PDA

View Full Version : I am waiting for next 5 weeks to be over



Myira
07-16-2015, 12:49 PM
My in-laws are over from India to stay with us, since May end. They leave August 20th and now I just am struggling to keep my sanity intact! Looks like a month and half is all I can take of their presence.

It's nothing specific although there are many minor annoyances. I just don't get any time alone with DH or the kids. I am tired of having an audience and playing a role! I do not look forward to heading home after work, and if not for the kids and would run for the hills.

On weekends, they accompany us to every outing and I have not been able to exclude them without it becoming a big deal. Plus DH want them to tag along everywhere even when I begged last weekend for one outing on our own.

Any suggestions what I could do? I have contemplated running away in my daydreams! I feel I am mildly depressed.
I am hoping I don't end up loony by the time this is over.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

SnuggleBuggles
07-16-2015, 12:58 PM
Can you smuggle one kid out at a time? Like keys in hand, shoes on, beckon a kiddo to come join you on an errand. Go grab a few groceries then maybe some ice cream or anything to eat up time. Gets you out, gets you sone quality time with a kiddo and, from experience, I've found if you're quick and ready that no one can join you before you've made it to the car. :)

georgiegirl
07-16-2015, 01:27 PM
Oops! Just realized this was BP. I totally feel for you since my in-laws used to live in another country and they would stay 1-2 months with us and I would be crazy by the time they left.

Here's my advice, that I wrote before realizing this was in thnBP. which you should feel free to disregard:

I would have an honest discussion with your DH and tell him you need a family outing without them in order to maintain your sanity. It is completely reasonable to request some time without them. If there were only there a week, I'd say suck it up. But three months is waaaaay to long. Can they babysit the kids while you and DH get a date night? Or at least can you get out yourself and have your ILs and DH watch the kids?

Chitowngirl
07-16-2015, 02:21 PM
I totally feel for you. We had my husband's relatives for 5 weeks which I thought was much too long. I felt EXACTLY like you did. I would find myself staying at work after everyone else left just cause I needed some time to myself. More than once I went through the drive through at bask in robins and ate ice cream alone in my car!

My husband definitely needs less "me time" than I do and any complaining I did wasn't responded to very sympathetically. I just had to tough it out which I know is harder for you since it's such a long time. No advice, just hugs...

Myira
07-16-2015, 02:25 PM
Thanks georgiegirl and snugglebuggles for just validating me! And your suggestions are most welcome. Yeah, I am totally going to start taking DD and/or DS out impromptu, the 3 of us went to the library the other evening and I felt so much better.

This weekend I'm totally going with the kids somewhere if DH wants to stay home with his parents so be it(I'm done trying to bend over backwards when they don't see the need to give me some space).


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

karin4
07-16-2015, 02:43 PM
I'd be mildly depressed too, honestly. Would it be possible to take a day off work, and tell nobody? Just get ready in the morning and leave as usual, and then do whatever will recharge you. Shop, meet a friend for lunch, just sit in a park and read-- whatever. I know that wouldn't be an option at every workplace, but at this time of year, I could decide to take a vacation day with little warning and that's exactly what I'd do. If you can't do that, I'd just carve out small bits of time where I could-- like Chitowngirl, take an hour after work to get yourself ice cream or coffee or just read in the car before coming home. Or leave the house with keys in hand to run to the grocery store, and then do the same.

You're a trooper! Hang in there.

StantonHyde
07-16-2015, 05:16 PM
This would drive me bat s%^t crazy!!!! I really need alone time. And I would totally want to have date nights with my husband--heck even walk around the block with just the two of us. I would be depressed, too. It is totally time for you to figure out how to "jump ship" by yourself before you go completely looney!!!!

Can (s@Can) you go out for a walk by yourself? Do you have a dog that needs walked? Weed the garden? Can you just sit outside by yourself? I really like everybody's "sneak out quickly" ideas. And I would have no problem just driving around after work--or going to a coffee shop or something--for an hour after work. I love the playing hookey idea--that would be awesome!

♥ms.pacman♥
07-16-2015, 07:21 PM
This would drive me bat s%^t crazy!!!! I really need alone time. And I would totally want to have date nights with my husband--heck even walk around the block with just the two of us. I would be depressed, too.


:yeahthat:
You are a saint ...3 months is a LONG TIME. And yes, I get the feeling. Alone time (Even "alone" time as a family, or just alone time with DH) is PRECIOUS. It's hard when you cannot fully relax in your own home..and you feel bad for feeling this way bc they're family, and don't do anything wrong per se. I love my in-laws dearly, and my own parents as well, and they both help A TON around the house but I would go nuts if they ever had to stay over in our house for longer than a week or two. And yes, totally know what you mean about not wanting an audience all the time..you just want to be able to come home from work and just "check out", snap at the kids, deal with their melt-downs and not worry about someone judging you. Sometimes that's why it's easier when DH is not around and I'm with the kids. ..don't have to worry about anyone judging me if i let them do this or that, or whatever.

Growing up my parents would have my grandmother stay over for 6mons-1 year or so (from out of the country) and as kids it was sort of cool, but now, as a parent I wonder how my parents did not end up divorced (ha) or my dad didn't go insane. It is stressful.

I would totally take a day off work like PP suggested.