I am mad!

[MMMommy]

So DD2 had her first sleep-over birthday party this weekend. I gave out cute PJs for each guest, thinking it is practical and nice (and fits in with the slumber party theme).

Background info: So DD2's best friend is "Lisa." Last year, I let DD2 invite one friend to DD1's slumber party. DD2 invited Lisa as her one friend to DD1's slumber party. I had given PJs as a party favor for DD1's party last year. Of course not the same PJs as the ones I gave out this weekend for DD2's party. So Lisa got PJs from DD1's party (as DD2's guest) a year and a half ago and also from the party this weekend. Different kids, different friends, different PJs. The only common factor is Lisa.

After the party today, Lisa's mom tells me that Lisa was so disappointed by DD2's party favor because Lisa was hoping for candy. She tells me that Lisa said to her "that's all I get, no candy?" And then Lisa's mom tells me "next time, just give Lisa candy instead." And even worse, Lisa's mom further adds "Lisa complained that she got PJs again after getting PJs from you at DD1's slumber party."

Now, color me peeved by this. I went to a lot of trouble and many stores to find cute PJs. Who in their right mind thinks it is okay to say this to a host? Now, I understand that kids are kids. Lisa is entitled to her feelings and can complain all she wants about the favor. She can love it, hate it, whatever. But Lisa's mom should not be telling me this and then telling me to give her daughter candy next time.

Grrrrrr.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Wow! That is one nervy (and b*tchy) mom. Maybe (trying to think of any redeeming scenario) she was telling you that it'd be ok to save money and skip the fancy favor next time. Of course, I'd be less inclined to invite Lisa... Sorry that happened. I'd be ticked too.

[elbenn]

She was way out of line to say anything to you about the party favors other than thanks. So very rude! It's also bizarre because who would rather have their kids get candy than pjs?

[MMMommy]

Wow! That is one nervy (and b*tchy) mom. Maybe (trying to think of any redeeming scenario) she was telling you that it'd be ok to save money and skip the fancy favor next time. Of course, I'd be less inclined to invite Lisa... Sorry that happened. I'd be ticked too.

You might be right about her trying to say that I don't need to spend as much next time, since "kids just want candy." Still ungrateful and rude. And she shouldn't be telling me that Lisa was upset about getting PJS "again.'

[TwinFoxes]

After the party today, Lisa's mom tells me that Lisa was so disappointed by DD2's party favor because Lisa was hoping for candy. She tells me that Lisa said to her "that's all I get, no candy?" And then Lisa's mom tells me "next time, just give Lisa candy instead." And even worse, Lisa's mom further adds "Lisa complained that she got PJs again after getting PJs from you at DD1's slumber party."

Well I certainly didn't see that coming!



Now, color me peeved by this. I went to a lot of trouble and many stores to find cute PJs. Who in their right mind thinks it is okay to say this to a host? Now, I understand that kids are kids. Lisa is entitled to her feelings and can complain all she wants about the favor. She can love it, hate it, whatever. But Lisa's mom should not be telling me this and then telling me to give her daughter candy next time.

Grrrrrr.

I totally agree. I think this may officially take the cake. I think I'd be saying. More than "grrrrrr!" BTW, what did you say to her? I'm rarely speechless, but even I might have been gobsmacked.

[MMMommy]

I was taken aback by her telling me all this, that I honestly didn't know what to say. I think all I could muster up was "I assume parents would rather I not give their kids candy." That was all I said. I didn't even know what to say.

[JustMe]

Wow! I have no words for Lisa's mom!

[BDKmom]

Seriously?!? Why do people think it's ok to act like this? "Thank you for hosting my daughter" would have been sufficient. Geez.

[Ceepa]

I'd drive over to her house and kick her right in the balls!

[Kymberley]

I would be LIVID. The NERVE!!!

[hillview]

That is SO bad to be funny. WOW. UNREAL.

[ECMom]

Wow! Just when you think you've heard everything. Very ungrateful, both of them! Lisa wouldn't be coming to anymore sleepovers at my house.

[lalasmama]

I'm speechless! WTF?? Who *wants* kids to get a bunch of candy?!?! I'd be *thrilled* if DD came home from a sleepover with a new pair of PJs as a favor!

[niccig]

Wow! Just when you think you've heard everything. Very ungrateful, both of them! Lisa wouldn't be coming to anymore sleepovers at my house.

No guesses needed for where Lisa learned her entitled behavior from!!
I know kids don't have a filter, this was a teaching moment for Lisa's mom to tell her that you're gracious when you get a gift even if it's not what you want. You don't go tell the host!

I've heard a few stories like this lately about a kid then their parent shows same behavior.

[twowhat?]

Whaaaa....wow. I'd be tempted to lovingly package a handful of Atomic Fireballs and leave it on their porch.

[Tondi G]

Wow ... she is unbelievable! Has she never heard "If you don't have something nice to say, you say nothing at all". I think that would be the last time I would invite Lisa over for a sleepover party. She is a brat and her mother is rude.

[Melaine]

I am speechless!!! It is no wonder some children behave terribly with parents like that raising them. Unbelievable.

[DietCokeLover]

I would go buy her a $.50 candy bar and ask for the pajamas back. Explaining that there are some needy families who would be extremely grateful to receive your gift.

Unbelievably rude.

[PZMommy]

I'd be livid!! That us extremely rude!! I get Lisa may not have a filter, but her mother should. My kids aren't old enough for sleepovers, but I'd be thrilled if they got jammies instead of candy.

[SummerBaby]

I would go buy her a $.50 candy bar and ask for the pajamas back. Explaining that there are some needy families who would be extremely grateful to receive your gift.

Unbelievably rude.

I think I have now officially heard it all!! I cant believe an adult would say that!

[AshleyAnn]

Wow. Just wow. Why would any sane person do this? Even of you are thinking it you don't just spit out whatever runs thru your head.

[BunnyBee]

Well, okay then. "Lisa" doesn't have to come to any of your future parties! Problem solved! And you can buy "Lisa" a 10lb bag of sugar for her birthday.

[barkley1]

I have no words. :47:

[StantonHyde]

I am truly astonished and appalled. There are so many ways that woman was wrong, it is just amazing!!!!!! Good riddance.

[DualvansMommy]

Oh.my.god...... I can't believe there are people like Lisa's mom existing out there!!!! I would have been so flabbergasted that I wouldn't have had a word to say...unbelievable!

[MMMommy]

I am glad I posted here to vent. All I kept thinking was "who does that?" Who actually says stuff like this to a host after a party? How could any reasonable person think that would be okay to say? I just don't get it.

[123LuckyMom]

I am glad I posted here to vent. All I kept thinking was "who does that?" Who actually says stuff like this to a host after a party? How could any reasonable person think that would be okay to say? I just don't get it.

You're right! I cannot even imagine a grown-up behaving this way! I wouldn't do it (because I am not as rude as that awful mother), but I'd be soooo tempted next time to call that mother and say, "I just wanted to let you know we won't be inviting Lisa to the slumber parties this year, because we're giving pjs as a favor again, and I know she doesn't like them. We will be giving out candy at Halloween, though, so maybe we'll see her then." I might choose to give her candy, and candy alone, for her birthday. I mean, it's what she likes, right?

[SnuggleBuggles]

Well, okay then. "Lisa" doesn't have to come to any of your future parties! Problem solved! And you can buy "Lisa" a 10lb bag of sugar for her birthday.

Yes, wrap up a wad of candy bars for Lisa's birthday. Perfect.

[Globetrotter]

That is one of the rudest party-related comments that I have ever read in the bitching post.

Just know that she is the one with the problem, NOT you! Geez. PJs are a VERY thoughtful and useful gift, but that's beside the point.. if you had given candy, would she have complained that you didn't give PJs like you did last time?

[Seitvonzu]

holymoly :(
what an ungrateful child and, of course that mother's behavior is the most shocking part. i'd be SO embarassed if my kid even expressed something like that to ME, i'd NEVER say anything to the other mom. :(

[wellyes]

Lisa's mom is the worst. WOW!

[ChristinaLucia]

When I opened this thread this totally wasn't where I thought it was going! What a nut job? First to say anything expect for thank you. Second, who in their right mind would rather their kid get CANDY? LOL. Ugh. I wouldn't be friends with the mom, but I probably would let the kids friendship go on since it's not the daughter's fault the mom isn't teaching her.

You handled it well! I would have accidentally dropped a swear word I am pretty sure.

[misshollygolightly]

What the what?!?! That just doesn't even make any sense! Lisa's mom sounds like a real piece of work. Have you had other interactions with her? Is she just completely off her rocker on a daily basis?

[doberbrat]

"Lisa complained that she got PJs again after getting PJs from you at DD1's slumber party."

I have officially heard it ALL now.



At first, I thought maybe she was trying in a very awkward way to say you dont need to spend so much they'd be happy with candy but this makes it clear that she's complaining b/c she got the same favor 2 years in a row. Never mind that last year's pjs probably dont fit and this year's are different.......

Yeah, that child would no longer be welcome at my house!

[cookiemonster80]

For what it's worth I and dd1 would be over the moon with pj party favors- wow!

[♥ms.pacman♥]

I have officially heard it ALL now.

:yeahthat: Um, yes. WOW is all I can say. I would have been too dumbfounded to say anything. Who complains to the host about a party favor?? OMG.

[ahisma]

WHAT??

We were at a party the other day where they got knock-off matchbox cars and a balloon. The kids were THRILLED. Never would anyone, ever, for any reason under the sun, complain about a favor - let alone something as cool as PJ pants.

I know Lisa is a kid and you can't do this to her, but I would be super tempted to invite her next year, give out pj pants to the rest of the kids and give her a mini tootsie-roll.

[HannaAddict]

Wow! Just when you think you've heard everything. Very ungrateful, both of them! Lisa wouldn't be coming to anymore sleepovers at my house.

I think the problem is Lisa's mom, not Lisa. I wouldn't punish the child. Kids can say whatever they want to their parents and who knows if that is even what or how she said it. Lisa's mom was wrong to say anything, but I bet she really meant to so something simpler as a favor is fine, and what she said was rude as the OP describes. But I don't see punishing Lisa.

[HannaAddict]

WHAT??

We were at a party the other day where they got knock-off matchbox cars and a balloon. The kids were THRILLED. Never would anyone, ever, for any reason under the sun, complain about a favor - let alone something as cool as PJ pants.

I know Lisa is a kid and you can't do this to her, but I would be super tempted to invite her next year, give out pj pants to the rest of the kids and give her a mini tootsie-roll.

Why even say that? I would save the revenge fantasies for the parents.

[ahisma]

Why even say that? I would save the revenge fantasies for the parents.

Ouch. Bad day, HannaAddict? I hope tomorrow is better!

I was pretty clear that I wouldn't DO it and didn't see it as appropriate.

[MMMommy]

I don't blame Lisa, I blame her mother. I blame Lisa's mom for rudely sharing Lisa's comments, for suggesting what I should give Lisa in the future, and for telling me what a drag it was for Lisa to receive PJs from me twice as a party favor.

Having said that, i think Lisa's mom could stand to teach her daughter graciousness and consideration. We do not always get what we want in life, and we may not always like what we are given. But we should be grateful and thankful to be given anything, period.

FWIW, the guests were 9 year old girls. I do expect a certain degree of maturity and respectfulness from a 9 year old.

[squimp]

Lisa's mom leaves me speechless! Unbelievable. Poor kid.

[HannaAddict]

I don't blame Lisa, I blame her mother. I blame Lisa's mom for rudely sharing Lisa's comments, for suggesting what I should give Lisa in the future, and for telling me what a drag it was for Lisa to receive PJs from me twice as a party favor.

Having said that, i think Lisa's mom could stand to teach her daughter graciousness and consideration. We do not always get what we want in life, and we may not always like what we are given. But we should be grateful and thankful to be given anything, period.

FWIW, the guests were 9 year old girls. I do expect a certain degree of maturity and respectfulness from a 9 year old.

It really sounds more like what an adult would say than a kid, and I can't imagine a mom throwing her daughter under the bus that way. That is why the mom seems totally weird in saying that to you, maybe she thinks PJ's are a weird party favor and in her own weird way is expressing that. I agree it is rude of her to say, but since you didn't hear it from Lisa and sounds like she's friends with your daughter, I wouldn't hold her accountable for her mom's total lack of graciousness.

[HannaAddict]

Ouch. Bad day, HannaAddict? I hope tomorrow is better!

I was pretty clear that I wouldn't DO it and didn't see it as appropriate.

Oh, I get you wouldn't really do it. I should have cut and paste all the comments from the posters suggesting ornery or mean comebacks to the child or refusing to invite her back. I just don't get directing the fire and ire at the kid, especially when the kid didn't say it to the host. Even though it is the BP, I am saddened at how wrathy people get (not the OP!). And after watching an IRL birthday mom today, who was less than gracious to her own birthday guests, it rubbed me the wrong way. But overall, not a bad day at all. :)

[Gracemom]

Some people have no social skills! And they are passing on their lack of skills to their kids, unfortunately. In 10 years of b-day parties, I have only had one kid complain about the favor, directly to me. I laughed it off. I cannot imagine that a mom would care at all about a party favor. Does she not have anything more important to worry about??? If you don't like the PJ's, donate them. If your kids needs candy (????) buy her some on the way home. Really?? I would not be inviting this family back anytime soon.

[almostmom]

Wow - unbelievable. And i just had to post because I have a kid who has a major sweet tooth, and loves getting candy after a party (she would also LOVE to get pjs though!). I can imagine her saying something to me about a goody bag that didn't have candy, that she was disappointed, but that would be the end of it, because she knows that she can't CHOOSE what she gets when someone gives her a present! It's fine to share disappointment in your own home, but not outside it! And for the mom to not have the balls to teach that to her kid, to not be able to handle her child's disappointment at such a minor level, well, I feel bad for whoever has to deal with her (the mom) on a regular basis - teachers especially! Not everything is going to go as expected for Lisa, and if her mom isn't there to tell her that's life, let her mope and get over it, then Lisa is going to become a huge brat.

I think PJs seem like a really generous and awesome gift to attendees. And though DD loves sweets, she seriously would be so psyched to get pjs in that situation.

[Philly Mom]

Wow. Obnoxious. The mother, wow. I also need to say, pjs as a party favor, incredibly generous. I didn't know people gave out favors for sleepovers let alone such a nice and useful gift.


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[MamaMolly]

Jaw droppingly tacky.

Lisa's mom is RUUUUUUUUUUUDE. It's one of those times when I would hope I had the presence of mind to just look at the other adult and say 'wait, what did you just say?' and if she had the chutzpa to repeat it then say 'o. I thought that's what you said'. :irked:

[twowhat?]

Oh, I get you wouldn't really do it. I should have cut and paste all the comments from the posters suggesting ornery or mean comebacks to the child or refusing to invite her back. I just don't get directing the fire and ire at the kid, especially when the kid didn't say it to the host. Even though it is the BP, I am saddened at how wrathy people get (not the OP!). And after watching an IRL birthday mom today, who was less than gracious to her own birthday guests, it rubbed me the wrong way. But overall, not a bad day at all. :)

Yes, you are right that it's the Mom's fault, entirely. What Lisa did was age appropriate. what the Mom said was NOT! I think a lot of us just got caught up in how truly jaw-dropping the whole conversation with the mom was.

[crayonblue]

Lisa's mom is pretty unbelievable. That is SO RUDE!!!!!!!!!! Agreeing with others to not take it out on the kid but I know easier said than done. I have a relative who says absolutely ridiculous things like this both to me and my kids and it is awfully hard for me not to think her kids are total brats when for the most part, it is her.

[doberbrat]

I agree that the issue is with Lisa's MOM and not her and that it is a bit unfair to penalize Lisa when she clearly isnt getting taught manners at home AND her mother is adding fuel to the fire with her own comments BUT I still wouldnt be having her over for sleepovers anymore. Personally, I dont need the hassle. And, I'll be honest, I try to steer dds' towards friends with morals/values/manners that I agree with. dd1 is 8.5 so right now, I have some control over who her close friends are

[KpbS]

Absolutely unbelievable!!!!!! Who complains about a favor? It is a GIFT for coming to a party which is totally gratis.

I seriously would have laughed in her face thinking she was telling me a joke.

[janine]

WOW. I'd be saying, ok I'll avoid giving her favors next time and you can buy her candy at your leisure.

[Reader]

That's awful. I wouldn't even know what to say. Is there any possibility Lisa's mom thinks you and she are close friends? I could see a close friend complaining about their DD and snarkily saying that DD didn't appreciate the thoughtful gift so next time just give her junk. It obviously didn't come out that way, so it doesn't matter, but maybe that's where she was going with it.