Can I reset my 3-year-old's eating habits? Tips?

[TxCat]

I feel like this is a big fat parenting fail :bag .

DD1 is 3 1/2 and a relatively picky eater -she's kind of stalled on trying new foods since she was 2 1/2. Occasionally I can get her to try a new food and she'll like it, but then promptly forgets about it and I have to start al over the next time. What I'm most embarrassed about though is that DH and I have become short order cooks at dinner, something we said we'd never do. We have reasons why - adjusting to life with two kids/new baby, really bad work schedules the last 6 months, etc. Still, now that DH's academic year is winding down, I'd love to start trying to improve DD1's diet and to get out of some of the bad habits we've fallen into. I've read some of the information on the Satter website - is there one book that people particularly recommend? Any other tips or advice? Will we eventually be able to wear DD1 down with time and patience?

[LMPC]

IMO, I would look at it as a longer term goal...just to take some of the pressure off and so you don't get frustrated if she's a little more stubborn than you would like ;) At 3 1/2, I would look to get her involved in the preparation of dinner....maybe cutting cherry tomatoes with a plastic knife and putting them in a bowl...or fixing her own taco at dinner time. My DD always seemed more interested when she was involved at some level. Also at 3 1/2 I think she's old enough to understand that she is going to eat what is served...maybe start off with 3 days out of the week still having an alternative (but not one that is cooked...cereal, yogurt, etc) and work towards more nights. Finally, at this age, control is an issue. Would it be possible to let her pick a dinner menu? That way, she gets to pick what *you* eat ;) (Within reason, obviously)

[onyx8]

My 4yo is similar. I generally cook 3 items at dinner. One I know he will eat, one he will probably eat and a veggie (which he has to eat if he wants dessert). I also let him choose dinner once a week (he usually picks pizza or ziti and meatballs). Good luck, it's super frustrating at times!

[hillview]

the sayter book is a good one. I'd do what onyx says, cook a couple of things including something she will eat. I wouldn't tie veggies to dessert (although sometimes I do ... I try hard not to). I wouldn't get into a battle (4 more bites, you have to eat this xyz). I'd take her shopping if that is reasonable and have her pick some veggies. Dipping sauces were a big hit at that age. Good luck!

[onyx8]

Oh, a friend suggested planting some veggies and watching them grow, taking care of them, harvesting and preparing them. Gives the child some ownership and they might be more likely to try them.

[specialp]

Dipping works well for my son. I give a tiny amount of greek yogurt or hummus and he will eat any veggie he hates or try something new. At that age and if she likes dip, I might let her make a dip for dinner. Give a small amount of yogurt w/ dill or oregano and have her mix it up.

[JBaxter]

Jack is horrible. He will try bits but usually GAGS. He eats ZERO pasta. Would look at me like I was a freak if I set ketcup or hummus in front of him. I usually do the 3 dinner items knowing he will eat one AND a peanut butter sandwich w/ a little jelly.
But he eats sushi ... go figure. I also try trickery. He likes chicken tenders we were out to eat and I got him to eat fried catfish :D he argued it was chicken fingers.

[petesgirl]

Another idea--my 2. 5 yr old likes to eat from out-of-the-norm dishes. For example, I have some colorful silicone cupcake liners that I'll sometimes fill with cut up fruits or veggies and set at his place at the table. And he eats breakfast best if I let him use DH's huge cereal bowl. I guess my suggestion would be to get creative with how the food is served.

[Momit]

The Satter book does have some good ideas. I think it's called "Child of Mine..." She obviously does not recommend the short order cook approach - but the compromise is to make sure there is one side dish that you know the child likes (I often add fruit, hummus, a second vegetable). That way the child is choosing from available options and still finding something she will eat.

The biggest idea in Satter, I think, is the division of responsibility in eating for toddlers and beyond - parents are responsible for what, when and where. Kids are responsible for how much and whether.

Also the suggestion to grow a little garden (even just cherry tomatoes, peas, or herbs in a container on your patio) is a great idea. DS is beyond excited that we are getting a plot in our community garden this year and has been helping decide what to grow, starting seedlings etc.

Allowing her to help with preparation, choose her toppings for a mini pizza or whatever is a great idea too.

Hugs. Eating challenges are so tough.

[123LuckyMom]

I cook for DH and me. I make sure to have one thing in the meal that the kids like (or liked the last time. Sometimes DS will one day decide he no longer likes something he's been eating happily until that point). I also give them side portions of fruit at every meal. If DS won't eat the main course (which is usually what he doesn't like), he can have cheese and crackers or nuts, Greek yogurt, or a leftover. He's 5, so he can help himself to these, but even if I had to get them for him, it's not really extra work for me. If I know he really doesn't like something as opposed to just being picky, I might make him a PB&J. He knows that's an extra, though, and he should be extra grateful and say lots of thank yous. I always urge DS to try a bite of everything, but it's up to him what he eats. He does know that he has to eat nutritious food before any sweet thing and that there is no snacking after dinner. He eats a lot of yogurt and fruit!

I would just tell your child that it is important for her to learn to eat lots of different things, and it important to you to cook only one meal, and that that is what you'll be doing from now on. Find a healthy alternative she likes that she can eat if she really doesn't like something and that is easy for you to serve without work (like cheese or yogurt and fruit) and let her have that with what you've prepared if you want, but just stop taking orders or striving to please.

[mommylamb]

We struggle with this too. For us, part of the problem is that DH and I often eat late because by the time we get home from work and cook, it's already at least 7 by the time we eat. The kids just can't wait that long. Yes, I know I could plan ahead and cook on the weekend, but that's just not a reality in our house. So the kids tend to eat first, which means they eat stuff that isn't always ideal. Sandwiches or eggs for dinner is pretty normal for them. I do insist that DS1 has a vegetable every night. He eats a lot of frozen broccoli or carrot sticks. DS2 is only 2, and it's harder to force the veggie issue with him. Often, DS2 will eat a little during his dinner with his brother, and then sit on my lap while DH and I eat and eat off my plate (so at least he is getting some healthier food). DS1 won't eat a lot of typical kid foods like pasta or mac and cheese. DS2 won't eat meat most of the time, but he does eat beans, hummus, peanut butter, so he does get protein. It's a struggle.

[BigBadDaddy]

Food habits can be reset, but it takes some willpower.
When kids get hungry enough they will eat anything.
Try new foods at breakfast/lunch, making the meal 1/3 old favorites and 2/3 new food.
If they won't eat, reintroduce the same meal at lunch/dinner in the same ratios.
It might take a day or so, but they will get hungry enough to eat the new food.
Don't give in to whining/crying, just offer the new food.