Staying with animal to be put down

[flashy09]

I have a 28 yr old horse that needs to get put down this week. I have had him for 22 yrs. He is the last animal from my childhood and we travelled all over the US showing in our youth. So it's a super sad situation to say the least. I cannot imagine watching him fall down and die, however he is very attached to me and would appreciate me being there. He hates vets and needles and without me he will need to be twitched and somewhat manhandled. Not that I am a horse whisperer, but I know the horse so well and can keep him pretty calm and distracted so it would be a nicer final few minutes.

But I can't imagine being there. I really don't want to see him die - horse euthanasia is not like a dog. He is 1200 lbs and will be standing up. I don't want that memory at all and will be a complete wreck.

What do I do? Has anyone not been there with a pet and do you feel guilty? Or been there and wish you hadn't? I feel like I need to a grown up and stay with him and I really don't want to. How bad is that and will I regret it.

[Momit]

Hugs. That sounds awful.

I was with our dog when he was euthanized several years ago, and as hard as it was, I don't regret it for a second. I didn't think he deserved to die without anyone who loved him by his side to give him comfort.

My friend's older horse developed colic and died while she was out of town. I had to be the one to track her down and tell her the horse was gone. She would have given anything to be there for her mare.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I will be thinking about you both.

[kdeunc]

I am so sorry. My instinct is to say stay but I have never seen a horse euthanized. I have been there for my cats and dogs. Your post makes my heart hurt. :(. Hugs.

[Pennylane]

I am so sorry. My instinct is to say stay but I have never seen a horse euthanized. I have been there for my cats and dogs. Your post makes my heart hurt. :(. Hugs.

This exactly. Sounds heartbreaking. I think I would regret not being there though.

Ann

[malphy]

My brother just had to put his horse down. He could not imagine being the last thing his baby saw before she passed. I do not have a horse but have always been with my pets at that time. I agree with my brother. It is not easy but it is the right thing to do, for us. You do what you can handle. Hugs

[TwinFoxes]

I am so sorry. My instinct is to say stay but I have never seen a horse euthanized.

:yeahthat: I was with my dog when he was euthanized. It was hard, but I was cuddling him and I know he felt loved, not scared at all.

[mackmama]

First of all, I am so sorry. :( These things are so so hard no matter what you end up doing. I was with my soulmate dog when he passed, and I am forever grateful. It was excruciatingly painful, and yet he was with me through everything, and I wanted to be there for him. I had to be. I am haunted by seeing my grandma's open casket but, for some reason, the memory of watching my sweet doggie pass does not haunt me. It's painful to remember, but it was also beautiful. I cherish being able to have been there with and for him and wouldn't have done it any other way. I was away at college when my cat was put to sleep. I still deeply regret not being there. I should have been there.

[khm]

I have a 28 yr old horse that needs to get put down this week. I have had him for 22 yrs. He is the last animal from my childhood and we travelled all over the US showing in our youth. So it's a super sad situation to say the least. I cannot imagine watching him fall down and die, however he is very attached to me and would appreciate me being there. He hates vets and needles and without me he will need to be twitched and somewhat manhandled. Not that I am a horse whisperer, but I know the horse so well and can keep him pretty calm and distracted so it would be a nicer final few minutes.

But I can't imagine being there. I really don't want to see him die - horse euthanasia is not like a dog. He is 1200 lbs and will be standing up. I don't want that memory at all and will be a complete wreck.

What do I do? Has anyone not been there with a pet and do you feel guilty? Or been there and wish you hadn't? I feel like I need to a grown up and stay with him and I really don't want to. How bad is that and will I regret it.

Oddly, I was just discussing this today. My manager and I were discussing how hard it was emotionally to put dogs down, but how peaceful it is for the dog, generally. She is a horse person and said how wrenching and awful it is to put a horse down. It does indeed sound like it would be brutal to witness, but if you think you can provide comfort to the animal, I think I would have to be there.

[twowhat?]

I think I would regret not being there. Is there anything at all that would make it easier? Is there a way to sedate so that you could lay the horse down and then euthanize? I'm sorry you're going through this:(

[ArizonaGirl]

I can't speak for being there for a horse, but as hard as it was to be there for my childhood dog, I couldn't let her go without me in a scary place all alone.

:hug:, letting an animal go is truly one of the hardest things I have ever done.

[BunnyBee]

A horse sounds much different from being there with a dog or cat. I've been with my dogs as they were put to sleep. Could you be there for part of it with your horse? Help with the initial stage, calm him, then leave before the end stages? What a tough decision to make. I'm so sorry. :hug:

[KLD313]

A horse sounds much different from being there with a dog or cat. I've been with my dogs as they were put to sleep. Could you be there for part of it with your horse? Help with the initial stage, calm him, then leave before the end stages? What a tough decision to make. I'm so sorry. :hug:

Yes, this. I was with my dog, the vet came to my house but I watched when they wrapped his body when they told me it could be upsetting and I wish I didn't see it. I'm over it now though it did bother me for awhile. I think if whatever happens is going to upset you where it's going to
stick with you I wouldn't watch it all. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

[AshleyAnn]

I wohld

[123LuckyMom]

I've been at a horse's end and at a cat's. There is no comparison. Watching a horse be put down is very, very hard. It does not feel peaceful as it does with a dog or cat, and it can be dangerous, too. OP, I'm so sorry you are in this situation. I would talk to the vet about your concerns. Maybe there is an oral medication that you can feed your horse, perhaps before he even sees the vet, so that he will be calm and a little out of it when the vet comes in. If you can do that, I would, say your goodbyes, and then leave. If, though, you can be aware and convinced that once the injection happens your horse is really gone despite all the physical movement, you will be able to stay to help calm him. I think you will want to help your horse's last moments be as peaceful as you can. Do not watch them take your horse away, though. Leave as soon as your horse no longer needs you.

[blisstwins]

I have no advice, but I am so sorry you have to go through this. I can only imagine.

[OKKiddo]

Won't they give the horse a tranquilizer first to help him feel sleepy and lie down? Or give it to you ahead of time so that you can give it to him before they arrive so he's already lying down? Or is there some way that you can have him lie down before so that you're cradling his head and snuggling? I can completely understand why you don't want him collapsing to be one of your final moments with him, that would be difficult to manage. But, in his final moments he'll have you there and not some strangers and will be less afraid. The thing to focus on, I think, is how much you love him and how much you've been through together--doing that will help you put in perspective his final moments (hopefully peaceful) on this earth with you.

I'm really sorry you have to go through this. Sending positive thoughts and prayers. <3

[vejemom]

Hugs. I couldn't read this and not respond. Don't feel guilty about it. Everyone is different. I've had to have a couple horses put down over the years, and I have been there for it. It is rather dramatic. The vet told me that it is always the worst with horses that have suffered from laminitis or other leg/foot problems. They've struggled for so long to stay ON their feet that it's natural for them to fight going down from the pre-euthanasia. As gory as this sounds to non-horse people, is there a hunt nearby that takes healthy old horses to be used for dog meat? I'm in Virginia hunt country, and it's very common here. They don't let you attend, but it is an instantaneous process. Maybe that would take some of the uncertainty out of the process for you? I really wanted to do this for my old Thoroughbred because he'd spent his happiest years as a staff horse for the Loudoun hunt. (Dang, I'm getting teary-eyed typing that.) But they couldn't take him for awhile and his DSLD meant he needed to cross Rainbow Bridge right away.

I used to work for a vet and held many people's pets for them in the euthanasia room when they could not. Could someone you know be there in your place? My Thoroughbred was at my friend's barn when he was put down. My friend is a pretty well-known 3 Day Eventer. He can't stand to be present for the process, even though he's great in the most horrific horse health emergencies. He took off for a far field under the pretext of checking an automatic waterer while the vet and I attended to my old boy.

Feel free to PM me. I could share more detail to help you decide what you want to do. I hate to do it on the public board because it's such a sensitive topic.

[StantonHyde]

I wouldn't because putting down a horse is brutal. For other posters, a tranquilizer does not make a horse lay down. They just wobble on their feet. Just say your goodbyes. I would ask about something you could give him before the vet comes. Just to calm him down a bit so he doesn't have to be twitched. Big hugs. There is nothing peaceful about putting down a hose.

[MelissaTC]

I'm so sorry for you and your horse.

I was there when one of my dogs was put down. She had a stroke, was a complete mess and it was the most humane thing to do. I don't regret it for one second, as we spent 14 years together and she was a very loyal and protective companion. She was sedated and calm, and we huddled around her as a family to wish her goodbye as she left this world. For days, I could remember the way her fur felt as I rubbed her and then that feeling went away, and I felt so awful all over again, but worth it to be there. My other dog died on the way to the vet so I never got to hold her or love on her and I wish I had a few more minutes with her. I loved her so much and it still brings me to tears thinking of her.

It sounds like a horse is so different and I imagine it would be horrible. Although it is always horrible to lose our pet companions. Do what feels right in your heart. He knows you cared for him. Hugs.

[mama2g03]

I have no advice but wanted to give you big hugs. Be gentle on yourself whatever you decide, either choice is a hard one, but neither one is wrong. As a previous poster said, your horse knows he is loved. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Philly Mom]

I have no advice but wanted to give you big hugs. Be gentle on yourself whatever you decide, either choice is a hard one, but neither one is wrong. As a previous poster said, your horse knows he is loved. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I agree with this. Lots of :HUGS:

[Mopey]

I'm so sorry. Many hugs to you. For me, when I found out my mom was alone to put down our dog when I was little I was heartbroken for her. I also made a promise to myself to be with "my" cat (I picked her out at the ASPCA) one day and I was. It was awful because I didn't know I would be leaving the vet empty-handed but I was so happy to be the last face she saw and to hold her. I can't tell you what to do as it is such a different physical experience with such a larger animal - is there any way you could get him to lie down first? I'm sorry if that's not helpful, just a thought. Just sending you a lot of sympathy and hugs. Whatever you choose is okay imho :hug:

[OKKiddo]

I wouldn't because putting down a horse is brutal. For other posters, a tranquilizer does not make a horse lay down. They just wobble on their feet. Just say your goodbyes. I would ask about something you could give him before the vet comes. Just to calm him down a bit so he doesn't have to be twitched. Big hugs. There is nothing peaceful about putting down a hose.

That's so sad. I didn't realize the full extent of how hard they fight to stay up. :(

[StantonHyde]

That's so sad. I didn't realize the full extent of how hard they fight to stay up. :(

I know. Even the vets don't recommend that people stay with their horses--sad.

[kellij]

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry, this is heart breaking.

[Tondi G]

I have been present when a couple of horses were euthanized. None of them were mine but I have witnessed it done. It is not pleasant and I can understand your apprehension but I really think you should be there. I would hate for his last moments to be spent twitched and without a source of calm and comfort that you can provide by being there. It will be sad. It won't be easy to watch him go down but you will know that his last moments and thoughts will be of you... his person.

HUGE, HUGE HUGS headed your way. I hope it goes smoothly and isn't as traumatic as you are expecting.

[twowhat?]

It's heartbreaking to read about how difficult it is to witness a horse being put down. Obviously I have no BTDT but I thought of something that might help you if you choose to not be present for the euthanasia.

I wasn't able to be present for our dog when we had to put him down (I was out of town) and it seriously tore me apart - however, as soon as I got home, I went to see the body (the vet kept it for us, arranged him so that he looked comfy, had him all wrapped in a blanket) and it helped - IMMENSELY. Even knowing that he was dead, there was a definite sense of closure and getting to say a peaceful goodbye. Seeing his face so relaxed and not in pain. I sat with him for a long time just running my fingers through his fur. It made a big impact. So doing as much as you can to calm your hourse just prior to the event and then sitting with the body for a (long) while after the event might be a good compromise. HUGS!

[HannaAddict]

I'm so sorry. I would be there for him and ask for sedative for before vet is there. And maybe even ask your doctor for a small
Something for you to take anxiety away. I am so sorry. You are a good horse mom.

[123LuckyMom]

It's heartbreaking to read about how difficult it is to witness a horse being put down. Obviously I have no BTDT but I thought of something that might help you if you choose to not be present for the euthanasia.

I wasn't able to be present for our dog when we had to put him down (I was out of town) and it seriously tore me apart - however, as soon as I got home, I went to see the body (the vet kept it for us, arranged him so that he looked comfy, had him all wrapped in a blanket) and it helped - IMMENSELY. Even knowing that he was dead, there was a definite sense of closure and getting to say a peaceful goodbye. Seeing his face so relaxed and not in pain. I sat with him for a long time just running my fingers through his fur. It made a big impact. So doing as much as you can to calm your hourse just prior to the event and then sitting with the body for a (long) while after the event might be a good compromise. HUGS!

I'm so sorry you weren't able to be present and glad you had the time you needed to say goodbye.

It is VERY different with a horse. You have about two hours total to move the horse and bury it. You don't want to see that process. A backhoe is necessary. This is not an animal people can lift. You need machinery. OP, I'm sure you will make whatever provisions you need to make before the sad event. I would not watch that part, though. I found it so very, very disturbing. Please know that I'll be thinking of you and your horse. I hope you can make peace with your decision, whatever you choose. The most important thing is that your horse has had a long life filled with love. He loves and trusts you, too, and whatever decision you make, and however his last moments go, that love will always survive and be more important than whatever might happen in those last few minutes.

[California]

Personally I would want to be there to make it a more peaceful transition for the horse, if I felt like I could stay calm and supportive. Do you do any sort of meditation, breathing exercises, prayer or physical activity that helps you stay calm and focused, that you could do before seeing your horse?

[hillview]

I think if you can find a way to be ok with going then go. But I think given what it sounds like if you cannot find a way to be ok with it that it is totally reasonable to not go. My dog died on my lap when I had to put him down (vet came to my house) and it was a really hard situation and he went very peacefully. I cannot imagine how hard it would be if it was like it sounds like for your horse. I think you have to do what is the best possible situation for everyone knowing that none of the options are close to good. So sorry. Hugs

[daisysmom]

Could you go but try to make sure you put something in place not to watch it? Meaning, could you trust yourself to squeeze your eyes shut and not open them. Could you wear glasses that are blacked out so you could not watch? I am just trying to think of some way that the horse sees that you are there and is comforted by you but you don't have to watch it. I was with our dog when she died (she died a few hours before she would have been put to sleep). It was not "peaceful" for her to die naturally either (tho she was smaller, so was already on the ground). I still know that having my DH with her (and maybe me too, but she REALLY loved him) was important. Prayers go out to you though. We had a neighbor's 6 month old lab puppy get run over in our neighborhood this weekend and my heart just broke (she is ok - we think- fractured pelvis and some other issues). Animals are God's blessing to us (IMO) and I wish they didn't die. Take comfort to know that the horse loved you dearly and would have been sad to see you die too.

[trcy]

I am so sorry. I think this is a situation where you have to go with your gut; there is no wrong decision. My dog past away unexpectedly while I was not home, so didn't have to make that choice. I think I would have chosen to be with her. Obviously a horse euthanasia is much different from a dog. :hug:

[lmh2402]

I've been unable to read this thread until now because I had a feeling it would make me very sad. and I was right.

I'm so sorry, OP. If it were me, I think I would have to be there. I could not imagine my animal going into such a situation knowing that he would be terrified and "slightly manhandled," and knowing that I could help him calm down.

Hugs. So, so hard. I'm sorry.

[mackmama]

No matter how hard it was for me, I would be there... for him. Huge hugs to you.

[flashy09]

Thank you all so much for all the kind and understanding replies. I really appreciate it and there have been so many helpful suggestions - I have taken away something from literally every post. I just don't know what I am going to do yet. Right now is this awful limbo period of knowing I need to euthanize him within the next few days, but also wanting to put it off as long as possible. It makes the days awful and I am just as sad with him alive as I will be when he is gone. So you would think I would just do this immediately as I couldn't feel worse and he certainly would be better off, but I still can't fathom him not being alive and haven't been able to schedule anything.

My life revolved around this horse as a teenager and most of my biggest memories and emotions are from our showing times - childbirth is really the only thing that matches the intensity of fear/elation/sense of accomplishment of some of my show memories. I feel so guilty about being distant the last two years with the pregnancies and babies. I knew he was old and wish I had taken more time to be with him. Now I all I want to do is be with him and he has no time left.

Anyway, thanks again for all the wonderful advice and comforting words.

[Nooknookmom]

I HAVE to stay with my animals when they are put down. I have to feel their last breath. I carry them in-not applicable here...but it just kills me.

I can't even read any more of this thread bc I lost two German shepherds In the last four years and I will burst into tears if I do. I Just wanted to say how SORRY I am about your horse. I have a good friend who lost her horse a few years back and he was 30. It was like losing a child And she is still in a depression.

I know how you feel and what you are going through is awful. Time heals - but u never ever forge them.

[khm]

Thank you all so much for all the kind and understanding replies. I really appreciate it and there have been so many helpful suggestions - I have taken away something from literally every post. I just don't know what I am going to do yet. Right now is this awful limbo period of knowing I need to euthanize him within the next few days, but also wanting to put it off as long as possible. It makes the days awful and I am just as sad with him alive as I will be when he is gone. So you would think I would just do this immediately as I couldn't feel worse and he certainly would be better off, but I still can't fathom him not being alive and haven't been able to schedule anything.

My life revolved around this horse as a teenager and most of my biggest memories and emotions are from our showing times - childbirth is really the only thing that matches the intensity of fear/elation/sense of accomplishment of some of my show memories. I feel so guilty about being distant the last two years with the pregnancies and babies. I knew he was old and wish I had taken more time to be with him. Now I all I want to do is be with him and he has no time left.

Anyway, thanks again for all the wonderful advice and comforting words.

I'm so sorry for what you are going through.

Really, there is no wrong answer. I know I said I'd try and go if I thought it'd be a comfort to the horse.... but honestly, thinking about how my manager described how to goes with horses.... I do not really know that I could. It just sounds like it would be wrenchingly hard, and well, not peaceful. I don't know that I'd want to have that imprinted on my mind. I might just spend time with him and then leave it to the experts that I trust.

[Nooknookmom]

Thank you all so much for all the kind and understanding replies. I really appreciate it and there have been so many helpful suggestions - I have taken away something from literally every post. I just don't know what I am going to do yet. Right now is this awful limbo period of knowing I need to euthanize him within the next few days, but also wanting to put it off as long as possible. It makes the days awful and I am just as sad with him alive as I will be when he is gone. So you would think I would just do this immediately as I couldn't feel worse and he certainly would be better off, but I still can't fathom him not being alive and haven't been able to schedule anything.

My life revolved around this horse as a teenager and most of my biggest memories and emotions are from our showing times - childbirth is really the only thing that matches the intensity of fear/elation/sense of accomplishment of some of my show memories. I feel so guilty about being distant the last two years with the pregnancies and babies. I knew he was old and wish I had taken more time to be with him. Now I all I want to do is be with him and he has no time left.

Anyway, thanks again for all the wonderful advice and comforting words.

I dunno if anyone suggested this bc I didn't read but can u take hoof prints beforehand? Paint his hoofs and stamp them on a rigid canvas board? And save some of his mane. Ok now I'm crying...dang

[Indianamom2]

I am a bit late to this but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I can't imagine how hard that would be. I just had to put my 13 year old cat to sleep this winter and it hard enough, even though her passing was amazingly fast and peaceful.

I think whatever you decide, it will be ok. Your horse knows you loved her because you spent the last 20+ years showing her. :hug:

[Ceepa]

I am so sorry, it is very difficult to say goodbye to a pet and friend. How wonderful that you had so many years with him.

I'll keep you and your dear horse in my prayers. :hug:

[Cuckoomamma]

As everyone else has said, you need to do what is right for you. I had to euthanize my closest cat buddy when my older dd was one. Like you, I had grown distant in our relationship in the few years leading up to that kitty's death and felt horrible guilt. She was the first animal that I euthanized as an adult, and I didn't do a great job of being there for her because I was so emotional. The vet talked me through it telling me to pet her NOW :-) I felt guilt over that for awhile until I was with another one of our kitties who died here at home. I realized that there wasn't any right way to die. I didn't have to be perfect in what I did while I was there. I really believe that just being there and knowing how much I loved them made their deaths easier.

If your horse's death will be too difficult for you, then you just can't be there. But if you can, don't worry about how you handle it. I think your presence even if it's just for when the vet arrives, will make a difference for your horse. Ultimately, he knows in his heart how much you love him. How lucky you both have been.

[Pear]

I stayed with our cat. I don't regret it at all. Yes it was hard and I will never forget those images, but it helped to know that I was there for her.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I am so sorry.

[vejemom]

No matter what you do, don't feel guilty for a minute. Horse euthanasia is so different from dog/cat euthanasia that it isn't even funny. Even if you're one who is okay with being with a small animal, you just might not be for a horse. Without getting too graphic, it is a large prey animal whose survival depends on staying on it's feet. They don't lie down on command, and most sedatives commonly used sedate them standing. The vet administers the injection, and then they step back as far as they can. It is a violent, abrupt trip to the ground. They can kill you if they fall on you or accidentally kick you on the way down. Plus there are the less-than-dignified realities of dealing with after-care that you just don't get with house pets. You can have horses cremated, but it costs close to $2000 in my area. It's also illegal to bury a horse around here, so you have to have it hauled off by a protein rendering outfit. They require that the horse be dropped within a certain distance of a gravel area. The horse trainer friend that I mentioned up thread once had to find a way to limp a horse that had had it's shoulder shattered by getting kicked by another horse in closer to the barn so that the body could be retrieved by the rendering company's equipment.

Flashy, is it a possibility for you to Ace him before the vet arrives? Then they could take him out, administer the injections, and then you could join them after he's made it safely to the ground? It takes several minutes after that, but the traumatic part is done. Each time, I've had several sweet, peaceful minutes patting heads and talking to my guys about their plans over Rainbow Bridge after they're on the ground. My lovely vet gets down on the ground and does the same for every horse.

[HonoluluMom]

I just want to say I'm so sorry. You love him very much and it sounds like you've been through great times and perhaps not so good times (as with any close relationship), and I'm sure your horse knows that you love him no matter what. I think in the end because you are so close to him, you will make the decision that is best for both of you.

[MamaInMarch]

I had no idea euthanizing a horse was so difficult. I am so very sorry you are forced with such a difficult decision. I also want to say I don't think there is a wrong way to handle it. You have to do what is right for you and your buddy. I know I will be facing this decision myself in the future with my 15 yr old chihuahua and it is tough enough without the added complications. I'm so sorry.

[123LuckyMom]

Acepromazine might work well to alleviate anxiety, and you could administer it! I definitely would ask your vet about ace or some other tranquilizer prior to the barbiturate injection.

If you do want to stay with your horse, be aware that what you see when your horse goes down (and it's not pretty) is exactly what you would see if your horse was going to have necessary surgery. The dose of barbiturate would be smaller, of course, but your horse would look and behave exactly the same. It might help you to know that. The movement and breath sounds once your horse is down is different, but the losing of consciousness and the falling may appear less disturbing to you if you realize it is just how horses respond to anesthesia, just like for surgery.