What's the right thing to do?

[anonomom]

DD2 had a makeup day at preschool today -- it was supposed to be a holiday but we've had lots of snow days. The email announcing the make-up day said that they wouldn't be having after care today. On Mondays, DD usually does an after-school exercise class (not part of the after care program), and it didn't occur to me that the class would be canceled, though in retrospect I should have realized it would be. It appears that I was the only parent who wasn't there at pickup, so it's pretty clear I messed up.

Anyway, I got a call 15 minutes after school let out asking where I was. I had to get DD1 off the bus and it's a 20 minute drive to preschool, so I was 45 minutes late to get DD2. The teacher mentioned that I need to talk to the director about paying the late fee. I can't find information about the late policy on the school website, but I dimly remember it being measured in terms of multiple dollars per minute, so I'm looking at a fee potentially from $100 or more (possibly much more).

How do I proceed? Should I contact the director, or wait until she calls me? I'm ok with paying for my mistake, though I'm worried about how high that fee might be. Should I offer to pay some lesser amount (and if so, what would be reasonable?) Does it matter that I have never been late picking up DD before?

(of course, the last thing I needed after last week was more preschool drama).

[Simon]

I would ask about the fee, acknowledging my mistake and stating I am prepared to accept (financial) responsibility. Then I would explain that it hadn't occurred to me that X activity wasn't also being made up, though in hindsight you can see the error. IME, when faced with people who are apologetic and take responsibility, others are much more likely to be lenient and they may reduce the fee for you. I would not ask for a reduction on first contact but if the fee seems extreme, then I think it would be okay to ask them to reduce it. IME, those high $ policies are mostly intended as a deterrent.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

I would probably contact the director and go from there. May e try to find parent handbook ..it should list late fees there.

As a working parent I totally understand worry over late fees. Our daycare charges by th e minute for late pickup. Can't remember what it is but.it is listed in the parents handbook . I was once late to pick my dc up bc of construction and traffic on my way home and they never mentioned anything about a charge. I was late by like 8 mins or so...45 mins though is a long time.

I get that it could be a lot of $ but I guess what would make me feel bad and want to make it right is compensation for the teacher who had to stay behind with your DD...basically having to work extra without getting paid. If they waived the fee given it was a first-time offense I might want to do something nice for the teacher (small gc?) I agree with pp that rhe fee is probably used more as a deterrent to discourage ppl from repeatedly picking up late.

[anonomom]

I would probably contact the director and go from there. May e try to find parent handbook ..it should list late fees there.

As a working parent I totally understand worry over late fees. Our daycare charges by th e minute for late pickup. Can't remember what it is but.it is listed in the parents handbook . I was once late to pick my dc up bc of construction and traffic on my way home and they never mentioned anything about a charge. I was late by like 8 mins or so...45 mins though is a long time.

I get that it is a lot of $ but I guess what would make me feel bad and want to make it right is compensation for the teacher who had to stay behind with your DD...basically having to work extra without getting paid.

I agree and I'm willing to pay a reasonable fee. I'm just worried that the fee will be in the hundreds of dollars. The parent handbook is not available online anymore (nor are the parents provided with a written copy) and I can't find any reference to the late fee in my email archives, though I definitely remember reading about one at some point in the last few years. My hazy memory is along the lines of $5/minute, which would translate to a whopping $225.

[nfowife]

I would email the director apologizing for the confusion but affirm that you assumed the class would be held as you had not heard otherwise. Let her take the lead on the response and possible fine.

[mikala]

I would email the director apologizing for the confusion but affirm that you assumed the class would be held as you had not heard otherwise. Let her take the lead on the response and possible fine.

I agree with this.

[123LuckyMom]

Speak to the director. You will need to compensate the teacher who had to stay with your DD. That's only fair, as you acknowledge. I'd admit that the mistake was yours, and I think if you accept responsibility and ask for leniency in this one instance, you may get it. There's certainly no harm in asking.

Our policy is not nearly so Draconian. I think it's $15 every five minutes or something. I once did have to pay $18 when I got stuck on the road. An accident stopped all traffic. I didn't argue about it, and even if it had been 45 minutes, my penalty would have been under $150. A penalty in the hundreds seems unduly harsh.

[PZMommy]

I would email the director apologizing for the confusion but affirm that you assumed the class would be held as you had not heard otherwise. Let her take the lead on the response and possible fine.

I would go this route as well. I know at my center it is $1 per minute paid in cash to the teacher who has to stay with your child, with an additional fine if more than an hour late.

[BabbyO]

When my kids were at a DC that had a similar fine/fee it was $1/min past pick up time or past the maximum time allotted per day. Our center only allowed the kids to be there a max of 10 hr/day. That said, when DH was out of town the director was always willing to work with me because there was no possible way I could do both drop off and pick up and have the kids there 10 hr or less.

Since this is your first occurrence, I think it is totally reasonable to talk to the director, explain that you made the mistake, that it didn't occur to you that the activity would be cancelled. I suspect if the fee is normally rather high, the director may be willing to waive or reduce it. Our director always told me those fees are meant to be deterrents for people who habitually abuse the policy not responsible parents who get stuck in traffic or have a one time lapse of memory, etc.

[jacksmomtobe]

I think I would email or call the Director explaining that you did not realize that the exercise class would not occurring which is why you were not at pick up and that you got there as soon as you could after getting DD1 off the bus. I think if you put it in an apologetic tone they may waive the fee. Fees like this are meant to be more of a deterrent for the frequent abusers of pick up time. Though it was your error I don't feel that you are responsible for paying the staff member who had to stay late. I would assume that the school has funds to cover their compensation and they certainly aren't going to be the person pocketing a $200 late fee. In a typical day I would assume a staff member might have to stay after aftercare ends to clean up etc as well.

[TwinFoxes]

Since it's a private exercise class, having nothing to do with the school, I wouldn't expect it to be held on a holiday, or to be told it wouldn't be held. I don't think it's even vaguely the school's fault. They may have a cap for how much they will charge you, especially since it's a first offense. I think you should write a extremely apologetic email, saying you goofed, and you're hoping the late fee can reflect your otherwise stellar record. At our former preschool I was VERY late picking up one DD, because other DD was sick, and it turned out she had pneumonia. I texted the director multiple times letting her know I would be late, and they didn't fine me at all. So, there is hope! Good luck!!!

[HannaAddict]

Since it's a private exercise class, having nothing to do with the school, I wouldn't expect it to be held on a holiday, or to be told it wouldn't be held. I don't think it's even vaguely the school's fault. They may have a cap for how much they will charge you, especially since it's a first offense. I think you should write a extremely apologetic email, saying you goofed, and you're hoping the late fee can reflect your otherwise stellar record. At our former preschool I was VERY late picking up one DD, because other DD was sick, and it turned out she had pneumonia. I texted the director multiple times letting her know I would be late, and they didn't fine me at all. So, there is hope! Good luck!!!

Yes to the above. I would not expect after care or an exercise class at all on a holiday. Just be super sweet and apologetic, it is not their fault at all and assume there will be a reasonable late fee. It might be more than you'd like to pay, but 45 minutes is a long time to have a child after class and I'm sure the teacher had things to do and places to be. I am confident it won't be in the $100's of dollars either. Good luck.

[indigo99]

Our school has a late fee in the handbook, but the teachers have told me to just give them a call if I'll be late (I mentioned once that I had to get out of a long checkout line to come for pickup and would need to go back and checkout at the store). It apparently isn't enforced very strictly. Hopefully since this was a mistake due to the special circumstances rather than you just being irresponsible, they'll accept your apology and be reasonable with compensation.

[KrisM]

I would ask about the fee, acknowledging my mistake and stating I am prepared to accept (financial) responsibility. Then I would explain that it hadn't occurred to me that X activity wasn't also being made up, though in hindsight you can see the error. IME, when faced with people who are apologetic and take responsibility, others are much more likely to be lenient and they may reduce the fee for you. I would not ask for a reduction on first contact but if the fee seems extreme, then I think it would be okay to ask them to reduce it. IME, those high $ policies are mostly intended as a deterrent.

This is what I'd do as well.

Our preschool policy was $5 for up to 5 min. late and then $1 per minute after that. I was late 2-3 times in 6 years and never paid. I was within a couple minutes though and was so very rarely late, she just told me to not worry about it, as it's really there to deter those who are habitually late. But, for 45 min, the teacher needs some reimbursement of course. It seems like hundreds of dollars is pretty extreme.

[BabyBearsMom]

I would probably just ask the director about the fee. I've been late once or twice getting the kiddos and our director has always waived the fee. She says she uses the fee for families that are habitually late, but a family like ours (we always pay on time, are on time 99.9% of the time with the only exception when there was a giant accident or a snow storm, are very involved in the school etc.).

[ZeeBaby]

I would call the director and be extremely apologetic and see what she says. You made an honest mistake. I was late picking up DD2 on half day at K. The school was not closing, it was parent teacher day. I got caught in a conference call for work for over an hour and I was late. It was my first time being late and I was not charged a fee.

[anonomom]

Thanks, I'll contact the director. DH found the late policy in his email and it's not as bad as I'd feared ($1/minute). I'm ok with paying that for my mistake.

[123LuckyMom]

Oh, yeah, $45 is fair! Hundreds would not have been.

[AnnieW625]

I would pay. I have paid late fees before. It just happens.