sexual harassment in 5th grade

[cilantromapuche]

Ds had an incident with a kid who (when they were at their lockers) would put his butt in DS's face. I called and teacher moved lockers and kid to other side of room.

now, yesterday I find out that this kid has been taunting DS and saying things like "I know you want to have sex with so and so". this kid is also telling others that DS likes so and so and that he wants to sleep with so and so. So other kids are approaching him and asking him if it is true. the kids that are approaching him are jocks (scary that we are talking this way about 5th graders) and I think it seems to me part of the bullying.

DS is a smart sensitive kid. This breaks my heart. i went in this morning and talked to the principal. A school resource officer will speak to the kid, the parents will be called. I asked to have the kid moved to another classroom but i don't know if that will happen. There is a note on his record so that when they go to middle school there will be a trail. i wish i could get a restraining order against this kid.

[Tanya]

I would be requesting far more than having this kid be moved to another classroom. Isn't that just moving the problem? I'm so glad it will go on his record and it will travel with him though!!!

Last year, my daughter was in the 4th grade. A friend of hers was sexually harassed by a boy. The mom and girl fought it with the school and he eventually was suspended for 3 days. Still, the girl ended up changing schools because she was no longer comfortable being in the same school as this boy.
This year, in the 5th grade, that boy is in my daughter's class. He has bullied a few of her friends. Finally, it was brought to the teacher's attention and his parents were contacted. The boy was given a few detentions and cannot go on any field trips this year. Big deal. I wasn't in on these discussions, but I'd like to know if it was on his record from last year (they changed schools from 4th to 5th), because it sure doesn't seem like much of a consequence for bullying considering our schools supposedly have a zero tolerance for bullying.
I ask my daughter almost daily if she's having any trouble with this boy. I have already told her that if she has any problems whatsoever, I am there.

It makes me furious to think what kind of damage this can do to our children. If I was you, moving this kid to another locker or another classroom is just moving the problem. What about the next kid he harasses? How will this stop him from picking on your kid again at recess or lunch or in the restroom? I'd fight for more. He needs to know how serious this is. His parents need to be scared.

[Indianamom2]

That is so sad. I think you're doing all the right things, but my heart breaks for you and your Ds that, in 5th grade, he is already having to deal with such terrible behavior. Definitely keep a paper trail of everything that happens and don't forget to let your Ds know that he is doing the right thing by coming to you and keeping the lines of communication open. If he knows you are in his corner, it will give him some extra much-needed confidence and reassurance that he's not all alone in this.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.:hug:

[StantonHyde]

Remember--you can only ask for things for your child. YOu cannot ask for, or receive information on, things that impact the other child. Student privacy and all that.

[cilantromapuche]

The principal just called and asked about witnesses. i hate to think of his quiet, good boys who are friends getting pulled into this. DS just hates to talk about it. I keep on emphasizing that it is not his fault but he acts so embarassed.

[daisyd]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. There have been times when a bully slips through the cracks because there were "no witnesses", so it may not be a bad idea to have DS's friends involved and be available for support at school. After all, you can't be at school with DS. A matter of fact approach helps as also the message "you're not telling on (the other child), Mommy/ teacher needs to know about this".