a letter to a SAHM from WOHM (and vice versa).

[♥ms.pacman♥]

this.is.awesome and had to share. having been both i totally get both sides. this is the best t hing i've read that doesn't demean one choice or the other.

http://carolynee.net/a-letter-from-a-working-mother-to-a-stay-at-home-mother-and-vice-versa/

[iaam]

I loved this - thanks for sharing. It actually brought tears to me eyes - no idea why that happened!

[anonomom]

Thanks for posting this. I needed to read something nice today.

[Piglet]

I loved this - thanks for sharing. It actually brought tears to me eyes - no idea why that happened!

:yeahthat:

[Binkandabee]

Soooooo refreshing to read something like this! Ahhh...........

[ArizonaGirl]

I loved this - thanks for sharing. It actually brought tears to me eyes - no idea why that happened!

:yeahthat:

Especially on days when I feel that I do both work and home badly.

[div_0305]

:signthankspin: for sharing that OP!

[bigsis]

That's awesome! I wish it was around when I was a new mom to comfort me (and to humble me!) I have been on both sides of the fence as well. It's a lot of sacrifices either way. Thanks for sharing!

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

I have to say, I find myself agreeing more with this rebuttal:
Motherhood is Not Martyrdom (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/12/motherhood-is-not-martyrdom_n_4776198.html)

And I have taken a day off with my kids at daycare. And I am certainly waste more than a single minute when I'm at work. Um, maybe even right now.

[shweethart]

I like that rebuttal too


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[rachelh]

I have to say, I find myself agreeing more with this rebuttal:
Motherhood is Not Martyrdom (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/12/motherhood-is-not-martyrdom_n_4776198.html)

And I have taken a day off with my kids at daycare. And I am certainly waste more than a single minute when I'm at work. Um, maybe even right now.

In all honesty, I wanted to throw something at the computer when reading the letters. Maybe I am just a negative nelly but I really disliked the letters. Thank you for linking to this rebuttal - I like it alot better.

[pb&j]

In all honesty, I wanted to throw something at the computer when reading the letters. Maybe I am just a negative nelly but I really disliked the letters. Thank you for linking to this rebuttal - I like it alot better.

Big eyeroll from me.

Where are the letters to and from working/SAH dads? Please.

I'll be honest, it WAS NOT a hard decision to go back to work, and I don't eat lunch at my desk.

[rin]

I have to say, I find myself agreeing more with this rebuttal:
Motherhood is Not Martyrdom (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/12/motherhood-is-not-martyrdom_n_4776198.html)


:yeahthat:

I love the rebuttal. Deciding to go back to work was probably the easiest parenting decision I've made.

[specialp]

I liked the rebuttal better as well. I've been both sahm & whom and I honestly didn't see myself in either of those letters. The rebuttal is right that it must hit a nerve so while I rolled my eyes a bit, it's great if it makes someone's day.

eta; x posted with ry, but so glad to see I wasn't the only one eye rolling.

[BabyBearsMom]

I have to say, I find myself agreeing more with this rebuttal:
Motherhood is Not Martyrdom (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/12/motherhood-is-not-martyrdom_n_4776198.html)

And I have taken a day off with my kids at daycare. And I am certainly waste more than a single minute when I'm at work. Um, maybe even right now.
This exactly!

[Philly Mom]

I have to say, I find myself agreeing more with this rebuttal:
Motherhood is Not Martyrdom (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/12/motherhood-is-not-martyrdom_n_4776198.html)

And I have taken a day off with my kids at daycare. And I am certainly waste more than a single minute when I'm at work. Um, maybe even right now.

Glad I was not the only one. Your post made me smile. I did not like the letter to the working mom. I love taking days off with kids in daycare. No guilt.


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[♥ms.pacman♥]

I have to say, I find myself agreeing more with this rebuttal:
Motherhood is Not Martyrdom (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/12/motherhood-is-not-martyrdom_n_4776198.html)

And I have taken a day off with my kids at daycare. And I am certainly waste more than a single minute when I'm at work. Um, maybe even right now.
Okay, thanks for posting this!! I didn't care for that part. Actually I identified more with the SAHM letter, bc it totally brought me back to how I felt about a year ago. Except for the part where it says "husband comes home and wants to put his feet up and it makes you want to cry"..i felt it should be more like "it makes me want to slap him upside the head, and i woudl have, if my DH had ever dared do that." LOL!!

And i do eat lunch at my desk almost every day but i am either browsing FB or BBB when i do, and am grateful i get to eat my lunch in peace and quiet. And I've TOTALLY taken a day off with kids in daycare (did it just last month and DH had a day to ourselves to go to yoga class, go out to lunch, and get massages). And past few weeks, twice a week i've gone to workout right after work and not getting home till 7:45 or so, bc i feel its important. So yes, i am firmly of the belief that being a mom doesn't necessarily mean your life is over and you can't do things for yourself. I guess i mostly read it as trying to reaffirm smeone's hardwork for what often goes unappreciated.

And as far as rebuttals go, that was okay but my favorite rebuttal on this topic is this one, written in response to that Matt Walsh entry about SAHMs (which i hated). I think this lady nails it.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lyz-lenz/take-your-pedestal-and-shove-it_b_4089700.html

The problem is that we exonerate men because, well, women are AWESOME. HOORAY! And deny them the ability to be people beyond just mom. The problem is that we totally ignore the role of the co-parent
The problem is the pedestal.

[California]

The parts about choice and sick days bothered me. I guess she's just writing to a narrow audience. Many of my friends are their family's main bread winner. Their choice is between working and not paying the bills. And honestly when I was teaching sick days were so stressful- I wasn't secretly treasuring that stress, that is for sure! And for a lot of women paid sick leave is not available... extra stressful.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

The parts about choice and sick days bothered me. I guess she's just writing to a narrow audience. Many of my friends are their family's main bread winner. Their choice is between working and not paying the bills. And honestly when I was teaching sick days were so stressful- I wasn't secretly treasuring that stress, that is for sure! And for a lot of women paid sick leave is not available... extra stressful.

oh yeah i disagreed with that part too. when i had to stay home with a sick kid (usualy bc DH was traveling) i hated it. i guess after the end of the day i felt it was nice to spend 1 :1 time with my DC but i never looked forward to it. i didn't have many days to take.

and yes, at the moment i'm the only bread winner so i don't have a choice but to work, which is actually sort of nice (bc then i can't whine/worry like so many others about how i'm possibly making the "wrong choice" and feel guilty over it).

[bisous]

Hmm. I loved the original letters and thought they were really nice. FWIW, I think mothering in any capacity is hard but I love it to pieces and feel beyond fulfilled with it. I don't ever pretend that it is perfect or flowery but I can't imagine anything better. I don't frankly understand the criticism and the rebuttal didn't resonate with me at all. I particularly liked the way that both SAHM and WOHM were treating each other with understanding and empathy. I've never been a big breadwinner in my family so I can't speak for working moms but for SAHMs I think the author nailed it pretty well. Just my opinion!