Why bother???

[SAHMIL]

So DS is now 7 y.o. and he is my only one and that's just the way it worked out. So, i"m enjoying a teacher summer of being with him, except for one thing. I have tried like crazy to set up play dates and outings with friends of his from school. i"m home so this can happen. It's tougher during the school year because I work and he goes to the extended day program and who wants their kid going there with my kid after school to wait for me? I am just about crying right now becasue he wants a play date with a friend, or an outing to the zoo with a friend or something fun like that, and it breaks my heart to hear him ask me " why" someone can't come over to play. :( I have asked and people have other plans or whatever. If it was me, I wish someone would just say something.

[Globetrotter]

(((hugs))))) how disappointing!

Can you send an email blast to parents of his classmates/friends and see if anyone is up for a summer playdate? That is standard in our circle because people travel at different times and it's hard to coordinate otherwise.

[TwinFoxes]

I can almost guarantee you it's not you. My girls have had no time for playdates. We have been busy every single day this summer. They are on a "mini" swim team, plus we go to the pool for fun, they started a 3 week 1/2 day camp today, we've been camping, to festivals, the fair, not to mention a smattering if parties. We are having a blast this summer, but free time is spent hanging out as a family or neighbor kids spontaneously (or napping, thank you swim team!!!) From my experience, play dates aren't done during the summer. It's just so hard to coordinate schedules.

[niccig]

I hear you, we're in the same situation. DS is an only and I'm off all summer, so I didn't book camps except for one week of half-day soccer camp. We're doing a lot of day outings the two of us, as I'm trying to keep him from being bored. There's one friend who is home from camp a couple days a week as his Dad works from home. I've taken both boys to outings, so DS gets to spend time with a friend and the other family is happy as the dad can work uninterrupted that day. Basically, I'm the child care for 4-6 hours and I'm OK with it as DS has a blast with his friend. We've gone to the beach, gone to local museums etc.

I agree with sending out an email blast and see who replies. One mother just sent out an email for a meet-up at local bowling place. I need to send an email to another mother to see about going to local amusement park as we both have passes.

I hope you DS can see some play mates soon.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'm sorry. :( Joining a local pool is the best. I never schedule play dates in the summer. Just roll the dice and figure there will be someone to play with there.

[almostmom]

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's good for me to hear the other side. I hate that my kids have to go to camp every morning - i so wish we could just hang out like you are, going on outings or just relaxing or having playdates. But between camp and baseball games and practices, and an occasional weekend away (much harder with summer baseball), we have so little time. And I even asked DS if he wanted to invite his best friend over last week, on a rare free afternoon, and he said no, he didn't want to have a playdate. And this is one of his best friends who he hasn't seen since school got out 3 weeks ago! He is just too tired, and preferred to just be home and chill out.
I guess the reality is playdates are hard in the summer, and that is a bummer for you and your son. I do think the suggestion of joining a pool is a good one. We've been on the waiting list for ours for 5 years, so I know that isn't always easy! But summer seems more casual, like whoever you are with at the moment (at the pool, at camp) you may just stay with into the evening, or the next day. So going places where his friends may be might lead to more get togethers.

[Kindra178]

I don't think it's you. I swear my dses are busier in the summer than during the school year. They have camp until 3 most weeks, plus swim, piano, math and reading enrichment and TKD. Join the pool, go every day and see who you see!

[belovedgandp]

I didn't even schedule camps this summer and I'm having a hard time getting people together. The kids are in camp two weeks all summer and we have two long weekends planned, but it has still been busy.

I do a lot of the e-mail blast to a large number of friends saying "We want to go to the zoo Wednesday or Thursday is anyone available?" or "We will be at Park XYZ with our picnic lunch at 10:30 Tuesday if you can join us." Gives us a plan and usually at least someone can join us at the last minute.

The planner in me hates it, but lots of people do not commit for things more than 24 hours in advance because of weather, risk of tired kids from ball/swim events, and all that kind of stuff.

[Corie]

I can almost guarantee you it's not you. My girls have had no time for playdates. We have been busy every single day this summer. They are on a "mini" swim team, plus we go to the pool for fun, they started a 3 week 1/2 day camp today, we've been camping, to festivals, the fair, not to mention a smattering if parties. We are having a blast this summer, but free time is spent hanging out as a family or neighbor kids spontaneously (or napping, thank you swim team!!!) From my experience, play dates aren't done during the summer. It's just so hard to coordinate schedules.


Completely agree!!! It's totally not you!

[BunnyBee]

It's not you! I agree with the email blasts and being open to siblings or dropoffs (if you aren't already). I wouldn't be able to come to a 1:1 outing without hiring a sitter for my others, which TBH wouldn't happen for a play date. My kids alternate camp weeks because there's only one of me for dropoff and pickup and trying to fit another activity in is overwhelming. And we are way under scheduled compared to my friends' kids! Their schedules make me want to curl in a ball and weep. Swim team and tennis and camp and...

I'm sorry your DS is upset. I hope you find a buddy soon!

[almostamom]

I completely understand! I am a teacher as well. We had all of the boys in DS' class over to swim the first week of break. We had one friend over twice but only because his mom needed a sitter those days and didn't want to have to pay. I've found that if I call a friend's parent and invite that friend on an outing with us and I offer to pay, they will say yes. It would be really nice if just once one of these parents would invite my child. Maybe all of us teachers who are also moms of onlies need to get our kids together! :)

[hellokitty]

Join moms club (www.momsclub.org). Even though you are a teacher, you should be able to join, since you are off during summers. Built in playdates! Also, try to find another family with just an only, they are probably in the same boat. For us, we are so busy, it's hard to fit in playdates, so it's not a personal snub.

[hbridge]

We also join the local pool for this reason. DC actually has a friend who calls me whenever he is going to the pool! Otherwise DC plays with whoever is there...

[SAHMIL]

Good idea. I htink my son is a bit too old. He's 7 and i thought that was for preschool and under. It seems all the families of onlies around here send their kids to camp after camp after camp. One of them sent them to a 3 week martial arts camp that goes from 9-4 all day. for 3 weeks.

[KrisM]

My oldest is doing a few camps, but the 8 and 6 year old only did 1 week all summer. But, we use facebook a lot. We have a local "chatter" group for moms. I know many of them and the kids know many more of them. So, people will post what time they will be at the pool, the beach, a playground, etc and generally a handful of others join and meet them. I wonder if you have anything like this near you?

[essnce629]

I've had to turn down every weekday playdate this summer so far! First, we were in Europe for 3 weeks immediately after school ended. Then both kids started camp the Monday we returned. DS1 is almost 11 and is in camp M-F till 4pm then has swim team practice from 4:30-6:00pm every day. And then after 4 weeks of camp we'll probably head down to San Diego to stay at my mom's for another week or two, so again won't be around till school starts! So the only days we can do play dates are on the weekend.

I'm sure your DS's friends are similarly busy. Have you inquired about getting together on the weekend? Weekend afternoons work best for us (after morning practices and games).

[94bruin]

I think it's harder during the summer because kids don't necessarily have regular schedules like during the school year. Add in vacations, and it can be tough to schedule. DD1 has a friend who's mom has been trying to schedule a playdate. She asked back in June, and I was laughing because between camps and vacation and visitors, we couldn't schedule it for at least a month. And they still haven't seen each other! We do have a sleepover planned for Aug. Sadly about a month and a half after the other mom asked!