Do teachers think that one parent is not involved in the kid's education if

[TwoBees]

they do not come to things like orientation or BTS night?

DD1's first BTS night is later this week (kindy) and we don't have a babysitter. It is parents-only so I am planning to go and DH will stay home with the kids. I am more interested in exactly what the kids are learning this year (eg, the outline of the entire year, the core concepts, the resources that will be utilized), I'm the one who has all the questions, takes notes, etc. I'm the "point person" for school stuff. So it makes more sense for me to go. I also went to the orientation the first day of school (there was another parents-only orientation a week earlier) because DH had to work and because he was off the previous day with both kids since school had not yet started. I have this fear that the teacher will think that DH is completely uninterested in DD1's education. That's not true at all. He is simply interested in different aspects of it, and sitting and listening to someone speak is just not his cup of tea. He would rather be involved with the hands-on stuff (eg, the actual learning part). I'm being totally ridiculous with my worries, right?

[baymom]

Yes, you are overthinking it. :) I don't think the teacher would even really notice, TBH. Or, she might think your DH is home with another child. I'm pretty sure she would never assume that your DH isn't interested in DD's education!

[JBaxter]

Yes you are being totally ridiculous Parenting is a team effort. Both parents don't need to show up to back to school night, orientation etc its nice but teachers don't think one parent is not involved because they didn't come.

[ahisma]

You are totally overthinking it. Just make sure to get one parent there . DH is rarely at those things because he's either at school teaching himself or home with the kids. No one has ever thought that he's not involved in their education.

It is nice if you can get a sitter to both go to conferences, but that's pretty much it.

[kep]

I think you are over thinking. Most families I know with more than one child only send one parent to BTS night and other similar activities. My DH is very involved with our kids' education, but due to logistics I am the one all of the teachers see and know. It also isn't unusual in our area for parents to be traveling for work (military and private) anywhere from a week to several months at a time. I don't think the teachers assume much.

[TwoBees]

Thank you. I guess I just needed reassurance that I was being ridiculous. :shy:

[Mikey0709]

We always do one parent.... no choice when it comes to someone staying home with the kids :)

I have a friend who is a teacher in a local district to us, and she doesn't get ANY parents for about 1/2 the class. Most are single parent households, or most may not even care. She also tries to do parent/teacher conferences by telephone - so at least she gets a chance to speak with someone one on one.

[vonfirmath]

they do not come to things like orientation or BTS night?

My husband works nights so this year I'm going to all the events for both kids. And my email is the one the teachers have because I check it more often/am more likely to deal with it. My husband has gone up there in the morning to say Hi to the teachers. And occasionally he will sign off on paperwork instead of me. So I don't think the teachers are going to think he's uninterested. I just have the time he does not have to participate.

[squimp]

There were 200 people at our school night last night. No one is taking notes at those things!

For conferences and especially for contentious meetings, I prefer to have DH come along because well together we are quite a force. ;)

[elephantmeg]

DH only comes to really important things-or things we do as a family. I don't think anyone notices!

[PZMommy]

KindyTeacher here. It is normal for just one parent to attend. Between watching kids, work, etc both parents can't always come. I'm just thrilled when at least one parent per family shows up. Do not stress about this!!!

[daisysmom]

We generally have one parent at pretty much everything school related, but it isn't sitter driven. A lot of parents need to be "on" 24/7 with work, and my DH generally cannot attend school functions. We get sitters a lot but most of the time, it is just me. I think our teacher understands - it is modern day reality. I also don't apologize for it.

[KrisM]

DH doesn't do the back to school nights. He comes to conferences though.

[Simon]

Agree that Dh doesn't make it to most of the school's family events at night and no teacher has ever commented on it. He is usually still working himself or home with the kids. I do try and get him to the conferences (2xyear) but he has to take off work.

[Momit]

I go to a lot of school things on my own. DH is often traveling, or sometimes he'll stay home with DS if we can't find a sitter.

As a side note, this year our school launched the Watch DOGS (Dads of Great Students) program, which is a one-day volunteer program for dads. We had almost 100 dads attend a meeting and sign up to volunteer for a day. It's a great program for getting dads involved in a way that works with their schedules.