Atty questioning 3.5 y.o. w/o parent present? Any family law attys out there?

[2ndtimearound]

The short version is: Can a lawyer who has been appointed by the court to represent a child's (3.5 y.o.) interests in a divorce case question the child without the current custodial parent (mom) present in the room? This is in the NY state court. (They call it Supreme Court, but it's not the highest court.)

DD's atty calls Mom and says please have Mom's atty send over the files AND he wants to talk to the 3.5 y.o. Mom asks can she be there and DD's atty says no. How is that possible? To leave a little girl in a room with an adult man with no one else present?

Mom is worried that the 3.5 y.o. DD, who was very bonded to her dad and misses him, is going to tell the atty representing her interests that everything is with Daddy is great; mom is the mean one. As is typical, Dad was the fun one, and Mom did the caretaking and the discipline. There is a history of DV and a 2 year restraining no contact order against the XH/dad.

Anyone have any advice or insights into what Mom should say or do to help her case?

[123LuckyMom]

I would advise her not to try to prevent the guardian ad litem from meeting with her child! This is mandatory for the GAL who is there to represent the child's best interests. S/he is used to meeting with children, and, like a preschool teacher, is not going to take what the child says at face value. The GAL needs to build a rapport with the child, determine that the child is safe, and see if there needs to be any testing. The last thing the mother should do is obstruct the GAL's ability to represent her child's best interests. It's the GAL's job to investigate the case independently as the child's lawyer. Any interviews with the child will be part of what determines the GAL's case, but so will all the evidence you mentioned. The mom should see the GAL as her ally in protecting her child. Part of protecting her child may include preserving the child's relationship with her father, but the GAL isn't going to recommend the child be in an unsafe environment.

ETA: a quick Google search turned this up. It talks about how much weight is placed on the child's wishes in custody disputes and the role of the GAL.
http://www.divorcenet.com/resources/a-childs-preference-new-york-custody-proceedings.html

[westwoodmom04]

I would advise her not to try to prevent the guardian ad litem from meeting with her child! This is mandatory for the GAL who is there to represent the child's best interests. S/he is used to meeting with children, and, like a preschool teacher, is not going to take what the child says at face value. The GAL needs to build a rapport with the child, determine that the child is safe, and see if there needs to be any testing. The last thing the mother should do is obstruct the GAL's ability to represent her child's best interests. It's the GAL's job to investigate the case independently as the child's lawyer. Any interviews with the child will be part of what determines the GAL's case, but so will all the evidence you mentioned. The mom should see the GAL as her ally in protecting her child. Part of protecting her child may include preserving the child's relationship with her father, but the GAL isn't going to recommend the child be in an unsafe environment.

ETA: a quick Google search turned this up. It talks about how much weight is placed on the child's wishes in custody disputes and the role of the GAL.
http://www.divorcenet.com/resources/a-childs-preference-new-york-custody-proceedings.html

A resounding yes to all of the above.

[MamaMolly]

Remind mom that this is the child's atty, NOT dads. Step back off the cliff! And if she's creeped out about her kid being alone with a strange man then she can politely request that a second adult be present. Or watch it over cctv. Or something.