Quick Question and Little WWYD

[Raidra]

Does your mother still sign your name on things like birthday and sympathy cards she sends to friends/family?

My mother will sign her name and my dad's name on a card, then add my sister, me, my husband, and my kids' names, too. I didn't realize how often she did this until recently. She just posted a long (and cringe-worthy) condolences message to a family member on FB (as a status update, not privately) and signed it With Love and all of our names. I think it's weird and annoying. But should I tell her not to, knowing it's going to make her angry, or not say anything?

It wouldn't cause a huge problem to say anything (though she would be mad), so it doesn't *really* matter, I'm just curious if you'd say something or not.

[ccather]

My name only gets signed if there is a group gift or if I asked her to include us as well. Other than that, my mom considers me a Big Girl and capable of signing my own cards and speaking on my own behalf.

[JBaxter]

Not unless its something like flowers for a funeral Cards notes etc we do our own.

[AngB]

My name only gets signed if there is a group gift or if I asked her to include us as well. Other than that, my mom considers me a Big Girl and capable of signing my own cards and speaking on my own behalf.

:yeahthat:

For some things, like gifts for my grandparents we don't really do except for Christmas (they have 6 kids who have a hard enough time buying for them), my mom usually includes us on the gift she gets them, or like a baby shower which I usually skip (after having a baby die I don't do baby showers unless it's someone super close), but most of the time I do my own card and gift.

[baymom]

I don't think I'd say anything. It's probably just a habit for her and well-intentioned. I doubt that anyone would think you had anything to do with the FB post, since it was posted from her account. I'd just let it roll off my back. I can see how it would be annoying, though.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Maybe just say that you already/ were just about to send a message from your little family.

[Liziz]

My parents stopped listing us on things once we graduated from college. If this was my mom doing it, I would probably nicely tell her that she didn't need to -- "hey, I noticed you're signing my and DH's names...thanks for including us, but I usually send my own stuff now, so you don't need to anymore!". BUT -- I don't think my mom would get mad or upset or offended. If you think it would make your mom mad, I probably wouldn't say anything ... at this point, I doubt anyone thinks that you're actually "saying" the things your mom writes and signs your name to.

[LD92599]

My mom will add my name moreso lately because she lives in my home, so it's easier to send one card vs two and she knows it saves effort on my part! I don't think she did before she moved in!

[Dayzy]

It depends on who it was going to. If it was to a close relative like my aunt or uncle, my mom would expect me to send my own card. For something where it's a more distant relative or an old friend of hers, she would sign all of ours. My mom always sent her godchildren cards and would sign from the whole family and it never bothered me, because I wouldn't think to send a card to the child of the woman who lived next door to her in the 60's and was her closest friend.

[NCGrandma]

I learn so much here -- I was flabbergasted to read this because it would truly never occur to me, unlike some things that might occur to me but that I would think better of 8-). Of course, if everyone lives in the same house, that's a bit different, but it doesn't sound like that's the situation.


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[ShanaMama]

I can relate. As kids, my mom wanted each & every one of us to sign every birthday card she ever sent out. Now if she gives me or my kids a card she usually just signs her own name & my father's, because my siblings aren't around. But occasionally she will sign each name in parenthesis, indicating that she wrote it. This includes kids, in law children and grandchildren.
I can totally see her including my signature on a condolence note and it would irk me too. But like you, she'd get upset if I confronted her so I would probably ignore it & assume the recipient thought nothing of it.

[specialp]

No, my mom hasn't done that since I was in college. We send funeral flowers, cards, etc. on our own. Not sure what I would do if she still did.