Why didn't I just say NO?!?!

[elizamom]

We went over to another couple's home this evening for dinner. We don't know them very well and they are very proper and old-fashioned. The wife worked hard to make a very perfect 5 course type meal. I have given up all processed sugar, as of 2 months ago. When dessert was put in front of all of us, she was clearly very excited about what she had made. And it was a perfect chocolate mousse with massive amounts of whipped cream on it. I couldn't bring myself to say no and explain I had given up sugar. I ate the whole thing. It was huge. And I didn't even like it.
I guess this is a bitch post about myself for not saying no. ?! I didn't know where else to post this randomness. I just didn't want to eat it but I felt like I had to!!! Argh!!
Would you have said no in this situation? It wasn't like we were asked if we wanted the dessert. It was given out and then she beamed with pride....

[Green_Tea]

We went over to another couple's home this evening for dinner. We don't know them very well and they are very proper and old-fashioned. The wife worked hard to make a very perfect 5 course type meal. I have given up all processed sugar, as of 2 months ago. When dessert was put in front of all of us, she was clearly very excited about what she had made. And it was a perfect chocolate mousse with massive amounts of whipped cream on it. I couldn't bring myself to say no and explain I had given up sugar. I ate the whole thing. It was huge. And I didn't even like it.
I guess this is a bitch post about myself for not saying no. ?! I didn't know where else to post this randomness. I just didn't want to eat it but I felt like I had to!!! Argh!!
Would you have said no in this situation? It wasn't like we were asked if we wanted the dessert. It was given out and then she beamed with pride....

I would not have had the heart to say no. I think you did the right thing by being a gracious guest. Move on - tomorrow is another day, and one dessert will not ruin your resolve!

[HannaAddict]

If I didn't have a deadly allergy, I would have eaten it and been gracious. I might not have eaten the whole thing but I wouldn't have refused it at a dinner like this. Just try and get back on the no sugar plan again. She was being a good hostess and it wouldn't occur to me not to serve a dessert like that.

[wellyes]

I would have had some of it too in your shoes. You were a gracious guest and that is a good thing. Don't beat yourself up.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'd have eaten it too.

You have made a lifestyle choice that isn't common. This is going to come up a ton. You'll have to formulate a plan going forward. Barring allergies or significant health reasons, i'd consider allowing yourself occasional diet breaks. A treat here and there shouldn't really throw you off track. Otherwise, you'll need to decide what to tell people when they invite you over before you arrive.

[MMMommy]

Barring a food allergy, I would have also eaten some of the dessert to be a gracious guest. I think you did the right thing. I would have eaten some of it, but not necessarily the entire serving.

[eagle]

put yourself in her shoes. you sweated over a dinner. its a lot of work. i think you did the right thing. from here on, though, maybe before you accept dinner invites, (or at the time you accept) mention that youve given up sugar and that you might not partake in desserts or whatever it is you choose not to eat.

again, in my opinion, since you didnt give her a heads up before she cooked the meal, i think you did the right thing. you maybe didnt have to finish it, but that was also nice that you did, esp considering you didnt even like it.

continue on with your diet. one night will set you back exactly one night. :D

good luck and dont let this stop you from accepting dinners in the future!

[Globetrotter]

This is a tough one, but I think you did the right thing. Next time you could ask for a smaller portion for health reasons, if you want- I don't think that would be rude at all and, in fact, almost every adult who comes over asks for a sliver of dessert for health reasons.

[BunnyBee]

I would've eaten it too, or taken a few bites before protesting about how full I was from the fabulous meal. :) If it makes you feel better, the recipe I've used for mousse only has about 1 tablespoon of sugar for 4-6 servings. If you haven't had sugar at all, even a dark chocolate mousse like that might taste very sweet. You were a kind guest. Don't beat yourself up!

[essnce629]

I would have eaten it and loved it! I eat pretty paleo, don't use sugar at home, etc but do love a great dessert once in a while! In fact, the whole family and I went out to Yogurtland tonight to celebrate finally getting our dishwasher put in after 5+ weeks! You bet I had a bowl of frozen yogurt complete with toppings of peanut butter cups, cookie dough, chocolate syrup, and whipped cream! I don't feel bad at all and tomorrow I will go back to my normal paleo eating. A once in a while dessert won't hurt you.

[ZeeBaby]

I agree with everyone else, you did the right thing. Sometimes our personal resolves will butt heads with hurting people's feelings and you did the right thing. She worked very hard and clearly wanted to impress you and your DH. I would not have eaten the whole thing. I would have taken a few bites and said I was full. If the kids are around I decline dessert and say I will share with them since they never finish anything. I take a couple of bites to be polite. If DDs eat all even better for me. By that time everyone has forgotten I declined dessert.

[elizamom]

Thanks ladies. I guess I am still learning how to do this no sugar thing. When I first started it felt impossible, as I was someone that ate treats every day. Now that I've been successful at it for 2 months, it may be time to indulge every now and then. The thing about last night was, I didn't like it!! I wanted to use my sugar ticket on something I loved. Oh well. I'm over it now. Next sugar ticket will be something I actually want! Thanks again.

[Gracemom]

I think you were being a good friend! I probably would have declined and said that I was too full for dessert, then asked if she could pack a small serving for me to go so I could enjoy it the next day. I would then give it to my DH to eat. A little deceptive but I would do it to spare her feelings. For me, I have a true sugar addiction, and having just a little can trigger me for days and days of sugar cravings and binging. This is not something I tend to tell people IRL as it is awkward, like telling people you are an alcoholic. I have told close friends. They will still serve dessert, but they know why I am declining.

[queenmama]

I think you were being a good friend! I probably would have declined and said that I was too full for dessert, then asked if she could pack a small serving for me to go so I could enjoy it the next day. I would then give it to my DH to eat. A little deceptive but I would do it to spare her feelings. For me, I have a true sugar addiction, and having just a little can trigger me for days and days of sugar cravings and binging. This is not something I tend to tell people IRL as it is awkward, like telling people you are an alcoholic. I have told close friends. They will still serve dessert, but they know why I am declining.

Excellent advice!

I do agree that you were as gracious a guest as she was a hostess! ;) For all you know, she felt tremendous pressure to impress, and she might be happy to hear (down the road) that she doesn't need to go to quite so much trouble for you! :)

Lara

[megs4413]

I think you did the right thing as a guest. I'm sorry you're regretting it today, though!

[elizamom]

I think you were being a good friend! I probably would have declined and said that I was too full for dessert, then asked if she could pack a small serving for me to go so I could enjoy it the next day. I would then give it to my DH to eat. A little deceptive but I would do it to spare her feelings. For me, I have a true sugar addiction, and having just a little can trigger me for days and days of sugar cravings and binging. This is not something I tend to tell people IRL as it is awkward, like telling people you are an alcoholic. I have told close friends. They will still serve dessert, but they know why I am declining.

Now that is good. That would have been perfect. I'll save it if there is a next time.

And yes! So far, I've done best without any sugar, as opposed to allowing myself little bits. It's just a tease and gets me craving more! When I cut it out completely, I find it much easier.

[crayonblue]

I think you should be proud of yourself, not beating yourself up!!!! You thought of how your friend would feel if you had refused. I love that. Good for you!