(West Coast) gift givers how much do you spend on an engagement party gift?

[AnnieW625]

Even if you aren't on the west coast feel free to comment, but in my experience even living in a high col area I have never been to a shower or wedding where a gift of $250+ is standard (hence never lived in New York metro where peer the BBB that $$$ is standard.....and no I am not peeking at checks, but most people we have known still register for mainly <$100 items at Target, BB&B, Amazon, Macy's, and Bloomingdales.)

We have been invited to an engagement party for my cousin (groom) and the couple both still live at home. Both are 27, and the groom is interning at a hospital (got a masters degree in health admin. this past May), and the bride is a masters student, but gainfully employed at her university in the pr/communications department. She doesn't have grad school loans as her employer (the university) is paying for her program, but he does and they don't have two full time incomes. They have nothing more than what is in their rooms at home, and both live in some of the higher col areas of my area. This is the first engagement party I have ever been to so I don't know what the status quo is. They drink alcohol on a social basis, but want to do something more than a bottle of wine. I thought about a $50 gift card to a great local steak house, but I didn't want them to never use it if coming up with an additional $50 was going to be a stretch. I want to do more than a bottle wine.

Most of their inexpensive glassware and accessories (<than $20) has already been bought off their registries, and while I could do a gift card I like physical gifts.

[squimp]

I must admit, I have never been to an engagement party either. It just isn't a thing for my friends or family. I usually give $50-$200 gifts for the wedding, depending on how close we are and in rare circumstances how expensive the wedding is. So my engagement party gift would probably be in the $25 range.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Can you think of a restaurant where $50 would buy dinner? I can and that's probably what I'd pick.

[citymama]

I've never been to an engagement party where gifts were expected (as in, anything formal - we had a small party when we got engaged and got some flowers and wine but no gifts). I think something symbolic to keep them sane during wedding planning would be nice - $50 dinner gift card or couple of bottles of nice wine/wine store gift card. But I really don't know the context - gigantic party with registry would be another thing altogether!

[icunurse]

With the engagements parties that I have been invited to (mostly on DH's side), gifts weren't expected and those who gave something gave small gifts. I have either given a small gift card or, at most, I gave a cookbook (really nice one, specifically made for married couples) with some bakeware pieces (bought at Wilton tent sale). But I've never seen anyone register for an engagement party. I don't think I'd break $50.

[rlu]

Even with the ritzy relatives we've never been to an engagement party. The husband-to-be often showed up at the end of the family bridal shower.

I think a $50 gc for dinner would be fine, assuming it reasonably covers dinner, but I'd go lower myself with a bottle of wine.

[kristenk]

I just realized that you're talking about an engagement party and not a bridal/couples shower. I've been to a few engagement parties and gifts weren't expected at all. Do you think they're expecting presents??

ETA: I voted in the poll incorrectly, so strike one vote from $31-75.

[marymoo86]

Here an engagement party is just that - a party to celebrate the new couple.

I have brought a hostess gift (bottle of wine) for a party but nothing for the couple. The shower which would be much closer to the wedding would be where the gifts would be expected.

If they have already registered and gifts purchased, is this really a party and not a shower?

[TwinFoxes]

Here an engagement party is just that - a party to celebrate the new couple.

I have brought a hostess gift (bottle of wine) for a party but nothing for the couple. The shower which would be much closer to the wedding would be where the gifts would be expected.

If they have already registered and gifts purchased, is this really a party and not a shower?

This, exactly. The engagement parties I have been to have been small, and pretty soon after the actual engagement. Like well before a registry is completed and gifts bought off it. I've been to two, both were more like family and the parents' friends, plus the honor attendants.

[daisysmom]

For us, in the south, no gifts for engagement parties. Showers are for gifts. We are in an area where, 11 years ago when we got married, most wedding gifts were $200 ish and shower gifts were $75+. But for an engagement party, a hostess gift was appropriate. So I would bring a card and plan on some fun splurging for their wedding.

[azzeps]

My parents hosted an engagement party for us.... we lived out of town, and were in town, and mostly it was an excuse for everybody to come visit while we were around... share a toast and a glass of champagne... show off the ring! ha ha.... I don't remember if there were any gifts or not. Cards, maybe? Might have been a gift from my parents. If I felt like getting a gift, I might get a small crystal or silver picture frame (or whatever their taste is), like a 5x7, so they can put an engagement picture in there. I don't think it's a requirement, but it wouldn't be totally out of place.

[AnnieW625]

I ended up getting them $50 to The Yardhouse. I chose that place because they go to downtown LA for hockey games a few times a season and there is one next door or there is one at the outdoor mall in the city they love in. Thanks for all of the suggestions.