What did you do to get your body & family ready for another child?

[ourbabygirl]

Other than charting cycles, taking prenatal vitamins, exercising & eating healthfully for pregnancy, what did you do to get your body, family, and lifestyle ready for another baby?
Basically things that would give you more personal life balance, and to get your marriage in a good enough place where you felt comfortable upsetting the apple cart again by adding another baby to the mix?

Anything for your emotional/ mental health, or maybe financial stuff for your household (trying to trim the budget, job-related changes, insurance, vehicle changes), de-cluttering the house & redecorating & rearranging bedrooms? Did you try to do all of it before TTC, while TTC, or during pregnancy/ adoption process? Any special trips you wanted to take with your kids/ partner/ family/ girlfriends/ on your own before adding a new little one? Things you wanted to make sure you paid off first, exercise routines you wanted to get started on, medical procedures (not necessarily pg-related) you needed to have taken care of, etc.?

Are there things you wish you would've done sooner, or things that ended up not really mattering when all was said and done? Anything that you would really recommend getting in order before going down this path? We're hoping to try for a third child, and it feels like a much bigger change than going from 1 to 2, I want to make sure I have my ducks in a row as much as possible before TTC. DH especially wants to make sure that I have more life balance since I get a lot of morning (/all day) sickness, and get pretty consumed with the baby for the first 2+ years (I need to do a better job & actually use a bottle sometime, whether that's pumping or using formula, getting a baby-sitter more often, going out with friends, etc.). I've learned a lot from my first two, but I know I have a long way to go, and I don't want my relationship with DH and my kids to suffer if I can help it. :)

Thanks in advance for anything you can share!

[anonomom]

If I'd had a choice before having my third child, I'd have gotten my wisdom teeth out (I'd been waiting until DD2 was weaned to get it done, then ended up pg unexpectedly) and completed some other dental work that requires multiple appointments.

In reality, the only thing we did before DS was born was hiring a cleaning service. I was barely keeping our house up to speed with two kids; DH knew it'd be impossible with 3 so we hired someone. As guilty as I feel about it, I have to admit it's nice to have at least that off my plate.

[georgiegirl]

We went out on a lot of date nights. Since I don't like to leave baby, we knew it would be a while. Actually the adjustment to a third has been pretty easy. Ds2 is 8 months old and he's so sweet! The most difficult adjustment was 0-1.

[maestramommy]

um, nothing? :p

We had our kids pretty close together, DD2 was even closer than we planned. I'd been eating as healthy as possible already, and had been walking a lot with DD1. So I had actually gotten pretty close to pre-pregnancy weight when I got pregnant again. I gained a ton of weight though, 2nd time around, over 50 lbs. Scary!

Now with DD3 it was a little different. We had just moved from a 2nd floor apt into a 2 story house. I was about 10-15 lbs over when I got pregnant again. But during that pregnancy I went up and down stairs multiple times a day and I now had 2 toddlers. I was also wearing DD2 almost all the time when we were out because she was so little and we never did get a double stroller. She spent a LOT of time on my back her first two years of life actually. So I gained less than 20 lbs this last pregnancy. it took me a while to lose it though, as I was now over 40 and didn't have much time nor energy to work out. I'm still yo yoing between training weight and 10 lbs over.

As for the other stuff, we didn't do anything. We just strapped ourselves in and held on, lol.

[bisous]

The most difficult adjustment was 0-1.

Amen to that!

I like these suggestions!

[Mamabear4]

I got my cavity filled. I cleaned out closets and moved some old clothes out so it wouldn't be such a huge job later. (Although I needed to clean outgrown clothes out anyway with the change in seasons. I meant to start exercising more, but it didn't happen and now I'm just exhausted.

[WatchingThemGrow]

For a 3rd DC, you'll likely need a bigger car, house, etc. any vacations without DC need to go ahead and happen bc getting grandparents to watch 3 for an extended time is difficult!


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[crayonblue]

The most difficult adjustment was 0-1.

COMPLETELY agree!!!!

As far as getting ready for a new baby, I did lose weight before DD3 and got down to my ideal weight. Good thing cause I ended up on bed rest and gained 60+. I can't imagine gaining that much on top of weight that needed to be lost. Besides that, we didn't do anything to get ourselves ready, that I can think of.

[amyx4]

I have a family photo taken before we add someone new. So that each "baby" gets to be the baby in the photo before we move on to the next new little person. It's probably not the most practical answer but it makes me happy to see those photos.

[wifecat]

Between #2 and #3, we moved across the country to a place we wanted to live. We bought a bigger house than we'd had on the East Coast - one with a yard - and dh got a job that paid better. Also in between #2 and #3, I got down to my goal weight (lost 90lbs). I became a runner and developed interests outside my kids (I tried to be the crafting/pinteresting/stay-at-home mom, and it wasn't working for me). Only because I really found myself were we willing to consider #3.

When we started talking about #3, we also decided we wanted our spiritual life to be more on track. We had been burned out on church previously, but we really wanted to find a community of like-minded believers, so we began seeking that out for our family. We've since found that community and it's wonderful.

And, erm, we had to get a vasectomy reversal. That was pretty vital to having #3. Ooops.

We also bought a mini-van, and I just quit my part-time job.

Baby #3, we're as ready as we're gonna be!

[AnnieW625]

In general going from 0-1 I didn't do much. DH and I decided we were going ttc starting in June, 2005 and we figured it might take some time because fertility issues run in my family (not with my mom, but with my grandma, and a great grandma) and I got pregnant in July. I had been taking a multi vitamin since my late teens and for many years my food had been bought from Trader Joe's and was on the healthy side. I never read any of the fertility books or consulted a fertility specialist just in case. The only activity I couldn't do while pregnant with DD1 was to walk more than about a 1/4 of a mile because it was so painful due to having placenta previa for 3/4s of my pregnancy.

Once we had DD1 I was happy and was very content on her being an only child until she was almost 2/1/2. DH and I decided to ttc and it took us 5 months for me to get pregnant and I think that was because our timing was never quite right and I still wasn't 100% convinced I wanted another child. We lost that baby in the second trimester and it was hard, but both DH and I knew we would eventually want at least one more baby.

Dd2 was an oopsie. I got pregnant not quite four months post loss, I had two periods (June, and July). We were were planning to wait until Jan., 2010 to ttc again and we said we would try for a year and if it happened great, if not DD would be an only. Well since I hadn't gone back on the pill and DH and I got lazy one afternoon and forgot protection we have DD2. We didn't have time to plan for much other than knowing we would eventually have to replace DH's then 10 yr. old Corolla (we were able to wait another 3 yrs. to do that). We knew I would go back to work as well. More than anything we just wanted our third pregnancy to be healthy and full term so we didn't really have too many what if scenarios or plans for the future.

As with DD1 to baby 2 and then baby 2 to DD2 I ate the same healthy diet and worked out on a very regular basis until I went into labor at 37 and 39 weeks. With DD2 I did have to stop running at 13 weeks because I started spotting.


For a 3rd DC, you'll likely need a bigger car, house, etc. any vacations without DC need to go ahead and happen bc getting grandparents to watch 3 for an extended time is difficult!


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We don't have 3, but this is seriously why we didn't have a 3rd kid after having DD2. And to be quite honest we have only left DD1 for three days with her god parents when she was just shy of 2 for our 5th anniversary. We have done overnights with them at the godparents a bunch, but we just always issues trying to plan for more than just one night.

Don't get me wrong if DD2 would have been a twin I would have been over the moon happy and I would sold our Corolla for a mini van in a heart beat, but 3 for us would have been really tough especially because there was no way we could have sold our 1100 sq. ft. house for what we paid for it until maybe just now. I also would have had to have gotten daycare for a steal or I would have had to thought seriously about quitting my job to stay home full time, but then the whole house thing would have been an issue as well as the payments would have been really really high on one income.

Eta: my plan was to lose the 20lbs or so I had gained with baby 2 before ttc, but I lost 8lbs. I had been taking dd1's small clothes and shoes out of rotation pretty regularly but other than that we didn't do much other prepping. We did paint dd1's room and mover her from one to another.

[WatchingThemGrow]

For a 3rd DC, you'll likely need a bigger car, house, etc. any vacations without DC need to go ahead and happen bc getting grandparents to watch 3 for an extended time is difficult!


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I need to add that we didn't actually know to DO any of these things beforehand. #2 was only 8-9 mos. old when we conceived #3, so there was barely time for decluttering a closet!

[schrocat]

No 3 and 4 were oops pregnancies so we didn't do much prep for them. However what was absolutely vital was getting a bigger car and a bigger house for the fourth baby. There's no way we could have fit a fourth child in a 1390 square foot townhouse. It was already cramped with our 3 kids in it. I would have liked to be healthier before the fourth pregnancy and the third pregnancy.

[Kestrel]

I would recommend you look at your & your family's vaccinations, and make sure everything is up to date. We adults often forget/delay boosters, and with the recent outbreaks of measles, mumps and whopping cough I would make sure MMR and DPT at current on parents/grands/siblings.

[specialp]

I would recommend you look at your & your family's vaccinations, and make sure everything is up to date. We adults often forget/delay boosters, and with the recent outbreaks of measles, mumps and whopping cough I would make sure MMR and DPT at current on parents/grands/siblings.

This. I wished I would have gotten up to date on vaccines I needed, my dental stuff, skin scan, and a baseline mammogram done.

[TxCat]

Between 1 and 2 I mostly took care of health stuff - dental exams with x-rays, baseline mammogram. I get severe morning sickness with pregnancy and can barely tolerate tooth brushing while pregnant so dental cleanings and exams are a no-go for me during pregnancy. Also made sure to have a child-free getaway with DH.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I did stuff for me. Worked out a bunch (loved my Group Power), and went on several weekend getaways. I also researched birthing centers bc I wanted that with ds1 but none were close. We moved between kids so there was an option. (Loved having ds2 at it, btw!). Did lots of fun things with ds1 too. eta- we just went from 1 to 2 so no new car or house needed. We didn't get around to cleaning out a room for ds2 til I was pretty pregnant. I have good, easy pregnancies so I can tackle all that sort of stuff while pregnant.

[american_mama]

I have to laugh at your post. I think many people want to do at least some of those things, but that it rarely happens. If it does, it's a huge luxury... then again, having the "optional" third child in itself is a "luxury" according to some news articles I've read. I wanted to improve my marriage, have a regular babysitter, but it never happened. Instead, life happens. The pregnancy happens (planned or not), the change in someone's job occurs or the something with a family member, the morning sickness, the helter skelter of three happens regardless of whether you are prepared or not. It's not all bad. A busy pace, a full life, a release of control... it's part of what you eventually embrace with kids. We all went through it already when we had our first or third or fifth. What was hardest with your first or second pregnancy and newborn phase that you would like to change?

I'd say do whatever you need to make your daily life more manageable and your family relationships stronger. Not an easy prescription and if they don't happen at this preordained time, it might happen later. On a very simple note, I read a book about infant sleep and watched Happiest Baby on the Block video, which helped enormously at helping our third child sleep much better than our older two ever did. The biggest advantage in having a third is NOT the bigger car or pre-child vacation; it's the knowledge that comes from being an experienced parent, including knowing what was a problem the first time around. Another child is a chance to confidently repeat what worked before and also to improve on what did not.

[queenmama]

Nothing.

1. I am huge on ideals and dreams but lack the focus and follow-through to be a planner. I have good intentions! I'm just easily distracted.

2. Our baby was a surprise. Not, "Oops! We weren't even TTC!" but "Wow! We thought another baby was a medical impossibility!" Going from 1-2 is a huge culture shock when your older child is 12! Nothing could've adequately prepared us. I wish we'd been able to do a huge bonding trip with DS or something before DD came along, but refer to #1.

Lara