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Kindra178
02-21-2014, 02:11 PM
Does anyone have any experiences with grade retention? Ds1 is young for the grade. He is generally performing at grade level in class but has all over the board MAP scores. He has been dx with a language processing disorder. His expressive output, either writing or speaking, is not where it should be. He is reading on a third grade level and his Peabody receptive language scores are very high. He is also a fantastic speller. Complicating matters is that he is not confident at school work. His reading teacher constantly tells him to be more confident in his work. Further confusing the issue is that he suffers anxiety.

We made the decision not to red shirt him before K. It was not an easy decision to make. After the first couple months of school, I felt fine with that decision. Now I am not sure. If he had any one of the above issues, we could address with extra help as needed. The anxiety complicates things. He worries about everything and that usually causes him to get into trouble. He is worried about being late in the morning yet still messes around. He worries about bad guys, robbers, etc. He worries that his team will lose the next basketball game (he is one of the best players in the league and his team has won every game with one tie).

We could send him to Montessori or move to another district and have him repeat second grade. Thoughts?

egoldber
02-21-2014, 02:17 PM
I don't see grade retention helping most of these issues. The anxiety will not likely be helped by retaining him, in fact quite the opposite.

I seem to recall he had a neuropsych eval recently? What did they say/recommend?

I would work on getting him an IEP/504 and get him interventions for the areas where he needs support.

icunurse
02-21-2014, 02:21 PM
I don't see grade retention helping most of these issues. The anxiety will not likely be helped by retaining him, in fact quite the opposite.

I seem to recall he had a neuropsych eval recently? What did they say/recommend?

I would work on getting him an IEP/504 and get him interventions for the areas where he needs support.

I was going to write out a response, but Beth beat me to it and did a much better job. Completely agree with this.

Where is he getting help for his expressive issues? We live is a good school district, but I was very unimpressed with the services provided for speech issues in our schools. What made a huge difference in DS was private therapy over the summer. He barely qualified for insurance coverage, but, knowing what I know now, I would happily pay OOP if I had to do it all over again.

Also, what do his teachers recommend?

westwoodmom04
02-21-2014, 02:21 PM
I did red shirt my son so my bias is to give him more time if you think he would benefit from it. I have heard that maturity issues typically show up in third to fifth grade, not in K. Moving, however, seems a bit extreme unless you were already considering doing so. How about private school? You could keep him at grade level if you thought smaller class size might make a difference. Or have him repeat second there? Have you looked into whether there are schools that specialize in kids with dyslexia and similar issues. we have two excellent schools in our area, and I know there are some in Boston, maybe in Chicago as well?

Kindra178
02-21-2014, 02:22 PM
I don't see grade retention helping most of these issues. The anxiety will not likely be helped by retaining him, in fact quite the opposite.

I seem to recall he had a neuropsych eval recently? What did they say/recommend?

I would work on getting him an IEP/504 and get him interventions for the areas where he needs support.

No neuropsych eval. Wouldn't retention help make him more confident about school, less anxious? Kind of like "finally, this is easy." By the way, he has zero behavior issues but is probably immature mentally.

Kindra178
02-21-2014, 02:24 PM
I was going to write out a response, but Beth beat me to it and did a much better job. Completely agree with this.

Where is he getting help for his expressive issues? We live is a good school district, but I was very unimpressed with the services provided for speech issues in our schools. What made a huge difference in DS was private therapy over the summer. He barely qualified for insurance coverage, but, knowing what I know now, I would happily pay OOP if I had to do it all over again.

Also, what do his teachers recommend?

He is getting private language therapy along with a reading specialist help (comprehension only). He is also getting language therapy at school. His teachers think there are a lot of things going on, nothing catastrophic, etc. One would be very against retention and the other wants to wait and see.

Katigre
02-21-2014, 02:28 PM
What are you doing to addess his anxiety?

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Kindra178
02-21-2014, 02:30 PM
What are you doing to addess his anxiety?

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He sees a therapist for CBT. This also started last year following Newtown. He saw the therapist for 6 months, graduated from her care and was doing great. Then in December he started worrying about break ins/bad guys again. He saw the therapist for 6 weeks again. He is taking a short break right now.

egoldber
02-21-2014, 02:32 PM
Wouldn't retention help make him more confident about school, less anxious? Kind of like "finally, this is easy."

No. If it is true clinical anxiety, the anxiety isn't logical. It's more like a rut your mind gets into and stays there until something done is to move it off the track. Like you say, he worries about losing a game when they haven't actually lost one. Kids worry because they are pre-disposed to worry, not because they have something to actually be worried about.

An anxious kid who is held back is more likely to see this as confirmation of their worst fears. They might think, "Wow, I was right to worry about school and I really am a failure. They even held me back." NOT saying this is what you intend, but this is what the anxious person could feel. The way to combat anxiety is to help the person realize when their worry is inappropriate to the circumstance and give them tools to shift their mind away from the worry. This is what therapists do in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).

Also, grade retention is very different from red-shirting in it's social stigma for students.

I would absolutely consider having a more comprehensive evaluation done. Have you asked the school for an IEP meeting for him?


ETA: I see he is seeing a therapist for CBT. I would not consider grade retention without first consulting the therapist, doing a comprehensive evaluation, and asking the school for a local screening committee / child study meeting.

Kindra178
02-21-2014, 02:32 PM
I did red shirt my son so my bias is to give him more time if you think he would benefit from it. I have heard that maturity issues typically show up in third to fifth grade, not in K. Moving, however, seems a bit extreme unless you were already considering doing so. How about private school? You could keep him at grade level if you thought smaller class size might make a difference. Or have him repeat second there? Have you looked into whether there are schools that specialize in kids with dyslexia and similar issues. we have two excellent schools in our area, and I know there are some in Boston, maybe in Chicago as well?

He doesn't have dyslexia. I actually don't know of any here. I agree with you on the gift of time. His test scores would be off the charts if he were in first grade right now. Part of the problem is that our teachers' interpretation of common core for reading skills is very, very hard. The reading specialist works with a ton of area second graders and says that ds1's teachers' expectations are way higher than anyone else's teachers.

KpbS
02-21-2014, 02:34 PM
I would definitely consider repeating 2nd for several reasons. First he is young for grade. That will be an easier transition socially I think. Second, it really could help with mastery of subjects and confidence in the classroom. There is a considerable jump in academics from 2nd to 3rd and then again from 3rd to 4th. If you are considering retention, I think it is easier the younger the child. It could give you time to figure out the anxiety component and evaluate how to help him with his processing needs while he is on/at grade level.

Although it is impossible to predict the future, which setting do you think he would benefit from the most in the long run? I am not sure Montessori would be set up to help him with learning differences.

egoldber
02-21-2014, 02:37 PM
I would start by reading here: http://www.rand.org/content/dam/rand/pubs/technical_reports/2009/RAND_TR678.pdf

There is almost no literature showing any benefit to grade retention, even for students performing below grade level.

Indianamom2
02-21-2014, 02:43 PM
This is tough. I think I tend to to agree with Beth that retention probably won't help much and would make his anxiety worse. We redshirted (not technically, but almost) DD because we didn't think she was ready and I am absolutely sure that was in her best interest, but I would have a much harder time with retention because she would see it as a failure (she has major generalized anxiety).

I would pursue further testing with a developmental pedi or psychologist, just to tease out if there is anything they can do to help. It may be that he needs some medication in addition to CBT to help him through his anxiety. That has the best chance of success. I know it's terrifying to put a young child on anxiety meds, but in our case it has made a HUGE difference and I wish we had just done it earlier instead of waiting.

I do think that I would definitely cross off Montessori schools. I'm thinking that wouldn't be a good fit in this case.

westwoodmom04
02-21-2014, 02:45 PM
I did a quick search and here's a link to a school that looks similar to what we have here -- Hyde Park Day-- but sounds as if your son doesn't necessarily have any reading difficulties. http://hpds.uchicago.edu I have a third grader and I agree with PP that what changes most between first to second, second to third, and third to fourth in public school at least, is a much greater focus on student independence, which in my mind, does weigh in favor of keeping him back if he finds school a bit overwhelming at the current level. I have a friend here who is considering moving her young for second grade son -- she is looking at moving him to one of the privates and having him repeat. However, we live in an area where many people switch to private for middle school (sixth grade). I would consult with his teacher, and do what you feel is best. He's still very young, and a move now would be a small thing in the bigger picture.

maylips
02-21-2014, 02:47 PM
My closest friend held her daughter back this year to repeat first grade again. This girl is very, very bright but was having trouble with math. She has a late-August birthday so was also super young for her original grade level, plus had anxiety about things. Her parents met with her original first grade teacher, a second grade teacher and the principal and made the decision that they didn't want school to get away from her at such a young age.

My friend is SO, so glad they made that decision. Her daughter is happier and doesn't care at all that she is in the same grade again. The first week of school, my friend gingerly asked her daughter if it was okay she was in first grade again and the only thing that upset her was that 2nd graders get to choose from a different snack cart than the younger kids! And, as her pediatrician put it, "what does holding her back hurt....now she can't start working earlier once she's older?"

mom2binsd
02-21-2014, 04:25 PM
I was going to write out a response, but Beth beat me to it and did a much better job. Completely agree with this.

Where is he getting help for his expressive issues? We live is a good school district, but I was very unimpressed with the services provided for speech issues in our schools. What made a huge difference in DS was private therapy over the summer. He barely qualified for insurance coverage, but, knowing what I know now, I would happily pay OOP if I had to do it all over again.

Also, what do his teachers recommend?

I also agree, I've worked in special ed at elementary schools and I think retention is not the answer in this situation. There is no guarantee that doing a grade over will be easy, and how would he view this. At this point he will realize he is not moving on with his peers, even if you switch schools. I would see if you can't address the anxiety either with in school support or counseling/therapy outside of school.

smilequeen
02-21-2014, 04:41 PM
If you replace anxiety with ADHD (Inattentive) you've got my middle son. He's also young for grade. We didn't want to redshirt but we did have to seriously consider repeating K. In our case, he was seeing an SLP but his ADHD was not yet diagnosed. We ended up sending him forward and first grade has been overall awesome for him. He sees a private SLP 2x/week at school and takes meds for his ADHD. We also put him in a social skills group because he was struggling with the frustration of his language issues and ADHD.

I am not an expert by any means, but retention was really the last thing we wanted to do. He was a great social fit for his grade level peers, although he has always gotten along great with the younger and older kids (mixed age classroom) he gravitates to, and is best buds with kids who are in his grade level.

What evals have you done? Obviously speech...we ended up doing a cognitive educational evaluation. It didn't show any current LD, but it definitely showed how marked his expressive language issue was. It also pointed us in the direction of the psychologist and neurologist who ultimately diagnosed his ADHD. We do meds but also non med treatments with the guidance of the psychologist. Does he get treatment for the anxiety?

FWIW, I think keeping him with his peers, if he's happy, is best, but my older son also has a milder expressive language issue and we do Montessori and they are thriving...so I disagree with the notion of totally crossing that off the list based on actual experience with it. Still, I'd err on the side of keeping a child where he is if things can be worked out there.

o_mom
02-21-2014, 04:52 PM
I have to agree with Beth and others. It does not sound like retention is the right way to go. The anxiety will still be there with added social issues, etc.

Another thing that would concern me is that being old for grade can hinder getting proper help through the school. Right now he is struggling and if he continues to fall behind, the school will have to intervene and give him services. Qualification for intervention is usually based on grade-level standards, not age-level or potential. If you retain him, he may be at grade level, but they will not help him even though the language disorder will still be there. So later on that might mean he is performing at the level of a low-average 4th grader in 4th grade, but not low enough to qualify for any help. However if he is a 5th grader performing at that level he will qualify for intervention.

I have known several kids who were retained in K/1 and had this happened. They had diagnosed learning disorders and fell off the radar after they were retained because they went from being well below grade-level to just low but still in grade-level. They were just labeled as "not bright" and never got any help.

I'm also strongly of the opinion that if something didn't work the first time, there is no reason to think that doing more of the same will give different results. He may do great in a repeat year, but then struggle again in 3rd or later when he has to move at the faster pace again. At that point even if he qualifies for intervention, you will have lost a year or more of time when he could have been getting help.

Have you asked for an evaluation for an IEP or 504 plan?

Kindra178
02-21-2014, 05:28 PM
I so appreciate everyone's insights. Please keep them coming. Just to clarify, he is really is not struggling in school. He is performing at or above grade level in everything, apart from the expressive language component. His MAP scores were low this winter (the fall one was low for math only; the reading one was well above standards in the fall); to the extent that one puts their faith in that, only the MAP scores would indicate that he is below grade level. We are in the process of getting him an IEP. I will push for a neuropsych eval at the meeting.

O mom, if he has an IEP for language, wouldn't that carry over to whatever public school he went to, regardless of grade?

As to moving, I definitely don't feel like I live in our forever home. This would be a good time to do so, as the twins start kinder in the fall.

rin
02-21-2014, 05:32 PM
I so appreciate everyone's insights. Please keep them coming. Just to clarify, he is really is not struggling in school. He is performing at or above grade level in everything, apart from the expressive language component. His MAP scores were low this winter (the fall one was low for math only; the reading one was well above standards in the fall); to the extent that one puts their faith in that, only the MAP scores would indicate that he is below grade level. We are in the process of getting him an IEP. I will push for a neuropsych eval at the meeting.

O mom, if he has an IEP for language, wouldn't that carry over to whatever public school he went to, regardless of grade?

As to moving, I definitely don't feel like I live in our forever home. This would be a good time to do so, as the twins start kinder in the fall.

Hearing that he's performing at or above grade level in everything, I would be even more hesitant to consider retaining him. Repeating subject matter that was mastered at least a year ago is, IMO, unlikely to help his social skills.

o_mom
02-21-2014, 05:55 PM
I so appreciate everyone's insights. Please keep them coming. Just to clarify, he is really is not struggling in school. He is performing at or above grade level in everything, apart from the expressive language component. His MAP scores were low this winter (the fall one was low for math only; the reading one was well above standards in the fall); to the extent that one puts their faith in that, only the MAP scores would indicate that he is below grade level. We are in the process of getting him an IEP. I will push for a neuropsych eval at the meeting.

O mom, if he has an IEP for language, wouldn't that carry over to whatever public school he went to, regardless of grade?

As to moving, I definitely don't feel like I live in our forever home. This would be a good time to do so, as the twins start kinder in the fall.

An IEP may actually make it harder to retain him. Retention of Sp Ed students is seen as a failure to meet their needs and my guess is the school would push hard not to retain him. If he moves schools, the new school only has to follow the old IEP until they evaluate him and hold a new IEP meeting. If he is evaluated for a lower grade he likely will not qualify from what you have said (he may still get a 504 for the anxiety, though). I'm not sure if a public school would even allow you to enroll him in a lower grade at will.

Honestly if he is at or above in most areas, you are going to be hard pressed to find support for retention. It sounds like the teachers that support it think that it would help the anxiety, but they probably do not understand that anxiety does not work that way, as Beth pointed out. I would also worry that retaining him would have the opposite effect - instead of relaxing because it is easier, he may see it as validation of his anxiety that he is not good enough/can't do it. Kind of like saying "See you were right - you really can't do second grade work, so we are going to hold you back".

I hope you can get a clearer picture from the meeting and evaluations!

maestramommy
02-21-2014, 06:52 PM
I would also not retain. At least not without doing all the steps Beth mentioned. We have asked the question for DD2 when she was about to leave prek and when she was about leave K. In both cases we were told pretty definitely that she was not a candidate for retention, because she was/is performing at and above grade level. Her issues are language based, she is a perfectionist and so has some anxiety around it. But in the opinion of her IEP team that is a separate issue from academics, which so far are not a problem.

KHF
02-21-2014, 07:21 PM
We retained DD in first grade after a LOT of discussion with school counselors, her teacher, her tutors and pretty much anyone we could talk to. She had a late August birthday and was 4 in K. In between the two first grade years she was diagnosed with dyslexia. During her 2nd first grade year she was diagnosed with AD/HD inattentive type. We started tutoring for dyslexia even prior to her being officially diagnosed, but it wasn't enough to catch her up. I just felt like since she was already the youngest in the class that there was no real down side. I wouldn't have done it any later than first grade though. I also only agreed to it if she could have the same teacher for the second year. It was a great experience for her and I have to say that her confidence did skyrocket, both socially and academically. She's now in second grade and reading at grade level. She's still in tutoring twice a week, but is in the regular classroom at school with no pull-outs. I'm not sure about retention in the case of anxiety, but for us, it was the right call. If you have any other questions, feel free to PM me. It was probably the toughest decision I've had to make in regards to her.

ahisma
02-21-2014, 07:34 PM
It sounds like his MAP scores are not reflective of his performance outside of the MAP testing. I'd consider the fact that his MAP performance could be impact by anxiety.

As the mom to an anxiety kid, I'd start with a therapist. Ours has done wonders for DS2. The anxiety is still there, for sure, but it's getting easier for him and us to manage. I agree with PP's comment that anxiety is not logical. DS is not worried about any of the things that I'd think would / should worry him. It's typically very illogical (will the Zamboni attack me on the ice? Will a bear run in front of the car (in the city)?) Roller coasters? No problem. Riding a bike? No problem.

Along with the anxiety we're starting to see some perfectionism, which is also on our radar for school. Our approach was to red shirt him, but at the time we hadn't identified the anxiety, just that *something* was going on. We're also seeking the least academic class next year for K (in a very academic district, it's not as though he'll be shortchanged). We want him to be able to focus on the K experience, not the academics. Sort of a conquer one beast at a time kind of approach.

I will say that, at least here, first grade is intense. DS1 is in first now and it's blowing my mind. He and his buddies had a no holds barred disagreement on the difference between an homophone and a homonym the other day. I had to google. 1st grade. Too much, IMO.

inmypjs
02-21-2014, 10:15 PM
I would also not retain based on what you are saying. It sounds like anxiety is really the only reason, and that is going to be there regardless IMO. I am familiar with the research on retention due to being part of a grass-roots organization in my state that is trying to influence educational policy, and like Beth said, retention really does not benefit anyone - even students who are having difficulties.

It's great that he's not having academic difficulties now, but like another poster said, if he does have trouble later when the demands get higher, retention could negatively impact his ability to get help. This happened to a friend of mine who recently went from homeschooling to public school. Her daughter has a borderline birthday, and she could have either put her in 3rd or 4th grade. She chose 3rd, because she's been having a few academic struggles. She needs extra help but is not getting it, because her scores are not low enough percentiles to qualify when compared with 3rd grade peers. If she were in 4th grade, she would qualify without a doubt. So that is something to think about - that if you retain, all of his scores are going to be compared to a grade lower and it may delay getting any help that he could need.

Not sure who diagnosed your son, but just wanted to put in a plug for using private resources to diagnose and work on the expressive language. I don't mean for this to sound bad but I don't know many teachers, even special ed, who receive training in that sort of thing. I would not rely on the school to remediate that.

mom2binsd
02-21-2014, 11:38 PM
MAP scores should not really be used for any type of "assessment" alone, they were all the rage about two years ago, esp in IL where OP is (me too) but even now our district is going to stop using them....too many kids find them stressful, some kids don't take them seriously and they just don't give that much good informaiton.

I agree, I'd look at dealing with the anxiety and that can have an impact across all areas and will be something to develop coping strategies for.

BunnyBee
02-22-2014, 12:17 AM
I would not retain either, but it is possible a different learning environment would be a better fit for him.

sste
02-22-2014, 12:38 AM
It sounds like if you average everything out, your son is at or above grade level? And will the school even let you retain? I am not clear on this at all but when the decision involves the school providing 14 instead of 13 years of free schooling I don't know that they are always open to that with a kid who is not failing academically. Maybe others can speak to that.

I am biased because my sister was held back, admittedly in a different age of stigma, and it left huge psychological scars. I am sure part of that is her personality and she is also anxious and somewhat negative - - but it perm. affected her self-esteem and she was retained in kindy! Other kids asked her about it in elementary. She still remembers these details and it is a major life regret for her.

My son sounds similar to your DS. We were channeled into an IEP in week 1 for DS's speech articulation and then I used that to request evaluation and services for OT (writing and also he has some visual perception issues). I love his SLP and OT! They are better than the two private ones I met with and it has been helpful to have him start so early with them -- SLP thinks he will continue with speech for first and at most second, most likely will age out after first grade. DS is also anxious but he has been highly responsive to the techniques we have tried at home and also his teacher is amazing and has readily implemented things in school. With the IEP we can also get greater access to the school social worker. Really, the IEP is a golden ticket, particularly if your school has high quality specialists. Anyway, I would never retain my DS even though he is variously quite a bit ahead and quite a bit behind area by area. Anxious often goes along with perceptive and sensitive. He would understand the retention and its implications in about 30 seconds. Plus too smart! Your son sounds too smart!

Kindra178
02-22-2014, 12:59 AM
It sounds like if you average everything out, your son is at or above grade level? And will the school even let you retain? I am not clear on this at all but when the decision involves the school providing 14 instead of 13 years of free schooling I don't know that they are always open to that with a kid who is not failing academically. Maybe others can speak to that.

I am biased because my sister was held back, admittedly in a different age of stigma, and it left huge psychological scars. I am sure part of that is her personality and she is also anxious and somewhat negative - - but it perm. affected her self-esteem and she was retained in kindy! Other kids asked her about it in elementary. She still remembers these details and it is a major life regret for her.

My son sounds similar to your DS. We were channeled into an IEP in week 1 for DS's speech articulation and then I used that to request evaluation and services for OT (writing and also he has some visual perception issues). I love his SLP and OT! They are better than the two private ones I met with and it has been helpful to have him start so early with them -- SLP thinks he will continue with speech for first and at most second, most likely will age out after first grade. DS is also anxious but he has been highly responsive to the techniques we have tried at home and also his teacher is amazing and has readily implemented things in school. With the IEP we can also get greater access to the school social worker. Really, the IEP is a golden ticket, particularly if your school has high quality specialists. Anyway, I would never retain my DS even though he is variously quite a bit ahead and quite a bit behind area by area. Anxious often goes along with perceptive and sensitive. He would understand the retention and its implications in about 30 seconds. Plus too smart! Your son sounds too smart!

I don't think the school would let us retain. You know where we live. While it's a good/well funded/resourced district, there are many children who do worse than he does. I fear that he is not working up to his potential due to anxiety and the language issues. We would move if we decide to redshirt.

jacksmomtobe
02-22-2014, 08:03 AM
I don't think you should retain your son. In reading your posts two areas of concern I see are test performance and anxiety. Could it be that your son just does not perform well on tests? Possibly this is due to his anxiety. Were any special accommodations made for him during the testing? Personally think the value of information gained from this type of testing (we don't use this test here but it seems to be similar to other common core tests) is much less than the thoughts of those who work with him on a daily basis. With him being above in certain areas i don't see retaining being beneficial. I also agree that he may see this as validation that he failed and thus it could feed the anxiety feelings and possibly lead to frustration and loss of motivation. You want him to continue to quality for special services. In our area the public schools tend to be the best provider of services. Switching schools to make the change may increase his anxiety. I would only consider that if it were truly a better place for him to be or a better life decision for your family not just as a way to have him retained.

o_mom
02-22-2014, 08:47 AM
I don't think the school would let us retain. You know where we live. While it's a good/well funded/resourced district, there are many children who do worse than he does. I fear that he is not working up to his potential due to anxiety and the language issues. We would move if we decide to redshirt.

I am not sure another public school would let you retain him either. As soon as they see he passed second grade with average to above-average scores, they are going to put him in third. A private school may, but that has its own set of issues. I would focus on getting appropriate accommodations and remediation in areas where he is really behind (and I would use testing other than MAP to find those).

sste
02-22-2014, 09:59 AM
Kindra, I just wanted to add -- as I know this is stressful for the parent esp in this age of red shirting with all this second guessing about did I make the right call about school entry time - - that in our limited experience these things can change from year to year and I am dubious a static and universal right call is even possible across 13 years of schooling. Especially when the DC in question is so young.

In our case, we never considered red shirting even though our feedback from our excellent preschool was concerning: writing difficulties (they said we would need an OT, he could not write his name even and certainly not any other letters), speech issues (hard to understand), social problems (this was the biggest issue at that point), letter recognition, very bright. In kindy, the handwriting has improved unbelievably with the OT and with his incredible teacher working alot with him in a full-day program -- he is probably close to middle of the pack now in terms of legibility but it does require alot more effort and time for him to achieve that writing. The social problems disappeared for the time being at least! Teacher built this wonderful classroom environment, they feel like a little team in there and countless times I have seen his little friends looking out for DS (school has "be caring" as one of its four rules and kids are rewarded and recognized for acts of caring). I really credit the teacher with ALOT in our case! Do you think a different teacher, as he will have next year, may be a better fit?

It may be that your DS gets some more services and/or has a teacher he personally really clicks with next year or the curriculum moves toward his strengths . . .and you end up looking at a markedly different picture of his performance. :)

ETA: For anxiety we like the Tamar Chansky books, rec'd here by egoldberg and others. We started when his was three years old implementing the techniques and at this point he can't remember a time when we haven't talked to him about "talking back to his negative brain" and asked questions to try to right-size the problems ("well, did you punch a kid? Did you burn the school down? Cutting in line is something you should put in effort not to do but it is not the end of the world DS!), he even knows what growth mindset means. DS has never had the robber type worries, more about health and death and we have repeated probably five thousand times, "That is why mommy and daddy are always working hard and doing an excellent job keeping you safe." See if your district has a psychologist trained in CBT, we use fish oil too don't know for sure if that works or not but it hasn't hurt.

cilantromapuche
02-22-2014, 10:51 AM
I wouldn't base anything MAP testing. There are so many flaws. One strategy that helped DS with crippling anxiety is visualizing and talking things through. Sometimes we have to play out the worst case scenario. In addition to therapy and medication it helps.

westwoodmom04
02-22-2014, 11:48 AM
I agree that it might be hard to have him retained in public school if he is performing at grade level or above. The private schools here have a birthday cutoff six months earlier than public, so they would definitely retain him, not sure how it is in your area. We are committed to public schools at least for elementary and it sounds like you are as well. I wonder however if your son might do better in a smaller class with less emphasis on testing than is currently the case in public schools. I've had several friends move from public to private because the public class room environment just wasn't a good fit for their kid (most left their other children in the public school).