♥ms.pacman♥
09-26-2015, 07:02 PM
i am 37 years old and i think the last time i ever had a weekend alone at home was maybe when i was 30 years old and was DH traveling for work..but that was before kids (read: blissfully ignorant) so it doesn't count :)
after a rather stressful summer (selling our house, building new house, living in temp housing, moving twice) plus DS starting school (and DD starting at a new daycare), i felt like i have been rather overwhelmed, tired, and pretty much living and breathing for the weekends. so i told DH i didn't want to go to the ILs this weekend (6+ hr drive away) bc it would just be too much for me. He said ok but I could tell he was a bit bummed and he really wanted me to go. at first, all day yesterday at work i started feeling super guilty about not going, especially bc that morning the kids kept asking why i wasn't going with them and seemed sad at first. i don't travel for work really and the kids have never gone on a trip without both of us there so it was strange to them. and also the trip was to go to my nieces' bday party so i felt like i was being selfish and skimping out on family obligations. however, i honestly felt so exhausted and the last thing i wanted to do this weekend was spend 12+ hrs in a car, eat fast food the entire time, and deal with overstimulated kids and come home to an empty fridge and have like 2 hours to unpack, and do the 5,349 chores/errands we have to cram in before the week starts. plus i would have had to find time in there to make up a few hours of work that i would have to miss for leaving early on Friday.
however, later yesterday i got caught up with work stuff/meetings which was good bc i didn't have to worry about rushing home early. i went to happy hour with coworkers (and had a great time, not worrying about rushing home or whatever). cleaned the house. went to yoga class. went running. did laundry. went grocery shopping and now i'm off to cook several paleo meals from scratch. yes, i kinda miss the kids, but wow, this is pretty damn awesome. don't know if i'll do it again any time soon but it is cool just to have the experience. :)
anyway, just wanted to give other mamas here a nudge. i think we really need to start speaking up and saying we need a break, or whatever..bc imo WE DESERVE IT. everybody else will be ok (our families/kids will be better for it, even!) :) i hate that society in general (and ironically, ESPECIALLY other moms!) always views dads as deserving of breaks/alone time but somehow moms are not supposed to deserve it, or want it, or they can't bc everything will go to pot, or they are supermom and can handle it, or whatever. I call BS on that one. ;) i hear ALL THE TIME about dads/husbands getting the weekends off alone (while mom takes kids to relatives' out of town or whatever) but i don't think i've ever heard any other mom say they had the whole weekend to themselves while the dad took the kids! (talk about a double standard!) i know there are lots of excuses and even i was reluctant at first (could DH handle it all? would the kids miss me?). DH said the trip there went well (DS slept half the time!) and just texted me with pics showing the kids having a blast at the party playing with their cousins (as i knew deep-down they would :)). i felt so bad earlier in the week for not going, but i don't feel lick of guilt now. i feel my sanity coming back, so that is good :)
So yeah, on to the next hurdle...being able to go on a couples vacation with DH! :eek: hopefully in a couple years...i may need to convince the DH on this one...
after a rather stressful summer (selling our house, building new house, living in temp housing, moving twice) plus DS starting school (and DD starting at a new daycare), i felt like i have been rather overwhelmed, tired, and pretty much living and breathing for the weekends. so i told DH i didn't want to go to the ILs this weekend (6+ hr drive away) bc it would just be too much for me. He said ok but I could tell he was a bit bummed and he really wanted me to go. at first, all day yesterday at work i started feeling super guilty about not going, especially bc that morning the kids kept asking why i wasn't going with them and seemed sad at first. i don't travel for work really and the kids have never gone on a trip without both of us there so it was strange to them. and also the trip was to go to my nieces' bday party so i felt like i was being selfish and skimping out on family obligations. however, i honestly felt so exhausted and the last thing i wanted to do this weekend was spend 12+ hrs in a car, eat fast food the entire time, and deal with overstimulated kids and come home to an empty fridge and have like 2 hours to unpack, and do the 5,349 chores/errands we have to cram in before the week starts. plus i would have had to find time in there to make up a few hours of work that i would have to miss for leaving early on Friday.
however, later yesterday i got caught up with work stuff/meetings which was good bc i didn't have to worry about rushing home early. i went to happy hour with coworkers (and had a great time, not worrying about rushing home or whatever). cleaned the house. went to yoga class. went running. did laundry. went grocery shopping and now i'm off to cook several paleo meals from scratch. yes, i kinda miss the kids, but wow, this is pretty damn awesome. don't know if i'll do it again any time soon but it is cool just to have the experience. :)
anyway, just wanted to give other mamas here a nudge. i think we really need to start speaking up and saying we need a break, or whatever..bc imo WE DESERVE IT. everybody else will be ok (our families/kids will be better for it, even!) :) i hate that society in general (and ironically, ESPECIALLY other moms!) always views dads as deserving of breaks/alone time but somehow moms are not supposed to deserve it, or want it, or they can't bc everything will go to pot, or they are supermom and can handle it, or whatever. I call BS on that one. ;) i hear ALL THE TIME about dads/husbands getting the weekends off alone (while mom takes kids to relatives' out of town or whatever) but i don't think i've ever heard any other mom say they had the whole weekend to themselves while the dad took the kids! (talk about a double standard!) i know there are lots of excuses and even i was reluctant at first (could DH handle it all? would the kids miss me?). DH said the trip there went well (DS slept half the time!) and just texted me with pics showing the kids having a blast at the party playing with their cousins (as i knew deep-down they would :)). i felt so bad earlier in the week for not going, but i don't feel lick of guilt now. i feel my sanity coming back, so that is good :)
So yeah, on to the next hurdle...being able to go on a couples vacation with DH! :eek: hopefully in a couple years...i may need to convince the DH on this one...