wendibird22
09-30-2015, 02:11 PM
Update: the neurologist told her that the MRI didn't show a cause of the tingling and numbness but did show an abnormality in a sinus cavity. He's referring her to an ENT and said he wants her to deal with that first. She of course is totally distressed and "reading between the lines" (in her words) that this is a tumor and the cause of the issues. But then why wouldn't he say there's a tumor, this could be causing the neuro issues, and I'm referring you. Why be so vague and why say the MRI didn't show a cause of the neuro symptoms? Weird. I of course consulted Dr Google and nothing about sinus tumor symptoms designates...headaches, facial swelling, nose bleeds, vision changes, etc are not what she's experiencing. So anyway, now she's trying to get into the ENT who are playing the "we haven't received your referral and we can't schedule without a referral" game even though her PCP has sent over the referral info. And given my moms depression and anxiety, living alone, and her reading between the lines she's going to be an absolute mess until she gets to see the ENT. So please keep the P&PT coming for us. We could use it.
I posted a few weeks ago about my mom experiencing one-side tingling and sensations of numbness on her face, arm, and leg. She finally got in to see a neurologist who is sending her for an MRI tomorrow. She's super freaked out not so much at possible bad diagnosis but of the MRI itself. Luckily we have a center here that dose open MRI but even so she's freaked and they've asked her to take a valium before the procedure. I'm sure she's also nervous about what's medically wrong.
Please send some good vibes our way. First, for my mom's health, that whatever is causing the issue can easily be resolved and that her fear of being a burden on others is lifted. She and my dad separated more than 15yrs ago but have never divorced. He's still in the area but distant emotionally of course, so mom lives alone. She lacks self-confidence and suffers bouts of depression so it's easy for her to get into wallowing self-pity mode and then immediately feel bad about that too, repeat the cycle. With her depression and her inability to deal with marriage separation she's also become a hoarder so her house is in disarray. So that weighs on her too.
Second, some P&PT for me that whatever the outcome of her tests, that I'm able to deal with it. I'm not the most empathetic person...I think I'm missing that gene, and mom's wallowing can rob me of any desire to be supportive. I'm always supportive at first but when she's unwilling to change or take any control of her situation then my support turns to frustration quickly. Case in point, anytime her car needs work she goes into a mode of not knowing whether to repair or buy new and then gets whiny about how she doesn't know how to negotiate a new car and doesn't want to be taken advantage of, and it's not fair she doesn't have a husband to help with these kinds of things, and she's not as savvy as I am, and she wishes she were more like me, etc. I've had that discussion in that exact sequence with her 5 times this year alone. 5. It gets old. So, yeah if it turns out she has some major medical issue to face, I'm gonna need patience, and empathy, and wine. I can't count on my dad stepping up very much (although he did agree to taker her to the MRI because, in her words, she didn't want to burden me by asking because she knows I'm busy with work). My brother is distant emotionally from my mom and also lives 2.5hr away. He'll be no help. At all. She has 1 sister who lives 1.5hr away. Not many friends nearby. Sadly many of her closest friends passed away over the past 10yrs and her BFF retired to another state a decade ago. The responsibility will fall squarely on my shoulders. I live 30 min from her, work full time in a job that regularly requires night and weekend work (and work is 45min from her), I have 2 school aged kids who are in activities, a husband who works FT as a teacher who spends countless hours at night grading and doing lesson plans. Me becoming the caretaker, and having will be a strain on us all. But when is it not? I know many of you have been there, done that, so if/when the time comes, I'll welcome advice.
So yeah, whatever mojo, positive vibes, prayers, etc you can throw out into the universe for her test tomorrow and for both of us to deal with whatever comes after, I'd truly appreciate it.
I posted a few weeks ago about my mom experiencing one-side tingling and sensations of numbness on her face, arm, and leg. She finally got in to see a neurologist who is sending her for an MRI tomorrow. She's super freaked out not so much at possible bad diagnosis but of the MRI itself. Luckily we have a center here that dose open MRI but even so she's freaked and they've asked her to take a valium before the procedure. I'm sure she's also nervous about what's medically wrong.
Please send some good vibes our way. First, for my mom's health, that whatever is causing the issue can easily be resolved and that her fear of being a burden on others is lifted. She and my dad separated more than 15yrs ago but have never divorced. He's still in the area but distant emotionally of course, so mom lives alone. She lacks self-confidence and suffers bouts of depression so it's easy for her to get into wallowing self-pity mode and then immediately feel bad about that too, repeat the cycle. With her depression and her inability to deal with marriage separation she's also become a hoarder so her house is in disarray. So that weighs on her too.
Second, some P&PT for me that whatever the outcome of her tests, that I'm able to deal with it. I'm not the most empathetic person...I think I'm missing that gene, and mom's wallowing can rob me of any desire to be supportive. I'm always supportive at first but when she's unwilling to change or take any control of her situation then my support turns to frustration quickly. Case in point, anytime her car needs work she goes into a mode of not knowing whether to repair or buy new and then gets whiny about how she doesn't know how to negotiate a new car and doesn't want to be taken advantage of, and it's not fair she doesn't have a husband to help with these kinds of things, and she's not as savvy as I am, and she wishes she were more like me, etc. I've had that discussion in that exact sequence with her 5 times this year alone. 5. It gets old. So, yeah if it turns out she has some major medical issue to face, I'm gonna need patience, and empathy, and wine. I can't count on my dad stepping up very much (although he did agree to taker her to the MRI because, in her words, she didn't want to burden me by asking because she knows I'm busy with work). My brother is distant emotionally from my mom and also lives 2.5hr away. He'll be no help. At all. She has 1 sister who lives 1.5hr away. Not many friends nearby. Sadly many of her closest friends passed away over the past 10yrs and her BFF retired to another state a decade ago. The responsibility will fall squarely on my shoulders. I live 30 min from her, work full time in a job that regularly requires night and weekend work (and work is 45min from her), I have 2 school aged kids who are in activities, a husband who works FT as a teacher who spends countless hours at night grading and doing lesson plans. Me becoming the caretaker, and having will be a strain on us all. But when is it not? I know many of you have been there, done that, so if/when the time comes, I'll welcome advice.
So yeah, whatever mojo, positive vibes, prayers, etc you can throw out into the universe for her test tomorrow and for both of us to deal with whatever comes after, I'd truly appreciate it.