WWYD: daycare teacher online shopping at work

[daisyd]

I dropped off my 1 year old at 9:30 am this morning to a full class of infants. 3 of the 7 were crying for attention with just teacher 1 engaged. Teacher 1 greeted me and asked about my weekend while Teacher 2 (whom I dearly love) was helping teacher 3 (support staff who was probably "signed off/not at work") shop online with a gift certificate she didn't know how to use. Teacher 3 looked up briefly to explain that Teacher 2 was helping her with a gift certificate and "thanks for understanding". My drop off lasted 5 minutes and they were still shopping when I left. My DS is the oldest in the class and pretty independent but the other babies looked like they needed attention and I didn't like what I was seeing. I know babies cry and I would have been fine if I'd seen the teachers engaged with the crying babies. I'm also fine with the teacher's online shopping when the kids are settled although it's not the ideal situation.

I *love* this daycare center so far (8 months). After getting advice here, I moved DS from his previous Bright Horizons center to this one, also a Bright Horizons as I wasn't happy with the care he was getting before. In the beginning, I was definitely seen as "that" Mom for bringing up some of the issues at the previous center but I've since lived that down. I feel I didn't speak up for the little issues at the previous center and then they just added up and became unbearable, so I want to say something now. I don't know how or what to say though. And I certainly don't want to get Teacher 2 in trouble. Please advise.

Update: Thanks Beth (egoldber) for fine tuning the wording. I spoke with the center director. She was very receptive. Indeed, she actually knew about the problem this morning. Looks like I was not the only concerned parent. The director is a capable woman and I believe she'll handle this well.

[emily]

I would not be okay with it and would bring it up with management. The owners of our DCP have a zero tolerance phone rule for the teachers. Teacher are not allowed to be on their phones, texting, checking emails etc while in the classroom. I specifically asked about it while interviewing and was told it was grounds for termination. I understand things come up but ignoring children to shop? No way!

Based on age, that second teacher was a duty. I understand you don't want to get the teacher in trouble but what if one of the kids got hurt during that time? I think management needs to know.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Were they shopping for the classroom? Still a bad choice. But, I would probably not bring it up this time and instead keep my eyes and ears peeled for future issues.

[TwinFoxes]

I think that's really odd. I don't really know how or what to say, but shopping while at work, and saying "I'm shopping" just seems wrong. Especially if you work with infants.

[daisyd]

Were they shopping for the classroom? Still a bad choice. But, I would probably not bring it up this time and instead keep my eyes and ears peeled for future issues.

No the teacher was using up a gift certificate she had got for herself. Some of the things she was buying were a crystal vase and a crystal clock. I doubt that would be for the infant classroom.

I bit my tongue when I saw the center director immediately after, but i really want to nip this in the bud.

[musicalgrl]

saying "I'm shopping" just seems wrong. Especially if you work with infants.

...and several of them were crying, to boot! I think it's surprising that they actually told you what they were doing, as if it were okay. If one were off duty and the other took 30 seconds to point to something on the screen, that would be one thing. Did you get the impression that they'd be sitting there for a while? I'm honestly on the fence about who I'd talk to. But I would be upset if my kid were crying and being ignored ...for any length of time.

[daisyd]

Did you get the impression that they'd be sitting there for a while?

They probably meant for it to be quick. They were shopping when I went in and still at it when I left 5 minutes later. I think the third teacher was getting annoyed at having to handle all the babies herself.

[Globetrotter]

I'm just wondering why they openly declared it. It makes me wonder what else is acceptable. If this was a one time thing, it's not the end of the world, but…unattended crying babies? No, not acceptable.

If anything, could you point out to the teachers that you were uncomfortable that the babies were going unattended?

[wildfire]

I would have a problem with it in that scenario since some of the infants were crying and needing attention. Taking care of them is what she is getting paid for. That sort of thing should be left for a break or for when most of the infants are napping. I would have no problem talking to the director about that.

[daisyd]

I could try approaching this with teacher 2 (who I like a lot and we get along well) but do I say that this morning's shopping made me uncomfortable. I'm afraid that she might just be defensive.

At other times I've told the director, how much I like the center and she's always said let me know if anything isn't going well. I'm thinking of saying something like this to the director "Hi XYZ, I just wanted to say again how much I love the center and the teachers. There's something I wanted to say, it's not a biggie but this morning at drop off, some of the babies were unattended while 2 teachers were shopping online. I'm sure it's a one off thing but I wanted to mention it to see if may be the staff needed more break time to take care of personal activities" Sound okay? Please help me tweak it.

[Snow mom]

I'm sure you felt a bit caught off guard but I think it would have been best to respond right when they said "sorry, I'm shopping." I would say something to the teacher and I would do so asap because I think admitting that they are taking an uncovered break when infants clearly could use their attention sets a terrible precedence. My DDs daycare also had a strict no phone/no Internet rule. Was the third teacher also supposed to be working or was she on break?

[tabegle]

I'm just wondering why they openly declared it. It makes me wonder what else is acceptable. If this was a one time thing, it's not the end of the world, but…unattended crying babies? No, not acceptable.

If anything, could you point out to the teachers that you were uncomfortable that the babies were going unattended?

Yeah, since they openly admitted what they were doing to you, it makes me think that this is normal acceptable behavior in thier minds.

At my kids daycare (going there nearly 5 years now), I never see phones out, and the only computer is in the director's office. Why is a computer needed in the infant's room? Are daily reports entered in the computer? Or is there a day care cam? Just curious...

[BunnyBee]

If they're doing that during dropoff, what the heck are they doing when parents aren't around?

[SnuggleBuggles]

If they're doing that during dropoff, what the heck are they doing when parents aren't around?

I know lots of daycares have streaming video feed for parents. Does this facility offer that? If so, how do things normally look?

[BabyBearsMom]

I would not be okay with it and would bring it up with management. The owners of our DCP have a zero tolerance phone rule for the teachers. Teacher are not allowed to be on their phones, texting, checking emails etc while in the classroom. I specifically asked about it while interviewing and was told it was grounds for termination. I understand things come up but ignoring children to shop? No way!

Based on age, that second teacher was a duty. I understand you don't want to get the teacher in trouble but what if one of the kids got hurt during that time? I think management needs to know.

I would say something. There are enough distractions just taking care of a large group of kids, an outside distraction should not be present. What if a child as hurt? Not to mention, you pay them to watch your children, not buy crystal clocks.

[twowhat?]

I'd say something - that's unacceptable. I remember once a few years back when I dropped off the girls the lead teacher wasn't there yet and the assistant was struggling to contain chaos with too many kids per the daycare allowed ratio. Mine were fine when I dropped off but as I headed out the door I said to the director "There are now 10 kids in that classroom and only one teacher." Yes, I counted so I could be sure the ratio rule was "broken". The director acknowledged the issue and said she was headed over there right now. After that, I noticed that the lead teacher started arriving earlier (i.e. on time). But just a couple weeks later, that lead teacher resigned.

Say something! It doesn't have to be a "big deal" meeting but definitely mention it to the director at least in passing: "Teacher A is shopping online and there are 3 babies crying in that room right now."

Drop-off times: ALL teachers should be 100% engaged.

[daisyd]

Was the third teacher also supposed to be working or was she on break?

The third teacher is "support". She covers before the second regular teacher of the day arrives and I'm guessing she was off duty when I saw them.

[daisyd]

At my kids daycare (going there nearly 5 years now), I never see phones out, and the only computer is in the director's office. Why is a computer needed in the infant's room? Are daily reports entered in the computer? Or is there a day care cam? Just curious...

They use the laptop to play music in the room. They might use it to do the daily reports with photos.

[daisyd]

If they're doing that during dropoff, what the heck are they doing when parents aren't around?


Exactly my concerns..

[SnuggleBuggles]

Exactly my concerns..

It sounds like you should go ahead and say something. Your wording from above: "Hi XYZ, I just wanted to say again how much I love the center and the teachers. There's something I wanted to say, it's not a biggie but this morning at drop off, some of the babies were unattended while 2 teachers were shopping online. I'm sure it's a one off thing but I wanted to mention it to see if may be the staff needed more break time to take care of personal activities"

That looks fine.

[daisyd]

I know lots of daycares have streaming video feed for parents. Does this facility offer that? If so, how do things normally look?

This center doesnt do video feed. But parents are generally happy and so are we. This was the first time I saw something that made me feel bad. The teacher who was using a gift certificate (the support) is a little brusque but I've dismissed it because she gets the job done and I see her rarely. The regular teachers are wonderful.

[daisyd]

Beth, thanks for weighing in on the wording of what to say about the issue. I really appreciate it

[egoldber]

There's something I wanted to say, it's not a biggie but this morning

I wouldn't say this. I would be more direct.

"Hi XYZ, I just wanted to say again how much I love the center and the teachers. But I wanted to bring to your attention that this morning at drop off, some of the babies were unattended while 2 teachers were shopping online. Perhaps this was a one off thing, but I am still concerned about this. I would appreciate your help in ensuring this doesn't happen again."

It's unacceptable and they knew it was unacceptable.

[TwinFoxes]

I wouldn't say this. I would be more direct.

"Hi XYZ, I just wanted to say again how much I love the center and the teachers. But I wanted to bring to your attention that this morning at drop off, some of the babies were unattended while 2 teachers were shopping online. Perhaps this was a one off thing, but I am still concerned about this. I would appreciate your help in ensuring this doesn't happen again."

It's unacceptable and they knew it was unacceptable.

I like this wording. I agree with not downplaying the issue, and being direct.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

I'm just wondering why they openly declared it. It makes me wonder what else is acceptable. If this was a one time thing, it's not the end of the world, but…unattended crying babies? No, not acceptable.

:yeahthat: this, times a thousand. honestly, what really really jumped out at me was her being upfront about it and saying "thanks for understanding." Um, what? So she KNOWS it's not ok but is doing it anyway, but expects you to be cool with it? Yeah, that would really irritate me.

i think egoldber's wording is perfect.

If i saw a teacher checking her email or texting someone on phone and then quickly look up and put it away when i walked in, that would be an entirely different matter. Id give benefit of the doubt and figure it may be something important (esp since lots of teachers have kids themselves, they could be texting a spouse about child pickup, illness, or whatever), so i wouldn't be bothered by that. When i do pickup (rarely) i go at 5:55 or so and dd is often last one in the room, playing on her own while teacher is wraping things up and making notes in a binder which is fine with me...i'd be okay with them even doing email or whatnot on phone occasionally.but my DD is almost 3, and it's at the end of the day. For infants, especially during dropoff time i'd think purposely shopping online for personal stuff on a class computer would make me annoyed and want to talk about the director about it, so that they're not doing it more often.

and OT, but i think the "i hope you don't mind" and "thanks for understanding" is one of my least favorite phrases. It seems so passive-aggressive. either acknowledge what you are doing is wrong and apologize for it, or don't say anything.

[twowhat?]

I wouldn't say this. I would be more direct.

"Hi XYZ, I just wanted to say again how much I love the center and the teachers. But I wanted to bring to your attention that this morning at drop off, some of the babies were unattended while 2 teachers were shopping online. Perhaps this was a one off thing, but I am still concerned about this. I would appreciate your help in ensuring this doesn't happen again."

It's unacceptable and they knew it was unacceptable.

Yes, and I'd be even more direct: "Some of the babies were unattended and crying while..."

[BunnyBee]

Yes, and I'd be even more direct: "Some of the babies were unattended and crying while..."

I agree. This is important to mention. Otherwise, egoldber's wording is perfect. You don't have to apologize for wanting your child supervised properly!

[HannaAddict]

As you describe, I would not bring it up. How many folks on here are posting from their offices or work? I'm sure it was a short thing at the end of the day. Unless it is happening quite often, is let it go.

[squimp]

I wouldn't say anything, unless it was part of a repeated issue, or if all the teachers were busy. It sounds like Teacher 1 was available and not distracted by the shopping, so it's not like the kids were unattended. Babies cry, and that alone wouldn't concern me. If this were part of a repeated pattern, I would say something but otherwise I would not.

[egoldber]

How many folks on here are posting from their offices or work? I'm sure it was a short thing at the end of the day. Unless it is happening quite often, is let it go.

Yes, but I am not directly responsible for attending to several infants! I think it is more comparable to, say, is it OK if my boss came into my cube to ask a question and I said "Oh, wait a minute, I have to finish my Amazon order." No. Not acceptable.

My kids have been in group child care and after care for YEARS and I have never seen teachers on their phones in that setting. It isn't acceptable. A casual sitter in my home, yes. A child care worker in the work environment, no.

[HannaAddict]

Yes, but I am not directly responsible for attending to several infants! I think it is more comparable to, say, is it OK if my boss came into my cube to ask a question and I said "Oh, wait a minute, I have to finish my Amazon order." No. Not acceptable.

My kids have been in group child care and after care for YEARS and I have never seen teachers on their phones in that setting. It isn't acceptable. A casual sitter in my home, yes. A child care worker in the work environment, no.

I don't think it is acceptable, but it sounded like the teacher shopping was not on duty and the second teacher was helping her briefly. It did not sound like a long term room full of unattended infants, so I would not say something as it was the first time. Though not acceptable. I have seen teacher's check phones on occasion and think it happens everywhere, even if you haven't seen it. I guess I just give a pass for first instance, since there was no danger, etc.

[indigo99]

I initially thought that nothing should be said. However, I do think it's a potential problem if there is a computer in the room that is connected to the internet. If they use the computer for other things during the day then they could be using it inappropriately at other times without being obvious. It just makes it too easy for them to do a quick check of email or submit a personal order etc when they should be with the kids. If she had to get out her phone and try to use it to place the order then she probably wouldn't have been doing it.

[mjs64]

I would say something, but I'd talk to teachers before going to the director.

I was in a situation awhile ago in which I wasn't happy with something at a daycare I otherwise liked (long story, already rehashed on this board), panicked, and went to the director. The teacher I was concerned about was hurt, and it definitely affected our relationship for awhile. So I would start with the teachers, and take it up with the director only if it happened a second time.

I totally get you being upset though!

Edited for errors

[westwoodmom04]

I would say something, but I'd talk to teachers before going to the director.

I was in a situation awhile ago in which I wasn't happy with something at a daycare I otherwise liked (long story, already rehashed on this board), panicked, and went to the director. The teacher I was concerned about was hurt, and it definitely affected our relationship for awhile. So I would start with the teachers, and take it up with the director only if it happened a second time.

I totally get you being upset though!

Edited for errors

Yes, this. Whenever possible, always go to the teacher before going to the higher up.

[MMMommy]

I would say something to the teachers themselves, not the director. If this kind of behavior persists and is an ongoing problem after speaking with the teachers, then I would resort to talking with the director.

[Green_Tea]

If this is the one and only time you have ever observed something like this (I haven't read the entire thread) I would let it go. The fact that they made no attempt to hide it is actually reassuring to me and makes me think it was an out of the ordinary event.

[JustMe]

I would talk with the director and I like the direct wording suggested by both Beth and twowhat? I would not go directly to the teacher, as I am with those who wonder what is happening when parents are not around. I fear this would just go underground..they stop the behavior at drop off and pick up, but who knows about the rest of the day.

The only way I would sort of make it a little softer, in addition to saying that maybe this was just a one time thing is to say that you don't know if this is something they need to do for the classroom/center. I still don't think that would make it okay to do during a time when babies are crying, but just in terms of giving the benefit of the doubt..hope that makes sense.

[mommylamb]

I'm sure you felt a bit caught off guard but I think it would have been best to respond right when they said "sorry, I'm shopping." I would say something to the teacher and I would do so asap because I think admitting that they are taking an uncovered break when infants clearly could use their attention sets a terrible precedence. My DDs daycare also had a strict no phone/no Internet rule. Was the third teacher also supposed to be working or was she on break?
:yeahthat: I think the best time to have dealt with this was when it happened. I think it still makes sense to say something to the teachers. I wouldn't go to the director unless this becomes a repeat issue. If your general vibe is that the kids are well cared for, they probably are.

[indigo99]

Well.. helping with a gift certificate could mean "helping me shop so that I can use my gift certificate" and not just figuring out how to use it. I still think there should be a rule about using the internet in the classroom.