Kids who potty train really late...

[amom526]

Ds1 is a few months past 4 and has no interest in going on the toilet. He has just recently agreed to start sitting on the toilet with a diaper on, but has never gone beyond that. We have been really low key about the whole thing, and I just assumed he would do it when he is ready. But how long do I wait? He has a very rigid personality, and avoids change etc. so I'm really not sure he is going to do this on his own. I need him to be potty trained by this September, and I basically plan to just take away his diapers in June if he's still not potty trained. But this seems cruel!! If you had a child who was late to potty train, did they do it on their own? I'm wondering if I need to start looking for some type of professional to guide me...

[bisous]

My DS1 had no interest in training. I joke he'd still be in diapers if I didn't put my foot down. Sometimes boys just don't care! I have now trained 3 boys and I recently used the "3 day potty training" method and I did like it a lot. The basic idea is that you do throw away the diapers and put the child in underwear. You help them learn the signs of when to go. You let them tell you that they need to go to the potty (but rush them to the bathroom mid accident). You use lots of praise and just keep at it. I must say, it took DS3 more than 3 days--but not many more. And he's VERY difficult. I would look into a program like that and I'd do it right away. I think your DS1 will be successful.

[PZMommy]

My DS is very stubborn and hates change. I knew if we waited for him to be ready, he'd be going off to college in diapers. We finally had to push him. All weekend we talked about how he was a big boy and now he would wear big boy underwear. We literally went cold turkey. Put him in underwear and pants Monday morning. He had accidents Monday morning, and each time we took him to the bathroom, helped clean him up, and remind him about the potty. That afternoon he went pee on the potty and that was it. In the three weeks since he has had one accident. It just took him one day, and one time of going on the potty to figure it out. He was 3 1/2.

Edited to add he still wears a pull up at bedtime, as he is such a sound sleeper, but nap time is okay for underwear. I think this goes against some of the potty training books, but I can't be changing sheets several times a night.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Mine was almost 4 (2-3 months shy). We'd had an unsuccessful attempt at the 3.5 month mark so just backed totally off. I made occasional mentions but no major discussions of attempts. One day, I offhand mentioned a new toy if he pt'ed- and he decided to just do it. Day he decided, he succeeded and never looked back! No diapers day or night. It was amazing!
With ds2, we just went cold turkey when he was younger. It took almost 6 days for him to get it. He totally didn't care about accidents but was willing to sit and try. Finally, it just clicked. He had some accidents along the way but I'm glad we stuck it out.

[123LuckyMom]

Mine was 3.5. I used my cousin's visit to spur him on, because he didn't care if he stayed in diapers forever. My cousin has twin boys who were 12 at the time. Of course DS idolizes his older cousins, so we used them to our advantage. We went to the store together, and everyone got to choose new undies (even though we had a drawer full at home.) We had lots of activities planned, but we just made sure everyone (big cousins and little cousins) used the potty before leaving the house, and we brought a little potty with us in the minivan to use every two hours. We watched the Once Upon A Potty video together. Within a couple of days DS was accident free. We kept using a pull-up at night, but within a week, it was always dry, so we ditched it pretty soon. The best thing about waiting until your child is older is that they really get it very quickly. Don't assume it will just happen, though. Sometimes you really do need to pick a date and insist that it's time to ditch the diapers!

[meggie t]

We were also late to PT'ing DS. He wasn't interested at all and I didn't need him to be PT'ed for nursery school so there was no pressure. Finally, over Christmas break, at the age of 4.5 (!) we did it. We have a reward (one Thomas train for pee, 1 for poop and another for all done). He picked out underwear, etc. First day, lots of accidents (about 4-5). Next day, very small amt once and that was it for pee. Poop he regressed a week later and it took him another week to go on the toilet for poop. But since then, not accidents or anything. It was pretty easy. As for nighttime, we still used a pull-up but it was always dry. About a week ago, he said no more pull-ups. That was that!

So, I think a June timeline is perfect for a September deadline. Gives you enough time if there is pushback but I would just persevere.

[azzeps]

In June, I'd just say, "ok, time for you to use the potty" and take away the diapers. Let him go naked from the waist down if you can, and keep a potty near where he plays. Best of luck to you... it's hard no matter when you do it!

[mikeys_mom]

My twins were 3.5 years old and not showing any signs of wanting to get out of diapers. I was *done* with changing them. I followed the 3-day method and it worked really well for us. By day 3 we could leave the house for short spurts, confident that we wouldn't have an accident. By day 5 or 6 they were fully pee-trained. Took one of my girls a bit longer with poop - maybe even a month, but we stuck it out and eventually she got it. For a while I toted around a potty in the car because that's all she would use. Also, they trained day and night at the same time. Never used pull-ups.

I would also start in June if I were you. That's when we did it. Weather was nice and so much easier with fewer layers of clothes.

[Mommaof3]

My son started asking to go #2 on the potty a few months after he turned 3 but had no interest in # 1. Finally when he was 3.5 I put him into underwear and he was trained in a few days.

[Mikey0709]

We were well after age 4 with 2 of our boys, and another one trained himself at age 3.... you just never know.

On the last one i just had to find a weekend and we went full force. Not naked, but underwear. I won't say it wasn't hard, he didn't even want to SIT on the toilet. We never used potties, just the toilet ring seat (Bjorn toilet trainer) and a step stool. By day 3 he was doing it himself. We may have been late - but i can count the accident TOTAL on one hand.

[mackmama]

DC pt'd at age 3.5yo (still wears diapers overnight at 4yo). We tried to do it earlier without success so I backed completely off. DC is also rigid and doesn't like change, and I realized DC would not instigate it - and we were also looking at a deadline for school. So, I started talking about a big party that was going to happen when DC started to wear undies. DC likes parties and got all excited. I invited DC's cousins over, had cake, had a bag where DC ceremoniously threw out diapers (which I thought might backfire on us since the dipes would still be used at bedtime, but luckily it was ok). Also - I had played other PT videos, but none were as effective as the Potty Power video (thanks for the rec, giantbear!). DC still sings the song. Hang in there - it WILL happen!

ETA- I also started a sticker chart (which we had started before with stickers - and them M+M's - but didn't work). This time, I made the end a big prize that DC wanted... a scooter. It really seemed to work. After training, DC and I framed the sticker chart, and it hung in the bathroom for months until DC was ready to take it down.

[megs4413]

Does your son have any underlying issues that would come into play here? Constipation? ASD? Etc. I ask just so that I don't give advice that totally doesn't apply to your unique situation....

If your son doesn't have any known underlying issues....

Is he showing any readiness signs physically? Like waking up dry from a nap or like running off to hide before pooping. If he doesn't have bladder control training will be fruitless, so it's important to know that his BODY is ready.

If he's a typically developing kid AND his body is ready....IMO, it's time to just bootcamp it. You might want to wait until it's warm enough outside to let him be nakey in the yard while you train. You just take the diapers away and go from there. Good luck!

[amom526]

Does your son have any underlying issues that would come into play here? Constipation? ASD? Etc. I ask just so that I don't give advice that totally doesn't apply to your unique situation....

If your son doesn't have any known underlying issues....

Is he showing any readiness signs physically? Like waking up dry from a nap or like running off to hide before pooping. If he doesn't have bladder control training will be fruitless, so it's important to know that his BODY is ready.

If he's a typically developing kid AND his body is ready....IMO, it's time to just bootcamp it. You might want to wait until it's warm enough outside to let him be nakey in the yard while you train. You just take the diapers away and go from there. Good luck!

Thanks everyone! your comments have been very helpful. He has a few days off in May, so I may try then, or will wait till June.

Megs - he does have constipation issues, which I know is going to complicate things. But I know he has control over his bowels, because he only likes to poop in certain places/never goes at school etc. He also has some motor planning issues, so I wonder if it will be harder for his muscles to learn what they need to do. That's why I'm nervous starting in June may be too late.

[PZMommy]

My DS that I referred to in my previous post has low muscle tone, motor planning issues and some health issues, and he did just fine. I was really worried about that, but it really didn't affect him other than waiting so long to start on my part.