? About ADD/ADHD symptoms

[s7714]

Can kids with these conditions seemingly be fine at school and only exhibit issues at home or is it generally an across the board thing?

My middle DD (8) has always been a hand full personality wise to the point I've questioned if I should get her evaluated for something. One thing has always held me back though--she doesn't behave the same way at school. She's never had any behavior issues at school other than she has a hard time staying focused. She also seems to have short-term memory issues, FWIW. At home she's the complete opposite in behavior (the inability to stay focused on things she doesn't want to do and memory issues still happen.) She's hot and cold running emotion, violent when angry, etc. She'll be happy one second and then screaming and throwing things literally a second later if something seemingly minor to the rest of us sets her off. She has gotten better at times with age, but then we'll go right back to square one it seems. I was talking to a friend the other day whose DD was diagnosed last year, and everything she was saying was like she was talking about my own DD except for the fact my DD doesn't have issues at school while her's does. I'm wondering if I should just go ahead and try to get her evaluated. Either that or I need to find myself a therapist. After yesterday's outburst during which she said she hated me and wished I'd just disappear, I felt like telling her I wished I could just disappear and not have to deal with her too. Sad mommy moment. :(

[bnme]

This sounds a lot like my DS2, who is about to turn 10. He has inattentive type ADD and was diagnosed about 1 year ago. He always had similar types of issues at home, but was never a problem in school. Very sweet, quiet and an extreme rule follower. He was always struggling with his school work, but keeping his head above the water with AIS, speech services, etc. Every thing started to fall apart for him in school in 3rd grade when the work got more difficult and detailed- he could no longer handle it. He became very frustrated that he could not do the work and began to be more difficult in school. It was around this time he was diagnosed. I think many of his tantrums at home were tied to the fact that he was not focused, so the warning did not filter through ("time to turn off the TV now or you lose it for the night"), then he'd get very upset with the consequence. Sorry if this is a little disjointed, running off to meeting, but I couldn't read and not respond. Hugs

I would go ahead with the evaluation if there is any question in your mind.

[Indianamom2]

The short answer is YES. What you described is my DD to a "T". Up until this year, no would officially diagnose her with ADHD, but only because her teacher last year was a first year teacher and really didn't see the signs, which are often really hard to see with young girls, particularly if they are ADHD-innattentive-type. DD is 9.5 and ALL her official testing clearly points to ADHD. The psychologist said her would bet his life on it, but because the teacher wasn't seeing any signs, he couldn't officially diagnose her.

What I have always been told is that bright children with ADHD can often compensate for a while. They work really hard to hold everything together in school/public, and then they let loose at home because they've spent the day stressed about trying to hold themselves together. That's why she explodes at home. As she gets older, the signs will start to appear...often by middle school as the work load gets heavier and the teachers do a lot less hand-holding.

My DD was never a problem in school and got straight A's until she hit 3rd grade. This teacher is very experienced and started noticing signs, and DD has had a few minor behavior issues too. She is now on meds, but we're actually going to the psychiatrist this afternoon to talk about trying something a little longer-acting because while it helps her at school, she is still falling apart at home.

My advice would be to get the ball rolling on getting some testing done. A psychologist can do the testing, which can be fairly involved.

[mikeys_mom]

What I have always been told is that bright children with ADHD can often compensate for a while. They work really hard to hold everything together in school/public, and then they let loose at home because they've spent the day stressed about trying to hold themselves together. That's why she explodes at home. As she gets older, the signs will start to appear...often by middle school as the work load gets heavier and the teachers do a lot less hand-holding.

This was exactly what happened to DN. SIL started to suspect something around grade 4-5 based on behaviours she saw at home. Teachers blew it off as nothing. He was doing fine in school. Getting high grades. It all fell apart for him in grade 6. Grades plummeted. Behaviour was unmanageable both at home and school. They did a full evaluation asap and it was very clearly ADHD. He's now on medication and doing extremely well in high school.

My DS doesn't have ADHD but he has Aspergers, NVLD and executive functioning deficits and it was also a similar situation. He's extremely bright so academically he could breeze through grades 1 and 2. Behaviour was a bit immature but not anything alarming for that age. He'd clearly been holding it together all day in school and would come home and be an absolute beast to deal with. Some days I thought I would lose my mind. At my urging, we got him evaluated and by grade 3 we knew what we were dealing with. Learning strategies to deal with non-neurotypical kids has been a lifesaver for me.

I agree with PP's that I'd start the testing process. It can take a long time. Took us a year to get a full answer.

[KHF]

Absolutely get her evaluated. My DD is 8 also. As the PPs said, it can be difficult to identify AD/HD if it's the inattentive type. My DD would just mentally check out in school. Hers came to the forefront more quickly because she's also dyslexic, but in a child without dyslexia, I would guess 3rd grade or so would be when it would fall apart because more is required from them academically. Teachers may not notice the ones that just check out like they are going to notice the kids running in circles around their desk from the hyperactivity.

[s7714]

Thanks everyone! Did you initiate the process to get your DCs tested through your school district or through your pediatrician?

[KHF]

It's considered a medical issue, so you might start with your pediatrician. I'm getting ready to get my son tested, so since I already knew the psychologist we used for DD, I just called her directly.

[Indianamom2]

DD goes to a private school so we went to the pediatrician who referred us to the psychologist.

[s7714]

So how did you explain to your DC what the testing process was about? I know if I don't word things just right I'll get a you think I'm stupid or you think there's something wrong with me response since that's her typical response to that type of situation.

[hillview]

Both my kids have had neuropsych evals. I just told them they get to miss school and do some fun practice stuff with someone else who can help us see if there is anything they need for learning. Low key. Lots of kids do it. Should be fun. FWIW I'd get a neuropsych eval based on what you wrote.

[s7714]

Both my kids have had neuropsych evals. I just told them they get to miss school and do some fun practice stuff with someone else who can help us see if there is anything they need for learning. Low key. Lots of kids do it. Should be fun. FWIW I'd get a neuropsych eval based on what you wrote.

I'm starting to read up on stuff, but is a neuropsych eval usually done by request only? Is it looking for separate issues apart from the general ADHD stuff or does it dig deeper?

[hillview]

I went to a center that does neuropsych evals. I asked for it based on mommy gut feelings that things were off (and they were) for DS1 and ended up with an ADHD and some other dx. For DS2 I ordered it for spelling issues he is having. They can find what the root cause is of behavior stuff. Could be ADHD but not all issues end up being ADHD. DS2 was having angry episodes and some hyper / low self control.