PLEASE help sibling (twin) clothes organization

[Melaine]

So my identical twin girls are almost 9.

Much to our chagrin we are still in our first home which is about 1400 sq. ft. We have limited closet space/storage.

We homeschool, so that means more stuff, close quarters, more time spent at home, more time together.

DDs are really struggling with conflict with each other. When we are not at home, their conflicts are fairly minimal. 95% of our issues happen because of sharing a space, items that are communal or shared, doubles that might not be kept separate and clothes whose ownership can't be pinpointed. Also, I am frightened to say I am seeing signs of impending adolescence, increased worries about appearance, clothing etc.

One of my daughters is particularly perfectionist and we also have some anxiety issues with both of them. DH and I are brainstorming (again) on how we can limit conflict with the shared space.

I am open to any and all ideas. It's a small room, they have to share. No getting around it. Also, we can't afford to just buy a bunch of cool stuff to sort and organize, unfortunately money is as tight as the space.

So my plans so far:
Pull out all clothes: give away too small, too worn. Sort all items by owner. Label EVERYTHING with stickers or sharpies. Two different hampers. Laundry will be washed separately. All shoes labeled, two different spots for shoes. Possibly drawers?
Purge unneeded items. There are a couple categories particularly: hair items/jewelry and books that are really in need of purging. Other than that, we keep it fairly minimal as we have done a lot of purging already.

I'm interested in setting out outfits a week in advance but I'm not convinced that this will work well given our erratic weather. I'm seriously at my wit's end with the bickering over clothes. PLEASE help!!!!

[daisysmom]

I grew up with two sisters in a 1,200 sq foot house and one brother. I always shared a room, and often shared clothes, until I went to college. You said "When we are not at home, their conflicts are fairly minimal." Instead of changing things at the house and in the room, is stopping homeschooling an option -- meaning, are you finding that their needs may be better met in separate classes at a school? Or if not that, how about separate outside activities for afterschool? My DD is in the 3rd grade and we see that the twins are now consistently separated at her school. They don't have joint birthday parties either (which were the norm in K and 1). We find that they do separate playdates and activites too.

[Melaine]

I grew up with two sisters in a 1,200 sq foot house and one brother. I always shared a room, and often shared clothes, until I went to college. You said "When we are not at home, their conflicts are fairly minimal." Instead of changing things at the house and in the room, is stopping homeschooling an option -- meaning, are you finding that their needs may be better met in separate classes at a school? Or if not that, how about separate outside activities for afterschool? My DD is in the 3rd grade and we see that the twins are now consistently separated at her school. They don't have joint birthday parties either (which were the norm in K and 1). We find that they do separate playdates and activites too.

I grew up with two brothers and a sister and I always shared a room too. I was actually homeschooled as well ;-)
Twins are different from other siblings. Girl/Girl twins are different from boy/girl twins and identical girl/girl twins take it to a new level. I honestly don't think someone who hasn't experienced twins can understand. (I don't blame you for not understanding....it's just comparing apples and oranges to talk about siblings and twins.) Very different dynamic.

Obviously, we have discussed the pros and cons and we will continue to homeschool at this time. I am not going to change the path of their education because they can’t decide whose jeans are whose. My post is in cleansweep because I am looking for organizational ideas.

[petesgirl]

Well, no experience with twins... But on the organizational front, the ideas you posted are where I would start. Definitely get rid of unused items. And definitely label every. Single. Thing to help with the arguing. Is it possible for each to have separate clothing/ toy storage also. Even if it's one shared closet, split the space and designate an area for each.

[mikala]

Re: the sorting and organizing purchases, I've found a bunch of bins and things like over the door shoe racks at the dollar store. I've also covered cardboard boxes in pretty wrapping paper layered with contact paper for higher use areas in closets. It takes a bit of time but is very low cost. If you find you do need more bins and such it's definitely do-able on a tight budget. Our Target also has a bunch of back to college dorm organization on sale for 50% or more off.

[belovedgandp]

I just have boys in similar sizes but just to free up my headache since they owned many of the same t-shirts and such, we did separate laundry baskets and never mixed those two with anyone else. I'd throw DH's stuff in but that was easy to sort out.

Same for shoes, I had metal beverage tubs and your shoes needed to go in your tub.

Biggest thing was always putting things away in the moment.

[JenChem]

For shoes I love these low profile ikea storage boxes: http://m.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/art/30256424/
http://m.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/art/90178174/
http://m.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/art/90248426/

[Green_Tea]

I don't have twins, but do have two daughters who are one grade apart, they share a room, and our house is even smaller than yours :).

Two dressers, physical closet dividers, label all clothes with names. I stopped buying matching (or even coordinating) clothes as soon as they were old enough to express an opinion about what they wanted to wear. Sometimes they DO choose the same things when we shop, and that's cool, too. I think your other ideas are good ones.

At age 9, they can be individually responsible for their daily outfit choices without adult input. I wouldn't go crazy with outfit planning.

I think that as twins AND close-in age siblings get older, they do start to want to differentiate themselves. I realize that twins have lots of their own idiosyncrasies, but I wouldn't be quick to throw out the advice that some time apart from each other would be healthy for them. My girls really like each other a whole lot more when they get breaks from each other. You might find that encouraging your girls to explore different interests might make them more likely to cooperate at home.

[Aishe]

Re: the sorting and organizing purchases, I've found a bunch of bins and things like over the door shoe racks at the dollar store. I've also covered cardboard boxes in pretty wrapping paper layered with contact paper for higher use areas in closets. It takes a bit of time but is very low cost. If you find you do need more bins and such it's definitely do-able on a tight budget. Our Target also has a bunch of back to college dorm organization on sale for 50% or more off.

I second the rec to check out dollar stores. The Dollar Tree has some great bins and other storage containers in cute colors. I'm thinking you could color code everything (i.e. get one dd all green bins and the other all blue bins) to help keep things separate. Then you could label clothes with just a dot in the same color.

This blogger/vlogger has great tips for using Dollar Tree containers for organization.
http://www.doitonadimeblog.com

[KrisM]

I thought this was a nice idea for picking out clothes for the week: http://herewegoajen.com/organizing-school-clothes-for-every-day-of-the-week/
Gives them a spot to stick pajamas in the mornings too.

ETA: A friend just posted this type of thing on FB tonight. Weird. Anyhow, she says it works well for them. Her kids are 1, 3, 5, 7. She fills the drawers for the youngest 3 (all boys) and she and the 7 year old girl do it together. She says sometimes her daughter swaps from a drawer and wears Wednesdays clothes on Monday or whatever. She is fine with any of that, as long as it's still weather appropriate and gym day appropriate.

[KrisM]

I know I don't have twins, so I get that I can't understand them. But, DD has friends who are identical 9 year old girl twins. One has short hair and one has long. One plays basketball and one plays soccer. Both do Girl Scouts. DD knows them both from scouts, but is only really friends with one, because they are different and don't have identical personalities. Now maybe your twins do have very similar personalities and interests, but I don't think offering them different things is that crazy of an idea. Maybe that would help them get along better at home.

[daisysmom]

I grew up with two brothers and a sister and I always shared a room too. I was actually homeschooled as well ;-)
Twins are different from other siblings. Girl/Girl twins are different from boy/girl twins and identical girl/girl twins take it to a new level. I honestly don't think someone who hasn't experienced twins can understand. (I don't blame you for not understanding....it's just comparing apples and oranges to talk about siblings and twins.) Very different dynamic.

Obviously, we have discussed the pros and cons and we will continue to homeschool at this time. I am not going to change the path of their education because they can’t decide whose jeans are whose. My post is in cleansweep because I am looking for organizational ideas.

Sorry, I didn't see where your list was listed in tap a talk. I am a little surprised that "someone who doesn't have twins can't understand" but good luck just the same. I don't know any 8 year olds whose mothers pick out their outfits tho, twins or not.

[Melaine]

Sorry, I didn't see where your list was listed in tap a talk. I am a little surprised that "someone who doesn't have twins can't understand" but good luck just the same. I don't know any 8 year olds whose mothers pick out their outfits tho, twins or not.

Thanks for the snark, be surprised all you want.

I never said I pick their clothes, I certainly do not. They choose their own outfits and I thought about letting them put them out ahead of time for the whole week. Because it sometimes takes too long for them to decide what they want to wear and it would eliminate morning conflict. Although we HS, we still leave the house early several days a week for activities.

Also, to clarify for pp, they do not dress identically and haven't for years. They sometimes prefer to both own the same outfit but rarely if ever end up wearing it at the same time. They still each want ownership of their own items but because of the many many items it is hard to keep everything straight in a small space.

thanks for the ideas guys!

[lovebebes]

another little idea from a mom of three girls...two of my girls (just turned 13 and 8) have shared a room since forever -until just last month, and the little one in our bedroom. We lived in much smaller spaces than anyone we knew with a family our size. Separating three girls' laundry would get really time consuming, as well just figuring out what belongs to who when getting dressed, cleaning up, etc. So what i always did is buy only gray socks for one, only beige for another, and say white for the third. Then i would do same with underwear- i would choose patterned hannas for one girl, plain for another, striped for third etc. Sounds a little obsessive but it was actually very helpful. And yes, Ikea has so many great organizational items and ideas, and it really helps to see them displayed in store if you have a chance, as opposed to just browsing their website.

[KrisM]

For labeling I'd do something fast and easy. A Sharpie dot of a different color per kid maybe?

And really limit the overall number of things they own. I do that and it still grows as there are shirts for school things, etc that always end up getting added. For fall/winter, DD has 5 dresses, 6 shirts, 5 skirts and 3 pairs of pants. She has leggings for under the dresses and skirts. I still think this is more than she needs, but it is what we have after hand me downs, and what still fits from last year. The boys each have about 9 shirts and 6 pairs of pants. I know some people who have 2-3 times as much for each kid. I find even when we end up with more, they were the same handful all the time.

[bisous]

I LOVE this kind of organizational/life balance kind of challenge. I also live in a small space (actually smaller and with more people). Can I help you plan your space/system? Can you post your floor plan and your furniture and I can send you a million pinterest posts? If this is obnoxious I apologize but I love the problem solving. I really think smart space organization and carving out ownership could help a lot. I like your ideas about sharpies and labeling and I think that good clothes systems will help give the girls peace about their ownership that will allow their relationship to improve.

[bisous]

For labeling I'd do something fast and easy. A Sharpie dot of a different color per kid maybe?

And really limit the overall number of things they own. I do that and it still grows as there are shirts for school things, etc that always end up getting added. For fall/winter, DD has 5 dresses, 6 shirts, 5 skirts and 3 pairs of pants. She has leggings for under the dresses and skirts. I still think this is more than she needs, but it is what we have after hand me downs, and what still fits from last year. The boys each have about 9 shirts and 6 pairs of pants. I know some people who have 2-3 times as much for each kid. I find even when we end up with more, they were the same handful all the time.

This is good advice!

[KpbS]

I was going to suggest just what Kris said! Have them each pick a sharpie color and buy 2 sharpies in those colors. Label every item you can (do they fight over socks too?) with dots of their respective colors. I would also buy two different colored hangers (Target has them in the back to school/college stock still) and they are responsible for hanging their items.

Do you have these closet hanging shelves that have different dividers all the way down? I bought some years ago and have used them for all sorts of clothing. You can also have them pick out 3 days worth of outfits, load them into the slots, and that should work to cut down on the time it takes to get dressed. They can load and reload twice a week and assuming their Sunday clothes are hanging clothes, that will take care of all of the picking out required.

I have something like this http://www.diapers.com/p/productname-9926?cookies_set=1, but you could easily use this http://www.target.com/p/8-shelf-closet-organizer/-/A-12227219#prodSlot=medium_1_10. I use one of these for my DD's tights, swimsuits, hats, etc.

You probably already have a system for which clothing pieces you need for them, eg. 2 fleeces, 5 undershirts/camis, 10 pair unders, 6 shirts, 3 skirts, 2 jeans, 2 pants, etc. I would make a list of what is needed seasonally and get rid of any extras or anything either girl will not wear. I remember getting pickier as I got older and no need to hang on to an item hoping SOMEONE will wear it one day!

Do they like to borrow from one another? I would encourage them once everything is labeled to set up a borrowing system with a little notebook to record who is borrowing what and which day. I think that would give them more control over the issue and they would actually enjoy it. :)

[KpbS]

For shoes, I have some mesh bins (you can use small, round, mesh pop up hampers) and again, different colors for each for their shoes. I like mesh so you can see the shoes and they are able to breathe (and not mildew) in the closets.

And hampers for their room/closet for dirty clothes too. This one comes in several colors--turquoise, hot pink, blue, etc. http://www.walmart.com/ip/Mainstays-Juvenile-2-BU-Flex-Hamper-Blue/46038708

[Melaine]

Thanks everyone for these suggestions. Last weekend we spent hours going through everything. We made some progress but I'd really like to keep improving the system. here are photos of what we have now.