If you WOTH, could you support yourself/kids by yourself?

[mackmama]

For those who WOTH, could you support yourself and kids on your current salary if necessary (divorce, death of spouse, spousal disability, etc)?

[ncat]

I could, but might have to downsize our house or move to lower tax area.

That said, in my current situation (married) I am better off not working at all than moving to half-time. I actually come out behind after daycare expenses (part-time options aren't proportional) and the high marginal tax rates on the second earner's salary.

[egoldber]

Yes. But I would have to move. Well, technically, if DH died, his life insurance would pay off the house, but I would want a smaller house and yard. But in the case of divorce or disability, yes.

[hillview]

yes, we'd have to change a few things but we'd be ok.

ETA: If DH died insurance would take good care of us -- not significant changes. We have disability insurance for him, we'd have a little less and the cost of his disability would likely be more so we'd make a few changes and depending on his situation even move houses (we have a lot of stairs) but financially be okay maybe cut down on some things to balance out the difference. Divorce I think we'd be ok -- maybe minor changes (vacation $ etc). If his entire financial contribution was wiped out with no insurance etc. We'd maybe move and change other things (nanny/house keeper etc) but still be just fine financially.

[khalloc]

No. I could if I had taken a different job, but I took a lower paying job with more flexibility. I'd probably have to look for a better paying job, or at least go back to full time work. I currently only work 30 hours a week.

[boolady]

Well, you're talking about three very different scenarios when you say death, divorce and spousal disability. If my DH died, yes, I could, because I could pay off our house with his life insurance and my salary would cover DD and my living expenses. In the case of divorce, yes, because due to DH's schedule, I would be the primary custodial parent and I would definitely be entitled to substantial child support. Spousal disability would cause the most significant financial issues, because even though DH would likely be entitled to long-term disability pay, as he has been employed FT his entire adult life, the three of us would have to adjust to that reduced family income.

Are you asking about these situations if there was no life insurance, child and/or spousal support or disability? If that's what you mean, and just want to know if DD and I could survive on just my salary, I think we could, but it would be very, very close. ETA: Though, we might move to a smaller home, not that ours is large by any means, and that would help.

[HonoluluMom]

I'm a single mom, so yes.

[StantonHyde]

I could if I moved from part time to full time--and my boss would love that! We certainly wouldn't be at the same standard of living, but we would be ok. Lots of people live on what would be my salary. It would just be a shock to my kids in terms of cost cutting. I didn't get married until I was 35 so I am used to a nice, but lower income, life style. DH makes 3-4x what I would make so it wouldn't matter what job I got, I couldn't make up that disparity.

For death and disability, we have gobs of insurance, but I can still see us downsizing.

[AngB]

Not a woth mom currently, but no way on my teaching salary that I was making before DS1, that's partly why I'm not working as my salary would basically only cover childcare. With life insurance or child support, it would be tight and we'd have to change some things but we'd get by okay I think.

[TxCat]

Yes. We might downsize our home due to property taxes but otherwise would be in okay shape.

[citymama]

I don't think this is a yes/no poll.

For almost everyone but the current single parents, there would be some changes. Yes, I earn close to half of the family income, but since it's not like we save 50% of our income, obviously there would be changes. We don't do private school, so the main expense is mortgage payment (and food, insurance). But my job requires travel so I would need to hire help or move somewhere else to be able to do my job!

[basil]

Yes, we'd be ok. I'd have more trouble adjusting to the lack of a partner with childcare responsibilities than financially.

[vludmilla]

Yes, I could support DD's and myself, in part, due to significant savings and a relatively good salary.

[babyonway]

I'm a single mom, so yes.

:yeahthat:

[JElaineB]

I said yes, but I would sell my house and move to something smaller. I have no interest or ability to keep up our house and 6 acres of land on my own.

ETA: I think spousal disability would be way different than death. My DH hasn't been able to get long term care insurance (we've tried twice) and if he has any disability insurance through work it is probably crappy. So if he died or we divorced, yes, I would be fine. If he becomes disabled I am not as confident, it would depend on the type of care he needed.

[Kindra178]

Yes. We might downsize our home due to property taxes but otherwise would be in okay shape.

Same here.

[gymnbomb]

Definitely not in our current house and daycare situation with no family in driving distance. Probably in a similar job (if I could get one...) in a lower cost of living area. Definitely yes if I lived near my parents and could use them as daycare.

Edit: I was supporting myself in a decent 2 bedroom townhouse apartment with my current job before DH moved in, but that was before DS and daycare!

[arivecchi]

Yes I could but we would have to make adjustments as DH's salary is much higher than mine. That is one of the main reasons why I work. You never know what life will throw your way and I have seen plenty of people have the rug pulled out from underneath them.

[Philly Mom]

Yes I could but we would have to make adjustments as DH's salary is much higher than mine. That is one of the main reasons why I work. You never know what life will throw your way and I have seen plenty of people have the rug pulled out from underneath them.

:yeahthat: I agree with others that this really depends on what happens too. Disability would be much harder. In the meantime, DH and I are already thinking of ways to downsize our life. Moving would crucial for us.

[echoesofspring]

That is one of the main reasons why I work.You never know what life will throw your way and I have seen plenty of people have the rug pulled out from underneath them.

Ain't this the truth. We could get by with lifestyle/location changes on my current work (freelancing) but part of why I'm job hunting right now is exactly to be in a better position in case something happened to DH. Or even if he wanted to change careers, which he talks about on occasion, it'd be nice to be in a better position to support that uncertainty.

[DualvansMommy]

I don't work full time, but if DH died I would still sell my home and move to a home with smaller footprint (ie 3 bedroom townhome) as I wouldn't want to maintain an acre of land by myself! Plus property taxes would be bit lower if I were to live in a townhome too. I'll invest the life insurance and live off it for a while along with a part time job until DS2 is in school full time before switching to full time occupation.

Disability-definately downsize and move south or PA as wouldn't be able to afford property taxes here. Divorce, I'd move as a big change but would be ok with spousal and child support and my part time job.


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[elephantmeg]

yes and no. Yes if death of a spouse because we have life insurance that would cover mortgage + 6 months of living expenses. With no mortgage I would be fine if my family/IL helped some with child care which I am sure they would. Divorce? Probably. DH would pay child support and it would be OK I think. It would be OK even without but tight.

[aa2mama]

It isn't a straight yes/no question for me either. If there was any chance in our life circumstances, I would plan to sell our current house and move. If it was due to divorce, it would be because neither of us could afford our house on one income. If it was due to disability or death, it would be because the house and surrounding two acres would be too much to maintain on my own.

I previously supported myself and two children financially when my first marriage ended in divorce. The kids and I lived the cheapest apartment I could find in their school district. They shared a bedroom, and I drove a ten-year old vehicle with high miles that I owned outright. Finances were tight, but we made it. The kids remember those days fondly and sometimes even ask me if we can move back into our apartment.

[scrooks]

Like others have said if I moved from full time to part time ( would be very easy for me). Our daycare situation would need to change and we would see a reduction in lifestyle (we would still be fine). But I know it would be doable.

[Pyrodjm]

I could support my family including DH if for some reason he couldn't earn income. We'd have to cut back on extras and I might take on more hours to keep us comfortable but we'd be fine.

[trcy]

My paycheck covers childcare and health insurance with very little left over. The main reason I work is for health insurance...DH's benefits are aweful! If I didn't have to pay for daycare I might be able to make it, but it wouldn't be pretty.

[bnme]

Yes. We would likely have to make some changes, but we'd be OK. We have life insurance so we would be fine in that situation. Not a ton, but enough. I would probably still make changes to stretch/use that money differently (not just income replacement). I work .60 effort so I would increase to fulltime as well.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Yes, we'd be ok. I'd have more trouble adjusting to the lack of a partner with childcare responsibilities than financially.
:yeahthat:
Yep, this. The loss of someone to share the childcare/household responsibilities would be the hugest blow for me.

Financially we'd be ok...we have life insurance and disability insurance as well. Even if something outside that (divorce, DH unemployed, whatever) I can technically afford our current house with my income alone. New house is more $$$ and i'd be a stretch now with 2 kids in daycare but once kids start public school it would be doable...at least for a while until we wanted to downsize or whatever.

as pp said, the financial concern isn't too big of a concern for me, it would be the single-parenting aspect ..being the only one avialable to care for sick kid, pickup/dropoff kids, etc. i am always in awe of single parents and how they manage evertyhing, especially with multiple children.

[hellokitty]

Just barely, if it was JUST my salary and nothing else, I'd most likely qualify for some assistance since I have 3 kids. We'd be cutting it really close to make ends meet. I work in non-profit, and am not in a supervisory position. If I were in a supervisory position, I'd be sitting in a better situation. Now, assuming I had child support from a divorce, I would be ok, but still might have to downsize the house. If I had life insurance if it was due to spousal death, I would be actually sitting pretty. Sounds bad, but that's the truth. I know someone whose husband died of cancer and unfortunately they struggled financially when he was alive, but he left her with good life insurance, she was financially better off as a widow than she was when her husband was alive. My DH makes almost 3x more than I do, so yes, he is the main breadwinner. I have the potential to keep moving up and furthering my career, but I spent 10 yrs as a sahm, so I am almost starting over again in my career. Oh and I am a huge believer of disability insurance. I watched a family member who would have been SOL after a serious car accident, where he was not able to work for over six months, survive financially, due to disability insurance. So, both dh and I have disability insurance, I actually feel that it is more important than life insurance, in some ways.

[sunnyside]

I'm single so it better!!

[kdeunc]

I work 30 hours a week in a nonprofit. If the question is would my salary support us, absolutely not. DH makes over 5 times what I do. He has a disability policy and we both have life insurance. In case of death either of us would be fine financially.

[icunurse]

Yes. I would have to work full-time, but I/we would be fine. When DH and I bought our home, we planned it so we could live off of one salary. When he was laid off, we did just that without much difficulty. Working full-time, I would need extra child care for the next few years, but I imagine that I would get some level of child support, so not much would change as far as housing, extracurriculars, etc. We have a good amount of life insurance, so we would be okay then, too. Disability would potentially be an issue if the bills were more than my job could cover, but I think we would manage.

[ZeeBaby]

We could live on my salary, but like everyone else said, the situations would be very different. Death, we would have insurance to cover paying off the house. The girls and I could then live on my salary. Divorce, DH and I have already discussed if we ever separated we would co-parent and support each other. Disability would definitely be the hardest. We don't have disability insurance. Our state has some limited coverage and we have savings so we would survive but it would be challenging.

[TwinFoxes]

I don't think this is a yes/no poll.



I totally agree. If DH was abducted by aliens, I'd beg for a FT job at my old employer, and we'd be good if I got it immediately. Or I would rent out our basement to a grad student, sell my boots, cut cable, work at Trader Joe's and raise my kids in a loving household. Either way, life would change. But what's the alternative really?

[alexsmommy]

I'd need to move from 3 days to 5 days, and probably downsize or move to somewhere with lower taxes, but I could do it.

[klwa]

Yes, but we'd need to tighten our belts.

[AnnieW625]

I am somewhere between yes, and mayonnaise. When DH and I bought our house we got eachother a 20 yr. term life policy that would cover the cost of our mortgage if one of us died. If one of us died today we could pay off the house and still have a little extra that we would split half way between to the two girls and add to their college fund; or we could just contine to use the money monthly to continue to pay down the mortgage. If I were to lose DH though I think I would probably sell our house and move closer to relatives in Nor Cal where it is slightly cheaper housing wise to live. I would continue to work either way, as woukd DH. DH would be a little better off because he has a higher income, but I really think he would also entertain the idea of moving closer to our relatives in Nor Cal as well.

[american_mama]

Wow, I only read page 1 of the replies and people seem amazingly chipper about things. Granted, I am a pessimist and maybe that basic outlook influences how some of us answer this question, but for me, it's a no to all situations. I work 3 days a week with no benefits after 12 years as a SAHM. I could not support my family in the case of death, disability or divorce, unless divorce was very financially friendly to me. I've never not been able to pay for my life, either solo in the past and jointly with DH, and I am very good at making things work financially, so I assume I would find a way to support my kids. But we would have to make many changes.

I also said to DH last week that I think he'd be up a creek if *I* died. I do not have any life insurnace (and yes, I know at home spouses need it too to replace their unpaid labor). He earns a good salary, but think him doing money management, child care and especially summer child care (most expensive and when his salary is the lowest) would be quite difficult.

Eta: If financial security is your only criteria, many common choices make no sense at all. Working part-time instead of full-time, or being a SAHM, make poor financial sense, especially in the long term. Pursuing an education, especially a lengthy graduate education, means the double whammy of postponed income/incurred debt when you could be earning at a job, sometimes a well-paid one, years earlier. You could work in a more lucrative field or career, buy a cheaper house, live in a cheaper area, drive an older car, pay for more insurance but have less monthly cash, etc. etc. etc. It's especially hard to know what weight to give to a remote, albeit serious, financial risk like death or disability. For me, risk avoidance is not the main thing that has determined my employment choices.

[rlu]

Already do. If it was just DS and I we would be living elsewhere but still near my folks.