The annual trip to the ILs' house is under way

[Ms B]

I know we are getting close because the only things I have seen out the car windows for the last 90 minutes have been rice, soybeans, grain elevators, combines, a couple Sonics and some churches. And also a nice selection of combines.

Oh, and the two cars of DEA officers off to bust something.

This has all the makings of a SPECTACULAR weekend.

More updates later, particularly as the outlaws (meaning the relatives that we only see when we come to town) show up.

ETA: Now we are really close. I can see the power plant.

[georgiegirl]

They must live not too far from me.

[Ms B]

UPDATE 1 - I forgot about the shrine to DH and The Biscuit. Two dozen plus pictures in frames and on the walls in one room. I am in two of them. (To be fair, FIL only makes about three of them; it's all about DH and The Biscuit.)

Also, the room that DH and I are in features a framed 8 by 10 of DH and MIL. I plan to face that one down for the duration. I do not want MIL's picture looking at me while I dress.

[BunnyBee]

UPDATE 1 - I forgot about the shrine to DH and The Biscuit. Two dozen plus pictures in frames and on the walls in one room. I am in two of them. (To be fair, FIL only makes about three of them; it's all about DH and The Biscuit.)

Also, the room that DH and I are in features a framed 8 by 10 of DH and MIL. I plan to face that one down for the duration. I do not want MIL's picture looking at me while I dress.

Ha! Is this the wreath room too?

If it makes you feel better, DH's grandmother had framed pics of him and his siblings at our wedding with me cut out.

[Ms B]

Ha! Is this the wreath room too?

If it makes you feel better, DH's grandmother had framed pics of him and his siblings at our wedding with me cut out.
The Biscuit is in the wreath room.

That said, our room has a closet filled with Xmas stuff, including a large bag of 'holiday spice' scented potpourri that has convinced me not to put anything in said closet because I do not want everything I brought to smell like 'holiday spice'.

[StantonHyde]

Do you have your flask???? Just keep taking sips from it.......

[Philly Mom]

Do you have your flask???? Just keep taking sips from it.......

I agree with this. If no one focuses on you, can you at least sneak away and read a good book?


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[MamaMolly]

:popc1: At least we will get some fun vicarious IL stories! Mine come next week. Checking off the list including the pre-visit trip to the liquor store. Hiccup!

[Ms B]

UPDATE: The WiFi here is, let's just say, not of the same speed and capacity as at home. This severely hindering my ability to post (and also to get any work done remotely.

UPDATE: The Scentsys are putting me over the edge. There are three of them . . . All in the combo kitchen/dining/living area . . . All going . . . and each with a different smell. I tried talking long bathroom breaks, but the guest bath has a scented thingy of its own in it . . . And also scented foaming soap, hand soap, air freshening spray and a candle.

UPDATE: MIL wants to argue with DH about whether it is safe to just rinse out a Shout spray bottle and use that to spray water on the barbecue charcoal when flare ups happen. Uh . . . NO.

UPDATE: Turns out this afternoon's BBQ actually is a birthday party for The Biscuit. MIL insists it is not, but the sheet cake that says "Happy Birthday Biscuit" and the party hats, plates, and balloons in the kitchen indicate otherwise (not to mention the call from MIL's BFF asking why we won't let her give The Biscuit a character themed gift at his birthday party today).

I am going to go find out where DH stashed the rum.

[elizabethkott]

Oh sweet lord.



I am going to go find out where DH stashed the rum.

You need some ginger beer and a lime to go with that! Dark and stormy!!!! It will make *everything* much, much better, I promise. ;)

[Kestrel]

Oh my gosh, the smells would drive me crazy! Can you take a Benadryl or similar and go take an extended "nap"?

Even dump the scentsy fuel stuff in the middle of the night? Or just switch them off, casually, and hope it takes a while to be noticed?

[Ms B]

UPDATE: MIL's BFF showed up early, came in the back door, howled "HELLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO" and woke The Biscuit up from his nap.

UPDATE: MIL has announced that she wants a concealed carry permit. And she's not even drinking.

[StantonHyde]

1. unplug/turn off/empty all the scented crap. Bets are that she has a terrible sense of smell and that's why there is so much of it. So she won't notice if you turn it off!!

2. You could let MIL spray the BBQ, if she really wants to........

3. When is the Biscuit's bday? Any time near this date?? I mean, the whole "no its not" when it totally is--beyond passive aggressive crap. But does it get even crazier in that his bday is 2 months from now??

4. You will need to take a "nap" with the Biscuit every day. He has trouble sleeping in new places. (you could just sit in there with the computer, a book, or the rum!)

5. Any possibility of taking some walks? Or is it too hot/humid? You know, that new "make your life active" kick you've been on lately??

6. Get your own supply of alcohol and don't share with DH!!

[trales]

Suggest that she use scentsy oils on the bbq for the flare ups.

[BDKmom]

This all sounds just like when I visit my family.

OP, I'm sorry you are living this, but this thread is hysterical. Keep the updates coming.

[Ms B]

UPDATE. Turns out FIL has a loaded gun in the house. Yet another reason why the ILs are not permitted to have The Biscuit at their house without us.

UPDATE: Spongebob Squarepants baby wash! The perfect gift for The Biscuit! A definite donation.

[ArizonaGirl]

I'm sorry, but just know that I am :hysterical: over this thread right now.

:54:

[Ms B]

UPDATE: They all finally have left, but DH's uncle has invited himself to breakfast tomorrow morning. Seems he got shredded cheese and sausage "on clearance" today (I am afraid to ask what that means), so he will be showing up with them for DH's mom to cook because his wife is out of town. I expect I will not be very hungry in the morning.

[elizabethkott]

Spongebob baby wash? Whole container in the tub = best bubble bath EVER. One time exposure, product GONE.
Clearance sausage? Wth IS that, anyway? Sauté in rum. Rum will kill the bacteria, and add to the morning buffer. ;)
LOADED GUN IN THE HOUSE?! Wth, old man?! I got nothing for this one. Maybe pour some scented oil down the barrel to render it inoperable?

[BDKmom]

Spongebob baby wash? Whole container in the tub = best bubble bath EVER. One time exposure, product GONE.
Clearance sausage? Wth IS that, anyway? Sauté in rum. Rum will kill the bacteria, and add to the morning buffer. ;)
LOADED GUN IN THE HOUSE?! Wth, old man?! I got nothing for this one. Maybe pour some scented oil down the barrel to render it inoperable?

I agree with all of this. Especially the parts about the rum.

[crayonblue]

Suggest that she use scentsy oils on the bbq for the flare ups.

Lolololol! This really made me giggle. I HATE scentsy (allergies).

[lalasmama]

I'm suddenly thankful that my MIL just asks about my husband's junk! Oy vey!

OP, I'm so sorry that you have ILs like this! Makes you wonder how DH came out normal, huh? At least, that's what I always think after my MIL calls ;)