booster since she was 3 and she weighs less than my 5 year old now (he only weighs 36 lbs and is still harnessed) and she is 5 1/2.

DD is still RF and she only weighs 18 lbs but I am just a terrible person for keeping her RF because she must hate riding that way and how can I know what she is doing if I can't see her.:rolleye0014:

[TwinFoxes]

How annoying! We finally just (as in two weeks ago) put DDs in HBB. They are slightly bigger than your DD...but almost 6! We got the HBB because kiss and ride was just too difficult at school, and it's been so cold I didn't want to park and walk them in. Thankfully, no one ever said anything to me about them being in 5pt seats...other than my ILs. :irked: Pretty much every time we saw them we got a comment about their seats...first their buckets, then rear facing, then 5pt. Now I guess I can look forward to being told to put them in just seatbelts in a few years.

ETA: AZ girl, I remember finally turning DDs, I think they were four. Anyway, our first ride they kept shouting "SLOW DOWN" because I guess it seemed we were flying along. They were amazed by the view. It was pretty funny. But they had no idea what they were missing before, so it never bothered them.

[elektra]

Again with your nice face! ;)
I don't think a single person has ever made a comment to me about car seats IRL like that. I don't think many people see us loading and unloading though, so DD doesn't seem to be aware that her other classmates are quite possibly all in boosters and she is not.
And my SIL's know where I stand on the issue and we just agree to disagree.
I have had discussions with people though, and think I have just said, "it's safer". And too the bubble comment, I have just said that it's actually the #1 way kids die- in car accidents, so I want to do what I can in that regard.
FTR, I didn't start my DD in boosters here and there until she was 6, and she is still harnessed in my car (but not in DH's or other cars).

[crl]

That would be so annoying! No one has ever commented negatively on my car seat use either. My dd is also big and turning four in April and she will definitely be staying in her seat until she outgrows it! If she outgrows it too early, we will be buying a forward facing only harnessed seat before going to a booster--like I did with ds who was harnessed until he was six. Dd was rear facing until three.

I would be so tempted to start replying with, "the car seat is so much safer, I just love my little girl too much to switch her to a booster. Don't you love your little one?" Or to start offering you tube crash video links. . . .

Catherine

[♥ms.pacman♥]

hah, way ahead of you over here. around here people put 2-3 yos in backless boosters. it's typically 0-1yo in a infant seat, then 1yo-2.5yo in a FF convertible, then 2.5yo+ in a backless booster. i am a freak bc i still rear face my 4yo and nearly 3-year-old. even other kids comment on it ("mommy, why are their seats facing the wrong way??") bc it is such a RARE occurrence to see a non-infant seat RF. carseat safety is just not a priority here. :shrug:

most common comment is "how do they let you put them like that? my kid would NEVER allow it" um, bc that's all they've ever known? and yes, sometimes my DD doesn't want to get into her carseat and wants to sit in the front seat, doesn't mean i have to allow it.

and this is why i will never carpool with anyone until my kids are in grade school. lol

[lizzywednesday]

I must be lucky - I actually had someone ask me for tips on how to keep an older child RFing! (I turned my DD on her 3rd birthday, which was still 2 years longer than my sister kept my nephews RFing.)

Sorry to hear that your DD1's classmates' moms aren't as up on the latest safety recommendations as you are. *sigh*

I only started to get static from DH. My response was that I'd done the research and my conclusion was extended rear-facing was much safer than turning her "just because" everyone else was turning their kids. (Also, I wanted to know which of his family members were giving him a hard time about MY child rear-facing past 1yr/20lbs.)

Pat answers are your friend in this case.

[jench]

I have gotten lots of similar comments (mostly re: 5yo still harnessed, although now he is 6 in HBB mode, and 9 yo still in her very comfy HBB) and I just tell them Eh, car seats are my "thing".

[Philly Mom]

I get it from my BFF who should know better. DD1 is only 2.5. She is small. She will remain RF for a while. BFF has three kids. All were FF by 11 months and her middle was in a HBB at 2 3/4. She claims that she must be close to 40lbs and since her 4 year old sat in one she couldn't say no to her middle. I have a hard time biting my tongue even when she is making fun of my extended RF. I am thankful that my brother lets me pick his car seats and my parents say nothing.


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[ZeeBaby]

Thankfully I only got the DD looks uncomfortable rear facing from my sister. My response was she's ok. End of discussion. Never got much more then that. DD1 is still in her MA. At drop-off, I just have her unbuckle when we are the next car. Doesn't really take much longer. We may do a HBB in June when she turns 6. Still not ready for that.

[MamaMolly]

I got static at drop off/pick up from the TEACHERS Lula's school when she was still harnessed at 5yo. Totally and completely pi$$ed me off. She's 7 and in a HBB. Dolly is in the Radian and will be harnessed for a LONG time because she is a wild woman and would probably try to drive if I put her in a booster at 4yo.

[BabyBearsMom]

Elektra, I think I need to hire you to coach me in BRF!

[KLD313]

I get this from my mother every time I see her. She says her legs looks squished and I say well it'd better than her neck snapping amd then she says I know you say that but and I say but nothing I'm not changing her yet. It is becoming a pain to get it her on the seat though, like I dread going out because it's so hard to get her in.

[BunnyBee]

Yes, and you're going to let her try hood surfing next. No bubble for your kids!

Why do these nuts think they have a right to comment on your parenting choices? Is there on online BRF refresher course? ;)

[123LuckyMom]

I would be so tempted to start replying with, "the car seat is so much safer, I just love my little girl too much to switch her to a booster. Don't you love your little one?" Or to start offering you tube crash video links. . . .

Catherine

I'd be tempted, too! I got lots of flack in my town, but I was educated by this board, and I educated my BFF, so we supported each other. When I was chided, I did say, "Well, I used to think that way, too until I learned how much safer it is to rear face as long as possible (or harness, or whatever). I'd be happy to send you some links to that safety information if you're interested." They never were, but it usually stopped the comments. Also, I've pulled out the old standard, "Better a broken leg than a broken neck," and "As soon as I learned about internal decapitation, I decided to RF as long as I possibly could." I used those two mostly on my mother.

[crl]

I'd be tempted, too! I got lots of flack in my town, but I was educated by this board, and I educated my BFF, so we supported each other. When I was chided, I did say, "Well, I used to think that way, too until I learned how much safer it is to rear face as long as possible (or harness, or whatever). I'd be happy to send you some links to that safety information if you're interested." They never were, but it usually stopped the comments. Also, I've pulled out the old standard, "Better a broken leg than a broken neck," and "As soon as I learned about internal decapitation, I decided to RF as long as I possibly could." I used those two mostly on my mother.

When dh asked me when we were going to turn dd around (she was about 15 months, I started going on about the safety issues and said "internal decaptiation". He immediately promised to never ever ask again if I promised to never ever say those words in front of him again. Done. Thanks BBB!

Catherine

[belovedgandp]

Oh, the ability to give a snappy comeback is something I'm trying to develop it though. So sorry you are going through this. Educate as you can and work on retorts as you come up with them.

[newnana]

... I started going on about the safety issues and said "internal decaptiation". He immediately promised to never ever ask again if I promised to never ever say those words in front of him again. Done. Thanks BBB!

Catherine

:yeahthat:

I also live in an area where car seat use is the minority and the majority of the folks pressuring me to lighten up were either in my family or my ILs. Thank goodness for the truckloads of information I had from the BBB to respond, but the single most effective 2 words on the planet to utter are "internal decapitation" to any crowd. Since I'm lacking in BRF and need a course, I've learned this the hard way. And I stopped tiptoeing around it about 5 years ago.

Bless you folks for giving me to tools to make those commenting on my parenting choices blanche. Because my typical, "it makes me feel better" never worked on this one.

[lizzywednesday]

How could I forget the magic phrase "internal decapitation"???

That one worked with DH to keep DD RFing 'til 3.

[BabyBearsMom]

DH is totally in favor of our carseat plans. When I told him what the other moms were saying about a booster he looked panic stricken and said "She is absolutely NOT going in a booster!" And I have no problem talking about internal decapitation to him, because he is a decision maker in our childrens' lives and I need him to be on the same page as me. But I strongly feel like it isn't my business if someone else chooses to put their kids into boosters at age 4. Because of my complete lack of BRF, people are constantly criticizing my parenting choices; so I know how that feels and would never want to make someone else feel that way.

I don't really buy into the quippy comebacks, especially not the ones that question the quality of someone else's parenting. It just feels too mean to me. I just wish other people would jump on that band wagon too.

[boolady]

I must be lucky; no one has ever said a word to me about DD still being harnessed at over 7 years old, and 52 inches tall. I expected it last year in the carpool line, but it never materialized. Two staff members take turns helping the kids out of the cars; one is the school nurse, so I am certainly glad she's never said anything. The other is the art teacher, and she's never said beans. I appreciate it, because as a result, DD rarely, if ever, says anything about still being harnessed in my car even though her friends are all in boosters, mostly backless.

[OKKiddo]

I'm the opposite of you. If they've overstepped the naturally followed consequence of hearing me preach it should be what they expect. But never do. ;) I usually see shocked expressions. Some have the look of "what did I get myself into?" Some try to argue back (usually about feet scrunched up and a broken bone) and I shoot right back with the correct info. And sometimes I get honest questions about how to keep their kiddos safe or asking me to look at their child's install (which is usually pretty wonky). I do what I can and then send them to a CPST who can teach them the right way and give them more info. I'm sadistic I guess. I welcome butting in comments from other parents. :)

[Kindra178]

My 46 pound 5 year old is still harnessed. He will switch permanently at 6; I am hoping his twin brother reaches 40 pounds by then . . . I had the same conversation with family over the holidays. They couldn't believe my twins were not boostered.

[hellokitty]

My 4 yr old is the only child in his class who is NOT in a booster seat. Guess who always bugs me about wanting a, "big boy carseat?" :irked: We live in an area where ppl are generally very ignorant about carseats. I had one mom in my moms club arguing with two of us that actually know what we were talking about, about when it was appropriate to change seats from RF to FF. She also kept commenting about how our new state law seemed like such a pain, and how she is so glad that her kids are older, so she didn't have to delay turning them from RF to FF. Ugh. Heaven forbid that the new carseat law is trying to help PROTECT children, right? I guess it's just too inconvenient for her.

[twowhat?]

Kids here are in boosters by 3 and I wouldn't be surprised to see them in seatbelts way before they should be. I actually haven't gotten a lot of comments because most folks are in a rush during pick-up and drop-off and don't pay attention to what you have going on in terms of carseats, and my parents/in-laws thankfully don't comment and seem to agree on the whole reasoning (physics!) behind it. But I do look around and I don't see a single kid 3 and over who isn't already in a booster. It's also really evident by how quickly the kids get in/out of the car!

I dread when we start getting into carpool situations because I just don't think I'd feel comfortable letting someone else drive my kids considering the carseat ignorance going on here. I just can't imagine kids so little and so unable to consistently sit correctly being in a booster!!

I plan on keeping them harnessed for a good long while...they're in Radians and aren't tall kids so it will be quite a while:)

[mommylamb]

I have never had anyone say anything to me about it. Bitchy Resting Face to the rescue again. But I would also have no problem explaining exactly why my child is rear facing/harnessed, and if someone persisted, I would just say it's because I care about their safety and leave it at that.

[AJP]

My two are still harnessed at 5 1/2. They just unbuckle themselves when we are next in the drop off line also.
I had to give my DH the "internal decapitation" talk ONCE and he never asked again about FF or boosters. He has been known to preach to his parents now about making sure the harness is in correctly etc. my MIL used to ask "when can we buy them low boosters"? all the time (starting when they were 2!!). I just told her in simple terms not for MANY, MANY years...it's not safe and illegal lol. No one else has really asked except my sister who thinks I am crazy since her kids are older and things were done differently then...FF at one yr, booster at 3 etc.

[barkley1]

:bag

DS is 4.5 and still RF. I've just left him like that bc dd is rf, obviously, at age 2.5 and will for a long time. I think with the new latch weight limits, I need to look at turning him, plus he is within a few pounds of the rf limit for his seat. I just dread it bc I know dd will start wanting to face forward. I've only had one teacher in car line say anything to me about a year ago; DS couldn't care less! :)

[lizzywednesday]

...

I don't really buy into the quippy comebacks, especially not the ones that question the quality of someone else's parenting. It just feels too mean to me. I just wish other people would jump on that band wagon too.

The thing is, they're not respecting YOUR parenting choices and are being jerks about it by not letting the issue drop. Even when you use the nicer "all the research I've done means I'm more comfortable keeping her harnessed/RFing, etc."

We aren't saying you need to be a jerk back, but you obviously need something to shut them the heck up because it's grating to hear it day, after day, after day, after day.

We truly empathize!

[lizzywednesday]

:bag

DS is 4.5 and still RF. I've just left him like that bc dd is rf, obviously, at age 2.5 and will for a long time. I think with the new latch weight limits, I need to look at turning him, plus he is within a few pounds of the rf limit for his seat. I just dread it bc I know dd will start wanting to face forward. I've only had one teacher in car line say anything to me about a year ago; DS couldn't care less! :)

What the heck do you have a bag over your head for?

The LATCH limits only apply to using the lower anchors. I've got to learn the seatbelt install for my DD's seats, as well as figure out how to use the top tether (I know; I should be put into BBB Purgatory for not already using it) ... but my car manual is SO confusing! At least I know where the tether anchors are.

[gamma]

I would be so tempted to start replying with, "the car seat is so much safer, I just love my little girl too much to switch her to a booster. Don't you love your little one?"

Catherine[/QUOTE]
Absolutely Perfect!!!

[dogmom]

That sucks, I understand not wanting some cute comeback, it can seam to demean the thought process you put into this choice. You could try being very honest with people, "You know I've been getting a lot of comments about car seats recently. Honestly I wish i could avoid these discussion. I did a lot of research and came to the conclusion this is the safest option that works for my family. I don't understand why people need to comment on it. I don't talk about how you restrain you kids in the car. "

[MamaSnoo]

"Please pass the bean dip."

You are under no obligation to discuss this issue with any of them. It is not any of their business. As long as you are in line with the law and with the manufacturer's instructions for your seat, you are A-OK.

IRL, I think my response would be "This is just want we are doing for now. I'll switch her at some point. Have your kids seen Frozen yet?" 100% non-commital....and moving on.

[AngB]

A few days ago one of my friends that I converted to ERF posted something on FB..http://csftl.org/rear-facing-car-seat-myths-busted/...RF'ing myths. Awesome opportunity to share (I have a few friends who are pretty new parents plus some who have older kids anmd new babies so the recs have changed). Anyway I just wrote "A lot of people have asked why we still RF DS1 and this article does a good job of explaining it."

I don't get much flack anymore, even my mom has chilled out now that she sees how DS1 happily and easily climbs into his seat all on his own and often falls asleep in it.