Would you/have you moved to get into a good elementary?

[twotimesblue]

I love the area we live in. It's a smallish city within a big city, and there is so much going on. We're near the beach and have every amenity we could dream of within walking distance. It's also calm and peaceful and lovely for neighborhood walks etc, however our local schools would not be a great fit for DS1. They are all big - 900+ kids - and I know that he would find a place that size overwhelming. The teachers at his preschool agree... unfortunately we can't afford private, so we have to think of a plan B.

There is a town 15/20 minutes drive away which has an excellent charter elementary, 950+ API score, and it's almost half the size of our local school. I think DS1 would flourish there. The only way to guarantee entry would be to move to this village, however. It's pretty and safe, with a cute town center and LOTS of families with young kids. I worry that it's a bit too white and suburban for our family, though, and also the fact that it's that much further away from the 'action'. I know that this place would be many people's idea of heaven, and maybe I would get used to it, but it feels like a big lifestyle shift.

Another downside is the fact that I would probably have to find a new preschool for DS2 if we moved... he will start preschool the same year that DS1 starts K, and I really want to avoid spending all my day in the car playing chauffeur. I would ideally want their schools to be close to each other.

Has anyone done this? Moved to get into a better/more desirable school, even if you weren't 100% sold on the area you were moving to? Is it crazy to even consider?

[Green_Tea]

I have not, but would IF the schools in my district were poor. I would not move for marginally better schools, and am not easily influenced by test scores as they are often (not always, of course) the result of teaching to the test - at the expense of other experiences that are more valuable.

[SnuggleBuggles]

We were going to do private school but got into a charter instead. Moving didn't come up as a solution.

If I were you, I don't think I would make any plans re. moving since the main concern you cite is school size. When ds1 was little, I was sure that we wanted a small school for him. We researched, his preschool teachers agreed and we were all set. Then this charter school came up and we decided to just try it. He has thrived! I never would have expected it. I think it's one of those times that you have to try before knowing for sure. Just a thought!

[larig]

I have not, but would IF the schools in my district were poor. I would not move for marginally better schools, and am not easily influenced by test scores as they are often (not always, of course) the result of teaching to the test - at the expense of other experiences that are more valuable.

exactly this. I'd also want to make sure that the charter was a sure thing, if that's your motivation for moving.

[Tenasparkl]

We moved for a school, but also because we were ready to buy and needed another bedroom, a yard and more storage. It wasn't the only factor, but it was absolutely something that I took seriously as we house hunted.

[hbridge]

Definitely do your research before considering moving. We are interested in a charter school for DC. If there are mores applications than spots, admission is 100% based on a lottery for the "member" towns. The lottery (literally pulling numbers from a hat) put DC so far down the wait list they told us DC will get in, eventually, but probably not for four or five years. If you are GUARANTEED a spot in the class, it MAY be worth looking into a move, but definitely find out what happens if they have more interested students than they can accommodate.

Another option may be school choice, if it available in your area. You may be able to find a school that would be a better fit.

We were very concerned about DC in a larger school (700 kids) and haven't had too many issues. The class sized are reasonable and there are many resources available to the kids.

[OKKiddo]

Just throwing this out there... you could homeschool. ;) When we moved to NOVA we picked a neighborhood that we were told was very family/neighbor oriented and a great school for our kids (not to mention a close commute for DH). Then when we had the mold issues, we had exactly 10 days to find a new place before school started. The local area had nothing but very small townhouses and none that would go to the same school we had planned. So we moved one county over to a neighborhood that had lots of walking trails, playgrounds, ponds, and a highly rated school (on greatschools). However, we were very let down with the school and neighborhood. And then we were locked into a 2 year lease. Private school wasn't an option for us because of the high cost in the area. I'm sure we could have tried out a different school given that our DS's have IEP's but I felt homeschooling was the least disruptive option that would meet both of their needs and help them develop in their strengths better. With all of the homeschooling groups, co ops, and museums, etc in the area we have really thrived. Now we're coming up on another move and trying to make the decision to either buy or rent (or live on base).

[mom2binsd]

Besides the large size, how is the school? Is it something you could try for a year or two, honestly, even if he doesn't love K or 1st, it's not the end of the world and if after trying it you decide to move at least you didn't "jump the gun".

Are there safety concerns, how is the school community?

A school of 450 is still pretty big, if you were thinking of a small school like 200 I'd say if that's what you want then move...Our k-5 school is about 450 but each grade is it's own community and we know A LOT of the families. Is 900 students for just elementary, how do they do school activities, all together? I'd try it out honestly and see how it goes as it seems like you really like where you are.

I worked in many different public schools and what I've learned is that what is more important is what goes on at home, how involved each parent is in their child's education. I've seen kids attend terrible, inner city schools with no PTA, little parent volunteers, terrible classrooms, no playground really and the kids still learned and did very well, based on what was happening at home.

[scrooks]

We are debating the same thing in our house. Our district is excellent but the district my sil lives in is outstanding. Her town is about 30 minutes away, very wealthy and very white. Our district is a little more diverse. She thinks we are crazy not to move and I find that irritating BUT I do want to make sure my dc get the best education possible. Right now we are not moving. Dd had a great k year and loves her school. Moving may be an option in the future. I stress about it a lot. I dont know what the right answer is. If you seriously consider moving, make sure your dc would end up in that school for sure.

[basil]

I probably wouldn't move in your situation. I would, of course, strongly consider school quality if I were moving to start with, but not in exclusion of other factors.

I don't think school rankings are all that, anyway. I went to a poorly ranked HS and still went to an ivy league college and grad school, so I think education is really individual and it's very hard to know what a good fit is until you try it. It sounds like a big move to make since you really love where you live now. If, in a few years, DS isn't doing well, then you can move. By then your second DS will be done with preschool so that won't be a complicating factor.

[Simon]

Yes, to a point. In fact I was searching for homes online today in a few different communities that I really don't want to live in, but which could be a good optoin for schools. We love where we live, but we will move before high school or else open enroll/pay for private/whatever we have to in order to avoid the HS we are currently zoned for. We're not sure about middle school but for us the current HS is an absolute deal breaker and we'll be moving. Dh is pro moving, I'd consider open enrollment and other options. We can't really afford to live in the other HS zones in our city, the homes are $150k+ over our budget, so we'll probably have to leave this town.

Personally, I'd probably give K a try in your current district if you like the city a lot better. For elementary, I'd also consider homeschooling and ditto all the pp about making sure you understand the enrollment policies. For us, Ds1 is in a special and desirable program. Ds2 will get priority enrollment but no guarantee. If he doesn't get in the first OR second year, then we'll for sure be moving out of our current district.

[KLD313]

I would and I may but now I'm leaning toward homeschooling. I don't care for our school district but I love my house. I'm torn and after researching homeschooling I feel good about it and it's taking the pressure off to try to move in the next year before K.

[ahisma]

Yes, we did. We love our house and out neighborhood, but we could only afford what I suspect is the lowest cost house in the city. It's fine, we've been here for 10 years now and we're not unhappy.

BUT...our state has cut school funding so much that our district is struggling, in a big way. We lost classroom aides, school librarians, and tons of support staff. Art, music and foreign language are now privately funded...but I suspect won't be funded this coming year. It stinks, and makes me really sad for our kids.

[twotimesblue]

I work from home so unfortunately homeschooling is out. I love the idea of it in principle!

The charter I mentioned is location-based admittance (10% of students get in via a lottery, the rest are zoned from the neighborhood). If we moved we would almost certainly get in.

It is an outstanding school, not just based on its API... beautiful campus in the center of the 'village', student 'allotments' within the grounds (DS loves gardening), very involved parent community, smaller than average class sizes (for the area) due to fundraising that pays for additional staff. It's just a lovely environment.

Our local school is still considered 'good', if you go by the API alone. We toured it and I can see it being a good fit for a confident kid (or, as a parent with a kid at the school told me, one who has a 'good internal compass'). The buildings are ugly and labyrinthine, and the class sizes in the upper elementary grades are huge. There are issues with discipline and while I love the diversity, a friend pulled her son out of the school as she said there were several very unruly boys in his year. My city's (large) homeless shelter is within the boundaries of this school, and as a result the teachers face additional challenges. A shy, introverted child like my DS is the one that could easily 'fall through the cracks' and I am determined to stop that happening. When we walked past the neighborhood school this afternoon he said: 'mama, I NEVER want to go to this big, scary school!'

My DH wants to move. We are in a condo at the moment and he wants a house. Property is crazy expensive in both my current location and the village we're considering... the village is maybe 10% more 'affordable'. We would have to buy something tiny and save up to possibly extend years down the line.
DH had a horrible experience at school (he was also shy and was bullied, moved school several times so never settled etc) so he's as anxious as I am to get the experience right for DS. He doesn't want history to repeat itself.

If there was any way we could afford private that is 100% the way I would go, and I am a very proud product of an all-public education. I had a minimum of 35 kids in my class, and was the youngest in my year, and it never bothered me a jot - I was a straight-A student. I was/am very much more confident than DS, though, and DH's experience was obviously very different.

It's so hard to know what to do...

[YouAreTheFocus]

Yes, we are planning to move solely for schools. We will need to enroll DS in K around the start of the year, it ranges between Jan-Mar depending on district. There's not a lot of real estate action October thru Feb, so we basically need to find something between now and September. And just to make things more interesting, I'm having a baby in August :dizzy:

We are considering 2 nearby towns, one is about 3 blocks away, the other is about 20 minutes. I'm fine with either, but slightly favor the closer one since we'd basically be in the same neighborhood as we are now. We sold the condo we were in and are renting for the interim, in preparation for the purchase.

If DS had remained an only, we would have considered other options (like staying where we were and doing a combo of public elem & private ms/hs), but with 2 we need to be able to do public for K-12.

We are also in an insanely expensive area. We will basically be going "all in" to make this home purchase happen, and will most likely end up in a 2-3 br 1200 sq ft cottage.

[Karenn]

Before you move, I would make very certain that the school you're looking at is in fact as wonderful as its reputation. We moved for better schools and I regret it. The schools, while perhaps better, were not good enough and now we've got a more expensive, dated house and we're paying for private school. (I didn't think we could afford private school either, but when public school turns out to be a disaster, you do what you gotta do...) Everyone raved about the school we were going to. Many of our friends are still thrilled with the school we moved for. We were not, and it turned out to be a big expensive mistake. I think if I'd done my homework and looked at things a little more closely, I might have been able to figure that out ahead of time. I'm not sure though. I so badly wanted it to be the right school that I think I was probably a little blind to the clues that it might not be a good fit. Good luck. It's a tough decision, and of course I've got the benefit of that 20/20 hindsight...

[speo]

My thoughts: What about MS and HS? Are those schools good also? I wouldn't want to move just for a good elementary school. For me, all of the schools would need to be good. I also don't really think there is a big difference between a school with a 900 vs. 950 api. Have you really checked all of the potential schools in the region you are willing to commute? Why this particular school? I think I know where you live and I am not sure I would leave. I would like to live there. :) There would have to be many other reasons for me to leave. The size of the school would not be a major factor for moving unless I really tried it out. I don't think things need to be "set" for the early grades. K-2? I think it wouldn't be very disruptive to move if you didn't like it after giving it a try. I live in an area with good schools, but we didn't necessarily pick it just for that.

[lmh2402]

yes, we moved for schools. but also for space.

and yes, we moved without being sold on the area.

and 3.5 years later, we're still not sold on the area.

but it was the right move for us to make - we needed more space and could not afford it in previous location. and we also felt pretty strongly that staying where we were, we would have probably been ok through elementary, but would have had to move to private school for middle and high school.

i don't necessarily regret the decision. i think i just still resent that i had to make it.


ETA: I should add that i'm not even sure if we ultimately made the "right" move re: schools. our current school district is pretty well regarded - it tests well. and as a mom of an 18 month old, i was pleased by that. but now, as a mom of a five year old, I realize that many of the things i didn't really consider - like school pressure - will be a factor for us b/c of DS' personality.

[daisysmom]

We moved to be closer to the private school our dd was attending. We lived in a brownstone in a very urban setting - dh and I loved it and frankly it was great until dd was about 4 or so. Very few children snd lousy public schools tho- all our friends left for the burbs once their kids were school age. We lived very close to an inner city university so our are was wonderfully diverse with lots of great restaurants and museums and we loved our house. Renovated it top to bottom snd it was awesome.
We commuted to dd's school for kindergarten - 25 minutes each way and then additional time to get to the office. We lasted a year and out the house in the market, it sold immediately and we now live a mile from dd's school.

I was afraid dh woukd resent it - he did a little as did I hinestlym but it was the right choice and I think we both are happier here than we thought we would be. We still miss our old house snd neighborhood but we knew that our dd couldn't stand yesrs ofnthst commute when her whole life, sports etc revolve around her school. One of the many sacrifices we make for children is the way I look at it.

[KpbS]

Are all of your private options too expensive? Any affordable Catholic schools? I would probably go private given your description of your DS's personality, your concerns, and your DH's bad experiences in school. Our tiny private school is a fantastic environment largely in part because of its size. The kids get lots of individual attention, all of the teachers and administration know my kids, and it is a very nurturing environment.

[JustMe]

You've gotten great advice so far, and I just want to echo the pp who said to make sure to look in the MS and HS in the new place and see what you think. It is hard to do research when you are so far away from that and, of course, things may change by the time your dc get to that level. However, my answer would be that I would move for an elem. school that was a much better fit for my dc IF I felt the MS and HS were also good.

I am currently in the process of selling/buying to move to a MS that is way better for my dd. It is in the same district as the HS I want her to go to as well.

[minnie-zb]

We did move about that time, but it was not because of school. Based on what I know now about school (my youngest is in 3rd grade), I would not move just because of a school. Your son is young enough to give it a try and see how it goes. Any child his age is going to be intimidated by the size of a school -- even a school with 450 students. I would give it a chance and see how it goes. I think the quality of life is extremely important and it sounds like you live in a really great community. No school is perfect. I would also look at the whole picture vs. just elementary school. It is hard for you to believe now, but elementary school goes by in the blink of the eye. There are so many factors which go into making a good experience at school -- it is not just the size. Teachers, sense of community, the other families at the school, etc.

[Jacksmommy2b]

We did move from a terrible district into an excellent one and specifically for that reason.

In your situation I would seriously consider sending him to the school you have now and seeing how it goes. Your home now seems like such a great place for you that I would exhaust your options before moving.


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[egoldber]

We did move about that time, but it was not because of school. Based on what I know now about school (my youngest is in 3rd grade), I would not move just because of a school. Your son is young enough to give it a try and see how it goes. Any child his age is going to be intimidated by the size of a school -- even a school with 450 students. I would give it a chance and see how it goes. I think the quality of life is extremely important and it sounds like you live in a really great community. No school is perfect. I would also look at the whole picture vs. just elementary school. It is hard for you to believe now, but elementary school goes by in the blink of the eye. There are so many factors which go into making a good experience at school -- it is not just the size. Teachers, sense of community, the other families at the school, etc.

I agree with all of this.

We actually transferred my older DD from a school with 400ish students to one with 900+. The larger school was a much better school for her. Tons more resources, better run, great school wide community spirit. We were warned (by people at the smaller school) that the larger school would feel cold and impersonal and that was not our experience at all. My younger DD is now at a smaller school and I really wish we could send her to the other school. The smaller school is very clique-ish and that was our experience at the other smaller school as well. The larger school gave my older DD a much wider group of kids to find someone to connect with. My younger DD has not really made any close friends at her current (smaller) school.

[hellokitty]

I wouldn't rule out s school just based on it's size, unless the school is known to be a bad school.

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[westwoodmom04]

Have no clue where in the Los Angeles area you are, but if you live in Santa Monica (sounds like you may be), I would stay.

[vonfirmath]

You've gotten great advice so far, and I just want to echo the pp who said to make sure to look in the MS and HS in the new place and see what you think. It is hard to do research when you are so far away from that and, of course, things may change by the time your dc get to that level. However, my answer would be that I would move for an elem. school that was a much better fit for my dc IF I felt the MS and HS were also good.

I am currently in the process of selling/buying to move to a MS that is way better for my dd. It is in the same district as the HS I want her to go to as well.

When we moved we got into an area where the elementary school rated poorly, but both the MS and HS rated VERY well.

We lucked out. The elementary turns out to be one of the best, people wise, in the area (I've got teachers telling me it is a highly desired spot for teaching at and almost impossible to get a job because there is very little turnover)

[melrose7]

We are planning on moving to an area 30 minutes from where we live now and where I have lives my whole life. We are moving specifically for a school for one of my children. Our situation is different though as we are moving our special needs daughter to an inclusive school that we believe she can flourish in instead of just going through the motions in our current district.
It is not where we wanted to live but it is the only option for us so we are going to have to make the best of it.
The schools out other children are going to attend will be much smaller and very small townish schools. But I am praying I will be happy with those as well. If not we will consider private if need be.

[sste]

I think directly prior to the start of kindy is naturally a very anxiety provoking time for parents! I actually entertained the idea of only sending my son half day to our great full day program and staying home half day while keeping my full-time job?!?!

From a dif. perspective, we are now seeking treatment for our kindy aged son for mild anxiety and the thing every therapist I have talked to has stressed is to fight back the parental urge to change the environment or let your child not do x because it is scary. Basically that reinforces the anxiety and impedes the development of coping skills. Also anxiety strongly runs in families --I am not sure if that was part of the picture for your DH as child and is fueling his very strong reaction now.

Have you spent a day sitting in on the kindy classes at the two schools? NOT the tour, which is near useless IMO. Actually spending 1-2 hours in 2-3 dif. kindy classrooms at each school? For me, once I did this it was clear where I wanted our kids . . . and it was not in the school district virtually everyone thinks is "better" based on the test scores (read whiter, more affluent) and facilities. I will say that my dh and I did have a firm cutoff that we wanted the kindy to be no more than 20ish kids and the upper grades to generally be in the mid twenties, OK with occasional aberrant exception from year to year. I think even a stellar teacher starts to struggle when numbers go over that. So class size mattered to me but not school size.

[twotimesblue]

Thanks for all the great advice and input so far. The MS in the village is not great, whereas the HS ranks pretty highly. We would likely have to send the kids to private middle school (assuming we win the lottery at some point over the next several years ; )
Truth be told, we may well not be in the same town in the MS years. Mine and DH's job situations may have changed so we could potentially move somewhere with less expensive housing, and better/smaller schools. Impossible to know for sure, though, which is adding to the stress.

I agree that a tour is next to useless. I've been on several tours and only felt a strong connection to the village school, however. The teachers seemed very in tune with the children in the class that I observed, and friends of mine with shy kids have all had nothing but praise for the way the school seeks to make them feel comfortable, rather than always 'oiling the squeaky wheels' in the classroom. In some of the other public schools, the teachers seemed to devote much of their time to controlling the noisier/more disruptive kids. I'm sure that that could change dependent on the teacher and day I visited, though, so I'll try to go back and observe at a different time.

It's funny how your perception of a school can change so suddenly. I visited another local charter that everyone raves about... I was sure that I would love it. The principal totally turned me off... her speech was basically a 20-minute diatribe against boys (!) sparked by a parent's question about gender split and achievement. She ranted about how far behind girls in every subject they are, how much harder boys are to teach, how much more prone to educational challenges and aggression... I was honestly shocked and crossed the school off the list immediately! They were also big on 'teaching to the test', and kids started homework in K. The good API score definitely wasn't all it's cracked up to be in that instance.

If we could afford to buy in our current neighborhood it would make things much easier. It is so expensive, though, and there is almost zero inventory. Everything that does make it to market goes 15-20% above asking price. If I accept a place at our local public school, we have to stay living in this condo until DS ages out of elementary (if you move out of the district, you lose your spot. They're very strict about it). I was hoping to have my own front door before then :crying:

[bisous]

From a dif. perspective, we are now seeking treatment for our kindy aged son for mild anxiety and the thing every therapist I have talked to has stressed is to fight back the parental urge to change the environment or let your child not do x because it is scary. Basically that reinforces the anxiety and impedes the development of coping skills. Also anxiety strongly runs in families --I am not sure if that was part of the picture for your DH as child and is fueling his very strong reaction now.



This is extremely helpful information. Thank you!

[AnnieW625]

I wouldn't rule out s school just based on it's size, unless the school is known to be a bad school.

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:yeahthat: In general I don't think I would move unless I knew I would like living in the other town. I would try it out at first. I might also apply to the other school and maybe you'll get lucky. I am more concerned about high schools with 3500+ kids than 900 to 1200 student elementary and middle schools.

We chose Catholic school because it ended up being more affordable than public school when aftercare is taken into account. The school has 325 kids pre k-8.