Potty training

[megs4413]

Long story short, the pediatrician says we need to PT DD2 (18 mos) and we need to do it asap. Any tips? She is dry overnight occasionally so I know she has some capacity....her language skills are good as well so she can tell me she needs to go and has on occasion. She seems awfully little for this, though, and I've never done this under pressure like we are now. She has to train. Any tips?

[hbridge]

Umm, I don't think you can rush this! What did the pediatrician say about how to make this happen?

If there is a medical reason why you need to do this, than you need to find a children's hospital (or someone to help you). 18 months is much too young to expect potty training...

[megs4413]

She's withholding her poop leading to really, really serious constipation. It just started two weeks ago and it's awful.

[JBaxter]

My oldest was 2 and my nieces were 20 months but they wanted to. Will she drink diluted prune juice? I did prune/ apple with mine helped keep things going smooth. Mine liked plums and cooked prunes ( you simmer them until they puff back up )

[PZMommy]

I would think potty training could make it worse. Both of my boys took awhile to figure out how to poop on the potty during training, and held it for awhile. My oldest actually continued to poop in a pull up for about 8 months after being pee trained. My youngest only took about two weeks to poop on the potty after being pee trained.

Personally I would be in no rush to potty train her if she isn't ready. When she is ready you will be able to train her in a matter of days fairly painlessly. If you have to force her it will be a long battle.

[wellyes]

I think the pressure to do on an unfamiliar potty what she won't do in a diaper can't possibly help.

[Simon]

My first 2 boys trained by 18 and 19 mo, no problem. Ds1 would only poop on the potty from a very young age (before he was 1yo) and would otherwise withhold. I suggest you do a google search for "elimination communication" since they give the best advice, IMO, for PT-ing younger toddlers. Also, I think its important to use a little potty and not just a toilet insert so she has support for her feet/legs while she is pushing.

I would begin by offering the potty very regularly and make it fun. Every time you would usually change a diaper, offer the potty instead. We used transitions to insert using the potty into our daily routine: right after waking up in the morning, after breakfast and before getting dressed, before leaving the house, before am snack, before lunch, before/after nap, before dinner, before bath and before bedtime). The potty was out and available in the bathroom at all times. Make potty time fun--read books, watch tv, sing songs together, etc.. I have been known to put a little potty in front of the tv if I have a kid that I know needs to poop to encourage sitting longer.
If you offer consistently, then you will likely see the idea click within about 2 weeks, possibly sooner. The easiest times to experience success are just after waking up (am or naptimes). Offer praise and encouragement. We didn't use rewards at those ages other than hugs, kisses, high-fives. That was enough motivation for our kids. If you have other questions feel free to PM me.

[amldaley]

I think the pressure to do on an unfamiliar potty what she won't do in a diaper can't possibly help.

Absolutely correct.

I don't post here that often any more but I had to respond to this.

Get a new pediatrician.

A two week bout of constipation is NOT a reason to prematurely force potty training. Toddler constipation is COMMON. There are many remedies for it.

My now 6.5 yo has a DX'd bladder and bowel disorder. One contributing factors is believed to be forcing potty training too early. (She was in a full time daycare that *required* potty training start immediately on their 2nd birthday).

Please, please, please take the time to research this and get a second opinion. I would give almost anything to go back and do things differently.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2176253/Its-accident-Doctor-says-early-toilet-training-HARM-potty-prodigies-shouldnt-attempted-age-three.html

https://www.facebook.com/itsnoaccident

Feel free to PM me for more info.

[trales]

My oldest had severe constipation, potty training would have never changed the problem. In fact she PT'ed on her own by 2 and the problem lasted until she was 5. The problem was physical and it took miralax and a change in diet to and time for her to grow and her body to mature and time for the muscles to begin to work in a synchronized fashion for the constipation to end. You may not need a new pediatrician, but his is a really, really extreme treatment for a common problem without having a certain identification of the root cause. It has only been 2 weeks. If you child was 1 and had this issue, would the pedi want you to potty train. Ask for a GI referral first, I think you need a second opinion. Sure you can try to potty train, but if it stresses the kid out, it will only make things works. Can kids potty train at 18 months, sure. Can kids be successful under dire pressure to potty train, maybe. Will this solve your problem, maybe. Will this be stressful for you and your kid, hell Yes. Are there other options, yes.

[trcy]

Absolutely correct.

I don't post here that often any more but I had to respond to this.

Get a new pediatrician.

A two week bout of constipation is NOT a reason to prematurely force potty training. Toddler constipation is COMMON. There are many remedies for it.

Please, please, please take the time to research this and get a second opinion.
ITA, I don't see how potty training will help with withholding. I can't count the number post I have read here about children withholding BMs when potty training. If she won't poop in her diaper, what makes your ped think she will poop on the potty?

[mackmama]

I agree with PPs. I think trying to PTing now will worsen the issue. I would try miralax and consult with a different pedi or specialist. I'm not doubting the seriousness of the issue, as I know constipation can turn serious quickly and cause a lot of problems (we dealt with it recently too), but I think you should try miralax and a change in diet first. I just think the pressure to PT especially when there's already a constipation issue will just make things worse and mix up your DC.

[AngB]

What everyone else said.

I used to work with 2 year olds in daycare/child development center. I can think of at least 5 kids out of about 30ish that had issues (some pretty serious) from withholding BM's when potty training started. This takes the cake for some of the worst advice I've seen from a pediatrician.

[amom526]

Most of the research shows that potty training before a child is ready only worstens constipation, especially in kids who withhold. We have specifically pushed off potty draining ds1 while trying to resolve the constipation issue. This is really disturbing advice from a pediatrician, can you call to clarify?

[Green_Tea]

Can you tell us more about why the pediatrician thinks PTing will help? I agree with many of the PPs that PTing can make the situation much, much worse. My DS withheld poop, and it started during PTing. It was a nightmare, and in hindsight I should have just left him in diapers. Does your ped think the diapers are somehow causing the constipation?

[JBaxter]

I misunderstood your post I thought you had to potty train her for a medical reason and then she with held poop. I've never heard of potty training because she was with holding. I'd make sure she doesn't have a medical reason for her constipation but I'm with the others on forcing potty training IMO that makes it worse.

[TxCat]

Can you tell us more about why the pediatrician thinks PTing will help? I agree with many of the PPs that PTing can make the situation much, much worse. My DS withheld poop, and it started during PTing. It was a nightmare, and in hindsight I should have just left him in diapers. Does your ped think the diapers are somehow causing the constipation?

I agree with this, and with the suggestions to seek a second opinion. Add me to the chorus of people who saw more difficulty with BMs and withholding AFTER starting potty training. Is there a contraindication to using Miralax for your child? All of the pediatricians that I know and work with completely agree that PTing is a developmental stage, and either a child is ready or at least receptive to it, or they are not. Even if you can PT now for urination, I'm not sure that you will be successful for BMs.

[azzeps]

If you decide to try to PT, the only approach I'd consider is the naked from the waist down, and put a potty in the room she is in the most and leave it at that. I'd be concerned that any hint of pressure or anxiety over the potty would be picked up on, and would make the problem worse, not better. Even if you do try PTing, I think you'd still want to try to address the constipation issue anyhow. I bet there are lots of suggestions here on how to deal with that. Anyway, sorry that you're in a pickle! I hope you get it worked out soon!

[Liziz]

I agree with everyone else that it's not smart to rush into or push potty training at all. However, as that's all been said by a lot of posters, I just thought I'd share what we were doing with DD at 18 months -- around that time, we got a little potty and put it in the bathroom. Whenever DD was interested (usually when I was going, of course), we helped her take off her diaper and sit on it. She did pee a couple times and we'd make a big deal about it, celebrate, etc. -- but most of the time she didn't, and we just let her get up as soon as she wanted. We never prompted or told her to sit on the potty -- it was only at her choice. Sometimes she'd do it multiple times a day, sometimes she'd go a week without looking at it. It wasn't until she was over 2 that she started to have more consistent interest in it, and we got her undies and really started working on potty training. But there's no way she was actually ready at 18 months and I think it would have gone poorly if we'd pushed it.

ETA: oh, but I also don't equate potty training with "pooping on potty right away" -- DD was consistently peeing on the potty for quite awhile before she would poop on the potty. We luckily didn't have problems with her withholding, but I think that was only because we didn't push the issue AT ALL -- we'd see her start to poop, ask her if she wanted to sit on the potty -- she'd say "no" or run away from us, so we'd let her poop in her diaper. She was terrified to poop on the potty for quite awhile. She came around on her own after a few months, but it took time.

[SoCalMommy]

I think the pressure to do on an unfamiliar potty what she won't do in a diaper can't possibly help.

:yeahthat: