Am I doing this wrong?

[basil]

Trying to potty train DS…

We have training underwear and plastic pants that he's been wearing for 2 days. We've sat on the potty, little Elmo potty and big potty with potty seat like a thousand times every 20 minutes and no results. I can't really tell if he's actively resisting or if he doesn't know how to accomplish peeing on the potty.

Yesterday he went from 1pm to 7 pm with dry pants…then peed within 5 minutes of us putting a diaper on to get ready for bed. We've offered stickers to sit on the potty and chocolate for pee on the potty. We've both gone in and gone in front of him. Today I tried to tank him up with juice so he'd need to go more often but he is now refusing to drink the juice (we don't have juice like ever so I figured it was high value for him..guess not!).

Today he peed in his training pants during his nap, but hasn't otherwise wet his diaper or training pants. It's 5 pm! Help!!

[JBaxter]

Mine all potty trained naked/ bottomless. They peed in underpants, pull ups and diapers. 3 of them didn't wear any kind of underpants for months after potty training. ( just soft pants/ shorts)

[nfowife]

I'd just put him back in diapers and try again in a month or so. Doesn't sound ready to me. And when you do try again use pull ups or diapers for sleep.

[wellyes]

I'd just put him back in diapers and try again in a month or so. Doesn't sound ready to me. And when you do try again use pull ups or diapers for sleep.

Agreed.

[basil]

The reason I thought he was ready is because when he is resisting napping or going to bed...he will pee or poo his diaper and call out to have it changed... Since he knows that's a sure way of getting us in the room again. Sometimes it's small amount of pee so he must have the required control, no? And he's the only kid in his preschool class who isn't trained.

Tonight after dinner he spent one hour on the potty playing ipad and nothing. Then put a diaper on getting ready for bed and it's already wet.

[PZMommy]

My DS just turned 3. We have tried to train him, and he just isn't ready. He tells us if he is wet or poopy, but if we sit him on the potty he does nothing. Daycare has been trying as well. He is one of the only ones not trained in his class, but oh well. My older DS trained at 2 1/2, so I'm a bit frustrated, but this is beyond my control.

I'd stop and try again in another month or so. You don't want him to withhold going, as that can create other problems.

[flashy09]

Training pants were useless for me. DD1 just acted like they were a diaper. I let her pick some underwear she liked and kept the little potty within 10 feet of her the first few days. She had some accidents, but was very aware of them and wanted out of her pants immediately and I was able to discuss how much nicer going in the potty and staying dry is. I do diapers for naps and night time, but underwear was the way to go for me.

[westwoodmom04]

Newly 3 is young for a boy to be potty trained. Both of my kids could control when they went well before they were willing to give up diapers. I'd wait and try again in a month or more.

[mikala]

Mine all potty trained naked/ bottomless. They peed in underpants, pull ups and diapers. 3 of them didn't wear any kind of underpants for months after potty training. ( just soft pants/ shorts)
I agree with the bottomless method. We did that for a day or two and transitioned to no undies, then added underwear around a month.

How old is he? If close to 3 I'd keep trying, if under 2.5 I might pause and try again soon. It sounds like he definitely has bladder control down if he can hold it that long and essentially pee on command for attention. I'd use a little potty and would figure out his currency (m&m, stickers, whatever) . I'd also find a themed potty book that fits his interests. DS loved a pirate potty book and a superhero one.

I found that the first two days were the hardest and then it clicked.

[SnuggleBuggles]

It took 6 days for it to click for ds2. He was over 3yo. We went cold turkey on diapers. He just didn't care at all about accidents.

[sweetsue98]

Training pants were useless for me. DD1 just acted like they were a diaper. I let her pick some underwear she liked and kept the little potty within 10 feet of her the first few days. She had some accidents, but was very aware of them and wanted out of her pants immediately and I was able to discuss how much nicer going in the potty and staying dry is. I do diapers for naps and night time, but underwear was the way to go for me.

Totally agree with this! Fully potty trained my 2 dds by 2.5 years old

[AngB]

DS1 just potty trained in July at 3 and 3 months. He had been nearly potty trained last fall (would pee or poop on the potty for bribes when he wanted them), then all of a sudden he freaked out and refused to sit on the potty at all for about a year. Honestly I am soooo glad we waited as long as we did. We basically just told him we weren't buying diapers anymore. He went naked awhile then commando then finally boxer briefs (he hated the regular briefs). He basically just started using the potty again (after months and months of begging, trying to bribe him, etc. We just stopped talking about it a few weeks.) He usually will stop and tell us he needs to go and has had 2 accidents total. I agree with waiting awhile longer and then just going to underwear awhile. The "set a timer and make them sit every x minutes" type methods seem like way way too much work to me. I would rather wait a couple extra months and have it be much easier.

[HannaAddict]

He's just not ready. Three is young for a boy and even if it wasn't, he's letting you know he's not ready. Put him in diapers and follow his lead. Let him pick out some undies that he knows where they are in his room. It won't be long (weeks/months) that he goes in and wants to wear undies and will go in the potty. Make sure a potty chair is available or a potty ring and ask once in awhile. But I would back off the active potty training for now. And many kids whose parents claim are potty trained at younger ages - three - aren't! Our preschool had many kids who wet themselves and could go for awhile but weren't really truly potty trained but their parents claimed they were to avoid the small diaper fee! Good luck and be patient.

[JBaxter]

I'm glad to see others have been able to have potty trained kids at this age. 4 boys potty trained ( Daytime) at about 2.5
Totally agree with this! Fully potty trained my 2 dds by 2.5 years old

[basil]

Thanks for all the input!

Here's where I think we are:
1) He understands diapers are for "that feeling" (of having to pee)
2) He understands underwear are not for "that feeling" - like I said in 2 days, the only wet underwear we had was during nap.
3) He does not understand that potties are for "that feeling"

When I said training pants, I meant underwear with plastic pants on top….DH is very conscious of potential messes…They are Batman underwear and he does want to wear them…he cried today when I put him in a diaper :(

I think in his little mind, we just put him in underwear so that he has to wait until he gets a diaper to pee. He's not connecting lack of diapers and the potty at all. Potty is just a weird game mommy keeps talking about, but he gets stickers when he plays along. I just don't know how to make that connection for him. He's seen others go plenty of times at home and at preschool.

[I'm ignoring BMs for the time being since he almost always goes either 1st thing in the morning, or right before or after nap]

[wellyes]

Get rid of the plastic pants and no more diapers. Transition stuff adds to confusion in my experience. If he can't or if the inevitable mess would be not ok that means wait.

[westwoodmom04]

Thanks for all the input!

Here's where I think we are:
1) He understands diapers are for "that feeling" (of having to pee)
2) He understands underwear are not for "that feeling" - like I said in 2 days, the only wet underwear we had was during nap.
3) He does not understand that potties are for "that feeling"

When I said training pants, I meant underwear with plastic pants on top….DH is very conscious of potential messes…They are Batman underwear and he does want to wear them…he cried today when I put him in a diaper :(

I think in his little mind, we just put him in underwear so that he has to wait until he gets a diaper to pee. He's not connecting lack of diapers and the potty at all. Potty is just a weird game mommy keeps talking about, but he gets stickers when he plays along. I just don't know how to make that connection for him. He's seen others go plenty of times at home and at preschool.

[I'm ignoring BMs for the time being since he almost always goes either 1st thing in the morning, or right before or after nap]

It definitely sounds like he's just not ready. I agree with everything HannaAddict said. My pediatrician advised only trying for a limited time and then waiting, otherwise the child will think that accidents are normal and/or become very frustrated. In terms of getting him ready for another try in a few weeks, there is an Elmo video that talks about all aspects of potty training from a kid's perspective, I would try that.

[SnuggleBuggles]

After your update, I'd be inclined to back off for a bit. He doesn't really get it yet- and that's ok!! My boys were last to PT in preschool by a good amount. But, I purposely chose a preschool that had no rules about that. They understood that it's a milestone not all kids hit at 3yo (or whatever date).

[azzeps]

Just wait, because when he is really ready, it will be SO EASY. Or at least *easier* than it is if you try to coerce/cajole, etc. For my DS, we just took his diaper off, put the little potty in the room where we spent time, and he went on his own. We didn't ask him to sit or anything. We provided jelly beans as a reward, and of course we've had our share of accidents, too, but really, it was pretty easy. He's doing better now at wearing training underwear and not peeing in it, so it's been a progression. Now we're working on independent butt wiping! HA! Best wishes to you!

[HannaAddict]

And who really cares if it is 2.5 or 3.5? It really isn't a big deal despite inlaws or others asking if or when he potty trained and doesn't make you a better parent. Hang in there and it will happen, even if you wait a bit. :)

[TxCat]

I agree that it sounds like he just isn't ready. Most pediatricians will tell you that this is a developmental stage and they really hate it when it's forced on kids by arbitrary nursery school requirements. If your school isn't requiring it, I'd wait. If your school is requiring it, I'd do 3-day potty training, which is basically cold turkey on the diapers and you put them in underwear - no training pants or plastic pants.

[ExcitedMamma]

FWIW most pediatricians advice in waiting is based on outdated research sponsored by diaper companies. If you have the time to invest in it keep going. DS was sully trained and in underwear FT by 2.5. I think you should try first of all to have a set low key routine about using the potty. Once he's willing to sit with it being no big deal you can increase the times. Make going before and after meals non-negotiable. Just make it what he does every day. Once he's used to that you could increase from there and make it fun. Like if he likes Batman use that. DS loved the Cars movie so I put the characters up in the bathroom and we learned all their names while he sat. We bought him the big Disney pack of cars and told him if he sat every day on the potty he could choose one car every Friday. Just to encourage him to stick with it no taking anything away if he didn't actually go or giving anything when he did go. We did get excited and encouraged him when he did go of course. We talked about going to the store and choosing new underwear when he was ready. I asked him to choose a big reward when he was fully trained and he said he wanted a play kitchen so we talked about that. He still remembers it and brings up why he got his cars and his kitchen. He was proud of his accomplishment and still feels good about it. Before disposables boys were trained routinely by 2ish because it was easier on moms so it is still completely doable and he'll feel good about himself. Just help encourage and motivate him along the way. Good luck!

[basil]

So much conflicting advice I don't know what to do :(

I feel like he's really close. Like if he got it just once he'd get it and do it from then on. This is consistent with his personality overall - likes to make sure he can do something before he does it at all, but once he does there's no stopping him.

I don't have any need to rush him - preschool doesn't care. But I just feel like he's ready and can do it but that I've failed in adequately instructing him how :(

[SnuggleBuggles]

Like I said, it took us 6 cold turkey days (diapers for sleeping) for it to click. If you feel like he is right on the verge, then tough out a few more days. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong.

IME with ds1, it sucks to get in a battle of wills. If he isn't resistant then you need to decide what you want to do. My ds1 totally wasn't ready, wouldn't willingly sit, didn't care about special underwear, basically he was super resistant and stubborn. That's the situation I feel no value whatsoever in pursuing.

Your case is a gray area so it's totally up to you and how much you want to push it. Be willing for it to take longer.

[JBaxter]

Ive been doing this mommy thing for almost 23 years IF you think hes close then LISTEN to your mommy voice she's usually right. It s nice to get input from random strangers from the internet but YOU know your child hes at the right age. I give the listen to what your inner mommy voice says to every new mom I know. He's 3 your not pushing him hes showing signs and you need to hang in there.
So much conflicting advice I don't know what to do :(

I feel like he's really close. Like if he got it just once he'd get it and do it from then on. This is consistent with his personality overall - likes to make sure he can do something before he does it at all, but once he does there's no stopping him.

I don't have any need to rush him - preschool doesn't care. But I just feel like he's ready and can do it but that I've failed in adequately instructing him how :(

[flashy09]

I would overrule your DH and not worry about the mess. The mess is what helped make my DD aware that peeing in pants was not pleasant. I don't think just feeling wet would have been as effective. Since your DS seems to get the connection of underwear means no peeing, but not the connection of no peeing in under = peeing in potty, I would take a weekend and sit him (stand him? I have two girls, lol!) on the potty every hour and see if that helps him get it.

[mikala]

I would overrule your DH and not worry about the mess. The mess is what helped make my DD aware that peeing in pants was not pleasant. I don't think just feeling wet would have been as effective. Since your DS seems to get the connection of underwear means no peeing, but not the connection of no peeing in under = peeing in potty, I would take a weekend and sit him (stand him? I have two girls, lol!) on the potty every hour and see if that helps him get it.
I agree with this advice. I found that my nervousness about messes stressed my son out and we were both much calmer once I relaxed a little. I made a checklist of how I'd clean up accidents and temporarily moved a few things that would be harder to clean like a decorative couch pillow that wasn't machine washable. I kept a spray bottle with vinegar and water for pee and had a bottle of carpet cleaner handy for poop. We laid a blanket casually on the couch and I encouraged play in a room with wood floors :-p I brought the little potty with us at first and plopped him on it the second I saw pee or a poop stance. This helped make the connection that the potty was for pee and poop.

[westwoodmom04]

FWIW most pediatricians advice in waiting is based on outdated research sponsored by diaper companies. If you have the time to invest in it keep going. DS was sully trained and in underwear FT by 2.5. I think you should try first of all to have a set low key routine about using the potty. Once he's willing to sit with it being no big deal you can increase the times. Make going before and after meals non-negotiable. Just make it what he does every day. Once he's used to that you could increase from there and make it fun. Like if he likes Batman use that. DS loved the Cars movie so I put the characters up in the bathroom and we learned all their names while he sat. We bought him the big Disney pack of cars and told him if he sat every day on the potty he could choose one car every Friday. Just to encourage him to stick with it no taking anything away if he didn't actually go or giving anything when he did go. We did get excited and encouraged him when he did go of course. We talked about going to the store and choosing new underwear when he was ready. I asked him to choose a big reward when he was fully trained and he said he wanted a play kitchen so we talked about that. He still remembers it and brings up why he got his cars and his kitchen. He was proud of his accomplishment and still feels good about it. Before disposables boys were trained routinely by 2ish because it was easier on moms so it is still completely doable and he'll feel good about himself. Just help encourage and motivate him along the way. Good luck!

I am a hundred percent positive that my pediatrician is not relying upon "outdated research from diaper companies." It's wonderful that your child was ready at 2, some children aren't.

[mommyp]

I am a hundred percent positive that my pediatrician is not relying upon "outdated research from diaper companies." It's wonderful that your child was ready at 2, some children aren't.

:yeahthat:
There is no way DD was going to be trained at that age. She was 3 y 4 m, on the older end for girls. Once she decided she was ready for underwear she never had a single accident. At this point, DS (almost 3) sometimes recognizes and tells us, other times not. We don't bribe, we simply encourage every attempt. For us, waiting until they tell us they are ready has caused less stress for everyone.

OP, you're not doing anything wrong. It is so individual! :hug:

[HannaAddict]

FWIW most pediatricians advice in waiting is based on outdated research sponsored by diaper companies. If you have the time to invest in it keep going. DS was sully trained and in underwear FT by 2.5. I think you should try first of all to have a set low key routine about using the potty. Once he's willing to sit with it being no big deal you can increase the times. Make going before and after meals non-negotiable. Just make it what he does every day. Once he's used to that you could increase from there and make it fun. Like if he likes Batman use that. DS loved the Cars movie so I put the characters up in the bathroom and we learned all their names while he sat. We bought him the big Disney pack of cars and told him if he sat every day on the potty he could choose one car every Friday. Just to encourage him to stick with it no taking anything away if he didn't actually go or giving anything when he did go. We did get excited and encouraged him when he did go of course. We talked about going to the store and choosing new underwear when he was ready. I asked him to choose a big reward when he was fully trained and he said he wanted a play kitchen so we talked about that. He still remembers it and brings up why he got his cars and his kitchen. He was proud of his accomplishment and still feels good about it. Before disposables boys were trained routinely by 2ish because it was easier on moms so it is still completely doable and he'll feel good about himself. Just help encourage and motivate him along the way. Good luck!

That is sooo not true. Diaper company conspiracy theory, that is hilarious! Of course some kids train earlier and you can try and force it. The "outdated research" is actually the forcing kids to do it by two according to the pediatricians we know and parenting books I've read.

[JBaxter]

Could depend on where your Ped was trained. My favorite ped ever told me 2 was a good age to potty train or start anyway. He went to med school in India. He also advocated cloth diapers. Its not hard to get kids out of diapers before 3 Yes I would be horrified if my normally developed child was in diapers at 3.5 2 of mine were reading site words by then. I hated washing diapers/ changing diapers and they all were very proud when they wore big boy pants and now baby diapers.

[basil]

We tried again yesterday with underwear only and he still had no accidents, but just waited for a diaper at naptime. Then I put him in for nap and he called back 3 minutes later saying he peed and wanted a new diaper. He also peed during or right after his nap. Back in underwear for the afternoon and again no accidents but no pee either until we put a diaper on for bedtime. I had to put him in a diaper again today for preschool though.

We are putting him on the potty as often as he will do...there's only so much motivation I can offer him, he's bored with the stickers now but generally will go with one of us. I don't understand how he can hold it so long - TMI but I peed at least 5 times in that length of time, but I am a compulsive water drinker. I've been trying to encourage him to drink more but he won't do that either, at least with water and milk.

I sort of think I waited too long..but I didn't want to do it right before or after DD was born because I knew that would already be a big upheaval for him, and then we traveled so much this summer the timing was tough.

Today when I was dropping off DD at daycare, one of his former teachers asked him if he was going to go on the potty today. He said "No!" very emphatically. :cry:

[SnuggleBuggles]

We tried again yesterday with underwear only and he still had no accidents, but just waited for a diaper at naptime. Then I put him in for nap and he called back 3 minutes later saying he peed and wanted a new diaper. He also peed during or right after his nap. Back in underwear for the afternoon and again no accidents but no pee either until we put a diaper on for bedtime. I had to put him in a diaper again today for preschool though.

We are putting him on the potty as often as he will do...there's only so much motivation I can offer him, he's bored with the stickers now but generally will go with one of us. I don't understand how he can hold it so long - TMI but I peed at least 5 times in that length of time, but I am a compulsive water drinker. I've been trying to encourage him to drink more but he won't do that either, at least with water and milk.

I sort of think I waited too long..but I didn't want to do it right before or after DD was born because I knew that would already be a big upheaval for him, and then we traveled so much this summer the timing was tough.

Today when I was dropping off DD at daycare, one of his former teachers asked him if he was going to go on the potty today. He said "No!" very emphatically. :cry:

My story with ds1- we went cold turkey (with a lot of lead up talk before hand) and it was 3 excruciating days. He held it all day, each day. Only to pee all over the floor at dinner time. He was stressed, we were stressed, he was crying, we were upset- it was a huge disaster!! He just plain and simple wasn't ready or willing, imo. So, we took a few months off. Night and day difference. One day we decided to try it again, and he was done with diapers in one day. When he was ready, he was ready. That is why I am on the side of waiting. Once it becomes a battle of them holding it, I think you are in a tough place. You can't make them go and you just don't have leverage if they don't want to do it.

[westwoodmom04]

My story with ds1- we went cold turkey (with a lot of lead up talk before hand) and it was 3 excruciating days. He held it all day, each day. Only to pee all over the floor at dinner time. He was stressed, we were stressed, he was crying, we were upset- it was a huge disaster!! He just plain and simple wasn't ready or willing, imo. So, we took a few months off. Night and day difference. One day we decided to try it again, and he was done with diapers in one day. When he was ready, he was ready. That is why I am on the side of waiting. Once it becomes a battle of them holding it, I think you are in a tough place. You can't make them go and you just don't have leverage if they don't want to do it.

That was exactly our experience. DD had exactly one accident after moving to underwear the second time and ds had two -- no drama. Kids can be ready, but not willing. Also, the new baby can be a factor. The older sibling often wants to do the same thing the baby does especially those things that get attention from parents.

[TxCat]

FWIW most pediatricians advice in waiting is based on outdated research sponsored by diaper companies. If you have the time to invest in it keep going. DS was sully trained and in underwear FT by 2.5. I think you should try first of all to have a set low key routine about using the potty. Once he's willing to sit with it being no big deal you can increase the times. Make going before and after meals non-negotiable. Just make it what he does every day. Once he's used to that you could increase from there and make it fun. Like if he likes Batman use that. DS loved the Cars movie so I put the characters up in the bathroom and we learned all their names while he sat. We bought him the big Disney pack of cars and told him if he sat every day on the potty he could choose one car every Friday. Just to encourage him to stick with it no taking anything away if he didn't actually go or giving anything when he did go. We did get excited and encouraged him when he did go of course. We talked about going to the store and choosing new underwear when he was ready. I asked him to choose a big reward when he was fully trained and he said he wanted a play kitchen so we talked about that. He still remembers it and brings up why he got his cars and his kitchen. He was proud of his accomplishment and still feels good about it. Before disposables boys were trained routinely by 2ish because it was easier on moms so it is still completely doable and he'll feel good about himself. Just help encourage and motivate him along the way. Good luck!

It's a developmental milestone. Just like crawling and walking and talking. Some kids get there on the early end, some get there on the late end. Not every kid can or will be potty trained at the exact same age.

[HannaAddict]

Could depend on where your Ped was trained. My favorite ped ever told me 2 was a good age to potty train or start anyway. He went to med school in India. He also advocated cloth diapers. Its not hard to get kids out of diapers before 3 Yes I would be horrified if my normally developed child was in diapers at 3.5 2 of mine were reading site words by then. I hated washing diapers/ changing diapers and they all were very proud when they wore big boy pants and now baby diapers.

You do realize reading and being in diapers bear no relation to each other? And nope, good old intellectual elite pediatricians from the USA here. Hope you don't share your "horrified" attitude with your DIL's someday! Or they will be posting in the BP. :)

[JBaxter]

You do realize reading and being in diapers bear no relation to each other? And nope, good old intellectual elite pediatricians from the USA here. Hope you don't share your "horrified" attitude with your DIL's someday! Or they will be posting in the BP. :)
I'm glad you share your feelings on foreign trained doctors with us. Free standing preschools in many states still require children to be potty trained to enter at 3 If its not normal to have a child out of daytime diapers by or around that age why has that policy been in effect for 20 or more years? I'm sure any DILs I have will produce body function advanced children as the rest of my family seem to have produced. OP Good luck on getting him to click on using the potty keeping his undies dry and using his potty.

[123LuckyMom]

There is support for arguments advocating earlier and later training. The fact that many preschools require it means nothing. There are still schools in this country using corporal punishment.

To me it doesn't sound like your child has made the connection that pee and poop go in the potty. Until he realizes this and the strives to accomplish it, he is not ready to train. I would put him back in diapers. I would then concentrate on successful peeing and pooping in the potty. Once he actually accomplishes his business inside the potty, you can give him lots of praise! Read books like Potty by Patricelli and have him watch videos like once Upon A Potty and Elmo's Potty Time (I think those are the titles.)

After he understands that pee and poop go in the potty and gas actually managed to do it a few times, set a date to stop all diapers. You and he can do a countdown to the day when he wears undies. On that day, all the diapers and pull ups go, and he wears undies only. Take him to the potty every hour or so. There will be accidents, and you just can't be too stressed about them. Buy some Nature's Miracle, and stick with the potty.

If I were you, though, I'd spend a nice long time just working on the concept and getting some success in the potty and forget for now about undies and consistency.

[Philly Mom]

There is support for arguments advocating earlier and later training. The fact that many preschools require it means nothing. There are still schools in this country using corporal punishment.

To me it doesn't sound like your child has made the connection that pee and poop go in the potty. Until he realizes this and the strives to accomplish it, he is not ready to train. I would put him back in diapers. I would then concentrate on successful peeing and pooping in the potty. Once he actually accomplishes his business inside the potty, you can give him lots of praise! Read books like Potty by Patricelli and have him watch videos like once Upon A Potty and Elmo's Potty Time (I think those are the titles.)

After he understands that pee and poop go in the potty and gas actually managed to do it a few times, set a date to stop all diapers. You and he can do a countdown to the day when he wears undies. On that day, all the diapers and pull ups go, and he wears undies only. Take him to the potty every hour or so. There will be accidents, and you just can't be too stressed about them. Buy some Nature's Miracle, and stick with the potty.

If I were you, though, I'd spend a nice long time just working on the concept and getting some success in the potty and forget for now about undies and consistency.

I agree with this. I knew my DD1 was ready when she could and would use the potty for pee and poop. For about three weeks, she asked to use the potty right before bed, but she always went, often pee and poop. She also would go during the day if given the opportunity and sometimes on her own initiative. Within one day of being in underwear she went from having a few accidents to being almost accident free with the exception of just forgetting at times. I am going to guess that she has had 5-6 accidents total while awake since that first day. She does still wear a pull up at night and needs to.

[jren]

My DD was trained by 2, but my DS was still having accidents well past 3. It just depends on the kid sometimes. DD was night-time trained around 2, also, but DS still isn't and he's almost 6! I haven't done anything different for either of them, but I eventually just had to back off of DS and just let it go. Many times, it is hereditary. Mine do not share biological birth parents.

[basil]

Well, last night after school we stopped at Sam's Club and he saw some underwear with superheros on it and begged me to buy it. So I did and then when we got home he begged me to wear it. He wore his Green Lantern underwear around for an hour or so and then had an accident while helping me make a pizza. He didn't know what happened :( I explained to him that big boys pee on the potty and if he had peed on the potty he could have gotten some chocolate. I think I'm just going to follow his lead when we get home today if he wants to wear diapers or underwear.

On the bright side, he is already reading a few sight words, mainly finding his name and picking "Superman" off a page of text!

[anonomom]

I just want to send some support your way. I was pretty much in your spot back in May, but desperate to have DS trained before preschool (because preschool requires it). I eventually had to accept that he'd do it when he was good and ready, and not a minute before. I told him so, in so many words, and about a month later he decided he wanted to be trained. We made the deadline with about three weeks to spare.

I don't think newly 3 is all that late for potty training.

(and, FWIW, my son is totally illiterate. :) )

[TwinFoxes]

We did three day potty training. It worked really well. Basically, talked up the fact that we were getting rid of diapers on such and such date. The girls threw them away. They wore undies. If they had to go, they were supposed to go. If one started to have an accident I grabbed her, and dashed to the potty. I cleaned up a LOT of pee the first two days. I wanted to give up. Low and behold, day three, we went shopping at Trader Joes no diaper. They were potty trained! Woo hoo! They were approximately 2 years 7 months. I think sticking kids on a potty for a long time until they pee poop isn't a great way to potty train. They need to know when they have to go, not just go and they happen to be on the toilet.

I think that some kids aren't ready to potty train by three. However, I do also feel that the pendulum has kind of swung too far in the other direction. Kids need guidance. I don't understand why for potty training it's OK now to just let the kid decide when s/he is ready. I don't let my kids decide when they're ready to use silverware vs their hands, or to start drinking with an open cup vs straw cup, or when they'll go to preschool. It just seems like some parents feel that any sort of parental encouragement to potty train is a bad idea and we should just wait for kids to decide to potty train on their own. I personally had no desire to have two 4 year olds demanding I change their poopy diapers.

People know their own kids best, but I don't understand why there's so much advice to just wait. Maybe he just needs a bit more encouragement. :shrug:

[Myira]

Ok I read most posts here and have to say OP we are in the same boat. DS moved to preschool 3 weeks ago and potty trained is a requirement. Well he almost always has poop accidents at home and sometimes pee as well although those are fewer. At school he somehow stays dry somedays and 2-3 days of the weeks has poop accidents.
This is a child that has been in underwears( our daycare is against pull ups) since the start of 2014 in daycare!
We have resigned to pull ups at home since it takes 30 minutes of cleanup after a poop accidents and we so not have time to do that 3-4 times a day plus he is not getting the message.

To each his own, I am at my wits end but hanging in there. I am thinking of giving 3-day potty training a shot.

I am from India and keep hearing everyone saying that kids there are potty trained by 1! I am now immune to that, clearly that's not my kid and I have a carpeted house here in the US unlike India where most homes have tiled floors so sanitizing is easier. I tell myself to not feel too bad he is not going to college in diapers.



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[wellyes]

I seriously would stop trying with a kid who has been resisting for weeks / months. Take a break and come back to it. Because the few kids I know who potty trained very late (like after 5) were the ones who did it halfheartedly off and on for years.

With both my kids, I had a false start that was initially wonderful then fell apart. Both times I stepped away from it for a few months. And both times, when they decided they were ready (at about 3), it was a relatively easy process that took just a few days tops. So I am biased towards waiting.


I know all kids are probably capable of PTing earlier- that's how it was when I was a kid before disposables and how it is in much of the world still. But it didn't work for me. And I see my experience echoed often here by other posters.