Quick: potty training help?

[basil]

DS really really wants to be potty trained. He keeps talking about wearing his superhero underwear, how he's a big boy, etc. All his friends at preschool are potty trained.

So 2 days ago we went cold turkey except for naps and overnight.

Yesterday, he had an accident at preschool while washing his hands after sitting on the toilet. Then he wet his diaper during nap, the teacher said it was a lot.

When we got home, he immediately told me he needed to go to the potty, and he was holding himself like he needed to really go. So I rushed him to the toilet and nothing. I let him sit for about 15 minutes then he cried to get up. As soon as we pulled his underwear and pants up - while we were still in the bathroom - he had an accident.

He did the same thing (asking to go, nothing happening after long period of time, then having an accident) in the bath last night.

This morning, he woke up and said he needed to go to the potty. His overnight diaper was dry. So I put him on, he sat for well over an hour, with nothing and then peed as soon as he pulled up his pjs.

So there's a pattern of him knowing he needs to go, but then not going on the toilet, then going as soon as his clothes get back on.

Help??!?!? Please don't say he's not ready. He and we really want this. I feel like we are one breakthrough away, but I don't know how to get there.

[JBaxter]

lots of fluids, turn the water on in the bathroom keep a potty chair in the living room or general area he's playing drop a cheerio in the toilet and let him stand ( yeah I know its not ideal but DS3 would not pee sitting) I was known to stand in the bath room and have mine "grunt" to help get them started flush the toilet ( again water sound) Mine took longer for nights/ naps When potty training we set a timer and went and tried every hour if no pee we we went back every 30 min to try again.

[jawilli4]

I don't know if it's helpful and may be TMI, but my son really liked peeing in a disposable cup when he was learning. Maybe try that if all else fails?

[basil]

Thanks!
We have been trying off and on for 6 months. This is the first time he's been able to tell when he needs to go. But I feel like it's feeling odd to him to pee without something on him, whether diaper or underwear. That's why he holds it on the toilet but pees in his underwear right after?

Is it ever a good idea to leave his underwear on and let him pee through it into the potty? Alternately turn up the heat and let him run around naked from the waist down? I just feel like this is a hump he needs to get over and then he'll be good.

[KrisM]

We did naked for potty training. It's worth a try.

[JBaxter]

No dont let him start to pee in his undies. Sets a bad precedent. I never adjusted the heat just keep his shirt and socks on ( well as long as its 68-72 ish)
Im thinking that too once he does it once he'll be gold. LOTS of liquids so he has to go a lot.

[Simon]

I think he is ready, he just needs to learn how to relax the muscles he uses to hold in the pee during the day. Its normal for kids to have a learning curve on this. I would put the little potty (if you have one) in front of the tv or bring lots of books into the bathroom. When he feels the urge to go, take him to the potty as usual and then help him sit and relax until he releases the pee. Turn on running water, whatever works for him. After a few successes (or days of success, your choice), once he can reliably relax and let go, you can ask him to play the "stop/start" game where he practices stopping and starting his pee while sitting on the potty. That practice will help train him to know how to relax the muscles when he wants to. Good luck! He sounds very motivated which is great.

[mmommy]

The good news is that he does know when he needs to go and he really is controlling it. I agree that he's having trouble relaxing. Instead of having him sit for so long, I'd limit the sitting - try, and if he doesn't go, get up, wash hands, then sit again. Maybe even try a little ritual of washing hands in warm water before even trying to go. That gets the water noise and warmth without the waste of water. He may start going during the hand washing - just pick him up and put him on the potty to finish. That's a win.
I wouldn't put the potty anywhere but in the bathroom, as IME that just gets kiddos to want it there all the time, which I find gross, but that is my opinion and whatever works for a family works.

[Katigre]

DS really really wants to be potty trained. He keeps talking about wearing his superhero underwear, how he's a big boy, etc. All his friends at preschool are potty trained.

So 2 days ago we went cold turkey except for naps and overnight.

Yesterday, he had an accident at preschool while washing his hands after sitting on the toilet. Then he wet his diaper during nap, the teacher said it was a lot.

When we got home, he immediately told me he needed to go to the potty, and he was holding himself like he needed to really go. So I rushed him to the toilet and nothing. I let him sit for about 15 minutes then he cried to get up. As soon as we pulled his underwear and pants up - while we were still in the bathroom - he had an accident.

He did the same thing (asking to go, nothing happening after long period of time, then having an accident) in the bath last night.

This morning, he woke up and said he needed to go to the potty. His overnight diaper was dry. So I put him on, he sat for well over an hour, with nothing and then peed as soon as he pulled up his pjs.

So there's a pattern of him knowing he needs to go, but then not going on the toilet, then going as soon as his clothes get back on.

Help??!?!? Please don't say he's not ready. He and we really want this. I feel like we are one breakthrough away, but I don't know how to get there.

I just (last week) pt'ed DS2. I'm going to say you haven't given it long enough, and are jumping ahead by steps. Here is what to expect with average pt'ing:

1. Expect one week of hardcore potty focus, endless hours sitting on the potty, accidents on the floor. It takes 5 days of this for them to build decent body awareness - calling ANYTHING about potty training readiness after 2 days is not realistic.

2. Have him sit a lot longer each time until he can control the muscle. No joke, DS2 was sitting on the potty for 45 minutes of each hour at first (lots of screen time kept him there, lol)

3. Don't be discouraged about accidents - they are actually part of the process of learning. As long as he notices he's wet then don't worry

4. Get pull-ups for him to wear out of the house for the first 1-2 weeks (at least) so there aren't embarrassing accidents. He may need pull ups for nap/night for awhile longer (This totally depends on each kid). To make it more realistic, have him wear underwear INSIDE his pull-up so he still gets the wet sensations.

5. Can't emphasize this enough - your life will be 'the potty, sit on the potty, how long has it been since you went potty' for a week but then a corner turns and it's wonderful! DS2 is dry all the time now and peeing on cue no problem - a week ago he wasn't.

[Ms B]

Just wanted to add words of encouragement -- we are training The Biscuit right now as well! We did an entire Thanksgiving weekend of Half-Naked Biscuit (thanks ILs, you REALLY did help!!) and have been sending The Biscuit to school in underpants this week. So far we are four days in and have had two accident free days, one day with one accident, and one day with two accidents.

What is working for us is to put The Biscuit on the potty every 30 minutes or so whether he wants to or not. We also have been keeping him bare butt in the evenings, which makes it easier to keep an eye on things, if you KWIM. Our challenge is going to be getting him to poop in the potty (he asks for a diaper, poops within ten minutes, and then wants the diaper off), but we just want to have a string of dry days before we concentrate on the poop, which I anticipate will involve prune juice and plenty of applesauce.

Chin up! In just a couple weeks you will know where every potty in town is!!!!

[twowhat?]

Yes to running water! I think you're right and he just needs to get over that one hump of peeing in the potty rather than his clothing/diaper. It does sound like he's ready!

Run the water in the sink or bathtub (whatever is closer to him) while he's sitting on the pot. Or get a bowl of warm water and let him put his hands/feet into it while sitting on the pot. Or if you have a shower head that reaches, run warm water on him while he's sitting on the pot.

Wish someone had done that for me when I got my catheter out after my c-section.

Or get him a book or other distraction to play with on the pot.

[basil]

Warm water, huh? Never thought if that, will try it.

I was thinking that running the water was a Pavlovian association born of the fact that that's close to the sound peeing in a toilet makes, so he wouldn't necessarily have that. Plus, since he's sitting (w the ipad) for hour long stretches, that's a lot of water ;)

Will try to stay the course but DH who is home w him today wants to give up :(

[mackmama]

Naked potty training is what got us over the hump. Turn up the heat, and let him be free. The DVD "potty power" was also invaluable to us (we tried many other potty training vids, but only this one did the trick - recommended to us on here).

[twowhat?]

Warm water, huh? Never thought if that, will try it.

I was thinking that running the water was a Pavlovian association born of the fact that that's close to the sound peeing in a toilet makes, so he wouldn't necessarily have that. Plus, since he's sitting (w the ipad) for hour long stretches, that's a lot of water ;)

Will try to stay the course but DH who is home w him today wants to give up :(

When DD1 was about 15 months old and the ped was trying to get a pee sample by taping that collection bag on her...we waited for almost TWO HOURS without her peeing. Finally one of the nurses told me to take her to the bathroom, fill the sink with warm water, and let her put her hands/feet in it. Presto - IMMEDIATE pee:)

[123LuckyMom]

When DD1 was about 15 months old and the ped was trying to get a pee sample by taping that collection bag on her...we waited for almost TWO HOURS without her peeing. Finally one of the nurses told me to take her to the bathroom, fill the sink with warm water, and let her put her hands/feet in it. Presto - IMMEDIATE pee:)

It really works! In fact, in summer sleepover camp, this was a known prank. If you put someone's hand in warm water, they'd pee in the bed!

I wouldn't leave him on the potty for so long. I'd do 10-15 minutes at a time maximum. While he was on the potty I'd try making sssssssss noises, running the tap a bit, and putting his hand in a cup of warm water. If there was no action, off the potty he'd go. I'd try again in half an hour or so or if he feels the urge again. Also, if you're using the big toilet rather than a free standing potty, get a high stool he can rest his feet on so they're not dangling. The closer you can get him to a squatting position with his knees above the level of his bottom, the easier it will be for him to relax the right muscles. That's one reason why a free standing potty can be better for a beginner.

[anonomom]

If you think he's peeing in reaction to the feeling of having his clothes on, maybe you can take advantage of the fly on his underwear? As in, keep the undies up but have him use the fly for, um, clearance.

(if you're already doing this, my apologies for stating the obvious. When we trained DS, I for some reason never even considered that the fly was functional on little boy undies).

[basil]

If you think he's peeing in reaction to the feeling of having his clothes on, maybe you can take advantage of the fly on his underwear? As in, keep the undies up but have him use the fly for, um, clearance.

(if you're already doing this, my apologies for stating the obvious. When we trained DS, I for some reason never even considered that the fly was functional on little boy undies).

OMG, this never would have occurred to me in a million years!! Definitely will try tonight with some warm water.