Have you ever called in a political (small p) favor?

[ha98ed14]

Like making a ticket go away? Using influence to get your child into the class/teacher you wanted? Requesting a refund even when it goes against the store's policy because you know the manager/owner? If so, do you feel guilty about it?

[anonomom]

No, but if I ever had, I'd probably feel guilty. I'm deeply uncomfortable with the idea of getting special treatment unless I've done something to earn it.

[Katigre]

Yes, I don't feel guilty about it. It's part of the benefit of being well networked.

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[ha98ed14]

No, but if I ever had, I'd probably feel guilty. I'm deeply uncomfortable with the idea of getting special treatment unless I've done something to earn it.

Ok, so does volunteering a lot of hours and being very active on boards, committees, etc. count? I am so frustrated with the bureaucracy of local government and the schools. (Completely separate issues!) I know I could probably "solve" my problems with a few phone calls to the people on top. It is *SO* tempting even though it is ethically wrong. It's so stupid and I hate the fact that the principal has me under her thumb. I don't like her, and if it would not devastate my DD, I would pull her and put her elsewhere in the district! I guess this should have gone in the BP. I know it's wrong, but it's just so tempting because I could get out from under if I reached out to people I know. Mods, feel free to move.

[Katigre]

Why do you think it's wrong to circumvent the principal and reach out to people you know who can help overcome slow bureaucracy?

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[anonomom]

I don't know your situation and wouldn't presume to tell you you're right or wrong. :-) You asked for general opinions on a broad topic that happens to be one of my hangups. I didn't mean to imply that everyone should feel the same way I do (or act as if they do).

ETA: DH and I were just talking about this the other day -- he is very comfortable using his connections and trading favors and always has been (he was the guy in undergrad who never turned in a paper on time, went for beers with the profs and ended up getting Phi Beta Kappa). I, OTOH, have always been one to toe the line and abide by every rule, and have always been worried that I might overstep and/or take advantage of someone.

[TwinFoxes]

I wouldn't ask for a ticket to go away, just because I think that could put someone in a very awkward position, and might come back to bite them in the butt. But, for example, I was having issues with our IT department at my sometimes work. I happen to be good friends with the head of the department, so I sent him an email about it. Voila, problem solved. But honestly, if anyone had emailed him, he probably would have looked into it, but most people don't go to the heads of departments usually.

I'm not sure about your school issue. It doesn't sound like you want rules broken, you just want to speed the process along? Hmm, I don't know what I'd do. I don't think it's black and white unethical.

[janine]

I haven't but I would! It's the way of the world. Of course I am not talking about any unseemly or highly unethical/illegal favors.

I am not connected enough, and bad at networking, but it is pretty much the key to most things these days.

[scrooks]

I haven't but I would! It's the way of the world. Of course I am not talking about any unseemly or highly unethical/illegal favors.

I am not connected enough, and bad at networking, but it is pretty much the key to most things these days.
Yes to all of this!

[ha98ed14]

Why do you think it's wrong to circumvent the principal and reach out to people you know who can help overcome slow bureaucracy?

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Well, it's not all bureaucracy. It's more politics, I guess. I n my "dispute" with the city, it is because their refund policy for camps, etc. is what it is, although I will say I was not made fully aware of it before committing. The "supervisor" in Parks 'n Rec won't budge, but I know people who could easily tell him I was an exception and make him give me back my money. He has no clue who I am, but I've volunteered a lot with the city. However, if I was Jane Q. Public! I would have to abide by the policies.

In the case of our principal, it's just a general disdain for the way she does business and how she treats people who are not her intimates. There are parents with influence and who are important enough to get face time with the principal to get their concerns addressed. I am not one of those people. I could pretty easily get DD in at another good school in the district because we have an in there. I just want out from under her thumb! I want to be able to bite my thumb at her and say, Shove it! I don't need you!" She is petty enough that I have no doubt she could put DD in the least desirable class next year, but DD won't know that and would be devastated to not go to her school anymore.

[basil]

I don't have any influence in politics, but I work in healthcare. So I have used my influence to get family members appointments with doctors when they were supposedly not taking new patients or schedule was full or whatever.

I was really tempted get someone in trouble recently though. I went to the retail arm of my organization to purchase something with my husband and son. DS was being fussy, and the person working there seemed to go out of her way to avoid helping us, I guess hoping we'd just leave. I was trying to avoid "Do you know who I am???", but needed to bring up the employee discount I'm entitled to, and she denied it existed at that level until I forced her to look it up!

I ended up giving her the benefit of the doubt that she was having a bad day and a 2 year old running around the place messing up her shop was getting on her nerves (as it was getting on mine), but it was not good service even if I hadn't been a "VIP" (hate that word).

[chlobo]

Well, it's not all bureaucracy. It's more politics, I guess. I n my "dispute" with the city, it is because their refund policy for camps, etc. is what it is, although I will say I was not made fully aware of it before committing. The "supervisor" in Parks 'n Rec won't budge, but I know people who could easily tell him I was an exception and make him give me back my money. He has no clue who I am, but I've volunteered a lot with the city. However, if I was Jane Q. Public! I would have to abide by the policies.

In the case of our principal, it's just a general disdain for the way she does business and how she treats people who are not her intimates. There are parents with influence and who are important enough to get face time with the principal to get their concerns addressed. I am not one of those people. I could pretty easily get DD in at another good school in the district because we have an in there. I just want out from under her thumb! I want to be able to bite my thumb at her and say, Shove it! I don't need you!" She is petty enough that I have no doubt she could put DD in the least desirable class next year, but DD won't know that and would be devastated to not go to her school anymore.

At this point after 3 years of disappointing teachers for my DD I would totally go above anyone's head if it got me the outcome I wanted, which is a better classroom environment for my child. Our school has a lot of "squeaky wheels" who always seem to get what they want and it can be infuriating. As for the refund issue, it depends on how much money was at stake but I'd certainly give it my best shot.

[AnnieW625]

I never have. Now if in a year my DD2 doesn't get into kindergarten at the Catholic school in 2015 (because she is not in the pre k program in 2014-2015 and the principal isn't using the old standard admittance guidelines or she is just being super selective now) DD1 goes I will have no problem going to the pastor of the church and getting the principal to change her mind (as this is a parish school and DD2 is a sibling, and we are active members of our church and the school) and making sure that DD2 is admitted.

[mackmama]

I have in the past. I recently had the opportunity to do so re DC's school but chose not to use my contacts as much as I could. I didn't want any potential bias against DC like "oh that's the kid whose mom called so-and-so."

[StantonHyde]

I do it all the time. I network extensively and help people out as much as I can. I certainly have not gotten out of a city parking ticket but I have gotten out of campus ones! I don't overuse it. You have to be selective.

[ahisma]

My dad's an old school politician - of course I have;)

I'd never try to make a ticket go away though, I don't think I'd do the return thing either. I will say that I have very intentionally volunteered for the principal's pet project because I know that I'll need to request a few favors when DS2 gets to kindy (he's an anxiety kid). I've also very intentionally not asked for any favors for DS1 for the same reason.