Heading back to work. So sad and other logistical concerns with 2 kids

[Philly Mom]

I head back to work on Monday. Intellectually, I know all the reasons I work but I am so sad to be leaving DD2. It doesn't help that the weather finally is nice and I don't like her daycare for the first two months before there is room at DD1's school. Of course, that means two drop offs/pick ups for two months too. Ugh. Most of all I am actually sad to be losing our nursing relationship we worked so hard to build. I did not enjoy it for so long but now do. She has spent three days in daycare and the most I have been able to pump is 5 oz. today was only 4.5. I don't mind formula at all. She has had some all along. I am just concerned that we won't be able to nurse at all once I have nothing during the day. I hate pumping and it is hard to do with meetings so I am not going to do extra pumpings to get more. She is only 5 months. I just wish we had more time together. Ok. Pity party over. I am sure in a month I will be glad to be back. Our bank account definitely will be.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Kindra178]

It's hard at first. Definitely feel free to mourn a little bit. Pity party all you want. On the other hand, revel in the adult conversation with Starbucks in hand.

[mommylamb]

It's hard at first. Definitely feel free to mourn a little bit. Pity party all you want. On the other hand, revel in the adult conversation with Starbucks in hand.
:yeahthat: Going back i shard no matter what. No matter how much you like your job or how much it is the right thing for you and your family in the long run. But you will settle back in and little by little the good parts of working will make it worthwhile. Wishing you a smooth transition.

[TxCat]

:hug:

Those first couple of days back are the hardest and then it gets a little easier every day. But I agree with Kindra - pity party all you need to. I will say, sometimes when I feel like I'm just flailing at all things home and parenting-related, it is nice to know that I'll be going to work the next day, where I usually feel pretty competent.

As for the nursing, hopefully she'll want to make up fir the time lost during the day with longer sessions at night. My DD2 did a little bit of reverse cycling when I first went back, and it was really nice. I didn't even mind the sleep disruption. :)

[arivecchi]

I must be an anomaly because I was so excited to go back to work (totally agree with kindra!), but yes, you will adjust and appreciate the "normal" time away from home. I'd get help to make things as easy as possible. Outsource whatever you can - cleaning, laundry, etc! Good luck! Let us know how it goes!

[westwoodmom04]

Have you thought about having a nanny, even for a few days a week, for dd2, maybe just for the few months before she can switch to dd1's daycare (or longer if you find it simplifies your life)? That would eliminate the separate pick up/drop off and the time you spend getting her stuff together for the next day, plus give you someone who can do some laundry, meal prep, etc. . . so your time at home in the evening is less cluttered. They could even pick dd1 up from her school for you, and pack her school bag the day before.

[Philly Mom]

It's hard at first. Definitely feel free to mourn a little bit. Pity party all you want. On the other hand, revel in the adult conversation with Starbucks in hand.

This made me laugh. I am enjoying my last day alone with her. Lots of cuddles, snuggles, and a nice long walk later. Tomorrow she goes to her last day of daycare warm up and Friday we go away for the weekend. Going to the bathroom alone is another thing to look forward to.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Philly Mom]

Have you thought about having a nanny, even for a few days a week, for dd2, maybe just for the few months before she can switch to dd1's daycare (or longer if you find it simplifies your life)? That would eliminate the separate pick up/drop off and the time you spend getting her stuff together for the next day, plus give you someone who can do some laundry, meal prep, etc. . . so your time at home in the evening is less cluttered. They could even pick dd1 up from her school for you, and pack her school bag the day before.

We discussed doing a nanny and DH left it up to me. The cost for a nanny was just so much. I would do it correctly and pay all the taxes etc. I did the math and thought the money could be better spent. DH travels quite a bit so instead of a nanny, I have a teacher who will help me after work when he is gone for an hour or so. I am hopeful once both kids are at the same school, the teacher can drive them home so I can get an early start on everything. We have a weekly cleaner and thankfully live around the corner from the supermarket. We are trying to implement new processes including weekly meal planning. Hopefully that will help. Any other efficiency thoughts would be great.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Momit]

Hugs. I found it very hard to go back, which I was not really expecting.

Can you plan some fun things during your first weeks back - ask a coworker out for coffee, get a manicure at lunch, shop for a new outfit. Just to remind you of the benefits of working (and keep you from wanting to call/stop by daycare to check on the baby every day).

[TxCat]

We discussed doing a nanny and DH left it up to me. The cost for a nanny was just so much. I would do it correctly and pay all the taxes etc. I did the math and thought the money could be better spent. DH travels quite a bit so instead of a nanny, I have a teacher who will help me after work when he is gone for an hour or so. I am hopeful once both kids are at the same school, the teacher can drive them home so I can get an early start on everything. We have a weekly cleaner and thankfully live around the corner from the supermarket. We are trying to implement new processes including weekly meal planning. Hopefully that will help. Any other efficiency thoughts would be great.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

A nanny definitely isn't a money-saver but it can be a sanity-saver, especially if it's just for the short-term until you have both girls at the same school. Help cleaning up the girls' rooms, doing their laundry, making their breakfasts and lunches, etc. my nanny also folds all of our laundry, does basic house tidying up every day, and will help with dinner prep during the day when the baby naps (I leave a pan of whatever veggies I need chopped up, so I can get started on dinner right away). Just some things to think about if you don't love the temporary daycare this week.

[Philly Mom]

Have you thought about having a nanny, even for a few days a week, for dd2, maybe just for the few months before she can switch to dd1's daycare (or longer if you find it simplifies your life)? That would eliminate the separate pick up/drop off and the time you spend getting her stuff together for the next day, plus give you someone who can do some laundry, meal prep, etc. . . so your time at home in the evening is less cluttered. They could even pick dd1 up from her school for you, and pack her school bag the day before.


A nanny definitely isn't a money-saver but it can be a sanity-saver, especially if it's just for the short-term until you have both girls at the same school. Help cleaning up the girls' rooms, doing their laundry, making their breakfasts and lunches, etc. my nanny also folds all of our laundry, does basic house tidying up every day, and will help with dinner prep during the day when the baby naps (I leave a pan of whatever veggies I need chopped up, so I can get started on dinner right away). Just some things to think about if you don't love the temporary daycare this week.

So after 4 days of daycare and each one making me feeling worse about the place, I made DH come with me today. Today was actually a good day as I saw 1 teacher interact with a kid beyond feeding/changing. DH was not impressed. Phew. So one of DD1's teachers has a friend who may be interested in something short term. She is a former teacher at DD1's school. Newly pregnant and looking for part time and/or possibly short term. She is calling the friend for us today. Also another lawyer mentioned a 19 year old she knows who may be interested. The lawyer is in Israel so may be difficult to get in contact with, definitely for the next couple days during Passover. If neither of those work, I may post something on our local Facebook page.

The cost will come close to making working a moot point but it is only 2 months.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[westwoodmom04]

Sorry to hear that you had a rough week with the day care. I think a nanny for a month or two will improve your life and peace of mind. If any of the options you mention don't pan out, you might want to consider contacting a nanny agency. Most have a list of temporary nannies available for shorter term assignment and they already are vetted by the agency. We used this when our first nanny did not work out and I had to fire her, and her replacement couldn't start for a few weeks. We did not have to pay commission, just a membership fee (around $250) that enabled us to use their temp nanny services for a year. We paid the nanny directly based on her hourly rate (which I think was $15 an hour).

[Philly Mom]

I must be an anomaly because I was so excited to go back to work (totally agree with kindra!), but yes, you will adjust and appreciate the "normal" time away from home. I'd get help to make things as easy as possible. Outsource whatever you can - cleaning, laundry, etc! Good luck! Let us know how it goes!

I work in a predominately female environment and I am the only one who was not clamoring to come back after leave.

We outsource quite a bit, cleaning, the lawn, If only I could be Marissa Mayer and afford a chef :). Good thing DH likes to do the cooking.

[Philly Mom]

Sorry to hear that you had a rough week with the day care. I think a nanny for a month or two will improve your life and peace of mind. If any of the options you mention don't pan out, you might want to consider contacting a nanny agency. Most have a list of temporary nannies available for shorter term assignment and they already are vetted by the agency. We used this when our first nanny did not work out and I had to fire her, and her replacement couldn't start for a few weeks. We did not have to pay commission, just a membership fee (around $250) that enabled us to use their temp nanny services for a year. We paid the nanny directly based on her hourly rate (which I think was $15 an hour).

I am going to tuck this away. If my first two options don't work, I think I will lean towards this.

[TwoBees]

Just seeing this now. *hugs* on going back to work. I hope you figure out a childcare options that works for you.

[TxCat]

Good luck with the temp nanny options that you are already researching, and I 100% agree with westwoodmom about going the agency route if your other two options. I know it seems like a fortune right now, but it's for such a short period of time in the scheme of things, and I think you will really appreciate the peace of mind with a different care provider/care situation right now. Going back to work can be so stressful and emotional anyways, it helps sooo much to feel really confident and good about your care provider.

Good luck and keep us posted. :hug: